Yas said:
Thanks for sharing Scottie!
I think that when he talks about his son, it relates a lot to external consideration... it's another way of seeing it, I suppose.
When we're on a situation when we're telling ourselves these stories, if we stop to consider the other person, trying to see him/her as they are, we can probably identify more easily what we are telling ourselves and manage to say something that would be beneficial for both parts. In this case, beneficial for the 15-years-old boy and for the parent who wants to teach him something.
Yeah, that was interesting and useful, and it didn't take 69 pages to convey. ;)
I think the thing that hit me harder, though, was the story about the woman who says, "I just learned that during the past 6 months, my husband has had lunch with his ex-girlfriend."
And then he asks what we imagine when we hear that, and everybody was thinking the same thing: he's cheating on her. I think in another video he tells the same story, but he adds the extra point that we don't even know how many times the hubby had lunch with the ex-GF. It could be once, or it could be every day. Everyone just assumes "lots". Was it at McDonalds related to work, or was it a romantic lunch at a 5-star restaurant?
It really made me think twice about what goes through my head when I hear something. It's so automatic, it's almost insidious!
How many times have we made incorrect assumptions that led to disaster or conflict when we could have saved everyone a lot of trouble by simply asking some questions?
And then, we have the concept of a "Blink". Well, yeah, that's there, but when is it a blink and when is it a story? How easy is it to think that our stories are blinks, when in fact they are just stories we're telling ourselves?
It's a pickle.
