Do I stay or do I go-on moving alone

I defining do not like this agent. I wonder how much of a difference another will make. The last one left doors open and she was fired. I am tired and am giving it a few days to find more info. This one said that it is bad to fire too many people because getting bad reputation of difficulty. Imagine that nonsense. This was before any problems arose. This one is an aggressive albeit narcissistic job in itself. But that's just my take, and its my take that matters unless I'm being ignorant. Which may be. If its me I want to know and will admit it

Its hard not to make a statement that is blanket about real estate agents, and them being shark-like. Yes, they have a job and want to make money, that's not the issue. The issue, one of them, is honest communication and its up to me to know everything I see. This person seems like shes working for the buyer or someone other than me. I've agreed to all she asked. Just make both get our needs met.

The market was great and easy for years. Now a lot of them have to really work harder Its not just paperwork and easy cash. The market, which is a joke, is said to be going up and it is slowly, however farcical it may seem. And maybe not too much. I am not wishful thinking. I am lowballing greatly. I have been told this by builders, even chintzy ones. A 2 family in a great locale on a big corner property 20 outside NYC shouldn't be that hard to sell. The house needs work and its old and charming, and I've come way down because of that.

I need to find the right persons to ask what to do next because I'm exhausted. I'm taking a few days to research on the Internet and be quieter. I am braething EE, eating allright and reading. I must sleep. When putting these things first and watching the body respond adversely, its time to just stop.

I hope I am being pretty clear. If not I'm sorry, and will be a lot clearer hopefully when balance is better.
 
I can see by reading my own text, that I certainly need to calm down. Too much emotional upheaval followed by trying to figure it out mentally.

Mrs. Peel, you are certainly a tolerant being. I kind of marvel at the patience and clarity in which you address me. That in itself tonight is food for thought.

I can also feel in reflecting calmly, that I don't feel I'm staying on third Island for long. If I can just trust thisbalance, maintain it and work fromhere, all will go well. As it will be what it is in material reality, and all the thinking and planning doesn't matter anyway. 3D can wear one out if I let it. I's very insane to live like that I can see. I feel very tired from it and want to be in the state I am when I'm not letting the ego run riot.
 
supriyanoel said:
The market was great and easy for years. Now a lot of them have to really work harder Its not just paperwork and easy cash. The market, which is a joke, is said to be going up and it is slowly, however farcical it may seem. And maybe not too much. I am not wishful thinking. I am lowballing greatly. I have been told this by builders, even chintzy ones. A 2 family in a great locale on a big corner property 20 outside NYC shouldn't be that hard to sell. The house needs work and its old and charming, and I've come way down because of that.
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Based on watching the markets (and housing) closely over the last 5 years, I think now is a good time to sell. The Fed/gov is doing much to prop up the RE market - even to small bubble proportions if possible - before the next downturn. So if you can sell soon and hold off a bit on your next purchase, you should make out pretty well.
 
supriyanoel said:
I can see by reading my own text, that I certainly need to calm down. Too much emotional upheaval followed by trying to figure it out mentally.

Mrs. Peel, you are certainly a tolerant being. I kind of marvel at the patience and clarity in which you address me. That in itself tonight is food for thought.

I can also feel in reflecting calmly, that I don't feel I'm staying on third Island for long. If I can just trust thisbalance, maintain it and work fromhere, all will go well. As it will be what it is in material reality, and all the thinking and planning doesn't matter anyway. 3D can wear one out if I let it. I's very insane to live like that I can see. I feel very tired from it and want to be in the state I am when I'm not letting the ego run riot.
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I can't believe your realtor hit somebody in the head? Good grief. I would fire her, and ask anyone you know if they can recommend a good one. Look in the newspapers at the real estate listings and see who has a lot of them listed, or seems to be selling a lot of houses. My guy came highly recommended and he did the job, sold my house in two days!

What does it matter to you if a buyer uses 100% financing or not? Perhaps because then they won't be able to get a loan that way? I'd sell it to whoever gets there first with the money!

Not sure if the person who put down the binder and backed out loses the money or not. I thought they only get it back if the seller changes their mind, or if the seller finds a buyer who is paying cash. Years ago, we put down money on a new house, contingent on us selling our old one first. Somebody else wanted to buy the same house, and they had money on the spot, so they got the house and we lost out but got our binder back.

I hope you get some straight answers soon!
 
Hi supriyanoel, I'm just now catching up with your thread but I know how hard it is to leave a place you love even though it is a heavy burden too. I can guess with it being your ancestral home you probably have accumulated a life time of memories and stuff too. Even my little house was packed to the gills but what helped me get through it was the idea of focusing on making more memories in a better suited place... if that was possible. :)

Realtors, I have found, will do just about anything to sell a house (if you find one willing to work hard that is) but as a seller you still have a lot of say and if this one has hit your tenant, then maybe you should find another one who can be professional... because that behavior is not professional. It makes me wonder how does she come off to the perspective buyers? In any event don't let her words get you down or pressure you any more than you already are if you can.

I wish I had more words of wisdom for you during this process but all I can say is hang in there!
 
All of you dear folks that have been so kind to respond, I will say a few things. Yes her behavior is deplorable, and being patient is one thing and timing another. I also wanted to be conscious of learning and being still at the same time. Could fire her easily, but I felt like holding off a bit. The mind says one thing, the soul another, so the Libra balances and calms.

This id what I did. I gave it til the week after Easter and then I was planning to fire her if I didn't hear from her. Two weeks went by and she called with an offer. It was below what I wanted and I asked her to do a little more bargaining. She refused. In the meantime I called the agent whose client was making the offer. I had given him a painting that he was admiring in my house the last time he showed the house. He liked it so much and showed so much love and happiness at receiving the gift that I was certainly glad to have the opportunity to see someone so elated.

I asked him to please negotiate with his client and give me what I asked for. He said he would do his best and 2 hrs later the original agent called and told me SHE got the man to go higher. Which was a lie. I did. When you get an agent to sell your home other agents can show the house, but they can't contact the seller. So I went over her head and got the price. I suppose she was surprised he changed his mind. She again started yelling at me. I asked her to lower her voice and the narcissism took off from there in a quite horrific manner

I had enough, went to the owner of the realty comp., told her again of the situation. She took matters into her hands, said a few telling words about the Narcissist, and I signed the papers and SOLD MY HOUSE. I would say by myself, and it would be a lie.

Many, and especially the caring folks like you Mrs Peel and LQB and KristenLynne who have listened, guided and cared to stay with me and abreast of the situation. There were many times I felt really alone You're hearing and responding kept me going. Again , I think we sometimes forget just what our presences can mean for each other. I have not remembered a time I really need someone, and the right someone. You are all the right someones. I know the work you contribute and the strength and courage you display. And the sharing of similar experiences and what you did. You have helped me improve the service I give to others, and the quality of it in times of doubt. I can't afford to stay angry or doubtful and it is only the trust in the WORK you do that keeps me doing it. I don't do being a Island well for any length of time.

Its also interesting that in the last few years I have been finding contacts of old and reconnecting. The one occasion I had to reconnect was through a dream of an old friend who I looked up the next morning. Tracking her down to the Rocky Mountains, where she relocated to leave the East Coast, basically. Colorado to be exact, not to far from Denver, looking to move further west or North.

As far as the sentiment of the things I have here, I am ready and willing to let go of all but what may be necessary. The 2 doggies will be by my side, but I am no further knowing where I'm going than before. The plan is to rent an apartment and go looking at different states or countries.

I am thinking North Carolina (yes, KristinLynne , its still beckons), possibly Florida (a little inland from the E. Coast), Cos-ta Rica, and my new like Oslo, Norway. If there is anyplace that anyone can suggest, I welcome all and every. I can teach all level of Yoga anywhere and am excellent at adapting to all kinds of conditions. I want to be wherever I can give the most service to whoever needs what I have to give. I do have a lot of students here and if that's where I must be I'll stay. I'm not looking for home exactly. I feel home already. Where am I needed is what I must decide, and what must I learn?

Oslo Norway is so aesthetically pleasing, yet is it where I need to be? Or in Mexico learning to farm and work with others. This is what its like being a Libra, and its best to get out of the head, live, Express and work on being simply honest. Then it flows. Do you know how many states and countries I go to to see and catch glimpses of something I'll recognize. It usually has nothing to do with anything but gathering data, a pleasent hobby. It's part of how dots connect in my life, but not directly of course. This is why being cloistered with a simple job of being a nun-like swami type existence of selfless service appeals to me. It seems that I am thrown into the social spotlight, by my choice of speaking and teaching small groups. I feel its not serving in the way it can. It feels like I'm ready to bring to the table what I've learned in different ways.

Some students from various African and European countries that are here in the U.S are stepping up to get involved in a way that is extremely giving and necessary for these videos and DVD to come about. It takes a tiny village and seems it took the willingness to leave this house to get on track with these projects that have stayed brewing for years. Writing this down here has been very powerful in cementing these ideas to more fruitative states.

So moving from your home moves your brain. It moves you from thinking to being. I'm seeing that more and more. The more comfortable I am the less I seem to live fully. Wow.
 
I might add that I don't feel particularly spacial or need Special Places to meet my special gifts. What I do need is affordability in a place where I'm not living above my means. It kind of sickens me when I hear MY MY MY me me me from me. It all feels selfishly uncomfortable even going on about some of these things called life issues. However I'm not above it and am in 3D. If my conscience serves me, it doesn't feel great. I feel great when my dogs trusts me in a way I have earned,

and show love when I'm self-absorbed and cranky. They are special if anyone is. I guess I should lighten up and enjoy and accept where I am. And I do. Really. Just sayin.

Everyday at least 2wice it rings that "It's not important where you are, but who you are". And everyday I deny it at least 2wice. It is so a part of my duality that I am unable to turn from its resounding voice. I am thankful that it is this the C's, and much more, have made a conscious reminder in my life. Now do I trust it? It seems like its pretty much everything.
 
FWIW supriyanoel, I think you made a good move with the house/property and in a good window for doing it - and as difficult as it is/was to cut the ties. And congrats on dealing with the RE agent from hell!

supriyanoel said:
So moving from your home moves your brain. It moves you from thinking to being. I'm seeing that more and more. The more comfortable I am the less I seem to live fully. Wow.
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Indeed it can - a certain freedom I imagine too. The path from here should broaden with possibilities. I don't have any particular suggestions on the "where", but I think there has been lots of good discussion on the "where not" - at least in generalities. Keeping tuned in to sott will likely give you lots of ideas on both sides of that issue.
 
Thanks LQB for those wise and timely works. I will keep on SOTTing.

I also want to do more in helping our school and now will be in a better position. I am in a physically contributing responsive mode, where I wasn't before and am indebted always to the members.

This is the day after, and I feel very much the same as when someone very close is passing. It is extremely physical. It the place of floating and having difficulty staying grounded. A lot of weeping, more than usual. Lifetimes of release when you thought you had released so much.

These words from members, again, mean so much. Thank you.
 
Congratulations on selling the house and hanging in there to get the right price. You are not alone in trying to decide just where to go but North Carolina may be wonderful for you. The possibilities do seem vast but as LQB said keep an eye out for the places to pass on. Another quote I like is a journey starts with a single step and it looks like you are on your way. :thup:
 
KristenLynne and LQB, I am on my way as you say. Maybe I've never not been. As of today the potential buyer backed out. As it was going into contract tomorrow I don't get the percentage of the binder. No matter. What I was feeling after the initial disappointment was something else.

Everyone knows about the Boston happenings, arresting the scapegoat and the cheers of the mindless disgusting hoards that follow as they are told. This house situation makes me put my priorities in order. I will endure however much I must with getting a buyer. What is more important is what I'm doing for anyone else in need? Not when the CHANGING-IN-BIG-WAYS, times come. They're here, have been, and are. I feel I'm shirking what I really can give by getting caught up in this real estate stuff and not taking care of the important things that do begin with me. If they didn't I'd be useless. People are still in dire need after Sandy, of which happened in my town. Hate to say it, I'm much more effective in times of disaster. It's easy to see the situations that are needed more obviously, and I'm ready and able. Its only more deceptive when it appears calm.

My eating has been off, and when its off, as far as i can feel, I'm not feeling what I had been feeling. Which is a whole intense load of emotion, that was being maintained by EE breathing and diet, a little trippy but hey, that's what happens to this individual. I just mean emotions on a deeper level and communication expansive, light, and then voila! The choice to fear and pick up dairy.Like an addict. Maybe not too long but lets not lie. If I really understand what was going on on many levels, and had faith, I would not choose denial. Choosing fear and its components is too scary and it is not working, which is good. If I pay attention. So I stopped eating what was numbing. Was feeling too good for too long, started a program of self-obsession, and there you go.

Getting out of my own trip of control is key. The house will sell when it does. I am flexible. I am not letting people abuse me through my own lack of observance. I am practicing more honesty I think. It does NOT matter where i am, but who I am. I let go , and am willing to let go of everything that keeps me attached to a program, as much as I can know, and am willing. I see this by the actions I take. The words that come from me mean little without the behavior that speaks for it. After firing the hellhound, who herself has actually helped me in ways( We can all be awful), I hired a new women with the same agency, who I have nothing against. Every so-called enemy has been the best of teachers. We will wait and see.

Today before the people came to look at the house again, before they reneged, I found a very strange, sad a startling situation. There on my upper lawn next to a big maple was a huge white Cockatoo spread out and dead. Now this is my favorite domestic bird, those big beauties with the head that fans that big white crest. I was crestfallen, and no pun. It was surreal to find this. I've been living here on and off and these birds keep showing up in these odd ways. They never did before, lying dead and not tampered with in any obvious way.

There were the crows found dead all over (from poisonous west Nile prevention ridiculousness), making people all over get ill. And the dove that was injured that I nursed to health. And now this lovely creature. I knew the people that showed the interest would back out, and while I was holding the bird to my chest, they continued their round of the grounds, unseeing.

After they left I talked to the bird, telling him he was loved and his life was worthy, as are all of ours. He deserved to have a beautiful burial, and I wrapped him up in a silk scarf and prayed our prayer of the soul. I don't know why he died, as they're were no telling marks of attack. Maybe poison. My dove was cooing crazy last night, but who knows. I live in the kind of place that's big on killing as many so-called pests as possible, so maybe it was something he ate. No matter, beasts

flourish in healthy places and this is not.

I am here in a place where I started in a way, in respect to house-selling. I have changed in some ways. More accepting of being rather than coming and going, while still putting it out there. I said a prayer of thanks on being in the place where I could affect most good for others. It doesn't seem like its here, as there is friction financially that is not honestly changing. I really don't have the knowledge as of yet, as to the whys and wherefores, as to my being here. Who knows how I would act if I got the answers I wanted? I would probably interfere , and not for the highest good. Again, we'll see. I will keep you posted , as you are my comrades. Without you I don't get to be the best me, for sure.
 
supriyanoel said:
KristenLynne and LQB, I am on my way as you say. Maybe I've never not been. As of today the potential buyer backed out. As it was going into contract tomorrow I don't get the percentage of the binder. No matter. What I was feeling after the initial disappointment was something else.

Everyone knows about the Boston happenings, arresting the scapegoat and the cheers of the mindless disgusting hoards that follow as they are told. This house situation makes me put my priorities in order. I will endure however much I must with getting a buyer. What is more important is what I'm doing for anyone else in need? Not when the CHANGING-IN-BIG-WAYS, times come. They're here, have been, and are. I feel I'm shirking what I really can give by getting caught up in this real estate stuff and not taking care of the important things that do begin with me. If they didn't I'd be useless. People are still in dire need after Sandy, of which happened in my town. Hate to say it, I'm much more effective in times of disaster. It's easy to see the situations that are needed more obviously, and I'm ready and able. Its only more deceptive when it appears calm.
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Too bad with that buyer but maybe the new RE agent will be able to attract some attention. Unfortunately the Boston FF probably doesn't help right now.

supriyanoel said:
My eating has been off, and when its off, as far as i can feel, I'm not feeling what I had been feeling. Which is a whole intense load of emotion, that was being maintained by EE breathing and diet, a little trippy but hey, that's what happens to this individual. I just mean emotions on a deeper level and communication expansive, light, and then voila! The choice to fear and pick up dairy.Like an addict. Maybe not too long but lets not lie. If I really understand what was going on on many levels, and had faith, I would not choose denial. Choosing fear and its components is too scary and it is not working, which is good. If I pay attention. So I stopped eating what was numbing. Was feeling too good for too long, started a program of self-obsession, and there you go.
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You've probably read the accounts of many who let their diet slip in the directions of grains/dairy and paid dearly for a good while. So getting that fixed should be a priority. Clarity of thought and aim is a must.
 
Yes, since Boston there has been a lull, and since that time it appears there are some lesson being learned by me that are integral to the process of growth.

One of these lessons came in the form of racial remarks made by 2 parties. One had to do with a personal situation, where some slur was made, sickening me, and ending that relationship that was very new and going no where as far as taking it to any other level. The fact that I didn't respond or react in any of my usual ways, such as defending or begrudging anyone their hatefulness, was new and necessary. I got out of there as soon as I left the moving vehicle, never to return, or speak my mind.

Interestingly enough the other incident happened today as a real estate agent and I were showing my house. The reason i am involved is that I've seen the ineptitude of most of them, no , all of them, as far as knowing whats what and where is what. The house has places that most can't seem to locate, even within the house, much less out. It's amazing what people who are in a business of knowing what and where things are in a house goes unattended and overlooked. It's their job to know and it is whats gonna make them money, and they stand there and look around, referring to piece of paper that seems as if its a map to hidden treasure. It is actually, lol, so I help.

Today a couple, with every whiny child, came from Montenegro, and liked what they saw. They liked all the antiques, which have nothing to do with the house, but fit the type of house perfectly. It's a selling point to the right person. Theman doesn't usually care about that, as he is looking what he can do to break down, expand, make some noise and money etc. This is only my take at what I've seen.

The man in the nicely coiffed, upwardly mobile European unit, asked about the neighbors, so I started telling him what each does. He didn't care about that , being more interested in the color of the skin. Any "black ", he meant. And said. I only realized later as I said, "no, Italian mostly, and Spanish", my tenant being Spanish. I answered what he asked, without judging him or being miffed. It doesn't matter what I think, as he is looking to buy a house, not search his soul.

Later, I realized, the realtor was black. I was tempted to call her and apologize, but then I caught myself, realizing that she too is doing her job, and who am I to go apologizing for others choices. The only one we know with a racial problem for sure the potential buyer, and maybe being from another country, or whatever the reason, he still is choosing.

So strategic enclosure is saying, protect me from my own perceptions and the attitudes they bring up, since it is not my business. And external consideration is not assuming I have all the information, nor do I need to protect or defend anyone other than myself. So of coarse it went smoothly, simply, and didn't leave me with a bad taste because i really don't KNOW anything other than what my business is, what transpired and the possible outcome, that COULD be beneficial because I learned something. To stay out of the way, unless it concerned any knowledge of the situation, and THATS ALL.

It feels a little strange because its calm, no matter what all the issues SEEM to be. For a period, I didn't want to do the work. I wanted to go on punishing myself and others, because I wasn't sure that I really deserved to live fully. Its the truth. After my MOM and Grandmom died, they were my attachments that I had no idea had such a stronghold on me until I hit bottom with my anger. The bottom being the admission of my behavior not serving me, or others.

I played it by saying what I wanted to say when I wanted to say it, really pushing the envelope. Until it scared me into wanting to live. It's the way I learn, I'm aware that I sabotaged situations just so i could get scared enough to admit I really believe I may be worthy, and decide to embrace my life fully. It took a lot of revisiting childhood and remembering, releasing, accepting, trusting. Issues that brought the anger out and directed it at the perpetrators, instead of myself. The work is never done, and each time a loss is perceived, more work on the same issues come forth in deeper ways, or else the feelings get suppressed. I am not on this wheat/gluten/dairy/sugar/soy free way of eating for long. I can see and feel it has changed me, but its still slow or appears to be in places where my mind is being refurbished.

I have lowered the price of my home, am cleaning in and out and I am seeing results. Still a lot to get rid of, and that's slow cause I am doing it by myself, for the most part. I don't care for the responses I've received when asking for help with this. I think I'm supposed to do this. Help comes when I really need it, so obviously I'm O.K. In fact if I knew manual labor was so much less work than what it takes being around most people, I choose this. I like it, its just heavy and hard on the body, so must be paced. Lifting really heavy things, well I just push them around or give them away. I'm not playing programs, i don't think, I check. I'm learning a lot and seeing what I need to release just by doing it all myself. It's probably the only way to get past the resistance to change. This living is really work. And I don't want to do it alone. It's too much for me. I need some other living beings to share the weight. Unless the Wave and I merge soon. That is for another topic, although it is probably the only real topic. And meeting the totality of my being if for only and instant, emerging in 4D. To be or not to be. In the meantime....thanks for listening
 
supriyanoel said:
Yes, since Boston there has been a lull, and since that time it appears there are some lesson being learned by me that are integral to the process of growth.

One of these lessons came in the form of racial remarks made by 2 parties. One had to do with a personal situation, where some slur was made, sickening me, and ending that relationship that was very new and going no where as far as taking it to any other level. The fact that I didn't respond or react in any of my usual ways, such as defending or begrudging anyone their hatefulness, was new and necessary. I got out of there as soon as I left the moving vehicle, never to return, or speak my mind.
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Sometimes it's best to just walk away, or let those who have nothing or not enough to offer go away on their own. This can apply in the contexts of both personal interactions and financial transactions.

Several decades ago I met a woman at a classy uptown bar and we fell in with each other about this time of year. An early weekend excursion didn't go well when a pipe fell off a pickup truck just ahead of us on the freeway. I didn't swerve to avoid it and risk rolling the car at 70mph, and it smacked into my black Mazda RX7's windshield, showering both of us with slivers of glass. We pulled off the road, then went home, but perhaps I should have taken that as a sign. She was outwardly rather unfazed, and she sprung for an Allman Brothers concert and a Jimmy Buffet concert before a baseball game. I don't think we were in love, but we were in our mid-30s and apparently didn't have much else to do.

She was a Stanford graduate, so not an unintelligent woman. However, that fact was among the first things she told me and, as another lady friend at the time observed, that's not something you expect to hear directly from those who are so fortunate, at least not soon in a high class acquaintanceship.

Then she invited me to visit her parents on the fourth of July, and her parents, who were in their 70s as I recall, apparently were in favor of that when they drove about 75 miles up to the city to meet me. So I took her to her parents' house in a rural town about 50 miles south and 25 miles east of the city where we lived. Her father owned the sawmill in that town and in fact the town was named for the mill, but I never could have foreseen what I encountered there that day.

She had an older sister, and the sister and her husband were there. They owned a chain of second tier department stores located in small cities in western states. Much later, I bought a necktie in one of their stores in Fresno, CA, while I was traveling too light on business and forgot to pack neckties.

The sister and her husband were a total loss. They were at least half blotto before we arrived, after driving down there, and apparently her sister's only interest was fighting verbally with everyone else. It wasn't intellectual, either, but just shrill emotional, psychological attacks on her younger sister and their parents. They all had decades of experience at this, so I was entirely lost and aghast with them.

What struck me most, though, was that my female companion at this cozy little family gathering was quite happy, even enthusiastic to rip into her mother for a raft of transgressions of both commission and omission, in front of not only the rest of her family but me, her boyfriend who had just met them.

I don't know about you, but where I come from you don't denounce or humiliate your mother in front of strangers, or even close friends, in her own house.

I never called her again.

She appeared in another bar in the city about a month later on the arm of another man who seemed quite attentive. I caught her stare, but looked away. I had no remaining interest in such a vicious woman, having weighed the looming lifetime of meaningless psychological and emotional drama she obviously threatened against the potential financial and social advantages of remaining involved with her, and deciding against continuing a relationship with her. I sincerely hope that she found happiness with someone eventually, but I'm serene to have rejected that.

As to your adventures with real estate agents, Supriyanoel, I'd advise you to acquire as much data that bears on the value of your house as you can find, in order to avoid getting punked in your sale.
 
Looking at what and who we attract during times of upheaval, and especially fear from the emotional mind, it is no surprise. At these times the programs are chomping at the bit to be acted on. Hindsight is 20/20 when you want to see it clearly and are prepared for what the predators in all parties have in mind.

One of my programs is allowing others to put the proverbial carrot to my nose seducing me to an easier way out. Which is what this man did. The lie I told myself was to be openminded and not to judge just because there was no immediate attraction. That I shouldn't push someone away because their beliefs or mental agility or whatever wasn't up to par. Meanwhile looking at this. I wouldn't give this person too much of a second conversation. I was in a fearful situation where all my fears were kicking in, someone comes along wanting to give me access to material needs . I entertain it for a while just going so far while my program of "my load is so big,let me allow someone to share their wealth, and make my life easier". Of coarse it didn't work because I caught it and the lunch didn't get eaten. It didn't get eaten all the way. Maybe a crust, and THAT was way too much. Once I know it's a lie I have to be in a stubborn angry place to allow even that. And I payed enough with the self-recrimination and self worth issues, which of coarse didn't work. Had to go and release take a step backward, and Voila, I believe it transpired the way it did, because I fell back on my diet and ate dairy. It all works together and I could see it happen. It was not really a surprise at some of the things that came out of his mouth. Then again, look what went into mine. No blame, however the food kicks up the programs effectiveness, OSIT. It's just like an alcoholic that relapses. The relapse happens before the drink. You have a chance of getting honest before that drink. After, you are not in control. The cleaner the body gets, the more responsibility. I pushed the envelope, and theres no such thing as a little. Maybe degrees, but still it is a lot of hard work to get on track. Which is why, no matter what else is happening, the food has to be a priority

And maybe this is why the house isn't selling. I certainly having something to do with it, and may be holding it back The more fear that I am

connecting with, the more I may have a part in pushing it away. Today I waited for a showing, and got a call to rearrange the time, and then noshow. Interesting.

I was reading and looking at North Carolina, as I'm won't to do, and realized I really like the mountainous areas, streams, cost of living. In my musings I also picked up Bringers of the Dawn, by Barbara Marciniak, again. Lo and behold North Carolina starts coming up again in the beginning of the book. I always see a yellow house in my imagination, and I'm not particularly fond of the color on the outside of a house. Be that as it may, I am looking at the MLS, multiple listings, and see this yellow house. I go take a look and it had the sort of artwork I rarely see on anyones walls, in one of the pictures. Now Barbara M. talk about Pliadeans, who are really the same 6D light beings, only transmitting from Cassiopaea. At least at the time of the writing book. OSIT. I forgot the transcript that mentions this, but I'm mentioning it because I'm asking the universe to guide me and the next picture of this yellow house has the letter "C" all over the walls, a lot of big "C"'s, for a reason unknown to me. So whether that is conformation or not, I was asking out loud with the book on my side while on the computer, I don't rightly know.

I asked again out loud, laughing, saying this can't be. And the next slide, more "C's"!LOL. And Barbara was just talking about trust. So there you have it. I asked for conformation after guidance and this happened. so I probably feel strongly about this place. Now to commit to intending it is another story. I am watching my emotions and EEing. I have a lot of disciplined work ahead of me. Actually no, just this moment.
 
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