Elevator Dream/Thoughts on Job Situation

[Cyre2067]

Unrequited Lady Love in futuristic mall

So this is one I had not last night, but the night before. I spent the last 24 hours trying to wrap my head around it.

I'm in a mall, it's very futuristic with lots of toys on the shelves. I'm feeling rather despondent, and that's when I remember I'm looking for someone. It's this girl, she's blond with short-cropped hair and we sorta had a thing. I was going to tell her that I loved her and that she was 'the one', but when I saw her she stopped me and told me that she never wanted to see me again. The words were lost, but the feeling and flow of the conversation I retained. I was devastated. I asked one of the security guards, who were smart tight suits and were very polite, "How do I leave?" because apparently I didn't know how to get out of there.

He was like, "Oh, just take this red quarter, sit down over there and put it in the slot on the chair. Then just watch the movie."

So I was like okay... I went and sat in these very comfortable push red velvet chairs. They were like theater style but there was only 3 small rows of 4. I plunked down and reached in my pocket for the coin, but when I pulled them out I had 2-3 normal quarters and only one red one. That was when I realized that the red one was only red on one side. I finally found it and pulled it out, looking it over side by side. I saw another guy one chair over and asked him if I was going to remember all this as if it were a dream. His response eludes my memory. But I feel like it was along the lines of "Probably".

I put the red-sided coin in the slot on the armrest. It trickled down and clicked as it went and then I heard a winding buzzing sort of noise, like a gear getting started.

The movie flashed instantly. I couldn't distinguish a thing, but it was a series of colors and images. Then I woke up.

The entire thing was incredibly vivid. It was as if I was actually in a mall, there were people walking around busy about their business, and I felt the emotional state of my 'other-self'. He was really into that girl, and that's a bit odd for me because generally I'm into guys.

The phrase unrequited love really popped into my head when I started thinking about it. More or less, that describes the ends of my first two long-term relationships, one with a girl the other with a guy. I empathized. It was a very strange experience, on one hand I knew I was 'somewhere' and that he wasn't me. But on the other there was a very real sense that he was me on some level.

I also pondered the exit and let my mind sorta extrapolate the context based on what clues I had. The mall was very futuristic, but there were no windows, the air was stale, it was like I was underground. I had the strong impression of being trapped. Even though there were lots of restaurants and toy stores my interest was fleeting. My only interest was this woman and when she dropped me, I was done. I think the chairs were some kind of suicide machine, that the people were living in some sort of bizarre artificial existence somewhere and that they recycle the bodies.

Kinda creepy.

It also really honed in a visceral sense that all this stuff is an illusion, a projection of consciousness; hard to describe in words, it was more of a really self-evident feeling.

 

[RedFox]

The mall could be this world with all it's distractions, that is at least part of the world. The girl may well be part of yourself - perhaps symbolic of the divine feminine/creative side of things? The question here then may be why would you feel rejected by that? Could you 'love' for her be possessive?
The movie/suicide machine sounds like giving up/dissociating (perhaps into movies?).
Disassociation to avoid feeling deep rejection perhaps? Perhaps a warning about where disassociation will lead too?

 

[Cyre2067]

The mall could be this world with all it's distractions, that is at least part of the world. The girl may well be part of yourself - perhaps symbolic of the divine feminine/creative side of things? The question here then may be why would you feel rejected by that? Could you 'love' for her be possessive?
The movie/suicide machine sounds like giving up/dissociating (perhaps into movies?).
Disassociation to avoid feeling deep rejection perhaps? Perhaps a warning about where disassociation will lead too?

Hey Redfox, I'm not sure. If anything I've been embracing my creative side while working on this novel. The impression that I had was that this was a parallel universe of some sort, not a dream. Happens infrequently; I get these hyper-vivid dreams which are distinct from my normal dreams. I've had two others like this, ever, and the memories store like regular memories, not like dreams.

I've also cut way back on my dissociative activities and spend a portion of that free time working on sott and my writing. Appreciate the thoughts nonetheless. :D