BrendaH
Jedi
Hi.
As I mentioned in my introduction the first time I joined the forum, I’ve always dreamed about parallel realities. In those realities, things that happened in "another life," very similar to this one, would later manifest here — or the other way around. Most often, it was the other way around.
In this reality, many years ago, there was a moment when my mom died. Since many things that happened in that other life also ended up happening here, I used to ignore them. I didn’t want to believe they could become real. It scared me. I didn’t want them to happen.
I won’t make this a long story. I’ll summarize it: my mom passed away three months ago. And of course, I’m not okay.
Last night, before falling asleep, maybe in search of some kind of explanation, I thought a lot about that other reality. I wanted to connect with it to try to understand my mom’s death. What I really needed to know was whether she knew she was going to die. Because the way things happened was very strange.
When she died, I asked for a sign. I said: “If you’re okay, give me a sign, and I’ll stop asking.” The sign came. But the doubt remained. That unanswered question stayed with me: Did she know she was going to die?
The situations were really odd. My mom, who had always been afraid of death, suddenly accepted it. She didn’t have a terminal illness. Yes, she had health problems, but nothing that suggested death was near. It wasn’t cancer or anything that would say, “she’s going to die soon.”
So, I wanted to connect with that other reality to try to understand this puzzle. I don’t know if I succeeded or not. Something strange happened. I didn’t fall asleep as I usually do. It felt different. It was as if a part of my body detached from me. I thought it was just exhaustion, that I was overly relaxed. Lately, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m grieving. Sometimes I only get three hours of sleep a night, and it affects me in every way.
In the dream, I talked to many people. They were telling me things that made no sense to me, but did to them. It was all coherent to them. That always happened when I somehow “connected” with that other reality. In those moments, I would usually avoid interfering, because it wasn’t my world, and I didn’t know what was going on.
I don’t remember the sequence very clearly. A lot happened. I think at the beginning I dreamed about the Pope. There was a church, but everything was wrong. The wrong Pope had been chosen. I have no idea how that connects to my story.
Then I focused on trying to find my mom. I talked to people, but I don’t remember what I said. During moments of clarity, I was aware I was dreaming and tried to wake myself up.
I saw an Eye of Horus on my window, glowing like a rainbow — kind of like those vinyl stickers that reflect sunlight. I’d go out looking for answers. When I couldn’t find them, I’d return to my room. I’d try to turn on the light, but it stayed off. That’s when I realized I was still dreaming.
Whenever I experience sleep paralysis, I use a technique to come back: I start with my feet, like an anchor. But this time it didn’t work. And I already knew it wouldn’t, because this wasn’t sleep paralysis. It was something else. I couldn’t control what was happening. It was like a lucid dream, but different. I couldn’t even feel my body.
I knew exactly how much control I had. Still, I felt a strange calm. I felt my mom’s presence. I had even asked her and Jesus for protection. I’m not religious, but it’s like when a plane hits turbulence — we all become believers for a moment.
That calm existed within a deep unease: I couldn’t return to reality or find any answers. I didn’t know what part was real, what was the dream, what was coming from me, and what wasn’t. I tried to breathe calmly. I couldn’t wake up. It was awful.
Every time I went out looking for answers and didn’t find them, I’d go back to my room. I’d try to turn on the light. Nothing worked.
At one point, a little boy appeared. I asked him to tell me my mom was dead. Maybe I needed to hear it out loud to break the loop and wake up. The boy told me: “Your mom is dead.” But it wasn’t enough. I already knew. I asked him to say it in a harsher way. Maybe I needed to hear it in different words. But that didn’t work either.
I went back to my room. I sat on the floor, in the dark. With nothing left to lose, I gave in. I felt like I was sinking, falling fast. And while falling, I remembered the Eye of Horus. I looked at it. I said: “I’m going to get closer — I have nothing to lose. Otherwise, I’ll never get out of this loop.”
When I got closer, the scene changed. I looked out the window. I saw three bodies, like there had been a murder. But I knew it wasn’t literal, or what mattered. It was symbolic.
I asked what had happened. Someone told me that someone went mad and killed the others. I don’t remember clearly. Then I asked about Ana, a friend of my mom’s. She appeared behind me.
I asked her: “And my mom? Where is she? What happened to her?”
She said: “She went on a trip,” and mentioned a name I don’t remember.
I asked again: “With who?” I briefly thought I might be interfering with that reality by not recognizing someone who was familiar there.
She answered with a name, but used a nickname. And she added: “I didn’t know she was called that either.”
And that’s when I woke up.
I knew I was awake because I heard the sound of the fan that was on. That’s when it all ended.
Before going to sleep, I had a terrible headache. I had been crying a lot. I didn’t have anything to relieve it. I got up and almost desperately asked my mom to help me find something in her room because the pain was unbearable — my head, my eyes, my ears, everything hurt. Finally, I found a single pill lying on the floor in a blister, under her nightstand.
The pain still hasn’t gone away. It’s now 6:22 a.m. in Argentina. All of this has happened since around 4:30 a.m., when I woke up.
I just wanted to share this, as a way to release it. Also because of how strange and particular the dream was — and these loops that I’ve experienced occasionally when dreaming about that other reality... assuming that’s what it was.
I'm going to stay awake now because I'm afraid of falling asleep again. Lately, it's been really hard for me to get any rest, and it's frustrating because I'm constantly exhausted and have so many responsibilities—tomorrow, during the week, and in general. I'm struggling to keep up with everything, and the lack of sleep is making me irritable. I know that tomorrow I probably won’t sleep either, or the day after that, and so on.
Thanks for reading.
As I mentioned in my introduction the first time I joined the forum, I’ve always dreamed about parallel realities. In those realities, things that happened in "another life," very similar to this one, would later manifest here — or the other way around. Most often, it was the other way around.
In this reality, many years ago, there was a moment when my mom died. Since many things that happened in that other life also ended up happening here, I used to ignore them. I didn’t want to believe they could become real. It scared me. I didn’t want them to happen.
I won’t make this a long story. I’ll summarize it: my mom passed away three months ago. And of course, I’m not okay.
Last night, before falling asleep, maybe in search of some kind of explanation, I thought a lot about that other reality. I wanted to connect with it to try to understand my mom’s death. What I really needed to know was whether she knew she was going to die. Because the way things happened was very strange.
When she died, I asked for a sign. I said: “If you’re okay, give me a sign, and I’ll stop asking.” The sign came. But the doubt remained. That unanswered question stayed with me: Did she know she was going to die?
The situations were really odd. My mom, who had always been afraid of death, suddenly accepted it. She didn’t have a terminal illness. Yes, she had health problems, but nothing that suggested death was near. It wasn’t cancer or anything that would say, “she’s going to die soon.”
So, I wanted to connect with that other reality to try to understand this puzzle. I don’t know if I succeeded or not. Something strange happened. I didn’t fall asleep as I usually do. It felt different. It was as if a part of my body detached from me. I thought it was just exhaustion, that I was overly relaxed. Lately, I haven’t been sleeping well. I’m grieving. Sometimes I only get three hours of sleep a night, and it affects me in every way.
In the dream, I talked to many people. They were telling me things that made no sense to me, but did to them. It was all coherent to them. That always happened when I somehow “connected” with that other reality. In those moments, I would usually avoid interfering, because it wasn’t my world, and I didn’t know what was going on.
I don’t remember the sequence very clearly. A lot happened. I think at the beginning I dreamed about the Pope. There was a church, but everything was wrong. The wrong Pope had been chosen. I have no idea how that connects to my story.
Then I focused on trying to find my mom. I talked to people, but I don’t remember what I said. During moments of clarity, I was aware I was dreaming and tried to wake myself up.
I saw an Eye of Horus on my window, glowing like a rainbow — kind of like those vinyl stickers that reflect sunlight. I’d go out looking for answers. When I couldn’t find them, I’d return to my room. I’d try to turn on the light, but it stayed off. That’s when I realized I was still dreaming.
Whenever I experience sleep paralysis, I use a technique to come back: I start with my feet, like an anchor. But this time it didn’t work. And I already knew it wouldn’t, because this wasn’t sleep paralysis. It was something else. I couldn’t control what was happening. It was like a lucid dream, but different. I couldn’t even feel my body.
I knew exactly how much control I had. Still, I felt a strange calm. I felt my mom’s presence. I had even asked her and Jesus for protection. I’m not religious, but it’s like when a plane hits turbulence — we all become believers for a moment.
That calm existed within a deep unease: I couldn’t return to reality or find any answers. I didn’t know what part was real, what was the dream, what was coming from me, and what wasn’t. I tried to breathe calmly. I couldn’t wake up. It was awful.
Every time I went out looking for answers and didn’t find them, I’d go back to my room. I’d try to turn on the light. Nothing worked.
At one point, a little boy appeared. I asked him to tell me my mom was dead. Maybe I needed to hear it out loud to break the loop and wake up. The boy told me: “Your mom is dead.” But it wasn’t enough. I already knew. I asked him to say it in a harsher way. Maybe I needed to hear it in different words. But that didn’t work either.
I went back to my room. I sat on the floor, in the dark. With nothing left to lose, I gave in. I felt like I was sinking, falling fast. And while falling, I remembered the Eye of Horus. I looked at it. I said: “I’m going to get closer — I have nothing to lose. Otherwise, I’ll never get out of this loop.”
When I got closer, the scene changed. I looked out the window. I saw three bodies, like there had been a murder. But I knew it wasn’t literal, or what mattered. It was symbolic.
I asked what had happened. Someone told me that someone went mad and killed the others. I don’t remember clearly. Then I asked about Ana, a friend of my mom’s. She appeared behind me.
I asked her: “And my mom? Where is she? What happened to her?”
She said: “She went on a trip,” and mentioned a name I don’t remember.
I asked again: “With who?” I briefly thought I might be interfering with that reality by not recognizing someone who was familiar there.
She answered with a name, but used a nickname. And she added: “I didn’t know she was called that either.”
And that’s when I woke up.
I knew I was awake because I heard the sound of the fan that was on. That’s when it all ended.
Before going to sleep, I had a terrible headache. I had been crying a lot. I didn’t have anything to relieve it. I got up and almost desperately asked my mom to help me find something in her room because the pain was unbearable — my head, my eyes, my ears, everything hurt. Finally, I found a single pill lying on the floor in a blister, under her nightstand.
The pain still hasn’t gone away. It’s now 6:22 a.m. in Argentina. All of this has happened since around 4:30 a.m., when I woke up.
I just wanted to share this, as a way to release it. Also because of how strange and particular the dream was — and these loops that I’ve experienced occasionally when dreaming about that other reality... assuming that’s what it was.
I'm going to stay awake now because I'm afraid of falling asleep again. Lately, it's been really hard for me to get any rest, and it's frustrating because I'm constantly exhausted and have so many responsibilities—tomorrow, during the week, and in general. I'm struggling to keep up with everything, and the lack of sleep is making me irritable. I know that tomorrow I probably won’t sleep either, or the day after that, and so on.
Thanks for reading.
