Let’s Dissect Andrew Kolvet’s “Miracle” StatementAndrew Kolvet, a Turning Point USA media handler, released a statement that reads like it was written by a crisis PR firm scrambling to patch up a failing narrative.
Let’s break it down, line by line:
1. “I’m usually not interested in delving into online chatter…”
Translation: “I don’t usually respond to conspiracy drivel… but let me make an exception this time.”This is the classic defensive opener: discredit public speculation while subtly signaling moral authority — as if his involvement should automatically be trusted.
2. “I just spoke with the surgeon who worked on Charlie in the hospital…”
Problem: Charlie died instantly from a gunshot wound that caused decerebrate posturing, massive arterial bleeding, and catastrophic CNS trauma.
Let’s be clear: he wasn’t “worked on”. He was dead on arrival — if not at the scene, then certainly before any meaningful medical intervention. Unless Kolvet thinks surgeons perform autopsies, this claim is either fabricated or a willful misuse of medical terminology to sell emotional closure.
3. “The bullet should’ve gone through… it would’ve killed a moose… but it didn’t…
”This is the “trust me bro” forensic analysis from someone with no background in terminal ballistics, gunshot trauma, or even basic anatomy. If the bullet lodged beneath the skin, that suggests low velocity, deflection, or inconsistency in caliber used — none of which support the idea of a clean high-powered rifle kill. Also: where’s the actual ballistics report?
4. “His bones were so strong, like the man of steel.”
Now we’re just fully in the realm of myth-making. Turning a human corpse into Superman doesn’t just defy science — it tells you exactly what this is: A psychological operation meant to close the book on forensic doubt and redirect the public into emotional worship of the martyr.
5. “Even in death, Charlie managed to save others. Remarkable. Miraculous.”
This is narrative closure layered on top of miracle-language. In legal or psychological terms, this is called “preemptive emotional closure” — used to block further questioning by dressing tragedy in divine finality.
When a known TPUSA employee uses miracle-language, contradictory medical claims, and a triple “trust me” format — all without forensic transparency — it’s not just cringe. It’s coordinated damage control. The truth doesn’t require miracles. It leaves evidence.