COINTELPRO on the WWW - How it works, various examples

Argonaut

Jedi Master
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

The two that really surprised me were "1. Winning by Losing" and "6. Hotel California Guest," because I didn't realize they were so typically done on other forums. Especially this part:

Sometimes they demand to be banned or have their account deleted because this is a way of talking like you are done with the site without actually having to stop posting and give up the last word.

How many times have we seen that one? :lol:
 

Laura

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques


It would be nice if one of ya'll would transcribe this off the image files and, with full credit to "Cracked", we can have it on file for members and moderators to refer to.

There is also this:

The 8 Most Obnoxious Internet Commenters
By Toby Francis Sep 03, 2008

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_16605_8-most-obnoxious-internet-commenters.html#ixzz0xnBUO29V


6 New Personality Disorders Caused by the Internet
By Jonathan Kimak Jun 30, 2009

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_17522_6-new-personality-disorders-caused-by-internet.html#ixzz0xnC1nq2e


I think all of these should go in our list of articles for newbies to read.
 

vinny

The Living Force
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

solid gold :lol:

here's a transcript:

Cracked.com said:
1. Winning By Losing

However badly you have disproven or embarrassed this person, it turns out it was all a part of their master plan to get that reaction out of you, to prove some kind of point they can't seem to explain. They honestly seem to think that despite flailing uselessly in making their original argument, they are smooth enough to convince people they are a master puppeteer pulling everyone's strings.

example said:
HAHA what u dont seem to realise is that it was my plan all along to manipolate u all into photoping my onto onto rosie o'donall and u palyed rite into my hands. u were all pawns in my little social expierment.

2. The Pity Riposte

When someone starts throwing out words like "droll" and "pathetic" and "amused" and generally triying to talk like a wealthy Bond villain, he comes across less like the confident, cigar-smoking fellow he is imagining and more like a man who has been pantsed attempting to convince clothed people that they are the ones that should feel foolish.

example said:
Ah, how terribly droll to see you poor, sad wretches blithering about how "sad" and "pathetic" I must be to posrt my horse porn epic poem on your precious forum. I chuckle at the irony of you sitting in your parents' basements with nothing to do with your time but argue on the internet. Anyway, to continue with my 100-point rebuttal:....

3. The Backtrack

If you can't unsay something you just realised is horribly wrong, the next best thing is to claim you never said it. This is an extremely ballsy maneuver on a forum without an edit function, and usually forces reliance on the old, "Oh , you just misinterpretted what I said" maneuver.

example said:
... by that of course I didn't mean that Tolkein LITERALLY wrote Harry Potter, because OF COURSE everyone knows J.K. Rowling wrote those books. I just used him to symbolise authors in general. And of course I know he died in 1972. I was speaking metaphorically about how his spirit must have been upset about the Gulf War and gone back in time to tell him to encode messages in his books that would later in spire J.K. Rowling to write a book protesting it and then she must have forgot to but it was on her to-do list. If you had just READ MY POSTS, you would have gotten all that...

4. Super Tunnel Vision

So they've dismantled your arguments and shredded all your points. Have they taken everything away from you? No! You still have your dig - no, wait, that's gone. There must be something though! Aha! Someone mentioned you made a grammar error. Attack it with all your might! Surely this is the foundation of all their arguments. Don't get distracted by the evidence or anything, man! Eyes on the prize!

example said:
see i new it, u people have no response to my evidance and resort to making fun of my gramer. how sad. maybe u shoudl stop being a gramer nazi and start seeing if u have an anser to any of my 7 points...

5. Be Your Own Wingman

Creating a second account to agree with your first one is most often called "sockpuppeting", but "wingman" sounds sadder. The "reverse wingman" is a variation where the second account jumps on the bandwagon making fun of the first one, apparently in an attempt to help the second account to become "the popular one" that the poster will continue to use.

6. Hotel California Guest

They keep checking out out but they never leave. Sometimes they demand to be banned or have their account deleted because this is a way of talking like you are done with the site without actually having to stop posting and give up the last word. This also sets them up for item #1 above when they can claim their banning was just what they wanted and you played into their hands.

example said:
I know I said I wasn't coming back but I saw what you said about my mom, and I had to set the record straight, ITS A MEDICAL DISORDER. Anyway, I'm leaving now and you'll never see me again, I hope you're happy.
example said:
I forgot my keys

7. The Innocent Question

Classic passive-aggression technique with the easy fallback of "I was just asking questions!" which plays critics off as suppressors of ideas and critical thinking. Questions include "Can this 9/11 video I just stumbled upon be real???" or "Why is it taboo to just explore what makes different races smarter than others?" See, because they're not saying one race is better than another. They're ASKING.

8. First Amendment Reinterpretation

Activist judges have nothing on internet people, who reinterpret an amendment guaranteeing freedom from government repression as a law protecting them from any criticism of their ideas and even requiring other people to spend money creating and maintaining a platform for them to get their ideas out. Strangely, this guardian angel of a law is only meant to pretect them and not their critics.

example said:
Koreans are neither a playable race in WoW nor are they mythical creatures. Are you literally retarded?
Maybe you've never heard of a little thing call the FIRST AMENDMENT? That's right, in this country we can say whatever we want and you have to be supportive and agree.

I'm talking to my lawyer right now. Thanks to freedom of speech, you are going to go to jail for the words you said.

9. The Passive-Aggressive Apology

What better way of looking like a big man than by saying you're sorry? You don't actually have to be sorry, or admit you did anything wrong, or stop arguing or insulting people. As long as you use the word "sorry" it's clearly an apology, and anyone who complains that you haven't stopped doing what you're apologizing for, and haven't even admitted it, is a bad person who can't let things go.

example said:
I think things have gotten out of hand and I just wanted to apologize. It's my fault I didn't realise you were all so dumb you would misinterpret my jokes as insulting and offensive. I honestly didn't know about all these unwritten rules you have about kissing up to the admins because I thought this was a place for free discussion and not a reincarnation of the Third Reich. From now on I will try to be a good little mindless follower and goosepstep to the Fuhrer's orders.
example said:
WTF was I banned??? I APOLOGIZED YOU NITWITS

10. Unbelievable Credentials

What proof do you have that this guy is not, as he claims, a physicist, a doctor, a Supreme Court Justice, a former Delta Force assassin, a Hollywood director, and Strunk of Strunk & White? It's the internet, you'll never be able to prove he isn't who he says! Well, except for the little matter of him not knowing the slightest thing about any of those subjects. Curses!

example said:
my spealing an grammer r just fine thnk u... ill have u no that i am thusly a porfesser on englich at harverd medical scholl and i have won the noble price for grammer 3 yeras in a row, as such and heretofor, ... and now it us u por misreants who must indubiatably feel thus ashamed at my dipsley of langauge.

11. The Edgy Card

This is a variant of Super Tunnel Vision above, but it's so prevalent it needs a special mention. Do you dislike one of this person's jokes or artworks? It's not because it's bad or poorly done or doesn't make any sense. It's because YOU DON'T GET IT, MAN. It's too ironic for you to understand, or possibly it's so offensive that your puritan sensibilities reject it. It must be one or the other.
 

Laura

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

It is hilarious. And we have sure seen them all, more than once!
 

mada85

The Living Force
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

example said:
my spealing an grammer r just fine thnk u... ill have u no that i am thusly a porfesser on englich at harverd medical scholl and i have won the noble price for grammer 3 yeras in a row, as such and heretofor, ... and now it us u por misreants who must indubiatably feel thus ashamed at my dipsley of langauge.

:rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:
 

Buddy

The Living Force
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques


In number 4. Super Tunnel Vision, the "gramer nazi" comment floored me. :D

I sometimes wonder how many of the "no replys" to some posters are due to readers being too incapacitated with laughter to see their keyboards. :)
 

EmeraldHope

The Living Force
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

Laura, here is the second article. I edited the profanity best I could, you may want to edit it in another way .






6 New Personality Disorders Caused by the Internet.


The Internet makes people crazy. We all know this. The guy on the message board who just called you a *&^%clown for owning a different video game console than him probably would have been perfectly polite had you met in real life.

In fact, we're thinking it's time they updated the psychological diagnostic manuals with this list of new disorders that only seem to kick in once the person opens a web browser




#6. Online Intermittent Explosive Disorder (a.k.a. The Thin-Skinned Rage-o-holic)

Like serial killers, these people seem pretty normal at first. For hours or even days, they'll carry on funny, charming conversations in a forum or comment section. But then something, anything, sets him off and he devolves into a tantrum that would make Christian Bale say, "Dude, calm down! Jesus."

In Real Life it's Called...

Intermittent Explosive Disorder.

Out in the real world, IED is an impulse control disorder that can make a person act like their entire family has been murdered just because Burger King forgot to put their fries in the bag. They're prone to fits of uncontrollable rage in situations that don't call for it.


And while it only affects around six percent of people in real life, on the Internet you run into one of these in almost every comment section. And nothing sets them off like a mild hit to their ego:

IED Guy: Hey guys I made this Photoshop, can I get some constructive criticism?
Normal poster: You might want to cut six or seven of the lens flares.
IED Guy: *&%^ YOU YOU COMMUNIST *&%^TARD. I HAVE WON AWARDS FOR MY WORK WHILE YOU WERE BUSY JERKING OFF IN YOUR PARENTS BASEMENT AND PLAYING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS-

(This continues for 2,000 words or so).

A simultaneously hilarious and disturbing example of this made internet headlines in mid-June, when somebody emailed a congressman's office and accidentally referred to his assistant Elizabeth as "Liz," prompting an explosion of 19 furious emails in which Elizabeth demanded that she be called by her full name.

So Why Does it Happen on the Internet?

First, there's the obvious: Most of us suppress our real-life spurts of rage for fear of getting punched in the face by the person we're screaming at. Second, on the Internet, where your looks, job, income and fancy clothes won't buy you any respect, some people seem to think they have to protect their reputation like an old west gunslinger: shooting down anybody who calls them out.

But then there's the third, and least obvious reason, which is that without tone of voice and body language, it's hard to convey mere annoyance or mild anger, without the fear that the person you're conveying it to just plain won't notice. So they think they have to crank it up to a 10 every time they're crossed, even if they don't mean it.

That's probably the weirdest part, that these people who are SCREAMING INSULTS IN ALL CAPS are often at the same time sitting in a cubicle somewhere, sipping coffee and conversing pleasantly with the person next to them.


#5. Low Forum Frustration Tolerance (a.k.a. The Frantic Browser Reloader)

This is the guy who makes a new thread, knowing he's just written the absolutely perfect post. A post that should be heralded across the Internet for its beauty, comedy and insight. It is such a good post that the guy is checking every five seconds to see if there is a new response. If he gets a response he quickly dashes out his own reply that will appear half a second later.

If there are no responses to his perfect post then he will wait an eternity of five minutes before replying to his own thread with, "What, nobody has a comment? Helloooo???"

You may also find this guy submitting stories to news portals like Digg and Reddit, losing an entire workday hitting Refresh (or F5) over and over, waiting for somebody, anybody, to digg up his submission.

In Real Life it's Called...

Low Frustration Tolerance.

LFT is defined as a person seeking immediate gratification or the avoidance of immediate pain. At first this sounds like the behavior of any whiny seven-year-old who wants a toy and will scream and pump his fat little arms until he gets what he wants. But unlike a kid, a quick smack to the back of the head won't shut this guy up.

Someone with LFT is so obsessed with their current project that everything else in their life stops. It's actually a form of procrastination, the obsession with that (often utterly inconsequential) object allows them to neglect their work, or girlfriend, or their dog that shits in the corner of the bedroom because it hasn't been walked in the last 10 hours.

So Why Does it Happen on the Internet?

There never has been an engine for instant gratification like the Internet. Our parents thought television killed our attention spans, but hell, with TV you still had to wait for the shows to come on, and they played at their own pace. On the Internet, the videos start when you tell them to. If they don't, off to another site. It's like a faucet: you turn the knob and you expect an immediate flow of lolcats.

It trains all of us to be impatient. And it's easy for the impatient to start looking at fellow posters or Diggers as just more pieces of content, morsels that need to be delivered the instant we want them. And why wouldn't we? This is a place where we can get a girl to strip for us on a webcam for like three bucks.


#4. Munchausen by Internet (a.k.a. The Sob Story Teller)

These are the people who lurk around innocently enough, and then, one day, tragedy strikes. Their dog, or parent, or maybe a close friend died. Maybe the poster themselves found out they have a terminal disease. And unless you're on 4chan, the group will generally rally around and shower them with sympathy. You send this person your prayers and well wishes, maybe a few dozen kitten pictures and you hope they will get through it.

Then, a few months later, another tragedy strikes them. Their best friend was raped, or paralyzed in an accident, or both. A few months after that, their father dies. Again.

Soon it becomes apparent that they are either living under an ancient Egyptian curse, or they're making it all up.

It's so common that somebody else has already coined the sarcastic term for it: Munchausen by Internet.

In Real Life it's Called...

Munchausen Syndrome.

The basis of need here is the same as the attention-seekers above, only these people will only settle for the positive and sympathetic attention that comes with being sick or some other kind of distress. You know, without the whole "actually being sick" thing to bog them down.

In real life they can keep it up for years, because society doesn't make it easy to be skeptical in these situations. If you cast doubt on them and then later discover it was in fact true, suddenly you're the biggest douche on the planet.

So Why Does it Happen on the Internet?

As easy as it is to pull off in real life, it's 10 time easier online where there's no simple way to fact-check the claims. So it doesn't take a balls-out liar or con man to pull it off. Hell, all you need to do is know how to type, and you have access to that same outpouring of sympathy all Munchausen sufferers get addicted to.

A famous case of cyberMuching was that of Kaycee Nicole, a 19-year-old with Leukemia who turned out to have been created by 40-year-old Debbie Swenson. The Kaycee character posted daily for two years in a online journal about her struggle to live with her illness. She then "died" and only when there was no funeral people did people figure out it had all been a hoax.

And even then, Swenson could keep doing it elsewhere if she so pleased. She may be out doing it right now. On the anonymous Internet, you can create a dozen different characters and when one of them starts to get boring the "parent" can just kill them off. This is clinically known as the LOST approach.

#3. Online Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder (a.k.a. The Grammar Nazi)

We all reserve the right to mock people who post 500-word blocks of misspelled nonsense. But then you have the situation where somebody posts a perfectly clear and clever message but within their well-articulated points they dare to confuse "your" with "you're." And then somebody will flip out.

Like a Mossad agent in rural America, you quickly discover that you've found a Nazi. Of the Grammar variety.

In Real Life it's Called...

Obsessive-Compulsive Personality Disorder, or OCPD.

OCPD should not be confused with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (or, "The OC Disorder"). OCPD shares the obsessive component of OCD, but it is different from OCD in that OCPD has the letter P in its name. That and people with OCPD do not perform the weird ritualistic actions of OCD'ers, like opening a door four times or having to always eat Pringles with the concave side up.

OCPD types simply have an incredibly strict standard by which certain tasks be done, to the point that it literally can lead to violence otherwise.

So Why Does it Happen on the Internet?

At the heart of the real-life OCPD sufferer seems to be an irrational fear that the rest of the world is sloppier, dirtier and more disorganized than it should be, that it's rapidly getting worse, and that the world will fall to pieces unless someone straightens it up.

On the Internet, five minutes spent reading YouTube comments can convince even an average, level-headed person that the Internet is about to suffer the same fate. The old-fashioned holdouts who insist on typing in actual sentences see what seems to be an inexorable move toward a language based entirely on texting abbreviations. It's not hard to feel the desire to take up arms to defend language at all costs. Srsly.


#2. Low Cyber Self-Esteem (a.k.a. The Guy Who Everyone Hates but Who Never Leaves)

There's a place for everyone on the Internet to feel at home. When you can fill a message board with fans of The Wonder Years porn, there should be no such thing as an outcast.

Yet, each forum, chat room or other online community seems to have a person or people who just don't fit in. It's not that they are necessarily horrible people, they're just the square trying to fit into the triangle hole. They get ridiculed constantly.

Now you may figure this is no different than the picked-on nerd in high school, but unlike that kid always getting squished into a locker, these people are free to leave the website at any time.

But they never do.

In Real Life it's Called...

Self-Abasement and/or Attention Seeking Behavior.

Someone with the need for self-abasement feels that they should be perpetually punished for their wrongdoings.

They're like the albino that whipped himself in The Da Vinci Code, only instead of drawing blood they draw "*&%^ you noobtard" comments. It's either a subconscious way to feel like they're paying back the world for their sins, or they're just so out of self-esteem that they can't muster the energy to defend themselves.

If taken to an extreme, it can even turn into Online Erotic Humiliation where the abuse turns into sexual arousal. So the next time you tell someone to go -flick- themselves, you might have just given them the material to do so.

But maybe more common than that is good ol' Attention Seeking Behavior, which every single person who's ever spent just one evening with a child will be familiar with. The outcast, like the child, knows that hate is not the opposite of love, apathy is. All that negative attention is still attention, and the abuse is still several steps better than being ignored.

So Why Does it Happen on the Internet?

So we've established that when you say, in person, "Jimmy, go away, you're a retard" that Jimmy is just happy that somebody used his name and acknowledged his existence. Even if the only reason you used his name was to tell him to go die in a fire.

But when you type it on a message board, it's that much better. This isn't just attention, but attention that's being broadcast around the globe via the World Wide Web. The "we hate Jimmy" thread on a popular forum might be read by thousands of people. If that many people are reading about him, he must matter (heck, think of all the TV personalities who have made a career out of being hated).

The attention-seeker gets what he wants, and the self-abaser gets an erection big enough to actually interfere with the signal on his wireless keyboard.


#1.Internet Asperger's Syndrome (a.k.a. The Troll)

We can't take credit for this one, blogger and Internet entrepreneur Jason Calacanis coined the term "Internet Asperger's Syndrome" to describe the utter loss of all social rules and empathy that seems to hit some people for no other reason than that they happen to be communicating via keyboard and monitor at the time.

We don't need to retell all of the horror stories. A kid commits suicide on webcam while the trolls cheer him on, Anonymous mocks a suicide victim, some kids fire a baby out of a giant slingshot for a YouTube video (we're not sure if that last one actually happened but it's really just a matter of time).

Normal kids, good grades, no criminal records... but get them in a chat room and suddenly it reads like the transcript to a Charles Manson parole hearing.

In Real Life it's Called...

Asperger's Syndrome.

This rarely diagnosed but often claimed disorder is a mild form of Autism that comes with what seems to be a biological inability to show empathy for other human beings, as well as (and maybe stemming from) an inability to recognize nonverbal cues. They continually do weird, upsetting things because they don't know it's upsetting you. That part of their brain is broken.

People cringe when they hear this term because they know that a large number of the teenagers claiming Asperger's are, in fact, merely *&^%s.

So Why Does it Happen on the Internet?

Calacanis figured out that people who do all of their communicating online wind up mimicking Asperger's behaviors because they are imposing the same disadvantages on themselves. In both cases, when the ability to see nonverbal responses and facial expressions goes away, so does empathy. Soon the thing you're communicating with isn't a person, they're just a bunch of words on a screen. A bunch of words that the little &*$%^&^ didn't even bother to spellcheck.
 

EmeraldHope

The Living Force
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

Laura,

Here is the last one. Once I again I edited for profanity. I did not type in the quotes of the actual examples given because most would not be appropriate due to language and were not needed to make the point. i was really not sure what to do due to forum profanity rules. If you want these two transcriptions changed to the original content and all quotes added in I will be glad to do it, just let me know. I am defaulting to better safe than sorry.



The 8 Most Obnoxious Internet Commenters

Under every video on YouTube or Break, and under every story on Digg or even right here on Cracked, there is a mini-culture that forms down in the comment section. The hit-and-run nature of the comments means it's fertile ground for some really annoying personalities to thrive.

These are the eight commenter personality types you'd most like to avoid, but can't because they're freaking everywhere.

#8.The Non-Believer


Typical Comment

"FAKE! Did you see how that guy exploded just BEFORE he hit the tree. Fake, don't waste my time."

Who Are They?

They like to think of themselves as the jaded skeptic in a world full of gullible sheeple, determined to be a flickering light of truth in a dark internet full of lies and fake viral videos. "No one could really fart on a birthday cake that way!"

Why We Hate Them:

The guys we're talking about here are the knee-jerk skeptics, the ones who take it too far. They have an automatic reaction to call "fake" on pretty much any video that shows anything remotely remarkable happening. They're not doing it in some grand quest for truth, they just want to feel smarter than the room and generally suck all of the wonder out of the world.

This is the internet, if we want to believe some dudes can catch sunglasses on their face like that, who are they to take that from us, dammit!


#7.The Macho Man


Typical Comment:

"Holy *^%!!!!!! That was *&^(* awsome! but IF that guy did that to me id kill him


Who Are They?

We think this guy is the same 'roid-monkey, blond-haired, fake tan, lip-pouting douche bag who made your high school life hell. He is the same guy who would have called you "dweeb" if you lived in a 1980's teen movie, but it is more likely that he called you "^&*&er" and pooped on your porch after egging your house.

Why We Hate Them:

This guy shows up commenting on any video or news story that involves a fist fight or confrontation. He's quick to remind us of what a badass he is in the real world, and is quick to make physical threats ("You want to come to Jersey and say that to my face??!?!?!").

After spending his formative years settling disputes on high school football fields, he's desperate to be the same kind of bully online he is in the real world. But he's found himself in a strange realm where huge biceps don't seem to count for anything, and is having a tough time making the adjustment.

No, you can't punch people over an internet connection, Macho Man. We've tried it.


#6.The Great Defender


Typical Comment:

"I'd like to see you do any better. What have you ever done with your life? Stop judging people and let everyone be who they want to be because, in the end, isn't that what life is all about?"

(NOTE: This comment is usually followed by someone replying with a shatteringly eloquent: *&(

Who Are They?

The Great Defender sees himself or herself as a moral crusader, like a cross between Batman and Jesus. In reality they are more like a cross between Jeremy Piven and that annoying girl who always feels the need to inject herself into every conversation, at least long enough to let you know she holds the moral high ground.


Why We Hate Them:

Much like the Non-Believer up there, it's the knee-jerk nature of the Great Defender that's so annoying. You can have a YouTube video of a group of neo-Nazis shooting puppies out of a cannon, and the Great Defender will jump in with, "Wow you have to wonder what kind of trauma these guys had growing up that caused them to be so misguided. Some of you are so quick to judge."

That, or they may chime in with the much more annoying, "There are millions of starving children in the world, and you guys are getting worked up over some puppies?"

That seems to be the Great Defender's favorite weapon, which works on the premise that we're not allowed to get mad at anything as long as something worse is going on elsewhere.

You know what? If we want to be outraged, let us. That's why we watch those videos, it makes us feel better about ourselves. Sure, we may have stolen some movies off Bittorrent, but at least we didn't fire puppies out of a cannon while we were doing it.



#5.Mr. Science


Typical Comment:

"I think you'll find that when you mix pure Hydrogen with Oxygen you don't produce water (2H2O) as would be expected, you, in fact, create an explosion. So it is perfectly normal that this video shows an explosion during the attempted grafting of Helium (He) and Sodium (Na)."

Who Are They?

This guy knows everything about the laws that govern the known universe, even the stuff science hasn't figured out yet. He has an education, works in a lab (or claims to) and has devoted his extraordinary gifts to telling strangers on the internet that they are wrong.

Why We Hate Them:

This guy is the brainiac version of the Macho Man. His goal is not to inform others, but just to make it clear that he knows way, way more than them. This is the guy who stops an entire game of poker because you didn't "burn" the top card before the river."

There's of course a reason this guy is hanging out on YouTube instead of some forum full of other professionals. He gets off on being right so much that he actively seeks out the company of people who are chronically wrong.

He seems to be wholly unaware that showing up in the comments section under some retarded YouTube video is about as impressive as challenging a room full of kindergartners to a fight. Winning is almost as bad as losing.


#4.Hitler's Apprentice

Typical Comment:

"Damn spic, send him back to mexico!"

(NOTE: This is usually posted in a video about Mexicans actually in Mexico.)

Who Are They?

If you need to be told, then you are probably him. He's white, suburban, middle-class, and the only time he's been to the inner city was when Mom and Dad's SUV took a wrong turn in Atlanta because the GPS malfunctioned.

Why We Hate Them:

The internet has done wonders for racism. This guy probably never utters a racist word out in the real world, but once he can hide behind an avatar on the internet... BAM! Mr. KKK the Nazi Loving Aryan Prince rears his ugly head.

If the video or story or photo has a black person in it, this guy will be there unleashing all of the racial epitaphs he's been forced to bottle up while in polite society.

There is also a second tier of these guys who are slightly more educated, in the sense that they have memorized half a dozen highly suspect statistics that support their racism ("Blacks have smaller brains. It's not racist, it's true.") They don't mind that their views on race would have seemed old-fashioned about 40 years ago. They tell themselves they do it for the humor and shock value, which isn't much better since those jokes stopped being funny or shocking about 39 years ago.


#3.The Ninja


Typical Comment:

"your a *(&"

Who Are They?

This commenter is in and out in a flash, they will usually only post one comment, no more no less, just enough to get the job done. The ninja will lay in wait while some comment section argument rages. Then, just as everyone has stopped caring whether or not the new Harry Potter trailer looks stupid, the ninja will strike with such grace and precision that it will devastate everyone who stumbles across his comment, forever changing their lives.

Why We Hate Them:

Their style of drive-by insult is the sort of thing you can't get away with in real life, where poop-stirrers can get called out and often beaten. We can only imagine that he is sitting at home rubbing his hands, glowing in his accomplishment as he watches replies pile up for hours under a cheap insult it took him four seconds to type.

He sees himself as the internet equivalent of the Joker, spreading chaos for chaos' sake. He laughs maniacally towards the heavens, before breaking into a coughing fit and reaching for his asthma inhaler.


#2.The Political Activist


Typical Comment:

"How can you guys sit here and watch a video about two girls pooping into a cup when America is being turned into a Fascist police state?"

Who Are They?

These are almost always college kids who, in the last few months, have begun reading about politics. Unfortunately, all of their reading comes from inflammatory blogs and YouTube videos with techno background music and scary titles.

These guys have just now figured out that--gasp--there is corruption in politics, and now they're storming into every comment box they can find with guns blazing, ready to inform the rest of us about how the world really works.

Why We Hate Them:

Aside from the fact that these people have basically no real education on the topic, grossly exaggerate every issue and cling to every single conspiracy theory that comes along, they are by far the most in-your-face of all of the personalities on this list.

We almost wouldn't mind them if they aimed their comments at videos and articles that actually have something to do with politics. But these guys will inject their love for their favorite politician (ie, Ron Paul) under a YouTube video of a toddler on a trampoline. The only thing that makes us feel better is knowing most of them aren't old enough to vote.


#1.The Bot


Typical Comment:

"That video was FUNNY!!! For more funny videos visit www.fakesite.com/vn/TrojanHorseVirus.rar"

Who Are They?

"They" are not real, they are usually a computer that searches websites and creates fake accounts to post ads about bullshit websites that are often so riddled with spyware that even the pop-ups are enough to shoot sparks and hunks of melted plastic out of your PC.

Why We Hate Them:

Aside from the obvious (that we wanted funny videos but instead we got a load of midget porn spam and became the 10,000,001th victim of identity theft) there's the fact that these aren't always computer programs. Often they're employees who spend all day manually signing up to websites to post their spam. Regular Bots may screw up our computer. But the idea of humans that do this for a living is just depressing.

The thing is, it's even worse than the most annoying legitimate advertising, because these spammers don't even intend for you to click the link. They're just pasting in code because it helps their search engine rankings (you rank higher on Google when your URL appears on lots of other sites). That's why instead of some kind of enticing link to a product (which, hell, we might even enjoy, who knows) you often get a jumbled bunch of meaningless code meant purely to fool a search engine.
 

Argonaut

Jedi Master
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

Laura said:
There is also this:

The 8 Most Obnoxious Internet Commenters
By Toby Francis Sep 03, 2008

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_16605_8-most-obnoxious-internet-commenters.html#ixzz0xnBUO29V


6 New Personality Disorders Caused by the Internet
By Jonathan Kimak Jun 30, 2009

Read more: http://www.cracked.com/article_17522_6-new-personality-disorders-caused-by-internet.html#ixzz0xnC1nq2e

These two are also great! :lol: Cracked is right on target when it comes to stuff like this. Although they fail miserably when it comes to things like UFOs and conspiracies; they pretty much toe the party line in those areas.

Laura said:
I think all of these should go in our list of articles for newbies to read.

That would be very helpful, I agree.

EmeraldHope said:
So Why Does it Happen on the Internet?

Calacanis figured out that people who do all of their communicating online wind up mimicking Asperger's behaviors because they are imposing the same disadvantages on themselves. In both cases, when the ability to see nonverbal responses and facial expressions goes away, so does empathy. Soon the thing you're communicating with isn't a person, they're just a bunch of words on a screen.

This excerpt explains a lot about why some people seem to change when online... But there must be SOMETHING else wrong with them, because a lot of people can empathize online just fine. Maybe the lack of nonverbal cues - along with anonymity - brings out traits which are usually suppressed, but still present. And maybe what most people consider "empathy" isn't really empathy. Why would true empathy depend on seeing body language and facial expressions?
 

EmeraldHope

The Living Force
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

Maybe the internet is like alcohol, Argonaut.

Remember the saying, " A drunk man words are a sober mans thoughts" ?
 

Argonaut

Jedi Master
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

EmeraldHope said:
Maybe the internet is like alcohol, Argonaut.

Remember the saying, " A drunk man words are a sober mans thoughts" ?

That makes sense, yeah. The internet may lead to a similar lack of inhibitions. When I'm drunk I'm more talkative and less anxious, but my personality doesn't radically change. And it's the same when I'm online. But many people are like Jekyll and Hyde when it comes to drinking. Maybe a study could be done on this. Participants could be gotten drunk and then observed, to see if they display the same traits when drunk as they do online. :lol:
 

Laura

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
FOTCM Member
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

Another item sent to me on FB below. Notice that this mainly applies to an un-moderated forum but I'm sure the techniques have been refined for moderated forums such as ours:

COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control

COINTELPRO Techniques for dilution, misdirection and control of a internet forum..

There are several techniques for the control and manipulation of a internet forum no matter what, or who is on it. We will go over each technique and demonstrate that only a minimal number of operatives can be used to eventually and effectively gain a control of a 'uncontrolled forum.'

Technique #1 - 'FORUM SLIDING'

If a very sensitive posting of a critical nature has been posted on a forum - it can be quickly removed from public view by 'forum sliding.' In this technique a number of unrelated posts are quietly prepositioned on the forum and allowed to 'age.' Each of these misdirectional forum postings can then be called upon at will to trigger a 'forum slide.' The second requirement is that several fake accounts exist, which can be called upon, to ensure that this technique is not exposed to the public. To trigger a 'forum slide' and 'flush' the critical post out of public view it is simply a matter of logging into each account both real and fake and then 'replying' to prepositioned postings with a simple 1 or 2 line comment. This brings the unrelated postings to the top of the forum list, and the critical posting 'slides' down the front page, and quickly out of public view. Although it is difficult or impossible to censor the posting it is now lost in a sea of unrelated and unuseful postings. By this means it becomes effective to keep the readers of the forum reading unrelated and non-issue items.

Technique #2 - 'CONSENSUS CRACKING'

A second highly effective technique (which you can see in operation all the time at _http://www.abovetopsecret.com) is 'consensus cracking.' To develop a consensus crack, the following technique is used. Under the guise of a fake account a posting is made which looks legitimate and is towards the truth is made - but the critical point is that it has a VERY WEAK PREMISE without substantive proof to back the posting. Once this is done then under alternative fake accounts a very strong position in your favour is slowly introduced over the life of the posting. It is IMPERATIVE that both sides are initially presented, so the uninformed reader cannot determine which side is the truth. As postings and replies are made the stronger 'evidence' or disinformation in your favour is slowly 'seeded in.' Thus the uninformed reader will most like develop the same position as you, and if their position is against you their opposition to your posting will be most likely dropped. However in some cases where the forum members are highly educated and can counter your disinformation with real facts and linked postings, you can then 'abort' the consensus cracking by initiating a 'forum slide.'

Technique #3 - 'TOPIC DILUTION'

Topic dilution is not only effective in forum sliding it is also very useful in keeping the forum readers on unrelated and non-productive issues. This is a critical and useful technique to cause a 'RESOURCE BURN.' By implementing continual and non-related postings that distract and disrupt (trolling ) the forum readers they are more effectively stopped from anything of any real productivity. If the intensity of gradual dilution is intense enough, the readers will effectively stop researching and simply slip into a 'gossip mode.' In this state they can be more easily misdirected away from facts towards uninformed conjecture and opinion. The less informed they are the more effective and easy it becomes to control the entire group in the direction that you would desire the group to go in. It must be stressed that a proper assessment of the psychological capabilities and levels of education is first determined of the group to determine at what level to 'drive in the wedge.' By being too far off topic too quickly it may trigger censorship by a forum moderator.

Technique #4 - 'INFORMATION COLLECTION'

Information collection is also a very effective method to determine the psychological level of the forum members, and to gather intelligence that can be used against them. In this technique in a light and positive environment a 'show you mine so me yours' posting is initiated. From the number of replies and the answers that are provided much statistical information can be gathered. An example is to post your 'favourite weapon' and then encourage other members of the forum to showcase what they have. In this matter it can be determined by reverse proration what percentage of the forum community owns a firearm, and or a illegal weapon. This same method can be used by posing as one of the form members and posting your favourite 'technique of operation.' From the replies various methods that the group utilizes can be studied and effective methods developed to stop them from their activities.

Technique #5 - 'ANGER TROLLING'

Statistically, there is always a percentage of the forum posters who are more inclined to violence. In order to determine who these individuals are, it is a requirement to present a image to the forum to deliberately incite a strong psychological reaction. From this the most violent in the group can be effectively singled out for reverse IP location and possibly local enforcement tracking. To accomplish this only requires posting a link to a video depicting a local police officer massively abusing his power against a very innocent individual. Statistically of the million or so police officers in America there is always one or two being caught abusing there powers and the taping of the activity can be then used for intelligence gathering purposes - without the requirement to 'stage' a fake abuse video. This method is extremely effective, and the more so the more abusive the video can be made to look. Sometimes it is useful to 'lead' the forum by replying to your own posting with your own statement of violent intent, and that you 'do not care what the authorities think!!' inflammation. By doing this and showing no fear it may be more effective in getting the more silent and self-disciplined violent intent members of the forum to slip and post their real intentions. This can be used later in a court of law during prosecution.

Technique #6 - 'GAINING FULL CONTROL'

It is important to also be harvesting and continually maneuvering for a forum moderator position. Once this position is obtained, the forum can then be effectively and quietly controlled by deleting unfavourable postings - and one can eventually steer the forum into complete failure and lack of interest by the general public. This is the 'ultimate victory' as the forum is no longer participated with by the general public and no longer useful in maintaining their freedoms. Depending on the level of control you can obtain, you can deliberately steer a forum into defeat by censoring postings, deleting memberships, flooding, and or accidentally taking the forum offline. By this method the forum can be quickly killed. However it is not always in the interest to kill a forum as it can be converted into a 'honey pot' gathering center to collect and misdirect newcomers and from this point be completely used for your control for your agenda purposes.

CONCLUSION

Remember these techniques are only effective if the forum participants DO NOT KNOW ABOUT THEM. Once they are aware of these techniques the operation can completely fail, and the forum can become uncontrolled. At this point other avenues must be considered such as initiating a false legal precedence to simply have the forum shut down and taken offline. This is not desirable as it then leaves the enforcement agencies unable to track the percentage of those in the population who always resist attempts for control against them. Many other techniques can be utilized and developed by the individual and as you develop further techniques of infiltration and control it is imperative to share then with HQ.
 

truth seeker

The Living Force
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

This thread is hilarious!! Thanks so much everyone for contributing! It gave me a much needed laugh today. :)
 

Argonaut

Jedi Master
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

Laura said:
Another item sent to me on FB below. Notice that this mainly applies to an un-moderated forum but I'm sure the techniques have been refined for moderated forums such as ours:

Another good one! Many of these are very covert and hard to catch, but "Topic Dilution" seems to be commonly tried here. That's what appeared to be a goal of that rofo6850 character in the Neanderthal discussion, for instance. I think these types can unknowingly help us out... Whenever they try their games, it may mean we're really getting somewhere on a topic.
 

Alma.Innovadora

Jedi Master
Re: World's Saddest Internet Argument Techniques

And this?!!!... It may be a small example

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BzKgRa46UhU

EDIT: If anyone speaks German, can also check if what the boy says is true.
 
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