Do I stay or do I go-on moving alone

[supriyanoel]

Well, I am still here. Despite having the house up for sale for the last 4 months, I have got only one bite. I will say the realtor was someone who I bonded to and was able to help her, or so she says with listening and guiding her about things in her life. THAT is not what the purpose was.But perhaps it was. Perhaps I was not ready. I could of changed realtors at any time, as she wasn't the best.So it seems the care of the soul came before the care of the body. It is obviously what I chose was preferable than moving. Sounds insane, being that my financial position is at best precarious. I may of kept her in order to not deal with my situation. She wasn't that bad, just not that assertive.

So, I am back at square one, and during this time I have learned many things. Things that have better prepared my house for selling, I think. I have learned to do some cement work, some upholstery, made pathways out of stone and slate in the big garden, rearranged the whole house so it looks bigger, and painted a lot. Also some wallpaper. Maybe this is what is needed, because now I am selling it myself for a while on craigslist. My cousin sold his nextdoor, so why can't I ? I have many reasons why and they are all lame. So we'll see. If that doesn't work I will choose another realtor.

I do not know yet where i will go, and it just overwhelms me thinking I need to know so I will wait for the time and rent for a while after the sale.

There is great attachment associated to this place, as being a safe haven all my life. So it took time and I hope I am ready. My actions speak in case I don't know, so my mirror is with me showing me on a daily basis. I am a slow learner it seems. The kind of. person who holds on to programs till there is illness, so I am aware of the severity of my inaction. Judging from my mindstate I am more than ready. Libras like me excel at mental pingpong until there is only pong, which can take a while. Changing the diet will change the mind. That and an exorcism and the continuing maintenance, lol. But it's true the diet does affect the decisionmaking totally.

I've been practicing my EE breathing daily which is of great help. Otherwise it's too easy to live in a really deluded state. I'm still resistant. It's daily practice and what I ingest that balances me or not. I am getting tired of my sacred cows though, and that is some progress. You really can't serve self alone for long if you use the tools. It make me aspire to STO, so I must want that. It's just a big delusional cow, though, so it is what I choose it to be. Making a choice seems to be very hard for me.

 

[herondancer]

So, I am back at square one, and during this time I have learned many things. Things that have better prepared my house for selling, I think. I have learned to do some cement work, some upholstery, made pathways out of stone and slate in the big garden, rearranged the whole house so it looks bigger, and painted a lot. Also some wallpaper. Maybe this is what is needed, because now I am selling it myself for a while on craigslist. My cousin sold his nextdoor, so why can't I ? I have many reasons why and they are all lame. So we'll see. If that doesn't work I will choose another realtor.

I do not know yet where i will go, and it just overwhelms me thinking I need to know so I will wait for the time and rent for a while after the sale.

There is great attachment associated to this place, as being a safe haven all my life. So it took time and I hope I am ready. My actions speak in case I don't know, so my mirror is with me showing me on a daily basis. I am a slow learner it seems. The kind of. person who holds on to programs till there is illness, so I am aware of the severity of my inaction. Judging from my mindstate I am more than ready. Libras like me excel at mental pingpong until there is only pong, which can take a while. Changing the diet will change the mind. That and an exorcism and the continuing maintenance, lol. But it's true the diet does affect the decisionmaking totally.

Try not to beat yourself up about it. This house has great meaning for you, and it's understandable that you would be reluctant to let it go, even if it is unconscious. There have been other members who have gone through the same pattern of back and forth until they were truly ready to change the circumstances of their lives, whether it be selling a beloved home, changing jobs, or leaving an inappropriate relationship. The child part of you may need reassurance that even though they are leaving this safe situation, there will be another that will be different but equally safe. What did you feel needed exorcising?

In any case, the delay has allowed you to develop some new skills that helped make your house a warm and inviting place for its new owner. And while craigslist is a great place to advertise, I hope that you will still have a good real estate lawyer draw up the final papers when you do find a buyer. There are several realtors in my family, and I've heard some real horror stories about FSBO (for sale by owner) deals. Please make sure you're protected. If you choose another realtor in the end, remember they are working for you. It's a professional relationship. You have pinpointed that the extra dimension of your relationship with the last realtor did seem to hold up the sale of your place. Now you appear more prepared to move forward.

Since you mention diet, how is your diet? You seem to feel it's contributing to your sense of indecision.

I've been practicing my EE breathing daily which is of great help. Otherwise it's too easy to live in a really deluded state. I'm still resistant. It's daily practice and what I ingest that balances me or not. I am getting tired of my sacred cows though, and that is some progress. You really can't serve self alone for long if you use the tools. It make me aspire to STO, so I must want that. It's just a big delusional cow, though, so it is what I choose it to be. Making a choice seems to be very hard for me.

Good that you are doing EE daily, just not the beatha I hope. That should be done only twice a week tops. I'm not really sure what you mean by the bolded part. Could you explain a little bit?

 

[griffin]

Well, I am still here. Despite having the house up for sale for the last 4 months, I have got only one bite.

I concur that you needed to find a better agent, and that it was a professional relationship that should not have been mixed up with personal counseling. I also concur that you must find a good real estate lawyer to help you negotiate the sale and review the paperwork, if you plan to sell the place yourself.

You might be able to save the real estate agent's commission that way, less the attorney's fee, but the assistance of a good realtor who really works for you might not be much more expensive and worth it. A good realtor will be honest with you and help you attract buyers willing to pay your price, and the multiple listing service has far more reach than Craigslist. Consider all the pros and cons.

You might ask around to select another realtor, and interview several. Of course they will all try to sign you up immediately, but you can take your time, ask for references and check them. A good realtor will be able to show you attractive listings that they've sold, and satisfied client references.

So, I am back at square one, and during this time I have learned many things. Things that have better prepared my house for selling, I think.

That's all good. Be honest with yourself about the property's weaknesses, and be willing to decide whether can afford to pay for any needed repairs or will sell for less. Again, a realtor can help you, and should be able to provide examples of comparable sales to support the advice they offer you.

I do not know yet where i will go, and it just overwhelms me thinking I need to know so I will wait for the time and rent for a while after the sale.

You mentioned earlier that you were considering moving to Portland, OR. That's where I live, and I think you could do worse than move here, though natives generally discourage most newcomers.

 

[supriyanoel]

Thank you all for your support. Using craiglist is a bit iffy, however I don't even let them in the door until the are pre-qualified and can also show the amt they are qualified for. I already know what needs repairs and how much they would be, however that is the reason for the much lower price I also have a sign up with phone number. On craigslist many are looking for cheaper homes and you have to really know what to ask, which I've learned. I've done a lot of research into the business, as I do have some friends that are also in it. It's a tough sell to get a good price for many reasons. I know usually when they come in if it's for them, that is why I've trimmed the fat so to speak, when I ask over the phone. Many times the realtors, in the past have explained very little and they don't know what to say when they walk thru the door. They get lost, don't do their homework, and I wind up doing the tour and the talking, which is why I decided to sell myself. In that way I'm pretty good.

They problems have been whether I'm making the right decision, timing, weighing my options, where to go. The emotional attachments are of coarse hard, but what is harder is being clear on where to go, and if staying what I would have to do. I don't know if any of you are interested in astrology. I am a Lira, Gemini rising, Aquarius moon, and is is no picnic when making a decision like this. I even have to laugh. So the bottom line is am I willing to jump into the unknown by myself and 2 dogs and 2 birds. I keep thinking maybe the comets will spare me having to decide. Even Sandy didn't affect the decision for long. Hurricane that is, which was in my actual area.

I know how manipulative my mind can be, so I must keep it simple. It feels like prison, not because of emotion, but financially. If I keep that up front I am sane. I also eat a lot of fat, meat, much bone broth, little fruit and veggies. Green leaves, no nightshades,no wheat, gluten, sugar, some dairy(goat cheese, organic milk, some org. yogurt) No sugar. I do use stevia. I also drink a lot of water, distilled.

So alas, I have a buyer. Maybe 2. The first loves it, however the price is kinda low, but I don't have to pay the commission of an agent, plus I also don't have to pay capital gains due to the kind of situation I have. And the woman's name is Hope, of all things.The second is my next door neighbor who is willing to pay somewhat more, which would make him the owner of a large parcel of land. In New York, which is unusual in the place I live. So I am waiting on his answer. I predict he reneges, and it is Hope I am left with. If he doesn't I will eat my socks.

So there it is. After all this time, finally it is me who sells it, and yes I have a good attorney. This will allow me to be free of all debts, no matter how small, and be clear on that account, which is important to me, no matter how insidious they may be, they are still debts to issues I agreed upon. Like the shifty dealings that are way over-the-top regarding dentistry. However I was not forced. The door was open and my will went through it. Free will could not of been abridged, lest I complied. What do you do when it is a choice between having a toothless side of the mouth or not? I have ridiculously nice looking teeth. Ridiculous in the cost. This and other things went into the decision, all levels. So it takes a Libran time. And time is a tickin, and I know that, so yes it's intense.

And God knows the beatha, which used to have less of an effect, is certainly doing it's job now, and only 2wice a week. The EE, always. It's such a natural part of me now, that from years of abdominal breathing and transitioning into EE from other kinds of breath I had used, I use this exclusively. I don't even like teaching other breathwork, but this is for those who ask and I don't teach it to many. I let them know about it and have them watch on you tube, but they are few and far between. To try to teach people to move with abdominal breath in yoga is one of the most curious things. For another thread perhaps. Let me just say 2 out of 10 is being generous.

So now it's where. I've read all I can get my hands on in the threads. Not really any closer. When I did start liking eastern Tennessee, I kept remembering what the C's said about it. Something, I think about a nuclear plant, and research shows there are a few around there and one there have been incidents with right around the area of Erwin and Johnson city. One in SoddyDaisy too. So that is sort of nixing that idea. It lead me to all the powere plants in the US. There are none in West Virginia, and one in Maryland that I was looking at. I can picture me and the animals in the middle of these woods, canning and preserving. And then digging a secret room where supplies are kept, or where I am kept during some catastrophic event. Hopefully among st some people I meet with like-minded ways, so I am not alone. I may be in relatively good shape and not look my age, but I am my age, 59. I tell no one this, BTW. I would scare some of the younger ones. They and I, have to be eased into it at some point. It's one of them that I want to "will" anything to. I have no close relatives.

SOOOO.. I don't want to thwart this moving in some way because I am undecided as to the "where?" If I THOUGHT i could live overseas and work I would. Most countries, you have citizenship or buy a piece of property where some of these counties give you citizenship. You can't go to Cost Rica and just work. You can in a couple like Dominica, I believe. Norway you cannot, I believe. I have students that tell me people in Europeon countries that are from U.S work there, but I don't want to take illegal chances. I teach Yoga, and if I can prove that the country needs by special unique brand that one of their citizens do not have, then maybe. Also I have Italian Grandparents and their paperwork on immigration, so after 2 years or so I may be granted citizenship. But what until then? I want to be of use to the palnet, it;s not about running for the hills, so I am flexible and adapt very easily to all sorts of conditions. So if there is a reason for my being there, I will go. I've done some good work here, so anywhere I am if there are people who hurt that want to feel better or feel good and want to feel great, I can be of service. Of coarse there are no free lunches, so I work better with people who are willing to forego laziness, for whatever the reason. Usually pain, but not always. Any thoughts, insights suggestions, would be so appreciated. You have already given me much of your time and thoughtfulness. I notice and am very grateful. You are really some diligent folks, and I feel your motives and hear them to be unselfish.

 

[supriyanoel]

I am now in contract with a buyer who is lenient enough to give me time to look for a place to live 60 days after the closing. Which is very tolerant. The catch 22 is that I can't actually search and buy anything until the closing, til I have the funds to do so. In the meantime I am also applying for a line of credit that can be of assistance during this time where anything can happen. The boiler could go, and with a tenant, that would be disastrous, with weather at 20 some odd degrees. This would also enable me to travel and look for a suitable place. I am trying to cover all bases.It just so happens that I reconnected to a long lost friend who is a loan and title officer who is trying to help. The thought of the boiler going with animals and people to consider is utmost in my mind.

I have checked out Portland and some of the people who live there complain about the constant greyness and drizzle for very long periods. Also high rents and taxes, and a great homeless population that appears to be volatile. This is only what I read on Sperlings. They made it appear as though gangs of homeless people were wandering the streets and approaching cars with demands for money. And the so-called hipster community was not very friendly either, saying people were vociferously left-wing new agey and frowned on anyone who wasn't. Only what I read, so who knows. I don't know about the Puget Sound, but I remember the C's mentioning something about that area. Will have to find that piece, along with something also said about Tennessee, which I've yet to find. Of coarse these are opinions and nothing but, that may have some truth within.

It futhers one to have somewhere to go, which was said when I threw the I Ching. I find when I am very clear about my question, it is often so uncanny and specific. It has been mosey helpful in these recent times for me. I suggest to anyone who is willing to take time and patience to meditate on the comments and judgments the book presents. The original with the Richard Wilhelm translations is awesome, I find. There is also a translation by Taoist Master Alfred Huang and a version another Taoist Thomas Cleary that I find helpful.

 

[Laura]

supriyanoel, are you a member of FOTCM?

 

[griffin]

Hmm, 60 days to find another place might be generous of your buyer, but it's not a lot of time if you don't already know where you want to look. Therefore you might want to decide where to look soon, rather than after closing, and do some real research to decide, instead of collecting anecdotal data.

I'd suggest that you choose a region first - new england, mid-atlantic, southeast, south, midwest or upper midwest, plains, mountain, southwest, northwest - based upon weather and economic factors. Each region has its pros and cons, but some have more than others on one side or the other. Then look at the states and major metropolitan areas in that region. Again, each will have pros and cons.

You can be methodical about it, if you want. Build a simple spreadsheet with regions in the leftmost column with the states you include in each in parentheses, and columns to the right for what's most important to you, in order, whether that's climate and weather, economic health, housing prices and cost of living, dominant politics or whatever. Then list the pros and cons of each region within each column and score them, plus or minus 1 - 3 or 1 - 5. Do a little research to decide on scores with a basis in objective facts - data like where nuclear plants are located, median incomes, house prices, plus anything else that looks like objective evidence and strikes your fancy. This is for you after all.

Once you do that for regions and add up your scores, it should become obvious to you where you want to look further. Then do the same for the major metropolitan areas in your chosen region. At your age (and pardon me for mentioning it) you probably don't want to be hours away from a good medical facility, if you're planning to buy a home and spend several decades there. That probably makes remote rural areas unattractive for you, so you'll likely want to be somewhere around a city.

Go through the same process with cities. As with regions, you might disqualify some rather quickly. Los Angeles, death trap in a major earthquake! San Francisco, far too expensive and no parking! Or whatever you think is significant. For the ones that seem reasonable, do a little more research, and you'll probably be able to cut down your list to just a few, or perhaps merely one, metro area.

When you've selected a shortlist of cities, then you might get in touch with real estate agents, tell them about your situation and generally what you're looking for, and select one in each city who is willing to work with you, educate you about sections of the city and various neighborhoods, and in general help guide you to properties in their area that you might be interested in seeing, after your house sale closes. If you decide on one city, of course this immediately becomes a lot easier to do.

That's what I'd suggest, but you might instead decide to put your furniture in storage for awhile and try out cities as a renter until you find one that agrees with you well enough to want to buy a house.

 

[griffin]

Here's some data for your search, Noel. It's even presented visually, and with some historical context.

http://www.sott.net/article/270226-Over-half-the-USA-covered-in-snow-the-most-in-11-years

I don't know about your preferences, but I'd certainly prefer not to look for another place to live in some locale that typically gets a lot of snow in winter, because that necessarily involves very cold weather.

To balance the picture, you might also look for areas that are subject to searing heat or muggy heat and/or drought, in order to avoid them.

Thus, if you don't like snow and cold, then the entire upper midwest through the northeast states might be less attractive. If you don't like searing heat, then Arizona and New Mexico probably aren't for you, and if 90 degrees and 90 percent humidity isn't your idea of fun, then you can write off most southeast areas and much of the south. However, there might be small areas in any region that are still attractive. Some of those areas aren't really small. For example, the areas around Seattle and Portland, and the entire inland areas of California stretching up to the Sierras are mostly snow free.

Most of California around the cities and Washington near Seattle are in real estate bubbles, lately, so pay attention to the economic aspects, too. But their attractive weather has a lot to do with that.

Here's a true story. More than 20 years ago I was reassigned to a Principal at one of the then Big-8 IT management consulting firms following a merger acquisition. He told me this story. Apparently he was living in a suburb of Chicago and had been asked by his company to relocate to Los Angeles. When he told his wife about the opportunity, she - who had slipped on the ice on their driveway and been injured - proceeded to inform him quite directly, "If you screw this up, we're getting a divorce."

Just more grist for your mill. I wish you all the best in choosing another area to settle down in and a new home.