:) Thank you, Jones. That's very kind of you telling me this. When you relate this issue to yourself, it makes me feel that I am not facing this problem alone. I felt really bad after my last post, ashamed and anxious like a naive little boy. My imagination likes to act on fears and feelings of insufficiency. But fortunately I managed to not get too obsessed with judging myself and imagining scenarios of great failure. That moment of irritation when dream and reality clashed together has let to feelings of being hurt, insufficiency, anger,... you name it, unpleasant things that are threatening to my ego, to that sense of self-importance and self-control. And to me it takes some time to sort it out, to become myself again, more or less. I feel I am more myself when I am honestly observing without to judge anyone or anything.
Everything I say or do close to that moment of irritation might turn out being self-related and self-protective while trying to have the opposite effect on my counterpart. It blinds me and makes me crazy. I hate feeling that way. I guess the best thing is to leave the room and calm down BEFORE acting in any way. Easier said than done. Sometimes it works a little and sometimes not at all. I find those failures much more difficult to accept when it causes problems to others. Thanks god I'm in no position of power!
But I don't want to wander from the original subject any longer. I'm already taking way too much space in here.
Everything I say or do close to that moment of irritation might turn out being self-related and self-protective while trying to have the opposite effect on my counterpart. It blinds me and makes me crazy. I hate feeling that way. I guess the best thing is to leave the room and calm down BEFORE acting in any way. Easier said than done. Sometimes it works a little and sometimes not at all. I find those failures much more difficult to accept when it causes problems to others. Thanks god I'm in no position of power!
But I don't want to wander from the original subject any longer. I'm already taking way too much space in here.
