FireShadow
Jedi Master
I want to thank all those who participated in this thread and give a brief (I hope) update.
Wow.
The shocks I received really pulled me up short (a good thing). :)
Since I had already spent my book budget for the month, I went to the library. My local library had none of the books, but were able to locate "Trapped in the Mirror" and "The Narcissistic Family". (No "Unholy Hunger" available in the Texas Library system! - So, it goes on the list for my next book purchase, coming soon.)
I have now finished reading those two (having previously read "Myth of Sanity) - All I can say is that it feels like a "key has suddenly unlocked the door to a big room". I am still assimilating the information and working on applying it. (Big job/journey ahead, but excitement at having a direction and a map).
I am struck by how insiduous it all is - I mean, I "knew" a lot of this information from my previous studies...but apparently my understanding was based on the previous context (under which I originally studied the psychological material). I had then "filed" the information in my mind as I understood it then. Then, because I thought I knew it, I had not re-examined my understanding. I have been operating under previous understandings.
No wonder I plunged ahead with what I thought was a proper path and ended up making a new mess!
Reading these books now (in the context of where I am now in my development versus where I was 15 years ago), I have come to a "deeper" understanding of the information. Where I had intellectual understanding, I now SEE it more clearly. Is this what is called "internalization" of information?
Most exciting for me is that this insight is generalizing in more aspects of my life than the episode about which I originally wrote. So much has been clarified for me.
Again, thank you all. Not to beat a dead horse, but this means so much to me. After wandering around in the Void for so long and not seeing any way out, it is a New Day - I finally see a path out of the Void. I don't care if it takes a lot of work, I will happily do what is necessary to keep going. I am so relieved to have some work to do.
Wow.
The shocks I received really pulled me up short (a good thing). :)
Since I had already spent my book budget for the month, I went to the library. My local library had none of the books, but were able to locate "Trapped in the Mirror" and "The Narcissistic Family". (No "Unholy Hunger" available in the Texas Library system! - So, it goes on the list for my next book purchase, coming soon.)
I have now finished reading those two (having previously read "Myth of Sanity) - All I can say is that it feels like a "key has suddenly unlocked the door to a big room". I am still assimilating the information and working on applying it. (Big job/journey ahead, but excitement at having a direction and a map).
I am struck by how insiduous it all is - I mean, I "knew" a lot of this information from my previous studies...but apparently my understanding was based on the previous context (under which I originally studied the psychological material). I had then "filed" the information in my mind as I understood it then. Then, because I thought I knew it, I had not re-examined my understanding. I have been operating under previous understandings.
No wonder I plunged ahead with what I thought was a proper path and ended up making a new mess!
Reading these books now (in the context of where I am now in my development versus where I was 15 years ago), I have come to a "deeper" understanding of the information. Where I had intellectual understanding, I now SEE it more clearly. Is this what is called "internalization" of information?
Most exciting for me is that this insight is generalizing in more aspects of my life than the episode about which I originally wrote. So much has been clarified for me.
Again, thank you all. Not to beat a dead horse, but this means so much to me. After wandering around in the Void for so long and not seeing any way out, it is a New Day - I finally see a path out of the Void. I don't care if it takes a lot of work, I will happily do what is necessary to keep going. I am so relieved to have some work to do.
