Can't grow where I am planted

W

Wodnik

Jedi
Yes, I can't grow where I am planted
Left home a while ago ( couldn't find myself there, came here , moved back to Europe, lived in Asia and came back to a place, I could called home .
Over a year ago had a session with theta healing practitioner a few months after my fathering -law passed away ( I lost my father when I was 13, and after his death I buried deep down lots of emotions which she brought up on a surface . I was emotionally devastated, and started grieving in double doses .
As a psychic , she also told me that she can see me living back in Germany - and that statement was the beginning of my problems : not being able to grow where I am now.
I can 't find myself here ( Feel as part of me has died, or someone would say it was a painful awaking).

Can anyone give me some advise ??
 
Wodnik said:
Yes, I can't grow where I am planted
Left home a while ago ( couldn't find myself there, came here , moved back to Europe, lived in Asia and came back to a place, I could called home .
Over a year ago had a session with theta healing practitioner a few months after my fathering -law passed away ( I lost my father when I was 13, and after his death I buried deep down lots of emotions which she brought up on a surface . I was emotionally devastated, and started grieving in double doses .
As a psychic , she also told me that she can see me living back in Germany - and that statement was the beginning of my problems : not being able to grow where I am now.
I can 't find myself here ( Feel as part of me has died, or someone would say it was a painful awaking).

Can anyone give me some advise ??
Click to expand...

Hi Wodnik,

I don’t know that I have any specific advice to offer, there’s no really enough data in what you have written above to make any useful comment.

Where would you rather be though, and what would you like to be doing, if not where and what you have before you now?
 
Hello Wodnik,

You gave some information about Your current emotional condition.

You have not said too much about concrete things.

You say that You cannot grow where You are planted. What does it mean in practical real life terms to You?


Other thing You said is that Your problem started after You realized what the Psychic lady had said that she had seen You living in Germany.

Does that mean that she saw You living in Germany long time ago, now or in the future?

Why do You think that this is important to You now?


Also when You are sharing here Your problem I would like to ask You also more about:
1. What is Your diet?
2. Are You practicing EE?


If Your emotion of grievance is still very strong maybe You could deal with that first and issues she is bringing to You and then consider Your place?
 
It seems that the problem is lack of creative potential. Each place you'll decide going to you'll take yourself and the same luggage. The first thing you might do is a definition of what is a grow for you. In the beginning it can be a small thing you should do which will push you to next step. Just moving, do what is unusual for you, walk different roads and research what you see.
 
Wodnik said:
Yes, I can't grow where I am planted
Left home a while ago ( couldn't find myself there, came here , moved back to Europe, lived in Asia and came back to a place, I could called home .
Over a year ago had a session with theta healing practitioner a few months after my fathering -law passed away ( I lost my father when I was 13, and after his death I buried deep down lots of emotions which she brought up on a surface . I was emotionally devastated, and started grieving in double doses .
As a psychic , she also told me that she can see me living back in Germany - and that statement was the beginning of my problems : not being able to grow where I am now.
I can 't find myself here ( Feel as part of me has died, or someone would say it was a painful awaking).

Can anyone give me some advise ??
Click to expand...

Hi Wodnik,

From your short description of the situation it's rather difficult to spot the exact problem. Could you please elaborate it a bit for us to better understand and possibly help you with advice?

When you say that you can't find yourself where you are, what exactly do you mean? Is it the place itself that disappoints you somehow or is it your emotional state that remains the same low wherever you go? Because if it's the place that brings you down then certainly it's worth moving somewhere else. But if it's your internal suffering then it's a different story. Maybe it's because you can't yet overcome the strong emotional pain of losing a dear person and this feeling prevents you from enjoying the positive events in your life no matter where you go?

Or is it the feeling of loneliness maybe? Because it often happens that when a person comes to settle in a new area, he/she usually feels rather lonely at first: the place seems cold and foreign, with not many friends yet. This feeling is familiar to me as i also resettled a couple of times in my life from one city to another. But usually such feeling gradually fades away as you start discovering new interesting attractions of the area and meeting good people to communicate with.

Hope my questions help a bit, take good care Wodnik.
 
I was thinking something similar to what s-kur wrote...but to add to what’s said already...

Maybe the narrative is healing, rather than growing, a distinction for ones own expectation, and expectation is strange thing, what is it, is it even real, when some things are unknown, and expectation is a type of imagining.

And maybe it’s simply ok to feel as you do, maybe very normal, if considered rightly.

And maybe one expects things to change fast, when in reality some things by their nature take as long as they take, as long as you do, to mourn/heal/understand/process... just be kind to yourself, a little balance, and find out what that is.

Maybe regarding reading material, the book the adaptive unconscious might help, but others here know better, maybe they chime in with something more suitable... ‘redirect’ perhaps... and maybe a little professional help, other than psychic that might not be firing on all cylinders, when it’s ones own that you need to get working, and this responsibility is all yours, people can see one as what ever or doing this or that, should one believe it, or should one start, working and taking charge of that for ones own life. a striving to live maybe in the present and finding out what that is.

FWIW my two cents... hope it its helps a bit
 
You stated twice that you can't find yourself, Wodnik. The advice so far is very good.

Is the feeling more like this physical experience is all mixed up and makes no sense or is it more related to how you manage day to day life skills? There are likely more reasons based on you and what your choices are. Every day all there seems to be is a never ending path of choices.

Would moving improve your situation, would it stay the same or would it get worse? Only you can answer that.
 
Psychics often make mistakes, you yourself the best you can feel whether you are happy or not.
From what you write you are not.
Do you really need again to change the city, country or even continent?
No, you change yourself and your perception of loss of loved ones because of these losses will be even more.
The circle always continues, and you just can his or other will adjust and continue to participate in it.
Home is where the heart is, my advice would be to discover what do you want with your life.Psychics often make mistakes, you yourself the best you can feel whether you are happy or not.
From what you write you are not.
Do you really need again to change the city, country or even continent?
No, you change yourself and your perception of loss of loved ones because of these losses will be even more.
Home is where the heart is, my advice would be to discover what do you want with your life.
 
Hello Wodnik, grief is a hard thing, and only you will know when you are over it.
I've lost my mother, as have many on the forum, and the loss leaves a hole in my life that can never be filled. Your loss may be similar.
I've also lost my father, my brother, and my best friend. (You lose more as you get older)
And yet, we who are living must move forward in our lives.

For us to become mature, we must accept what has happened in our lives.
We cannot change the past. There is only today.
We must forgive ourselves, and others, to heal our own psyche.
We must choose to be happy, if we are to be happy.

The choice is yours to make.
Once you make that choice, you will be able to bloom where you are planted.
 
my apologies for my message been so cryptic. I grew up with an alcoholic, violent father ( and I remember, how my mum during " domestic storms" packed us and took us all to her sister),so as a child I never experienced healthy family life.
From early age, perhaps from 9 or 10, my sister and I lived with aunty, but dad died when I was 13, and aunt's only son, when I was 18.
I couldn't find myself living in PL ( had a few session SRT with Patrick, and he told me, that a reason i couldn't find myself there, because of losses and luck of healthy home's environment).
when my twin brother got killed at age 24, I decided to get out of there,and came to Oz ( i won't go into too much details how difficult my existence have been even here, but mum passed away few years after I left and I couldn't attend her funeral).

Got married and was so so happy to have "normal"family,not knowing how wrong I am going to be.My sister-in-law made our life so difficult that we moved to Europe for 4 years. During that time I met a boyfriend of my ex- teacher's daughter, who was one of the best psychic in PL ( hahaha!!).
I don't know about his work ethics,but at one of first "session" he told me things which I didn't ask for ( against my free will), and he brain washed me over 7 years I knew him.
Before we met, gaining knowledge by reading and wanting to find "the truth" was really my existence.Mixing up with crowd wasn't my cup of tea.I was mentally independent,kind of person "never give up",but that psychopath over the years have changed that to the point that I couldn't make a decision without ringing him and ask.
I lived in Asia for a year, and it was kind of stop over on the way back to Oz,and was really happy to come back home.
2 years ago I lost my father-in-law and attended free theta healing session where students who just completed 3 weeks course would practice on "guinea pigs".
I was selected by one of females.She was also a psychic and the first thing she told me was, that my family members ( you could say a whole family ) are around me( I missed them so much),and that she sees me living back in Germany.
I didn't ask any follow up question, but organized over the phone session ( not free !!) with her to talk about my family, and that was ONLY thing i wanted to talk about.
unfortunately she guided that session into feeling : how did I feel when my father passed away ( to that point i didn't know that I compressed so much emotions ). I started crying, and was kind of hysterical grieving,and can't get over it.
For over 18 months I can't ground or find myself here ( not even wanting to be around).

hope this can help everyone to understand my situation, and I will be grateful for any feedback.:)
 
Wodnik,

I am sorry for the hard path that you have been given in life. I believe we all have our hardships in life, but yours seems harder than most. I also dealt with alcohol abuse in home as a child, but with my mother. She would call me all sorts of names, and my great fear was that they would be true.
The life altering time for me, a time when I was able to heal, was when I moved to Sandpoint, ID, USA and did a program called the Wilderness Immersion Program. While I am not saying that it is what you need to do, or what you should do, it is what I ended up doing- following my heart blindly- and led my to exactly where I needed to be. The program used nature- based mentoring for our transformations (there were 5 of us). Because nature is ultimately our greatest teacher.
And so, if there was any advice that I could give you- based on my personal experience- it would be that your heart will lead you to where you are supposed to be- no one can tell you. Your heart is your personal psychic that knows you better than anything or anyone does.
If this sounds like something that you are open to, I would say find a nice spot in nature some where (preferable not a city park, but true wilderness with minimal human sounds) and just open your senses. It's called sense meditation. Use your senses individually (sight, hearing, smell, taste, and touch) and try to clear your mind of any thoughts. What can you see? What is around you? What do you hear? Where's the nearest bird? The nearest stream? What does the air smell like? Can you smell an animal? What do you smell like? What is the wind carrying to your nose? What does the air taste like? Humid or dry? Like rain? Like a storm? What does the ground next to you feel like? The bark on the nearest tree? The grass beneath you? The plant by your side? Your clothes, what do those feel like?

This is one of the most healing things I have ever done, and continue to do. Nature is our best friend, our ultimate provider, our ultimate nurturer. It always gives us what we need, and shows us through signs, as long as you are open to them.

Best Wishes on your journey!
Please let me know if you choose to do this, if you have questions, and ultimately what it's like after a couple of times! I would love to hear some feedback on your experience.
May this bring you healing and peace.
 
Wodnik you had a painful past, but I can't see a definite reason why you attribute your current "discomfort" to the place you live and I don't even understand what your discomfort is.
I want to ask you: where are your confidence or "addition" to psychic readings have brought you to? Why do you think they are reliable?
You will draw your problems with you at any place you go until you solve them. The mainly problem is not the place but who are you and what you see.
Did you tried to explore your childhood issues with a therapist?
 
hi,i don't know how can i comfort you,anyway,everyone has son past happy or painful,it has gone
have a good day :)
 
As a child, you can not say no, but as an adult you have to know it.
We all lost a dear person (I personally do not know of all the graves of friends) but peasant from one place to another is not a solution.
Therapists can help you only if you want it, find someone good and start all over again.

All the answers lie within you, do not let someone else decide for you, suggestions are always welcome, but in the end you are the person who has to say OK, we're going to work on it to get up from the ashes.
 
It's terrible that was taking me such a incredible long time to post another message on this topic.

Last year and half has been a very challenging for me ( I wish, I didn't ignore all post signs, sent by Universe, but I did, and I payed for it)
Deep inside I knew that I have to find help, and clean up this mess.

6 months ago I had first session with Patrick (SRT) and ended up having 3 .
Each time we worked on unresolved energy from my past life, which I brought into the current life ( Heather with Patrick had explained to me why my life has been full of pain, loses and suffering), so every session I had, it helped me on an energetic level, but I still felt "stuck", and not able to grow where I am plannnted .

2 weeks ago, I decided to have another session, but with Heather only.
What I have found so far, that all the previous one worked for me, but only for a short period time ,perhaps for a day o two, and after that, I started shacking inside, as I have been for last 1.5 years.
This time was different.
What Heather has done this time, she "bungle" all energy of my family I have lost: both parents, twin brother, cousin and aunt, which were present around my spine, into one big "ball"
During that healing session I felt calm, peaceful and grounded.
As I wrote to Heather : I feel being myself again,my mind, body and soul were craving for that feeling for so long .
 
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