Crossroads

[EPG]

Hello,

I felt the need to reach out. I've recently begun my "journey", been reading quite a bit of information here and throughout the internet.

Currently, I'm stuck at a fork...

Basically, I'm still in college, about to begin a new academic year soon... which is also supposed to be my last year of studying economics...

Though, several months ago, around February, I had a psychedelic experience by taking [removed by moderator]. A few months later, something got triggered around early June, my mind went a bit "insane" for a month or two, and nothing seems to be the same anymore... I don't know if [...] was the direct cause, or if there was some other "force" at play? I want to know the objective truth.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm studying economics for nothing, wasting my time... that perhaps, I should just drop everything, live with my family, and just start reading more about "The Work" or the books written by Laura, which I have bought already but haven't had the time to read.

Then, I'm starting to grasp the basic principles of 3rd D -> 4th D, going from STS -> STO. I want to "evolve" spiritually, even though I clearly do not completely understand the concepts...

So, basically I'm undecided whether I should spend the next year continuing college to finish my studies (which requires a substantial investment of time) while trying "to understand what's going on" at the same time; or if I should just drop out, so that I have much more free time to get a better understanding of the knowledge provided here + interact more on these awesome forums.

The reason I'm so undecided is I feel that if I drop out, there's no going back, and that the majority of my friends + family would treat me like a "loser".

Sorry if I'm digressing/causing some disturbance, I'm just a confused ignorant guy looking for help.

Thank you, regards.

 

[anart]

Hello,

I felt the need to reach out. I've recently begun my "journey", been reading quite a bit of information here and throughout the internet.

Currently, I'm stuck at a fork...

Basically, I'm still in college, about to begin a new academic year soon... which is also supposed to be my last year of studying economics...

Though, several months ago, around February, I had a psychedelic experience by taking [removed by moderator]. A few months later, something got triggered around early June, my mind went a bit "insane" for a month or two, and nothing seems to be the same anymore... I don't know if [...] was the direct cause, or if there was some other "force" at play? I want to know the objective truth.

Yes, it was probably the cause. As we state here repeatedly, taking hallucinogens is a very, very bad idea. It opens up doors that should not be opened chemically and that are very hard to close.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm studying economics for nothing, wasting my time... that perhaps, I should just drop everything, live with my family, and just start reading more about "The Work" or the books written by Laura, which I have bought already but haven't had the time to read.

Then, I'm starting to grasp the basic principles of 3rd D -> 4th D, going from STS -> STO. I want to "evolve" spiritually, even though I clearly do not completely understand the concepts...

So, basically I'm undecided whether I should spend the next year continuing college to finish my studies (which requires a substantial investment of time) while trying "to understand what's going on" at the same time; or if I should just drop out, so that I have much more free time to get a better understanding of the knowledge provided here + interact more on these awesome forums.

This can only be your decision. No one here is living your life but you and it is your responsibility. With that said, I would strongly suggest that you finish your studies, mostly because we must pay rent on life. Life is where we do the Work, we don't just drop out and read at our parents' house because it's the easy thing to do.

The reason I'm so undecided is I feel that if I drop out, there's no going back, and that the majority of my friends + family would treat me like a "loser".

Sorry if I'm digressing/causing some disturbance, I'm just a confused ignorant guy looking for help.

Thank you, regards.

Honestly, I think you need to work on developing your Will. I think finishing out the last year, especially if you don't 'want' to is exactly what you should do. If you really want to learn and grow spiritually, you must grow something inside you that can withstand your 'likes and dislikes' - this only happens through sincere and difficult struggle. Finishing school can serve you well if you look at it this way and strive for all A's while you're at it. Just my two cents...

 

[EPG]

Thank you, kind sir.

I'm sorry, I realized afterwards that taking a psychedelic substance was in fact somewhat foolish, and it was a one time experience... I will most likely never do it again.

Most of the time, I came to the same conclusion as you've stated, and in fact I'm studying very hard in this recent period for some upcoming exams.

I really needed to hear this from someone else who was "unbiased". I feel much more relieved and motivated now. :)

Cheers,

 

[Laura]

Gurdjieff says that whatever conditions we find ourselves in when we first begin to think about our state of sleep and wanting to wake up are exactly right for us. After all, it is the conditions you are in that are giving you this impetus, right? So, why not stick with it, master it, and see where it takes you? I don't see any reason why you can't satisfy the demands of the real world, including family, AND work on yourself at the same time!

 

[DGF]

I agree with Laura. There's nothing to be gained by quitting school and studying this. Stay with school and study this as you can. One can study the spirit at will. It's an everyday thing. The school of life has no vacation.