Free will and Children

[ajseph 21]

While I don't have any children of my own I've definitely dealt with the backlash from smoking and diet changes in my social life. When I started smoking I almost instantly noticed positive effects but I know the stigma associated with it. My mom her friend and uncle all react with the cancer slogan even calling nicotine poisoning. After going to a chistmas party at Golden Coral I went outside to smoke. While two young kids passed by the sister told her brother to cover his mouth all the while being unaware of the true toxins in the food they were about to eat! But I digress, I can say what got me off of candy dairy etc was the pain involved and eliminating these things took research but since a child isn't going to do this like Alana said it would be best to lead by example but in the end she must choose her own way. You can also try wearing her off that food with homecooking with a "cheat day" like Laura has done as well.

 

[SMM]

What about from the inverse perspective? I have 4 siblings, 3 whom are young than me - aged 5, 9 and 11. At my family home, when I visit, the kitchen contains next to nothing decent enough to it! My parents would ask me questions pertinent to what's with such a lifestyle & I'd inform them to the best of my ability. I'm still young myself, and my family are from East Africa - living in the Western world - so culturally speaking it's confusing as the perspectives are a mixed bag.
Being the child in this instance, and having other children around me, I know my parents have the right to 'decide' what is in the kitchen or how to raise their children...even if it's somewhat based on being ill-informed about the matters.

I have, from as far back as I can remember, been curious, asking questions, looking for answers - this caused a lot of conflict with my parents growing up who seem to prefer the approach of "a child should be seen & not heard." There is an isolating feeling between my family and me now consequently, that not truly belonging despite caring about them - it really hurts sometimes - though the opportunity should remain open for my younger siblings, I feel, to know of what's out there; they do ask me a lot of questions, which my parents don't necessary like me answering as I do, which widens the divide between me & them.

Been a vegetarian for 3 years before & have wondered many times why I didn't go gluten-free earlier.

This thread has some really good pointers though. All group dynamics [inc. with children], for me personally, is where free will comes onto a weird standing.

 

[Alana]

What about from the inverse perspective? I have 4 siblings, 3 whom are young than me - aged 5, 9 and 11. At my family home, when I visit, the kitchen contains next to nothing decent enough to it! My parents would ask me questions pertinent to what's with such a lifestyle & I'd inform them to the best of my ability. I'm still young myself, and my family are from East Africa - living in the Western world - so culturally speaking it's confusing as the perspectives are a mixed bag.

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you dikii?

Being the child in this instance, and having other children around me, I know my parents have the right to 'decide' what is in the kitchen or how to raise their children...even if it's somewhat based on being ill-informed about the matters.

In this case, there's nothing you can do about what foods are in your parents house, other than to answer their questions regarding why you follow the diet you do. But that doesn't mean that your answers will change their mind. It might make your siblings curious though, and if then one day they hear from another source that saturated fat is good for you, or that gluten is bad for you, they might take it to heart? Who knows really, and having expectations regarding other people is projection and wishful thinking, so better not to go down that road (and I am not implying that you are doing this, just a general heads-up).

But, it is also your free will to follow a diet that you chose because of the reading you did. So I wonder if there are any East African dishes that are meaty and fatty, that your mother cooks that you can ask her to make for you when you visit? Or you can say that such and such food and/or ingredient makes you feel sick after you have it, so you can't have it, and take your own food with you when you visit? I don't know, some ideas.

 

[SMM]

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you dikii?

19 years old.

In this case, there's nothing you can do about what foods are in your parents house, other than to answer their questions regarding why you follow the diet you do. But that doesn't mean that your answers will change their mind. It might make your siblings curious though, and if then one day they hear from another source that saturated fat is good for you, or that gluten is bad for you, they might take it to heart? Who knows really, and having expectations regarding other people is projection and wishful thinking, so better not to go down that road (and I am not implying that you are doing this, just a general heads-up).

But, it is also your free will to follow a diet that you chose because of the reading you did. So I wonder if there are any East African dishes that are meaty and fatty, that your mother cooks that you can ask her to make for you when you visit? Or you can say that such and such food and/or ingredient makes you feel sick after you have it, so you can't have it, and take your own food with you when you visit? I don't know, some ideas.

That's what I've done, to date. They are, given the ancestry or traditions, generally understanding even if meal times are set out differently as a result. But I think bringing my own food when I go down there, as it's a bit tricky sorting out a meal whilst there, is okay. It crossed my mind though that they may find it offensive...or think I don't want to eat their food; it's not that.

Mhm, agree on expectations regarding other people. My siblings often ask me why I don't eat gluten, or add sugar to stuff etc. There are plenty of East African dishes that are meaty and fatty, my mother cooks it with vegetable oil mostly. On the odd day she may use olive oil.
In the event of cooking with her if she asks me to help her make something, which is becoming more rare nowadays, I'd ask her if I can use such & such ingredients.