Bullied children can suffer lasting psychological harm as adults

[no-mans-land]

There is a quite interesting article about how bullied children can suffer as adults.

http://www.dukehealth.org/health_library/news/bullied-children-can-suffer-lasting-psychological-harm-as-adults

DURHAM, NC – Bullied children grow into adults who are at increased risk of developing anxiety disorders, depression and suicidal thoughts, according to a study led by researchers at Duke Medicine.

The findings, based on more than 20 years of data from a large group of participants initially enrolled as adolescents, are the most definitive to date in establishing the long-term psychological effects of bullying.

Since the main focus of the psychological literature is about how family issues shaping the child's behavior as an adult, the effects of psychological violence in school lacks detailed analysis. There is a good remark about it:

“Bullying is potentially a problem for bullies as well as for victims,” said senior author E. Jane Costello, PhD, associate director of research at Duke’s Center for Child and Family Policy. “Bullying, which we tend to think of as a normal and not terribly important part of childhood, turns out to have the potential for very serious consequences for children, adolescents and adults.”

Really? I am currently reading "The narcissistic Family" as well as "You are not so smart" and during this read I came to the realization that the main issues of dealing with psychological abusive people was not because of a narcissistic dysfunctional family, but because I was a constant victim of bullies during my schooltime. The fact that there were little backup from my family to deal with it, made the trauma just deeper, but the main cause lies not within the family itself.

So, the psychological violence at school do have a great impact, probably the same effects as you were raised in an dysfunctional family because the most of the day you spend your time in school, for years. I wish that some resarcher would take a deep look into how children interact at school. I would bet the outcome will be devastating regarding how the environment destroys the mind of children.

A current article posted on SOTT makes it obvious:

http://www.sott.net/article/258817-9-year-old-boy-commits-suicide-after-racial-bullying

Edit: I just saw that SOTT already posted an article about it. You guys are really fast.
http://www.sott.net/article/258653-Effects-of-bullying-last-into-adulthood-study-finds

 

[Nook]

Thanks for sharing, no-man's-land.

This is a topic that is definitely not getting enough attention in research circles.
This form of abuse - be it verbal, physical or both - imo needs to be addressed just as other forms of abuse.
I'm not saying it's as severe as domestic violence and such - though it can be - but it needs to be looked at critically.

I can only attest to these

Bullied children grow into adults who are at increased risk of developing anxiety disorders, depression and suicidal thoughts

“Bullying, which we tend to think of as a normal and not terribly important part of childhood, turns out to have the potential for very serious consequences for children, adolescents and adults.”

The young people who were only victims had higher levels of depressive disorders, anxiety disorders, generalized anxiety, panic disorder and agoraphobia.

and what you wrote

I came to the realization that the main issues of dealing with psychological abusive people was not because of a narcissistic dysfunctional family, but because I was a constant victim of bullies during my schooltime. The fact that there were little backup from my family to deal with it, made the trauma just deeper, but the main cause lies not within the family itself.

Same here. Even though I did have a dysfunctional family, raised only by my mother until I was 13, she had to work a lot to provide for the both of us - I was home alone a lot - which didn't always work.
In such times, she wouldn't eat so I could eat, saying that she's 'dieting', even though she was thin at the time..I went along with it, justifying it by thinking 'she's the adult, if she's fine with it, I don't have the right to question her'.
This was just the general setting at home, others I would rather not go into at this point.

Even under these circumstances at home, many a times I cried myself to sleep because of what was going on in school and the fear/terror of what would happen the next day.
The bullying was both verbal and physical and I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with it, I think reading Redirect - coming up soon in my reading list - will be the ultimate book I need to read to really know how to deal with these issues and others in my past.

 

[Laura]

I agree that bullying by peers can be far more devastating than dysfunction in the family. However, if the family isn't supportive, that can just add another terrible layer to the suffering. In a sense, it is as though the entire family is bullied through the main victim.

 

[Nook]

I agree that bullying by peers can be far more devastating than dysfunction in the family. However, if the family isn't supportive, that can just add another terrible layer to the suffering. In a sense, it is as though the entire family is bullied through the main victim.

Yes, I agree.

In our case, my mother had her own 'bullies' to deal with. Her boss and a few of her co-workers and if I'm not mistaken she also had similar issues in her school years.

I think in a way, we thought we were supporting each other but all it was was sometimes listening to each other's issues.
We couldn't really offer any advice to each other, we both felt unable to really do anything about these issues.

 

[seek10]

when we entered engineering college, new comers are subjected to systemic bullying called Ragging for specific period of month or so.

Ragging is a practice in educational institutions in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh and Sri Lanka that involves existing students baiting
or bullying new students. It is similar to the phenomenon of hazing. It often takes a malignant form wherein the newcomers may be subjected
to psychological or physical torture.[1][2] Currently, Sri Lanka is said to be the worst affected country in the world.[3][4]

My college is considered worst during those days. At the end of the process, we left with a strange feeling. The bright,creative,self confident students, who entered
outside their city/family support for the first time became normalised, scared to raise their mouth or express their creative ideas or show confidence, scared to see the face of seniors comfortably for number of years.

I often wondered who got this stupid idea. It is a sort of systemic ponerisation.

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

Really? I am currently reading "The narcissistic Family" as well as "You are not so smart" and during this read I came to the realization that the main issues of dealing with psychological abusive people was not because of a narcissistic dysfunctional family, but because I was a constant victim of bullies during my schooltime. The fact that there were little backup from my family to deal with it, made the trauma just deeper, but the main cause lies not within the family itself.

I agree that bullying by peers can be far more devastating than dysfunction in the family. However, if the family isn't supportive, that can just add another terrible layer to the suffering. In a sense, it is as though the entire family is bullied through the main victim.

Mary Pipher in her book Reviving Ophelia makes a pretty strong case in that direction. She shows how children from loving families go from happy, confident and eager to discover the world when they are 8 to depressed and suicidal at 15 because of bullying and peer pressure. It was quite heartbreaking to read how widespread abuse by peers was in US schools. Not saying it does not exist in Europe but I have yet to read an account of how great high school was for s.o. in the US.

Personally, maybe I was lucky but I have fond memories of these years (end of 80's -beginning of the 90's): I was in a Catholic school and there were simply no bullies. That kind of behaviour would have you fired on the spot. It was very, very strict. Detention was once a month because there was not enough 'bad behaviour' to be more frequent. The whole school was in shock when we found out that a senior pupil (17) had smoked a cigarette in the toilet during a break!! That's the 'worst' event that ever happened during my 6 years there...

 

[no-mans-land]

Mary Pipher in her book Reviving Ophelia makes a pretty strong case in that direction. She shows how children from loving families go from happy, confident and eager to discover the world when they are 8 to depressed and suicidal at 15 because of bullying and peer pressure.

What i find surprising is, that this fact need a research study for psychologists to come to the conclusion that bullling is not "normal and not terribly important part of childhood". WTF? If i look back, there were at least 40% of every class who were more or less victims of this kind, some less, but some suffered way worse than the things i had to endure. And the teachers were well aware of it. They saw everything, they knew everyone, but no one ever said a word.

I never understood how they could be so blind to the source of it. In every class, there were at least one or two children who "radiated" violence of every kind. If you have a class of 30 children, you got 1,8 psychopaths in it. And this was exactly the number i experienced back then. If someone would have asked me as a child to point the finger to those who fueled the violence, the case would have been clear. It was so obvious that a small minority was able to infect half the class to act so inhumane against the other half that sometimes they acted like animals.

And this was almost 20 years ago. If i look around now, things seems much worse. Poor souls.

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

I never understood how they could be so blind to the source of it. In every class, there were at least one or two children who "radiated" violence of every kind. If you have a class of 30 children, you got 1,8 psychopaths in it. And this was exactly the number i experienced back then.

Sometimes teachers simply aren't backed up by the management of the school. And without that, apart from a remark once in a while, there is not much that can be done.
Here for example, schools that fire pupils can get into trouble with parents (trials), with local authority (school management is almost always involved in local politics), etc. And school directors are usually too attached to their big salaries and their position to take that chance...

And then of course, you're right, there are some teachers who are just cowards (or blind), and don't do anything...

 

[Gwenllian]

I know that bullying is one of the main reasons for parents in England to start educating their kids at home.
Thank you for this information. It is a topic close to my heart.
I didn't know that bullying by peers can be far more devastating than dysfunction in the family! And all this time schools and other institutions have been pointing the finger at parents when something goes wrong with their children.

And the study doesn't mention bullying by teachers.
How many cases of bullying take place, where the teacher is the culprit? Even this study protects the people in charge, OSIT.
I had a friend in primary school that went to another school before her last year, because our teacher had it in for her. This was about forty years ago.

Edit: deleted always.

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

And the study doesn't mention bullying by teachers.
How many cases of bullying take place, where the teacher is the culprit? Even this study protects the people in charge, OSIT.
I had a friend in primary school that went to another school before her last year, because our teacher had it in for her. This was about forty years ago.

Good point, Mariama. I think it's even more difficult then for the child, because a teacher can really put one's education on hold if he so wishes. One of my friends studied with me for 4 years and at the time of getting our degree, the teacher who had something against her (my friend was skipping a lot of classes because she had to work to pay for her studies - the teacher would not have it despite my friend knowing the subject almost by heart) and she made her repeat the year. She then told her: "there is no way you are ever getting your degree as long as I'm in this school". :O
My friend felt she could not fight s.o. so powerful at school and she gave up. She never got her degree.

 

[wmu9]

I wish this forum would stop being so insightful. No sooner than I start to get caught up on reading, you guys start talking about a whole new constellation of books.

 

[Tomiro]

I agree with what's being said here and in the article. It also reflects my own experience during most of my school years. It has taken a long time getting over it, or even to recognize how it has been affecting my behavior.

In hindsight it's interesting to notice that all it took was one "chief bully" with psychopathic traits, to get everyone on his side, or to participate. Even those who I though were my friends. The pattern worked in such a way, that I often first befriended this chief-bully, or so I thought, until he showed his true colors. Also my fear of rejection, shame, as well as emotionally absent parents, among other things, prevented me from dealing with the situation in any useful way, or to leave said "friends". Religion might have helped me to endure the torment, but not in dealing with the situation, with "useful" instructions to just "turn the other cheek", which I did.

If some of the abuse had taken place anywhere else, it would likely involve police action. But since it was at school, it was ignored since "this is just what kids do".

The same thing then repeated a number of times in different schools. Some of the same patterns also came up in past relationships.

The systematic bullying of newcomers was also commonplace in school and the armed forces, but it never bothered my that much, since it was equally directed towards all newcomers, and comparatively mild in comparison.

There was also a bullying teacher, who too singled out me as a target. He later became principal of the school. Apart from the bullying, he had no skill at teaching, and pretty much ruined my interest in history for many years. Still, maybe half of the class (authoritarian personality types I guess), were spellbound by him, and thought that he was the best teacher ever, and even took extra classes.

 

[Gwenllian]

If some of the abuse had taken place anywhere else, it would likely involve police action. But since it was at school, it was ignored since "this is just what kids do".

Exactly!
The police are now involved in schools (in the US), but they are not there to help kids that are being bullied. They add to the problem, they are the super bullies, because they have the authority to handcuff kids and take them away for reasons that are almost laughable. It is unbelievable what is happening in schools. And as outsiders you do not get to see anything. We have to rely on the accounts of the students or ex-teachers like John Taylor Gatto that have written about the system.

The accounts of people in this thread are heartbreaking. Teachers and principals have so much power, but most people do not seem to realize it, OSIT.
That said, I was a teacher for a couple of years. I treated the whole classroom situation as if I was at war. I was a terrible teacher. I was very immature and did not understand kids and where they were coming from at all. And yet, I could teach. I shouldn't have had the job. And I am sure I wasn't the only one that was unfit to teach young minds and souls.
I still feel sorry at times for what I did to my students and how I behaved.

 

[no-mans-land]

Sometimes teachers simply aren't backed up by the management of the school. And without that, apart from a remark once in a while, there is not much that can be done.
Here for example, schools that fire pupils can get into trouble with parents (trials), with local authority (school management is almost always involved in local politics), etc. And school directors are usually too attached to their big salaries and their position to take that chance...
And then of course, you're right, there are some teachers who are just cowards (or blind), and don't do anything...

I can remember a specific case in where a new teacher was introduced into our class. I think it was in the 8th grade and this teacher was very straight, but also fair and he tried his best to motivate the children as well he offered at least some protection if a child was under attack. He not always did this and sometimes he also played his tricks against us, but all in all, he brought a little bit light into the darkness.

The curious thing was, that he soon was suspended because he was accused of sexual assault from a girl of my class. Today i still think this was a fake accusation because the girl just didn't liked him. Maybe he really did what he was accused of (no one ever mentioned details), but i find it interesting that just this particular teacher was removed rather quickly. This was the only case i ever experienced that a teacher was fired, but also the only case of an teacher who showed at least some concern about his pupils. General law?

 

[Infiniteness]

Bullies who were also victims were particularly troubled: they were 14.5 times more likely to develop panic disorder as adults, compared to those who did not experience bullying, and 4.8 times more likely to experience depression. Men who were both bullies and victims were 18.5 times more likely to have had suicidal thoughts in adulthood, compared to the participants who had not been bullied or perpetuators.

Dose anybody know why that's the case, the above quote? I probably fit this category. Got bullied and bullied, along with my mental illness. It made a lot of days at school unbearable.