Boundaries: When to say yes, how to say no to take control of your life.

Jones

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
This is an audio rip of an old VHS set on the work of Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend on boundaries. I used to own this set but it went the way of old VHS tapes and became unplayable. I bought the book of the same name after that and wasn't as impressed by the book as I was by the work in this video set.

While the material has a heavy biblical tone, this audio challenges some of the more mainstream interpretations of the bible and does it more definitively than the book does. That said by someone has read the bible, but not studied it apart from the topics discussed on the forum and through Laura's writings. Despite that there is still some mainstream religious programming that this series of talks can highlight. One thing that I'd forgotten was the level of humour used in this set.

Suggested by a counsellor I was seeing years ago, what was most helpful was the clear definitions of what a boundary is and what a life without boundaries looks and feels like and the exploration of the flow on effects of both good boundaries and no boundaries. It's difficult to work with something where there is little experience and no clear guidelines for a way out. That doesn't mean that armed with those things, that it's an easy issue to resolve. There are still challenges along the way.

While some of the material drifts into the black and white somewhat, I think that's OK as a foundation and a base to start learning and growing from.

There 8 subjects covered, none longer than 38 mins.

1. What is a Boundary?
2 Boundaries Problems and Symptoms
3 The Laws of Boundaries Pt1
4 The Laws of Boundaries Pt2
5 The Myths of Boundaries
6 A Course of Recovery
7 Resistances to Boundaries
8 The Yardsticks of Boundaries

Part 1: What is a boundary? 35:59 mins


Part 2: Boundary problems and symptoms. 28:58 mins


Part 3: The laws of boundaries part 1. 37:35 mins


Part 4: The laws of boundaries part 2. 35:07 mins


Part 5: The myths of boundaries. 28:39 mins


Part 6: A course of recovery. 31:21 mins

https://youtu.be/XAqpeORmEO4

Part 7: Resistances to boundaries. 25:44 mins

https://youtu.be/uC8euHmxHJQ

Part 8: The yardsticks of boundaries. 17:58 mins

https://youtu.be/USVvoheMETI
 

Jones

Ambassador
Ambassador
FOTCM Member
There is also a workbook available based on the material above.

The amazon blurb says:

The New York Times bestselling book Boundaries has helped millions understand that being a loving Christian does not mean never saying no. This newly updated and expanded companion workbook provides practical exercises for setting boundaries in marriage, parenting, business, and friendships in a digital age.

Following the newly updated and expanded edition of Boundaries chapter-by-chapter, this interactive workbook helps you look at specific relationships in your own life. With those situations in mind, you can ask and answer:

  • Why do I feel guilty about setting clear boundaries?
  • What if the boundaries I set hurt the other person?
  • Is it difficult for me to hear no from others?
  • What are examples of legitimate boundaries at work and home?
  • How can I have good boundaries online?
  • How can I stay connected while still setting boundaries with my phone?
  • In what ways do I need to set better boundaries with social media?
Boundaries Workbook gives a biblical foundation and practical tools for helping others respect your boundaries—whether you are not responding to a text message immediately or saying no when someone asks you to volunteer for one more activity.

Discover firsthand how good boundaries give you the freedom to live as the loving, generous, fulfilled person God created you to be.
 

cassandra

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
There is also a workbook available based on the material above.

The amazon blurb says:
Thank you for this, Jones. The book has been sitting on my bookshelf for some time. I was initially, a bit put off due to the biblical themes. I‘m learning to be suspicious of being put off by things without really bothering to give them a fair chance.
I also notice that for every important and recommended read, there is a resistance in me, a block. I certainly have enormous boundary issues, so it’s an issue I need to seriously deal with. In one of the talks, it is mentioned that we will certainly resist the light. I‘m slowly learning to overcome these stupid blocks.
Anger is mentioned as a symptom of weak boundaries. People with strong boundaries are generally calm and relaxed.
I‘ve been listening to these talks over and over. I think this is a game changing material. It‘s very funny in parts and pretty down to earth. It contains very memorable anecdotes and densely packed wisdom. When my mind started wandering, I would miss a few gems, so I‘ve been listening to various parts once every couple of days, and felt better for it, also more sober. Brilliant stuff.
 

iamthatis

Jedi Master
FOTCM Member
This is an audio rip of an old VHS set on the work of Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend on boundaries. I used to own this set but it went the way of old VHS tapes and became unplayable. I bought the book of the same name after that and wasn't as impressed by the book as I was by the work in this video set.

While the material has a heavy biblical tone, this audio challenges some of the more mainstream interpretations of the bible and does it more definitively than the book does. That said by someone has read the bible, but not studied it apart from the topics discussed on the forum and through Laura's writings. Despite that there is still some mainstream religious programming that this series of talks can highlight. One thing that I'd forgotten was the level of humour used in this set.

Suggested by a counsellor I was seeing years ago, what was most helpful was the clear definitions of what a boundary is and what a life without boundaries looks and feels like and the exploration of the flow on effects of both good boundaries and no boundaries. It's difficult to work with something where there is little experience and no clear guidelines for a way out. That doesn't mean that armed with those things, that it's an easy issue to resolve. There are still challenges along the way.

While some of the material drifts into the black and white somewhat, I think that's OK as a foundation and a base to start learning and growing from.

There 8 subjects covered, none longer than 38 mins.

1. What is a Boundary?
2 Boundaries Problems and Symptoms
3 The Laws of Boundaries Pt1
4 The Laws of Boundaries Pt2
5 The Myths of Boundaries
6 A Course of Recovery
7 Resistances to Boundaries
8 The Yardsticks of Boundaries

Part 1: What is a boundary? 35:59 mins


Part 2: Boundary problems and symptoms. 28:58 mins


Part 3: The laws of boundaries part 1. 37:35 mins


Part 4: The laws of boundaries part 2. 35:07 mins


Part 5: The myths of boundaries. 28:39 mins


Part 6: A course of recovery. 31:21 mins

6: A Course of Recovery. Boundaries Cloud Townsend VHS audio rip

Part 7: Resistances to boundaries. 25:44 mins

7: Resistances to Boundaries. Boundaries Cloud Townsend VHS audio rip

Part 8: The yardsticks of boundaries. 17:58 mins

8: The Yardsticks of Boundaries. Boundaries Cloud Townsend VHS audio rip


Any good ideas how to harvest the audio from YouTube? I've tried 4K Video Converter, which used to work, but now all my attempts come up as errors. I tried another program, too, but it says 'no suitable audio'.
 

Aiming

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
Any good ideas how to harvest the audio from YouTube? I've tried 4K Video Converter, which used to work, but now all my attempts come up as errors. I tried another program, too, but it says 'no suitable audio'.
Do you use Windows, Mac or Linux? I can only comment on Linux, though. There, I've succesfully used the "Video Downloader" from the 'Ubuntu Software center'.
 

iamthatis

Jedi Master
FOTCM Member
Do you use Windows, Mac or Linux? I can only comment on Linux, though. There, I've succesfully used the "Video Downloader" from the 'Ubuntu Software center'.

Mac user. I will continue searching... I wonder if YouTube somehow caught on and changed something to prevent the downloads from happening.
 

Recto

Jedi
Mac user. I will continue searching... I wonder if YouTube somehow caught on and changed something to prevent the downloads from happening.

If you are comfortable using the command line/terminal (or not scared to try using it) you can use youtube-dl which is a software with many options that is updated very regularly in order to be always "compatible" with Youtube updates regarding the download of video/audio. You can find the documentation for the installation process on Mac OS and the options available here :


It can be installed through Homebrew which is a command line software installer. For your use case the command would be for instance :
youtube-dl --extract-audio --audio-format [e.g. mp3] URL

The youtube-dl can download the audio directly but it is either in webm or m4a format. With the command above, it downloads the video then extracts the audio to the target format. For that it uses ffmpeg + ffprobe (or avconv + avprobe), they can be installed using Homebrew as well .
For downloading a webm or m4a audio directly you can do :
youtube-dl --list-formats URL (list the video and audio formats available for download)
youtube-dl --format [format number] URL

I've never had any issue with this software as long as I keep it up to date. On top of that, it is powerful enough to do fancy stuff when needed (e.g. downloading playlists, bypassing georestrictions, adding post processing tasks, etc).
 

Quill

Padawan Learner
Any good ideas how to harvest the audio from YouTube? I've tried 4K Video Converter, which used to work, but now all my attempts come up as errors. I tried another program, too, but it says 'no suitable audio'.
I haven't used mac, but assume, that there might be similarities in audio device settings:

One way, that works on windows, is to enable something like "stereo mix"(may differ, depending on the hardware) in the soundcards settings. Then play the video, having an audio editor to record the 'live' audio output.

It's a slow way though, in the spirit when c- and vhs cassettes were the thing. But what the heck; by nature, archiving always takes it's own time.
 

Manu

Padawan Learner
Any good ideas how to harvest the audio from YouTube? I've tried 4K Video Converter, which used to work, but now all my attempts come up as errors. I tried another program, too, but it says 'no suitable audio'.
Hi iamthatis, go here to download to audio files only Boundaries

I hope this helps.

 

placematt

Jedi Master
FOTCM Member
I jus bought the updated version on audible and must say its an excellent book. This with healing developmental trauma, trapped in the mirror, narcissistic family are all complimentary and extremely valuable. Im finding im really starting to understand the connection between all these areas more thoroughly. I thought the idea that boundaries are about relationships really quite profound, i have always struggled with boundaries but this book actually makes me want to have the kind of relationships that are expressed. The examples from the book are excellent and the exercises and practical tips are also really down to earth. I look forward to listening several more times to really understand it more.
 

iamthatis

Jedi Master
FOTCM Member
If you are comfortable using the command line/terminal (or not scared to try using it) you can use youtube-dl which is a software with many options that is updated very regularly in order to be always "compatible" with Youtube updates regarding the download of video/audio. You can find the documentation for the installation process on Mac OS and the options available here :


It can be installed through Homebrew which is a command line software installer. For your use case the command would be for instance :


The youtube-dl can download the audio directly but it is either in webm or m4a format. With the command above, it downloads the video then extracts the audio to the target format. For that it uses ffmpeg + ffprobe (or avconv + avprobe), they can be installed using Homebrew as well .
For downloading a webm or m4a audio directly you can do :


I've never had any issue with this software as long as I keep it up to date. On top of that, it is powerful enough to do fancy stuff when needed (e.g. downloading playlists, bypassing georestrictions, adding post processing tasks, etc).

Thank you! I have no experience with using command-line software, but there's no time like the present to learn, eh?
 

Recto

Jedi
Thank you! I have no experience with using command-line software, but there's no time like the present to learn, eh?

Well it shouldn't be too hard past the first couple of uses. The key, as always, is to read carefully the instructions. If the technobabble is too much (tech people love using their own jargon), don't hesitate to ask for more pointers. I'd be happy to help :-)
 
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