EmeraldR
The Living Force
some of these add ons do the job fine for me -I use firefox but am sure theyre avaiable on other browsers ;)
Channel disruption and a dream message
- Thread starter hoosiermystic
- Start date
Haldeman
The Force is Strong With This One
I got a lot of interference in dreams last night - the feeling of being physically molested during sleep paralysis and implanted (maybe?) dreams of suicidal ideation. I woke up so angry, lonely, and confused, and it's taken me half the day to remember myself. Plus, our plumbing has broken down and we got a big bill today! Is this the forces acting tenfold on me? Or am I just in a bad state?
These kinds of things have always been a little nebulous for me, as in the distinction between typical/normal difficulties happening in my life and "the forces that caused him to fall asleep" acting upon me. Some experiences are dramatic or a-typical enough that I can reliably say they were caused by "the forces", but many others are hard to distinguish. What you described could be caused by said forces, but I'm not sure how to tell exactly. Either way, said "forces" can come from within (parts and programs) and without (antagonistic, STS forces). Outside forces can also seem to ignite or stir-up our parts and programs.
From my own experiences of spontaneous encounters of Self, or of the experience of Self that comes from steady work, there does generally seem to follow an extra helping of difficult psychological weather or difficult life situations. The encounter with Self seems to spark a reaction. There's the experience (I'm curious if others have had this) where the more I "wake up" the more loudly and chaotic the parts and programs seem, and so its not as if waking up makes things easier at all necessarily. In that sense, being deeper asleep was easier and more peaceful. This is what I most typically associate in my own life with "the forces that caused [me] to fall asleep" acting upon me-- the parts and programs really start acting up. Otherwise there have been some handfuls of experience of forces acting from "outside"-- sleep paralysis where I physically feel something creeping up the foot of the bed towards me, sudden prolonged "electrical" pain and vibration in my body, sudden drops in vitality and mental clarity, multiple things in the house or car breaking or malfunctioning at the same time, etc.
hoosiermystic
The Force is Strong With This One
I might have one of those! Lemme dig through my box of cables.
I think that’s a natural progression of awakening the Self or becoming more conscious of our inner workings, the ‘system’ cracks its whip on us to put us back in our place of slumber by causing all kinds of chaotic disruptions that try to make us stop what we are doing.
I experienced it twice with vengeance last year, I took a short break from seeking in between the ‘episodes’ because it really seemed like if I didn’t slow down the ‘thing’ would completely drain me and the Work I am doing would backfire as not only was I falling apart but everything in and around me was crumbling and changing at such a rapid pace that I couldn’t hold all the strings together, nor could I let them go- a huge fear of being out of control and losing myself- the exact thing I am seeking.
I am working on childhood programming and trauma. Right now I’m in another break before I recommence, and just as you say, when I’m not seeking life is calm and pretty sweet, not much is bothering me. I’ve become aware of the fact that when I do dive back into the search the beast will reappear to cause chaos in my life. It really does feel like this down time is necessary to fuel myself for the next onslaught, I hope to get better at dodging the bullets but I’m sure I’ll take a few hits. It’s worth it though.
My gripe about the ease of listening to these meditations is the lack of headphone jacks on phones now!I guess my aversion to Bluetooth devices is a bit antiquated.
No, it's a very good gripe! If I recall correctly, bluetooth frequencies are some of the more damaging waves out there, worse that WiFi and normal cellular signals.
Ruth
The Living Force
Stop 'jacking in' to 'their' (sts) system? Perhaps your Higher Self will give you the answer on the best way forward?
There are, afterall many ways to grow, learn and develop as a human being, particularly if you want to make more STO aligned decisions, or even be more aware of what it is and how it works.
Maybe what your Higher Self is trying to tell you is you need to look at other areas to study, going forward? It is possible to become unbalanced by focusing too much on one area at the detriment of something else.
