Calcium & Vitamin D3 deficiency in my parrot

Lylialic I'm really sorry to hear about Lui, a big hug from me :hug2: Poor little fella, his pain and discomfort are over now but I guess it will take you a while to recover. You had such a strong bond with him and he was so well cared for.

:hug:
 
My condolences Lilyalic. I am really sorry to hear that Lui passed away. You loved him so much. :hug2:

Last few days my parrot is also not feeling right. He is loosing strength in his legs. He is a young bird. About 3.5 years old. Local vet gives him some medicine for a birds, something like antibiotic and antiviral. He is a little better. But still, he is breathing heavy, has a weak legs and probably has a fever because when i touch his legs i can feel that they are much hotter then usually.
 
Sorry to hear that, Lilyalic. At least he doesn't have to suffer any more. :hug2:
 
Lilyalic,

So sorry to hear about Lui. It sounds like you did everything you could to help him get better. As T.C. said, at least he doesn't have to suffer anymore. Maybe that can be a small comfort for you?

My condolences to you Lilyalic. Take care of yourself.
 
On the day he died I think I was mostly in shock. I also had to have a root canal done in the morning so from the anesthetic and painkillers I was out of it.

I buried him yesterday in a local forest that I know as I don't have a permanent place to call home. It's so quiet in the house without him, usually when I go to sleep I can hear his content "beak grinding" and it soothes me, if I get a shower he's squarking, if I leave the room he squarked. He'd greet me everyday when I came home with kissing noises, and I could see him in the window as I pulled up in my car. I keep having mini break downs and crying episodes - this is freaking hard. My therapist/counselor is awesome and saw me yesterday early morning.

I hadn't slept properly Thursday night, maybe 2 hours, but today I slept until 12 and went back to sleep before too. I ain't eating healthy, no healthy habits here right now but I feel like I've been broken, my whole reality has changed in a MASSIVE way considering I had this little guy for 6 years and my schedule was strict.
 
Lilyalic I'm sorry to hear about Lui, the place where you buried him sounds lovely. As others have said- at least he isn't suffering anymore and you were there for him when he most needed it :hug2:
 
My condolences, Lilyac, on your loss of such a good friend. May he rest in peace and get ready for his next adventure. :hug:
 
I’m sorry to hear Lilyalic. That is a great loss. The place where you buried him sounds indeed lovely. May he rest in peace. Take care. {Hugs}
 
I just saw your last posts and I´m very sorry for what you´re going through right now. I had a grey parrot for nine years and I also know well how it hurts when the house feels too quiet all of a sudden. Try not to bother too much about which were the reasons of her health decay, my vet couldn´t figure either exactly what the real issue was with my parrot. Once you feel a little better, gratitude will inspire you for all the joy and company Lui has shared with you through all these years. :hug2:
 
I am really sorry fo your loss, my sincere condolences. Parrots are complicated animals, and there are just few vets who are experts in that sort of birds. Take care of yourself, accept the sorrow you are living now, it is part of the healing. It is hard, our friends when they go makes us cry, they leave us in a sort of void. But little by little this void will be full again. :hug2:
 
I've been reluctant to post in fear of judgement - Almost as if I believe my feelings are invalid because they're due to the death of my parrot.
I had a dream last night where Id' discovered how and why he died. I was walking through the streets crying - I went back to his cage (in the dream) to clear it & found a nest with eggs in that hadn't hatched yet. One was very large and the rest where normal "egg" size. They started hatching as I picked them up and many different coloured parrots starting appearing in the cage and around me. I woke up from the dream crying and moaning, and continued to cry for the next few minutes. This dream is partly what has shown me that my feelings/grief aren't invalid.

It's been a few months since he died, the longer that goes by the more I seem to invalidate my own grief in fear of noone understanding and seeing that others' parents and family members are dying. A colleague at my work; her dog died a few weeks back and she said it felt worse than when her Dad* died. Truth is, I still feel as though a huge amount of myself is missing (essentially a part of me has died) and I've realised more and more that I'd had a belief that Lui was my reason for existing. I felt a deep purpose being his carer, being responsible for him and his health. Not only that, I've never in my life not had some sort of pet - I was brought up with dogs, birds, cats etc.

I've tried to read as much as I can, but I have periods (a few days a month) where I literally have 0 motivation and I'll just feel sad, almost to the point of feeling depressed. I woke up the other week and seriously didn't want to get out of bed, I could have slept the entire day and that's not like me at all. In all honesty, I feel completely lost and I'm still friggin' sad, and perhaps I haven't grieved as much as I should when it initially happened but it would have swallowed me whole. It is probably combined with Christmas time, (first Christmas without him) and the whole sadness I usually get around Christmas time. My Mum has also tried to contact me and has rang my Work because she found that out so I know I'll have to deal with that eventually.

I don't think I've ever felt as useless and unmotivated as I do at the moment.

Edit: I'm not saying here that I'm incredibly suffering, I'm making it through everyday and my friends have told me how well I seem to have dealt with the grief and sometimes I'll feel guilty for how "great" I'm doing.
 
Lilyalic said:
I've been reluctant to post in fear of judgement - Almost as if I believe my feelings are invalid because they're due to the death of my parrot.
I had a dream last night where Id' discovered how and why he died. I was walking through the streets crying - I went back to his cage (in the dream) to clear it & found a nest with eggs in that hadn't hatched yet. One was very large and the rest where normal "egg" size. They started hatching as I picked them up and many different coloured parrots starting appearing in the cage and around me. I woke up from the dream crying and moaning, and continued to cry for the next few minutes. This dream is partly what has shown me that my feelings/grief aren't invalid.

It's been a few months since he died, the longer that goes by the more I seem to invalidate my own grief in fear of noone understanding and seeing that others' parents and family members are dying. A colleague at my work; her dog died a few weeks back and she said it felt worse than when her Dad* died. Truth is, I still feel as though a huge amount of myself is missing (essentially a part of me has died) and I've realised more and more that I'd had a belief that Lui was my reason for existing. I felt a deep purpose being his carer, being responsible for him and his health. Not only that, I've never in my life not had some sort of pet - I was brought up with dogs, birds, cats etc.
Click to expand...

I think it is normal to grieve the passing of a pet as if it was a family member, because sometimes they are to us. What I highlighted above however, seems to me to be an error in thinking/percetion of reality. Perhaps it feels as if a part of you died, because a part of you did, the part of you that it was Lui's carer, but there are certainly way more parts in you, that was just a small role you had, not your entire existence. I was reading just yesterday this very interesting SOTT article, Overview of the 'drama triangle' and the three faces of victimhood, and reading your post now I think it might help you discover where and how you learned to perceive yourself in such limiting parameters.

Another thought I had is that, though our relationships with our pets can be very enriching and they teach us so much as we take care of them and they take care of us, I wonder if sometimes we (and I am including myself in the "we", as I find myself very connected to my furry friends) give our care, affection and love more readily to our animal companions than people in our lives because it is not as scary or as complicated as trying to have this intimate relationship with other human beings. So in a way, out of all kinds of fears , we choose the way that would hurt the least (our pets won't reject us no matter what and who we are or how we behave) but at the same time, we are missing out on really connecting with the people in our lives, learning more about ourselves in the process and work on becoming the kind of person that other human beings want to connect with too. This is somehting I am wondering about myself recently, so I don't know if you can relate or I am just projecting, so, let me know :flowers:
 
Alana said:
I think it is normal to grieve the passing of a pet as if it was a family member, because sometimes they are to us. What I highlighted above however, seems to me to be an error in thinking/percetion of reality. Perhaps it feels as if a part of you died, because a part of you did, the part of you that it was Lui's carer, but there are certainly way more parts in you, that was just a small role you had, not your entire existence. I was reading just yesterday this very interesting SOTT article, Overview of the 'drama triangle' and the three faces of victimhood, and reading your post now I think it might help you discover where and how you learned to perceive yourself in such limiting parameters.

Another thought I had is that, though our relationships with our pets can be very enriching and they teach us so much as we take care of them and they take care of us, I wonder if sometimes we (and I am including myself in the "we", as I find myself very connected to my furry friends) give our care, affection and love more readily to our animal companions than people in our lives because it is not as scary or as complicated as trying to have this intimate relationship with other human beings. So in a way, out of all kinds of fears , we choose the way that would hurt the least (our pets won't reject us no matter what and who we are or how we behave) but at the same time, we are missing out on really connecting with the people in our lives, learning more about ourselves in the process and work on becoming the kind of person that other human beings want to connect with too. This is somehting I am wondering about myself recently, so I don't know if you can relate or I am just projecting, so, let me know :flowers:
Click to expand...

I know there are more parts, that's just how one "I" feels- and yes considering all I've found out over the few years I do use the victim role entirely, and that article rings true with me. I almost definitely rotate between the 3 roles in the triangle as mentioned in the article. I did mention to a friend that I felt totally useless now I have nothing to care for, to be the "rescuer" - I read over the Narcissistic books recently and old posts and refreshed myself in "putting others needs in front of my own" due to childhood programs. (This is also, of course, to feel needed and useful) I think I've played the Victim game for far too long now! Which is also why, it's hard for me to validate feelings etc because I'll think "I'm just creating drama, being the victim" etc because of what I've learnt, but I must not have ingrained it in the right way.

That is a very useful article Alana, many thanks for sharing this with me.

Your second paragraph, I can also relate to. It was always much easier for me to relate with animals growing up than it was with my family - which I why I ended up caring for animals so much. It's also a reason I've decided not to have a pet for a very, very long time until I discover myself in absence of a pet.

Thank you very much, Alana, your words have given me much food for thought and something else to focus on.
 
Lilyalic said:
I know there are more parts, that's just how one "I" feels- and yes considering all I've found out over the few years I do use the victim role entirely, and that article rings true with me. I almost definitely rotate between the 3 roles in the triangle as mentioned in the article. I did mention to a friend that I felt totally useless now I have nothing to care for, to be the "rescuer" - I read over the Narcissistic books recently and old posts and refreshed myself in "putting others needs in front of my own" due to childhood programs. (This is also, of course, to feel needed and useful) I think I've played the Victim game for far too long now! Which is also why, it's hard for me to validate feelings etc because I'll think "I'm just creating drama, being the victim" etc because of what I've learnt, but I must not have ingrained it in the right way.
Click to expand...

I think that if we are conscious of our feelings and validate them, we don't create drama. I think we create drama when we are running on unconscious feelings that cause thinking errors. So you can tell yourself, "I miss Luis, he was important to me, now I will spend time thinking about him and crying". I still might tear if I have memories of my pets that have died, but I don't feel like I need to cry for hours. If I did, I would ask myself, "what exactly am I feeling right now, and why do I feel like crying so much? Is it just for the loss of my pet?" And then I'll try to figure out what's going on. And this is where networking helps, because by telling someone how you feel, here on the forum or in your life, and that you are not sure where it stems from, they could offer some pointers to help you figure it out, especially if it is people who know you well. And as long as you are honest with yourself and others about how you really feel, the possibility for drama diminishes significantly I think. Well, the article I linked above says it better than I can ever try, especially this part:

Living in reality requires truth. To tell the truth, we first must first know what it is. When we react out of denied feelings and unconscious programming, we cannot possibly know our personal truth. This means we will not be in touch with reality. There will be hidden agendas and dishonesty. This is another primary trait of all players on the triangle. Only by knowing our truth, can we begin to speak from a place of personal integrity. Then exiting the triangle becomes possible.
Click to expand...

And it is possible that in your case you didn't mourn all you wanted for Luis because you thought you shouldn't, or it wasn't appropriate, or "he is just a bird" people might have said to you. And it is the holiday season, and your mom is looking for you, so there might be a combination of conscious and unconscious reasons that make you feel "down" around this time too. So take care of you, and take it a day at a time.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom