Dark side of Cupid.

Alma.Innovadora

Alma.Innovadora

Dagobah Resident
Best Regards,

Long ago that I did not share with you. I honestly don't know where to put this post, but it's what I have in mind and I don't have no one else for talk about this. I'm reading more about investigating the links in articles, but always something escapes me until too late and that is why I write after much downtime in the forum, I do not want to wait until it's too late. I've been so overwhelmed that for the first time after so long I could drain some of powerlessness through tears with the EE. Thank you very much if you can help me with some articles, reflections, etc. I'll be looking at the forum for more information.

I write by the need for assistance to the circumstances that again I been wrapped in a spiral of lower instincts. All this time I've been under the addiction of misuse of the sexual center. I did not have the courage to share, because of shame and the silliness to do it alone, under the false impression that it was "normal", until things were getting worse, the enough to take the lonely road for a long time. And the truth is that after analyzing my weaknesses, I made a firm decision not to be in a relationship that is not collinear to the mutual growth objectively. Obviously ignoring other aspects that led me to take lower alternatives. Pornography.

A few months ago I'm putting the possible willingness to stop pornography. From the moment that I decided make this final decision, the many external and internal attacks are stronger by coworkers, my mother and dreams. As if that was not enough warning sign that something was wrong, the opportunities that have decided to take this final decision, in dreams I get the message: "You are our food, we will not leave you." Now this is very frightening, and I do not know how to deal with this.

I've experienced the dark side of Cupid. Yet it was not until I read this article: http://veilofreality.com/2014/11/22/the-dark-side-of-cupid-hyperdimensional-interferences-in-love-relationships/ - that I could identify more recent attacks. To cut a long subject, I summarize by saying that absolutely everything related to synchronicity, due to the internal need of wanting to find a collinear couple, true friends to help on mutual advancement of awareness and attract people with my same wounds, is my daily bread. My sexual center is run down and really, I need to move forward.

I'm in an environment where I can not be myself, where to speak honestly or about the true love or any belief that contradicts the belief system of others, is to be a fool. It hurts me more to see people appreciate much above their histrionic attitudes, disconnected from themselves, that whole ridiculous that expose me even when they see it in a way to be fun, not knowing the damage they can do really. Here, what you know as bullying, is a way to spend the day. Magnify the weaknesses of others, subjecting them to ridicule, is a way of familiarizing. Is icebreaker is to be fun otherwise you is boring. By making it a very advantageous field for attacks and a golf quite useful for harvesting patience and practice self-control over impulses training. But that, I've survived so long ago, today I am strong enough to laugh with them and that's where the attack occurs when I try to find something real in them, trying to trust them, I always get the back stab. But I can not isolate myself and they apparently not know nothing about respect. So normally not treat almost never with them, is the most feasible option. But can create an uncomfortable work environment, so occasionally I pretend that I'm just like them.


No more anything to add,
I say goodbye and thank you very much.

:lkj:
 
Raison d'être​, the important thing is that you have taken the first step.
To put your inner self out there is the most difficult thing for anybody, and you have overcome that first obstacle. Lizzies will start to go hungry now.
Keep up the good work.
 
Raison d'être said:
A few months ago I'm putting the possible willingness to stop pornography. From the moment that I decided make this final decision, the many external and internal attacks are stronger by coworkers, my mother and dreams. As if that was not enough warning sign that something was wrong, the opportunities that have decided to take this final decision, in dreams I get the message: "You are our food, we will not leave you." Now this is very frightening, and I do not know how to deal with this.
Click to expand...

Congratulations on the courage to address this and on bringing this issue to the forum. In terms of the Porn situation, firstly it's worth noting that pornography is a drug just like cocaine is a drug. With regards to this, it's well worth watching the following series on SOTT, 'Your Brain on Porn' which accurately highlights the neuro-chemical dynamics at play surrounding both pornography and lust/sexual attraction generally:

http://www.sott.net/article/231669-This-Is-Your-Brain-On-Porn

Considering the findings here, I think it's understandable that your dreams are giving you such messages. With severely draining addictions such as porn, we can often be lured into the trap of believing that simply 'giving up for good' is the solution in and of itself but I believe the real challenge is being able to successfully navigate the aftermath of such destructive behaviours where we are left emotionally and psychically drained and vulnerable.

We often believe that we'll be rewarded for stopping our addictions as we're acting in line with our higher motives and self but usually the opposite is true and in the wake of giving up the negative behaviour, the battle simply takes on a new form. The previous guilt and despondency we experience whilst indulging is initially replaced not with a sense of achievement but by struggle and attack from our predator. I guess Your dream message can be seen explicitly in terms of your predator going into overdrive, starved and hungry for it's previous food and emotional high via porn and the subsequent turmoil you've found yourself experiencing is now manifesting and identifiable in other areas of your psycho-social world.

I guess as with many areas of the work, the solution necessitates deciding to consciously re-build the 'psychic holes' which have been created via your misuse of pornography through continuous knowledge and awareness input and subsequently your level of BEING.

To start with I'd suggest reading some of the individual accounts from the site at the end (personal stories found on the left menu of the page) which certainly helped me when giving up porn. I think this is worthwhile even if you feel you've successfully stopped. They depict the shocking depth of human degradation which is endemic within the porn industry by women and men who've worked in it. I guess the idea here is that you give yourself a firm educational and more objective understanding of what you've been involved in and the real human stories which lie behind the deeply ponerized world that is porn.

Crucially, the idea here is not to make yourself feel guilty. Whilst guilt can initially be a partial motivating factor to work on the self, if held onto it can become a program of its own and can quickly turn into self pity and become draining. From what you've written, personally I think this is something to be hyper-vigilant about as you go forward. In terms of some of the other issues you've referred to and the painful emotional issues around seeking a collinear relationship, this recent thread here is well worth exploring. All the best :)

http://www.antipornography.org/home.html
 
Zenith said:
http://www.sott.net/article/231669-This-Is-Your-Brain-On-Porn

Crucially, the idea here is not to make yourself feel guilty. Whilst guilt can initially be a partial motivating factor to work on the self, if held onto it can become a program of its own and can quickly turn into self pity and become draining. From what you've written, personally I think this is something to be hyper-vigilant about as you go forward. In terms of some of the other issues you've referred to and the painful emotional issues around seeking a collinear relationship, this recent thread here is well worth exploring. All the best :)

http://www.antipornography.org/home.html
Click to expand...

Thanks for the feedback fellas.

I've seen this series, I will see him more carefully. I can not understand it at all, because the Spanish translation from youtube featuring, his options, is very bad and even missing words. The link to antipornography, is great. The stories are incredibly overwhelming... speechless, much to think about. Incredible, I opposed the use of women as a tool for pleasure, so much that I decided the lonely road and I've been supporting precisely to which I am opposed, seeing these things... incredible.

It was not the first time that I used to feel with a ravenous hunger as if it came from another "stomach." But this time longer I felt with the urge to take a definitive control over this addiction. I was already really fed up of falling again and again. Of course I was ashamed of myself, but a part some beyond of me, rather than guilt or self pity, was like a strong wake-up call:

You ask for help, you are granted and then, you just turn away his face, believing that only the time can do, what you with actions and the application of knowledge, must do. The consequences will be the result of your own actions. Then do not complain. You have the tools, use them once and for all.

At some point, after seeing a little beyond the veil, there is a share of responsibility, there is no progress without taking action. We have to leave the comfort zone and have discipline. There are many other things that come into play course for advancement and self-control. But if you do not act, you get stuck and the only thing that will magnify, will be pathological behaviors in other areas of life.

There is a fairly restless detail, and I'm beginning to suspect the intrusion of spirits attached to my mother, after a sleep paralysis, apparently it has been observed that have been moving objects in the house. She said that she felt she stroked her hair like take care of her. And the first time that she noticed that something was moved from its place, was on the anniversary date of marriage to my late stepfather. I'll wait to talk to her seriously about it, to ask for details. And so for more information and to write about it.

Thanks for the support and for the feedback.
 
An important turning point for me was seeing the porn and not being able to let myself forget that these women may be slaves, and that they do not really look happy at all. Really they looked shut off and robotic, or even trying hard to conceal their terror.

Essentially what is being done to these women is the full manifestation of the bullying done to you, OSIT.
 
Regards,

I've done the work, it has been interesting. I present my findings:

We do not need that movies are labeled to "adults only" for assimilate the sexual exploitation. You need a label for the porn industry so they can disguise the sexual exploitation and this which is broken down into many categories in which sex is not the only reason to lock in this term, normalize by wordplay and messaging double meaning, can be legal and therefore acceptable to society.

Terms that under the "acting" mask as rape, incest, torture, etc. are in these pages and in turn is exercised by pathological individuals through illegal acts or in pairs under the mask of "sexual fantasies". What we do not know is that unconsciously supports and promotes exploitation and sexual abuse. Already allowed into their lives, their minds and have adopted it as "normal".

It is normal to hear "I want to rape her, she is very hot" ... and imagination begins to fly. The detail is not to judge what fantasies are not allowed in a couple long as these are healthy and normal. The problem is the background by which end up adopting destructive behavior as "normal" which then point and want change, justice, out of bed, morally to others around. It makes no sense. Too many things have been distorted.

Thanks,
For a will more stronger. :lkj:
 
Congratulations on the courage to address this and on bringing this issue to the forum. In terms of the Porn situation, firstly it's worth noting that pornography is a drug just like cocaine is a drug. With regards to this, it's well worth watching the following series on SOTT, 'Your Brain on Porn' which accurately highlights the neuro-chemical dynamics at play surrounding both pornography and lust/sexual attraction generally:

http://www.sott.net/article/231669-This-Is-Your-Brain-On-Porn
Click to expand...

Thanks for pointing these videos out. This addiction is definitely something I need to address...
 
Raison d'être said:
Regards,

I've done the work, it has been interesting. I present my findings:

We do not need that movies are labeled to "adults only" for assimilate the sexual exploitation. You need a label for the porn industry so they can disguise the sexual exploitation and this which is broken down into many categories in which sex is not the only reason to lock in this term, normalize by wordplay and messaging double meaning, can be legal and therefore acceptable to society.

Terms that under the "acting" mask as rape, incest, torture, etc. are in these pages and in turn is exercised by pathological individuals through illegal acts or in pairs under the mask of "sexual fantasies". What we do not know is that unconsciously supports and promotes exploitation and sexual abuse. Already allowed into their lives, their minds and have adopted it as "normal".

It is normal to hear "I want to rape her, she is very hot" ... and imagination begins to fly. The detail is not to judge what fantasies are not allowed in a couple long as these are healthy and normal. The problem is the background by which end up adopting destructive behavior as "normal" which then point and want change, justice, out of bed, morally to others around. It makes no sense. Too many things have been distorted.

Thanks,
For a will more stronger. :lkj:
Click to expand...

Thanks for your conclusions Raison d'être, I agree, we have reached the point where everything has some sexual element, whether overt or covert, as Gurdjieff I mention, sex moves the world, the owners of this world know and try to get the most out regardless of gender, social class, ideology etc. It is very sad. Recently I went to the cinema to see the movie 50 shades of gray, it is quite grotesque, so to speak softer, so shocking was found nearly full house, and people happy and clapping with scenes of sexual abuse, certainly depressing, I left a little nauseous indeed. :/
 
Zenith said:
From what you've written, personally I think this is something to be hyper-vigilant about as you go forward.
Click to expand...

Hypervigilance... how? when attacks are of all kinds and through people closest to one... but when they are due to his actions... how am I supposed to I create a protection for me, through them and even for them same? I'm doing as far as I can, detoxification organic to counteract the brain chemical processes that generate addiction in the area of rewards. Investment and bad energy approach employed in projects really productive. It is a kind of "say no" to these emotions.

A few weeks ago I woke up with his left arm scratched. I do not sleep on a bed of wires, It is as if they were product of a struggle. That night I had a dream and i saw my mother lying on the stairs of my home, bathed in blood. A similar dream to my stepfather three years before dying. An attack on my weakness... there are dreams that have not been entirely a "dream" for a while now, dreams have been a sort of "preparation" and very lucid.

Obviously the biggest fear is that my parents be eliminated, such as through a desperate attack to weaken my will. Thinking like an addict's mind works... the addicts turn to drugs to escape from the "pain", right? that's how the attack it works... by get out of this spiral nonsense. And my observation has been that is worst thing you can do is get carried away by fear and not out of the spiral and so believe that we will not be attacked. That would give up your free will.
 
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