Don Genaro
Jedi Council Member
Note: This post started as a comment on a SOTT article but has ended up being a "getting some stuff off my chest and asking for parental advice in a non-collinear relationship" post so if you feel it doesn't belong in this section please move it!
This article caught my attention:
http://www.sott.net/articles/show/222026-Cinderella-Ate-My-Daughter-
As a father of a three-and-a-half year old girl, I worry constantly about the increased sexualisation of children thanks to modern marketing methods. It's sad to see Tina Wells from "Buzz Marketing" talking so enthusiastically with a smile admitting that it's a HUGE business: "What we aim to do every day is inspire or evoke some kind of emotion or create a demand for a product or service that we hope is enjoyed by the consumer"
However the comment that most got my attention was when the author of the book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" (brilliant title!) near the end of the video is asked what we can do to protect our daughters. She simply replies "Lock them in a tower!" The response is laughter but, I immediately thought of Rapunzel and the necessity of "locking up" our small children to protect them. I've thought I might ask here if anyone has any book recommendations which discuss fairy tales and their meanings for adults- I want to better understand the stories I tell my daughter. I already have ordered some books that may help- books which I've seen discussed here such as "Evolution's End: Claiming the Potential of Our Intelligence" by Joseph Chilton Pearce and "The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters" by Michael Gurian as well as one I haven't seen here: Robert Bly's "The Sibling Society: The Culture of Half Adults". (I read and really enjoyed "Iron John" years ago). Any "fairy tale specific" book recommendations are welcome though.
I'm separated from my daughter's mother and have been for two years now although for financial reasons we've had to continue living together. I am due to move out in the next couple of weeks and the thing that worries me most is the psychological welfare of my daughter. To clarify: Her mother is great in the traditional sense and is very concerned for her welfare- in a mainstream sense. The part that worries me is that she (my ex) watches a lot of television- as soon as she arrives home the telly goes on and from what I now know that is very dangerous for my daughter's development. Not just the watching television part but the fact that my daughter sees this as normal. This is where the problem arises. Like I said, she's a great "mainstream mom" but recognising the dangers of television is one of those things that she would consider one of my "obsessive ideas" i.e. anything I read about or discuss that she "doesn't want to know about". Diet and gluten is another no-go area. I guess it's obvious that in FULLY recognising the dangers of television she would have to accept how evil her own "preferred form of relaxation is". I'm not saying that my daughter watches television 24/7, rather that there's a huge difference between her mother's way of seeing the world and mine and unfortunately I don't get much say. Anytime I talk about psychology and children there is never really any discussion. My ex studied psychology for a year in university and "knows so much more than I do". It's not even that she says this but rather the impression I get when I try to initiate a discussion, i.e. I will mention something, for example the dangers of television and she will answer with a "but". I usually find if I try to take a discussion further I meet with huge resistance and an argument ensues so I just tend to avoid conversations of such nature with her. Anyway, to give a concrete example of this kind of thing in everyday life- we were recently all together, my daughter, her mother, grandmother and I on a Sunday evening. There was a comedy show on which I used to find very funny but it just doesn't make me laugh anymore. It's your typical "working class neighbourhood type comedy" with a lot of adult language. Mother and grandmother were watching it and my daughter was playing with her dolls. I made the comment that the programme really wasn't suitable for children and I was greeted by two blank hypnotic stares. End of discussion.
One good thing that has happened recently is that for the last year or two my daughter wouldn't go to sleep without the telly (not television but DVDs of Winnie the Pooh or Dora the Explorer etc). However, now that she is older and better able to understand stories I have taken to telling her bedtime stories. One with the lights on and the book, and one with the lights off. By the end of the second story or very shortly afterwards she is fast asleep. She hasn't asked for the telly in about a month now. It's so gratifying!
This article caught my attention:
http://www.sott.net/articles/show/222026-Cinderella-Ate-My-Daughter-
As a father of a three-and-a-half year old girl, I worry constantly about the increased sexualisation of children thanks to modern marketing methods. It's sad to see Tina Wells from "Buzz Marketing" talking so enthusiastically with a smile admitting that it's a HUGE business: "What we aim to do every day is inspire or evoke some kind of emotion or create a demand for a product or service that we hope is enjoyed by the consumer"
However the comment that most got my attention was when the author of the book "Cinderella Ate My Daughter" (brilliant title!) near the end of the video is asked what we can do to protect our daughters. She simply replies "Lock them in a tower!" The response is laughter but, I immediately thought of Rapunzel and the necessity of "locking up" our small children to protect them. I've thought I might ask here if anyone has any book recommendations which discuss fairy tales and their meanings for adults- I want to better understand the stories I tell my daughter. I already have ordered some books that may help- books which I've seen discussed here such as "Evolution's End: Claiming the Potential of Our Intelligence" by Joseph Chilton Pearce and "The Wonder of Girls: Understanding the Hidden Nature of Our Daughters" by Michael Gurian as well as one I haven't seen here: Robert Bly's "The Sibling Society: The Culture of Half Adults". (I read and really enjoyed "Iron John" years ago). Any "fairy tale specific" book recommendations are welcome though.
I'm separated from my daughter's mother and have been for two years now although for financial reasons we've had to continue living together. I am due to move out in the next couple of weeks and the thing that worries me most is the psychological welfare of my daughter. To clarify: Her mother is great in the traditional sense and is very concerned for her welfare- in a mainstream sense. The part that worries me is that she (my ex) watches a lot of television- as soon as she arrives home the telly goes on and from what I now know that is very dangerous for my daughter's development. Not just the watching television part but the fact that my daughter sees this as normal. This is where the problem arises. Like I said, she's a great "mainstream mom" but recognising the dangers of television is one of those things that she would consider one of my "obsessive ideas" i.e. anything I read about or discuss that she "doesn't want to know about". Diet and gluten is another no-go area. I guess it's obvious that in FULLY recognising the dangers of television she would have to accept how evil her own "preferred form of relaxation is". I'm not saying that my daughter watches television 24/7, rather that there's a huge difference between her mother's way of seeing the world and mine and unfortunately I don't get much say. Anytime I talk about psychology and children there is never really any discussion. My ex studied psychology for a year in university and "knows so much more than I do". It's not even that she says this but rather the impression I get when I try to initiate a discussion, i.e. I will mention something, for example the dangers of television and she will answer with a "but". I usually find if I try to take a discussion further I meet with huge resistance and an argument ensues so I just tend to avoid conversations of such nature with her. Anyway, to give a concrete example of this kind of thing in everyday life- we were recently all together, my daughter, her mother, grandmother and I on a Sunday evening. There was a comedy show on which I used to find very funny but it just doesn't make me laugh anymore. It's your typical "working class neighbourhood type comedy" with a lot of adult language. Mother and grandmother were watching it and my daughter was playing with her dolls. I made the comment that the programme really wasn't suitable for children and I was greeted by two blank hypnotic stares. End of discussion.
One good thing that has happened recently is that for the last year or two my daughter wouldn't go to sleep without the telly (not television but DVDs of Winnie the Pooh or Dora the Explorer etc). However, now that she is older and better able to understand stories I have taken to telling her bedtime stories. One with the lights on and the book, and one with the lights off. By the end of the second story or very shortly afterwards she is fast asleep. She hasn't asked for the telly in about a month now. It's so gratifying!
