I wanted to share something that seemed too profound to just let go. I have moments where I review the knowledge I have and use certain phrases I've learned on the forum (some coming from the C's). But this seemed like something unique was going on. The lead up to this is that Thursday I dissociated a bit and was late for EE so I went to bed late.
On Friday I was really feeling down. But while at work I used it as an opportunity and let the feelings just sit and burn. I charged my water with the thoughts of strength and courage, which is also what I said during EE Thursday between lines of the POTS. I was really feeling down Thursday and having dark depressive thoughts. So my actions Friday led to some insight and I shed a few tears at my desk in private. It was one of those rare days where I was thinking, "I'm going to cry a lot today." And I pretty much picked myself up that morning. It turned out to be a decent day. I think I saw the other side of the coin and took the occasion as an opportunity, knowing that there would be a bounce back.
So the actual event was yesterday, Saturday. I was at about baseline mood most of the day. But I seemed to fall off a bit during the evening because it was my cold shower day and I have resistance to that sometimes (and ironic that the warm weather of recent has made the water temperature warmer). So I watched some youtube videos before taking my shower, and got around to it. I checked social media and then got into bed. The shower is always uplifting, so I was feeling quite good last night.
I was thinking about faith in the future, considering all to come, including the economy. I said the POTS in my mind like usual, and I was saying in between the lines, "Health", because I was having some pains in what seemed to be the left kidney area. I even at one point after all of this, charged my water holding it in my right hand and swirling it clockwise thinking "kidney health" and then drinking it with my left hand and saying or thinking "Thank you", and "I Love you". I usually charge the water with whatever seems needed and it seems pretty effective.
So I was there reciting POTS and also had some thoughts that I was thankful for the day, and even Friday which was emotionally rough. And although I'm usually in an overall sad, cynical, or depressive mood, thanks too for this life overall. I also thought that I want to learn. And I had faith that it would always be available. I have this silly fear that when everything goes crazy on this world, that there won't be still things to learn. The Universe is an infinite school, and even if opportunities are lost, there are other lives, times, dimensions, etc. So by this time I felt a lot of gratitude as well.
The funny thing is that I watched Saturday afternoon the movie Equilibrium, which I've had for a few years but put off thinking it was too violent. It wasn't bad, just a lot of shooting, but it had a really good emotional message. Basically it's about awakening emotions in a totalitarian socitety where drugs are used to suppress them. And at this point I'm still reciting POTS, and I was saying that "I Love you" to the Universe basically, and I started crying. And I noticed my tears were water so thought to charge them too with "I Love you", so that I would sleep with them by me.
At this point I'm thinking of Laura's signature by Agememnon, the line that goes "even in our sleep pain that cannot forget Falls drop by drop upon the heart", which kind of felt what I was going through. And I was thinking that I love the Universe, and that is because I know it, and that is light (Love is light is knowledge). And that I am learning about God, and God is learning about (or through) me (Life is religion. Life experiences reflect how one interacts with God).
And the weird thing was that at this point the crying morphed into laughing. And I'm in bed laughing but tears are still coming out. A sort of happy laughing and great release. And I felt a peace or faith that I could deal with whatever would come. And I kept asking myself, "What's so funny?" but that would seem funnier to me and I would laugh harder. And I thought that this was all an illusion, and that gave me confidence. That even inanimate matter learns that it is all an illusion. And all of this was strengthening for me.
In regards to the economy, at that moment I in this emotional state, thought "Who needs money, when I have the the best currency - emotions?" And I also thought that I was living richly, that is emotionally rich. So through all of this I thought something positive was happening to me. And this sense of faith and hope is still with me.
It's funny how when you ask a sincere question, it comes to you, either in thought, dreams, or life experiences. I was thinking Saturday that the Wave increases what's in you. And I have a lot of fear and anger, but I was asking myself what are the good things in me? And I received the answer last night and that was: Love, faith, hope and gratitude. I also received the courage and strength I was asking for. And I find it ironic that I watched Equilibrium and sort of went through the same theme of awakening emotions that it portrays. I wonder if Iodine is like the anti substance that they take in that movie to suppress emotions?
Anyways, I'm sure there are many more connections that can be made, and tidbits that I may have lost about this. But I wrote most of it down right before finally going to bed so I would remember the most important parts. Just wanted to share and hope this is helpful.
On Friday I was really feeling down. But while at work I used it as an opportunity and let the feelings just sit and burn. I charged my water with the thoughts of strength and courage, which is also what I said during EE Thursday between lines of the POTS. I was really feeling down Thursday and having dark depressive thoughts. So my actions Friday led to some insight and I shed a few tears at my desk in private. It was one of those rare days where I was thinking, "I'm going to cry a lot today." And I pretty much picked myself up that morning. It turned out to be a decent day. I think I saw the other side of the coin and took the occasion as an opportunity, knowing that there would be a bounce back.
So the actual event was yesterday, Saturday. I was at about baseline mood most of the day. But I seemed to fall off a bit during the evening because it was my cold shower day and I have resistance to that sometimes (and ironic that the warm weather of recent has made the water temperature warmer). So I watched some youtube videos before taking my shower, and got around to it. I checked social media and then got into bed. The shower is always uplifting, so I was feeling quite good last night.
I was thinking about faith in the future, considering all to come, including the economy. I said the POTS in my mind like usual, and I was saying in between the lines, "Health", because I was having some pains in what seemed to be the left kidney area. I even at one point after all of this, charged my water holding it in my right hand and swirling it clockwise thinking "kidney health" and then drinking it with my left hand and saying or thinking "Thank you", and "I Love you". I usually charge the water with whatever seems needed and it seems pretty effective.
So I was there reciting POTS and also had some thoughts that I was thankful for the day, and even Friday which was emotionally rough. And although I'm usually in an overall sad, cynical, or depressive mood, thanks too for this life overall. I also thought that I want to learn. And I had faith that it would always be available. I have this silly fear that when everything goes crazy on this world, that there won't be still things to learn. The Universe is an infinite school, and even if opportunities are lost, there are other lives, times, dimensions, etc. So by this time I felt a lot of gratitude as well.
The funny thing is that I watched Saturday afternoon the movie Equilibrium, which I've had for a few years but put off thinking it was too violent. It wasn't bad, just a lot of shooting, but it had a really good emotional message. Basically it's about awakening emotions in a totalitarian socitety where drugs are used to suppress them. And at this point I'm still reciting POTS, and I was saying that "I Love you" to the Universe basically, and I started crying. And I noticed my tears were water so thought to charge them too with "I Love you", so that I would sleep with them by me.
At this point I'm thinking of Laura's signature by Agememnon, the line that goes "even in our sleep pain that cannot forget Falls drop by drop upon the heart", which kind of felt what I was going through. And I was thinking that I love the Universe, and that is because I know it, and that is light (Love is light is knowledge). And that I am learning about God, and God is learning about (or through) me (Life is religion. Life experiences reflect how one interacts with God).
And the weird thing was that at this point the crying morphed into laughing. And I'm in bed laughing but tears are still coming out. A sort of happy laughing and great release. And I felt a peace or faith that I could deal with whatever would come. And I kept asking myself, "What's so funny?" but that would seem funnier to me and I would laugh harder. And I thought that this was all an illusion, and that gave me confidence. That even inanimate matter learns that it is all an illusion. And all of this was strengthening for me.
In regards to the economy, at that moment I in this emotional state, thought "Who needs money, when I have the the best currency - emotions?" And I also thought that I was living richly, that is emotionally rich. So through all of this I thought something positive was happening to me. And this sense of faith and hope is still with me.
It's funny how when you ask a sincere question, it comes to you, either in thought, dreams, or life experiences. I was thinking Saturday that the Wave increases what's in you. And I have a lot of fear and anger, but I was asking myself what are the good things in me? And I received the answer last night and that was: Love, faith, hope and gratitude. I also received the courage and strength I was asking for. And I find it ironic that I watched Equilibrium and sort of went through the same theme of awakening emotions that it portrays. I wonder if Iodine is like the anti substance that they take in that movie to suppress emotions?
Anyways, I'm sure there are many more connections that can be made, and tidbits that I may have lost about this. But I wrote most of it down right before finally going to bed so I would remember the most important parts. Just wanted to share and hope this is helpful.
