Changes

[abstract]

I'll try not to make this too long. (god i just hate long posts)

Anyway, my situation currently is that I am considering moving in with my brother in law and my sister.

I feel like it'd be a good idea at least for the time being, especially when my predator keeps saying

specifically not to bring it up. My reasoning for this is that living by myself I feel a bit stressed.

I am concerned about the future. I feel like i have no time to think about career, either that or I am too

concerned with some other stuff that gets in the way of that.

I'm a little worried about money, i've barely been able to save a dime lately living paycheck to paycheck and having gotten

a job right as i was pretty much broke, save the money my parents generously provided.

So i'm thinking it may be a good idea, not for too long though, to move in with my brother in law and sister.

I don't even have car insurance right now...it's a long story about how my life got in such a mess.

But anyway, they are okay with it as long as i follow their stipulations, which are simple and i can deal with them.

My sister actually has a lot of the same dietary concerns as i do, and i'll be gone a lot at night because of work

so if they need time by themselves they will still get it. I feel like I can get along with them well enough and i'm so

quiet they will hardly notice i'm there. I even offered to pay them a monthly fee, since i'm not a free loader.

I mean, i WISH i could keep living on my own but it just feels kinda overwhelming lately...and I feel like

this is an opportunity to (as anart and others have suggested) to be gentle with myself.

I also feel like if i take some of the stress off my shoulders I can start to get a handle on what I wanna do

for a career, assuming we're around long enough. I feel like this might be the right decision because

my predator is saying "no, no, no, don't do that, you're just fine by yourself, you can deal with it".

Trying to fool me into isolating myself like usual.

Sooooooo whaddya guys think? Am a making the right choice or is this just another dumbass move??

My dad...much as i dislike him, said something that will always stay with me: "Are you running FROM something, or TO something?"

I feel like this decision is running TO something...when I first moved out...I was running FROM something.

 

[mkrnhr]

Hi abstract,
Do you think it is a positive thing to live with your sister and brother in law? How do you feel it? Is it like going on vacation? Or do you expect to loose some of your liberty?
The thing is not to take definitive choices, that's suffocating. Always take things as temporary solutions, nothing definitive, nothing yo last "for ever". If you feel better it's okay, and if it is worst, you can always go back and live as you do now. It will be an interresting experience at least.

 

[Turgon]

Seems like a good idea if living on your own is difficult for you right now. Living paycheque to paycheque isn't a safe place to be financially, especially if unexpected expenses arise. ;)

If you need help and don't want to isolate yourself, coupled with their willingness to help you out then it seems like a good decision to me.

They have certain 'rules' or living arrangements that you say you can abide by, and you are willing to offer to help pay for living expenses, so ...

But anyway, they are okay with it as long as i follow their stipulations, which are simple and i can deal with them.

My sister actually has a lot of the same dietary concerns as i do, and i'll be gone a lot at night because of work

so if they need time by themselves they will still get it. I feel like I can get along with them well enough and i'm so

quiet they will hardly notice i'm there. I even offered to pay them a monthly fee, since i'm not a free loader.

 

[abstract]

Do you think it is a positive thing to live with your sister and brother in law? How do you feel it?

I feel it is posotive in the sense that it will take financial strain off me while i try to figure things out. Also

my brother in law is a very supportive, positive person...he's been a huge help to me emotionally, like you guys are.

Is it like going on vacation? Or do you expect to loose some of your liberty?

It will feel like vacation in the sense that it will be refreshing to have somewhat new surroundings and be able to

worry about SOMETHING besides paying the rent and calling the friggin maintenence guy 'cause somethin' broke.

They understand I need to do my own thing.

Always take things as temporary solutions, nothing definitive, nothing yo last "for ever".

This is absolutely a temporary solution because i'm not planning on living with them for any more than a year maximum, because my sister wants to have kids and will need the spare room.

 

[mkrnhr]

It seems you have chosen to give it a try and have some interresting times then ;)

 

[abstract]

seems you have chosen to give it a try and have some interresting times then

Well...i just wanted to make sure I wasn't making a misguided decision so i just had to network about it first, before I
decided.

My predator is going nuts over this one. That's how I know it's a good choice.

The 4Dsts don't want my life to get easier, because the harder my life is the more likely i'll screw something up!
That's exactly what they want, isn't it? They want my life to be hard as hell so I can never get anywhere
because I can't climb out of the hole that i'm in. They certainly don't like it when i'm actually in a position
to be in control of my life, and this is a chance to get outta the hole, remember what's above ground, and
look forward to the rest of my life. This is a chance to chill out for a while, get in touch with myself more, etc.
My centers seem to vibrate in agreement with this decision...if that makes any goddang sense at all.

 

[abstract]

And ya know what else?

This is going to be a BIG, BIG chance to boost my health.

The money I will save with the expenses I won't be paying could be better spent on good food and supplements.

Like, really start putting more energy into getting super-healthy because i'm gonna need to be in top condition

when I finally decide to launch into the next phase of my life. I need a clear, calm mind. I need to once and for all

quit consuming sugar...it's basically the last thing to go. I've been able to quit a lot of foods that were bad simply

because the thought of consuming those chemicals is disgusting, but sugar is the tough one. I find it physiologically

addictive, and if i take some stress off myself I won't crave sugar as much, because it is really just throwing me out of

balance and I can tell a difference from that week a while back when I cut way down on sugar, and it felt awesome.

I feel like this one simple change (sis and bro in law live a mile away) will open some options up to me, instead of

being closed off.

 

[anart]

I think it's a good idea and definitely worth a try. It might give you just a little breathing space for a while. The worst thing that can happen is it doesn't work, and you move out again!

 

[RyanX]

abstract,

I'm kind of in the opposite situation. I'm considering the idea of getting a roommate to relieve some of the financial burden I'm under. You seem like somebody I could get along with, at least we're on the same page when it comes to food and smoking! :)

It sounds like moving in with your sister is an all around good move for you. Like anart said, if it doesn't work you can always move back out on your own and things would be no different than before.

 

[Gawan]

Hi abstract,

one question came to my mind when reading your post, when you are moving to your sister and brother you are not in a position of owe them something, that means that you are not: the odd one out?

 

[abstract]

one question came to my mind when reading your post, when you are moving to your sister and brother you are not in a position of owe them something, that means that you are not: the odd one out?

I apologize that I don't really understand the question. Would you clarify? :)

 

[Gawan]

one question came to my mind when reading your post, when you are moving to your sister and brother you are not in a position of owe them something, that means that you are not: the odd one out?

I apologize that I don't really understand the question. Would you clarify? :)

I had already the fear if my question is understandable. But alas, at the moment I can't get my question straight enough.

 

[Chu]

one question came to my mind when reading your post, when you are moving to your sister and brother you are not in a position of owe them something, that means that you are not: the odd one out?

I apologize that I don't really understand the question. Would you clarify? :)

I had already the fear if my question is understandable. But alas, at the moment I can't get my question straight enough.

Did you mean to advice abstract to be careful of being in a position where he feels that he owes them something, and therefore, has to comply to their rules, or can easily be kicked out of the house, or feel pressured to give more to them as a form of payment? That's how I understood it at least.

Abstract, I think your decision is correct, as long as you keep your eyes open, really use this time to recover and get your health straight, and keep looking for doors that may open. Remember that "we receive from life what we give to life". ;)

 

[Gawan]

Did you mean to advice abstract to be careful of being in a position where he feels that he owes them something, and therefore, has to comply to their rules, or can easily be kicked out of the house, or feel pressured to give more to them as a form of payment? That's how I understood it at least.

Thank you Ailen! That abstract is not in a position that he has to feel bad, when he is moving to his siblings.

 

[Enny]

Good day Abstract.

The move sounds like a good idea as it will allow you to free up some energy to focus on other aspects of your life to build on.

So i'm thinking it may be a good idea, not for too long though, to move in with my brother in law and sister.

One thing you may want to keep an eye out for any stress that may arise if you (or your brother in law and sister) feel like your staying "too long". Ensure there is open communication and comfortableness between all parties involved. Also it may be a good idea to keep them informed of your progress and/or conflicts that you encounter as you work on getting back out on your own.

Those two suggestion came to my mind because of the old cliche of either your brother in law and/or sister becomes uncomfortable but don't want to say anything because of family ties. The part about you being informative came in because you said:

...it's a long story about how my life got in such a mess.

I have no idea how they view you (and I apologize in advance if I'm way off here) but people often view an individual by how they are now as well as their past with a touch of "he said, she said". It just seems like it may be a good idea to let them know that you are making a valiant effort and welcome any suggestions they may have in order to help you just in case they (as well as your SOTT associates ;))can provide an angle that you may not have viewed.