Mariama said:
I have researched grief and mourning a bit and can see that what I experience involves the stages of mourning.
I have felt guilty and responsible for assuming Cat would be okay, even though I was (slightly) aware of the threat that my next-door neighbours posed. I somehow completely overlooked that fact.
At one point I thought I was going mad, but that didn't last long, fortunately, although I sometimes think that she is still with us, because I hear and see her. At one point I even started doubting whether she was really dead, terrified of having buried her alive.
My grief may be linked to other losses that I have suffered. My parents had a dog when I was very young and she was like a surrogate mother to me. Although I can't remember her on a conscious level I know that she was very important to me. They had her poisoned or they poisoned her themselves, I don't know, because we had to leave the country where I was born. They just disposed of her as if she was garbage, but she was a living being and I loved her.
I'm very sorry for your loss Mariama, they're gift to us, they're friends and part of the family. I've one too, she come to us 8 year ago with her mom and 3 sisters ( small kitten barely able to walk and the mom also was pretty young ). They had been abandoned on the road side, I probably will never understand things like this but perhaps there's nothing to understand in the light of what we see going on in everyday human affairs; we live in the country so we kept them all, it was wonderful. Now she's alone, mom and one of the sisters went out and never come home :(, the other 2 were gifted to my sister in law, she's a veterinary doctor and love them very much but she also had lost one of the two.
Well, yesterday afternoon, during a sort of time travel of the memory, I ended up leafting through my first english textbook ( I used it in secondary school ) and there I found a charming little poem dedicated to our furry friends, the cats. So here the poem: "The Ad-dressing of Cats " by T.S. Eliot, for you ( I hope it can help lift your spirit, also a little bit ), for our animal friends ( furry and not ), and to all who love and care for them.
The Ad-dressing of Cats
Again I must remind you that
A Dog's a Dog - A CAT'S A CAT.
With Cats, some say, one rule is true:
Don't speak till you are spoken to.
Myself, I do not hold with that-
I say, you should ad-dress a Cat.
But always keep in mind that he
Resents familiarity.
I bow, and taking off my hat,
Ad-dress him in this form: O CAT!
But if he is the Cat next door,
Whom I have often met before
( He comes to see me in my flat )
I greet him with an OOPSA CAT!
I've heard them call him James Buz-James-
But we've never got so far as names.
Before a Cat will condescend
To treat you as a trusted friend,
Some little token of esteem
Is needed, like a dish of cream;
And you might now and then supply
Some caviare, or Strassburg Pie,
Some potted grouse, or salmon paste-
He's sure to have his personal taste.
( I know a Cat,who makes a habit
Of eating nothing else but rabbit,
And when he's finished, licks his paws
So's not to waste the onion sause ).
A Cat's entitled to expect
These evidences of respect.
And so in time you reach your aim,
And finally call him by his NAME.
So this is this, and that is that:
And there's how you AD-DRESS A CAT.
T.S. ELIOT
