Getting mugged

[Tomek]

Hello there,

I had a little mishap this weekend, and I would like to talk about it on the forum: I need to "get it out", and if it was possible to collect the testimonies of others, about how they manage it, it should probably help me out, and others.

It was Saturday evening. I went to the anniversary of my girlfriend. It was held in the campus of his school, located near Paris. A friend accompanied me, and after an hour of transport, we finally arrived at destination. It only remained to go to school on feet. It's on the path that led to her school that two guys have crossed the road. One was a little back, silent, the other has started to knock of questions: "do you have a smoke? "where are you going? "do you have some credits on your phone ?" and finally "let me see your phone". My answer was "no" to this last question, he began to insult me then.

At this moment, I remember that I was completely disconnected from reality. I was to attend an illusion, and I'm gonna wake up. When, after a few seconds, I resumed my mind, unfortunately I was still on the road, facing the two guys, while my friend tried to play negotiator. Not a chance, of course: after having searched all my pockets, they get some cigarettes, my bank card and my phone. They even made me remove the SIM card from my phone. How great is that ! Should I thanks them ?

The evening was spoiled, like all the rest of the weekend, and even at this hour I still playing in my head a loop of the scene ... I don't know why, however. The feeling of being weak, helpless and stupid has completely taken over on the simple fact that we could not do otherwise. Run? We barely knew where we had to lead, while the two dudes probably know the streets like their own pocket. Fight? My friend and I are not exactly the violent kind, maybe that other people were waiting a little away, ready to pounce on us if a problem occurs. My friend seems to be less affected by this incident than I, since he has not been searched and nothing was stolen from him. I no longer had the strength to beg. I still remember being meekly obey their orders, including when they asked me to remove my SIM card faster.

I feel terribly guilty for what happened. I feel weak, I am angry against myself. I feel like I'm the last crap of the Earth, as a guy who intends to unveil the secrets of the universe and the matrix even though he's not able to face an assault of two poor assholes who, in the end, stole a 3 years old phone that they probably gonna sell for 10€ to an idiot. I feel ugly, dirty and helpless. I can not accept what happened, I imagine a thousand scenarios to find a way not to get attacked by these two assholes, even if there is nothing more to do about this: IT happened. c'est la vie, it happened.

I do not know what to do to digest this story. It seems that there is no experience that can be described as negative, provided that this experience has given us a learning. At this moment, I still feel that I've learned nothing, except perhaps a simple concept of common sense, that we should avoid walking on feet in an area known to be dangerous , but still.

Thank you for taking the time to read, I apologize for my english.

 

[Adaryn]

Hi Polonel,

I'm really sorry for what happened to you. This is indeed traumatizing.
Did you declare the theft at the gendarmerie and filed a complaint?
These guys are probably know to them already.
I know how you feel, I would have felt the same. But I think you acted right and wisely; they might have been armed, so imagine what might have happened to you if you had tried to fight or resist? I guess the streets were desert, with no passers-by to call for help (and even if there had been passers-by, they would probably have turned their head away and quickened their pace).
Your friend already tried to talk to these guys in vain. With these kind of people (robots), negociation doesn't work. Appeal to their "conscience", even less. So the best thing to do is act in "favour of your destiny" and try to get out this situation with the less hurt possible. I know it's hard for the ego but understand that fear is normal in that kind of situation, it doesn't make you a coward. You couldn't have acted otherwise, unless you were, like, Superman maybe? Or a karate master? :)

I feel like I'm the last crap of the Earth, as a guy who intends to unveil the secrets of the universe and the matrix even though he's not able to face an assault of two poor -bad people- who

According to my understanding, wanting to unveil the secrets of the universe has nothing to do with "showing who has the biggest" or putting your life at risk for a stupid cell phone. Don't forget the law of three, too. In this particular situation (where you didn't have to defend someone's/your life, for ex), I think giving them "what they wanted" (a stupid old cell phone and a few cigarettes) was the best thing to do.

I might be wrong and if so, I hope someone will chime in.

 

[anart]

Your friend already tried to talk to these guys in vain. With these kind of people (robots), negociation doesn't work. Appeal to their "conscience", even less. So the best thing to do is act in "favour of your destiny" and try to get out this situation with the less hurt possible. I know it's hard for the ego but understand that fear is normal in that kind of situation, it doesn't make you a coward. You couldn't have acted otherwise, unless you were, like, Superman maybe? Or a karate master? :)
I might be wrong and if so, I hope someone will chime in.

I agree - there was really no other intelligent thing to do in that situation. In fact, the real attack may have developed IF you actively fought back - you basically bent with the attack and didn't actively oppose it - allowing you to get through it physically unscathed. As far as feeling like a 'weakling' - do you think that might really just be programming of what is and what is not strength? In my experience, it takes much more strength to act wisely than to fight back in a situation where you know the odds are against you and you will get hurt or worse. You used your head, even though your programs are now telling you differently - I think you acted the only wise way to act in the situation. osit.

 

[mada85]

Polonel, this was a very difficult situation to find yourself in. It was clearly traumatising for you, but I think you are being too hard on yourself.

I feel terribly guilty for what happened. I feel weak, I am angry against myself. I feel like I'm the last crap of the Earth,

Please remember that you are the victim in this, who happened to fall into the clutches of two predators. If you had not acted as you did, the outcome could well have been much worse for you. You did nothing wrong, and certainly nothing to feel guilty for.

I can not accept what happened, I imagine a thousand scenarios to find a way not to get attacked by these two -bad people-, even if there is nothing more to do about this: IT happened. c'est la vie, it happened.

So the best thing to do is act in "favour of your destiny" and try to get out this situation with the less hurt possible.

I think Carcosa makes a very good point here, Polonel. You got out of a very difficult situation without injury, and are therefore able to continue your life. I know that in hindsight it is very easy to imagine oneself stomping on the bad guys, but in reality such situations are extremely difficult. I think you should give yourself credit for escaping without injury.

 

[Ellipse]

I feel like I'm the last crap of the Earth, as a guy who intends to unveil the secrets of the universe and the matrix even though he's not able to face an assault of two poor -bad people-

When one intend to unveil the secrets of the universe and the matrix one have to expect attacks. And for what I understand, this can be trough our mind but trough our very material 3D world too !

You're not physically injured, damages are "minor", this time. If I were you, I will try to detect and to avoid dangerous places in the future, if not, you expose your flank.

 

[Buddy]

Hi Polonel. I agree with everyone else so far. This is probably the crux of the emotional issue:

[quote author=Polonel]
I feel weak, I am angry against myself. I feel like I'm the last crap of the Earth, as a guy who intends to unveil the secrets of the universe and the matrix even though he's not able to face an assault of two poor -bad people- who, in the end, stole a 3 years old phone that they probably gonna sell for 10€ to an idiot. I feel ugly, dirty and helpless.[/quote]

You seem to be extremely self-critical, placing an 'ideal' next to the reality of the situation and interpreting it as a reflection of you.


There is a principle in cognitive therapy that says there is a conscious thought stream between an external event and our emotional reactions. This gap between the event and your reaction needs to be filled by remembering everything you "saw in your mind" and the thoughts that went with it.

Example: A therapy patient was asked to free-associate and express everything he could about the anger and hostility he was feeling but it wasn't helping much. Well, a little later, the patient discovered that the reason he wasn't feeling any better was because he also had a second stream of thoughts and images going. Something like: "I said the wrong thing...", I shouldn't have said that...", I'm wrong to critize him...", I'm bad...", "He won't like me...", I'm bad...", I have no excuse for being so mean", and etc."


See what I mean? I'm not talking about what you are telling yourself now, I'm talking about what you actually saw and thought at the time of the robbery. Try it and see if it helps you discover what the bad feelings are connected to.

--------------------------------------
Example paraphrased from text in:
Aaron T. Beck, Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders, Meridian(1979), pgs. 26-31

 

[Andrew]

Your friend already tried to talk to these guys in vain. With these kind of people (robots), negociation doesn't work. Appeal to their "conscience", even less. So the best thing to do is act in "favour of your destiny" and try to get out this situation with the less hurt possible. I know it's hard for the ego but understand that fear is normal in that kind of situation, it doesn't make you a coward. You couldn't have acted otherwise, unless you were, like, Superman maybe? Or a karate master? :)
I might be wrong and if so, I hope someone will chime in.

I agree - there was really no other intelligent thing to do in that situation. In fact, the real attack may have developed IF you actively fought back - you basically bent with the attack and didn't actively oppose it - allowing you to get through it physically unscathed. As far as feeling like a 'weakling' - do you think that might really just be programming of what is and what is not strength? In my experience, it takes much more strength to act wisely than to fight back in a situation where you know the odds are against you and you will get hurt or worse. You used your head, even though your programs are now telling you differently - I think you acted the only wise way to act in the situation. osit.

Hey Polonel,

I would have to agree with both Carcosa and Anart here. What might have happened if you had decided to fight back? Like anart said, the real attack just may have been triggered with that choice and you may not have walked away unscathed or worse. You definitely acted wisely in this situation and to be honest I would probably feel the same way. I would probably beat myself over the head for not fighting back and slump into self-defeat for being "weak". But is this really so? Really ask yourself if the choice not to fight back REALLY was an indication of weakness. Or perhaps something much greater?

I'm reminded of a scene in a movie called "The Peaceful Warrior". A student and his teacher leave a bar and are in an alleyway where they are confronted with two guys with weapons. The student automatically, reactively, presumes to stand his ground and fight the attackers. But the teacher calmly gives the men what they ask for. He even gives them more than they asked for. He begins offering them different things that are in his possession. His jacket, his pants, the students jacket, his pants, his watch, etc. At the end you see the student and teacher walking away from the encounter in their undergarments unscathed. The point here, is if the student had acted out his reactivity to "fight back" I.E. what our programs may tell us we need to do, they could have ended up dead. Very simple. BUT the choice of the teacher to go with, instead of act against the situation, inevitably saved their lives.

As Anart pointed out your programs are now telling you something different from what may actually be truth. Try and think of it like this;

You were attacked and the attack could have been worse if you had decided to act against it. I.E. Fight Back. But you didn't. You went with the flow even if this may not have been intentional. Since the attack didn't get you through the physical manifestation it now seems to be coming through a mental manifestation of feelings of doubt, weakness, self-defeat. But are these feelings grounded in "Truth"?

Consider this:

Lesson number 1: Always expect attack.
Lesson number 2: Know the modes of same.
Lesson number 3: Know how to counteract same.

For future reference, be wary of traversing down roads that are known to be dangerous. ;)


Take Care Polonel

 

[JEEP]

It was held in the campus of his school...

I live near Columbus and home of The Ohio State University. Consequently, over the years I have read many, many stories of attacks on students, many resulting in rape and/or death. Obviously, the realities of inner city poverty - low/no income, poor/little education, disintegrated/dysfunctional family units, guns, drugs, etc. - contributes to the proliferation of predators, those trying to survive the only way that makes sense to them. And if it makes them feel empowered in the process, so much the better!

Of course you feel violated, emasculated, dazed and confused! How could you not? The general population circulating around campuses is usually comprised of students and intellectual types, certainly not ones who would be carrying 'heat' or otherwise possessing martial arts skills or 'red-neck, let's kill 'em' mentality. These guys knew the pickin's were easy, so to speak. They took what they wanted, the only material things of value in your possession - an old phone and some cigarettes. Thanks to your level headedness, the situation did not escalate and they did not take your life or the life of your friend!!!

Stop beating yourself up! You so did the right thing and have learned not to put yourself in that situation again. And, if you still cannot get past these negative feelings, consider taking up a martial art or other self-defense class. But remember, an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!

 

[RedFox]

Hi Polonel

I agree with all the others. Was it worth your life to fight for these 'things', when as you say your phone was worth only 10€?
They can be replaced, you Polonel cannot be replaced.

It is a violation.....but it also woke you up for a while perhaps?

I think it may be a mix of a few things this thinking....firstly it is how the predators mind and the control system would want you to react....so 'fight back'...because then you can be 'dealt with'. It wants you to be attached to these 3D things.
It wants you to see these things as more important than your own or others lives.

Its also possible that its buffering your emotions about the situation.

Having been experimenting with the breathing exercises I've discovered that they are very good at adding back objectivity and balance to my thinking, so it may be worth taking some time out and perhaps doing some of the breathing exercises? They will at least relax you, and may help you process what has happened.

I hope you are OK!

 

[spyraal]

Hello Polonel,

I can imagine how unpleasant your experience was. :( But i believe that you acted in the best possible way too. ;) The little that might have been hurt could be only your "ego" in a way. I think embedded in our ego/personality is the tendency to consider and demand for ourselves to be "sovereign" and "self determining" creatures, but the overwhelming physicality of such moments -among others!-, strikes a huge blow to this image we have made for ourselves. Maybe what you experience now is such an emotional reaction to an otherwise felicitous outcome...

You might feel powerless because you would like to have other options available back then, so you would not be forced to obey the will of another in such a way. But let's suppose you could pause time at that very moment -so as to cool down your thinking, but also that you had ALL the skills needed to defend yourself, knocking them out without a scratch. It is worth considering: would it be proper to hurt and/or injure these guys over a pack of cigarettes, a bank card and a mobile phone? Maybe we have all been influenced to an extend by action heroes in the movies, where the hero would "rightfully" beat the crap out of these guys to "defend himself" and "correct their character" at the same time. In real life, and in the extended multi-density version of the universe we study here, you might have ended causing greater damage to your soul and FRV than the one you would inflict upon their material bodies. Following this line of thought, i guess even a most powerful and wise person might have done exactly what you did, only he would do it with his full will and consciousness. This way this experience would register for him more as a internal victory rather than a external defeat. So, it could be up to you to digest the experience in a healthy way and make a similar shift in perception that will ease you from your negative mentality.So maybe you should not burden your consciousness with remorse. Maybe you should try to tap the higher part of yourself, the part that seeks the Unknown, where these issues have no greater importance beyond them being challenging and thus educational manifestations of the gamut of forces involved in the 3rd density world we are currently living. You (and most of us) are still lucky! ....Imagine your house being forcefully raided by an army platoon during a dark and quite night as in Iraq and other places...


Unfortunately such things like the event you experienced do happen, but Life is greater that them. You ought to survive this challenge and you did. It is not good to die for something that is not worth living for! Take care and i wish you a fast healing.

:)

 

[agni]

Hi Polonel,

I hear you. Been there & not once.

Like many said, what you did was wise. Putting your life at steak for cell phone & cigs is not worth it.

It might seem that you've "lost" (but seriously, what did you loose ?), consider this - you could potentially avoided even bigger STS trap by acting like you did. Fight back is mechanical response, that is what "expected" to such situations. Trust me, these kind of things can turn out very ugly, even if one is capable of physically responding.

Now if you would be responding to such situations with force, how easy it would be to set you off track by STS setup ?

As C's said:

You do not need to "act against them," you need to act in favor of your destiny.

 

[go2]

I feel terribly guilty for what happened. I feel weak, I am angry against myself. I feel like I'm the last crap of the Earth, as a guy who intends to unveil the secrets of the universe and the matrix even though he's not able to face an assault of two poor -bad people- who, in the end, stole a 3 years old phone that they probably gonna sell for 10€ to an idiot. I feel ugly, dirty and helpless. I can not accept what happened, I imagine a thousand scenarios to find a way not to get attacked by these two -bad people-, even if there is nothing more to do about this: IT happened. c'est la vie, it happened.

What a shock! You survived. You saw yourself. At a cheap price too, a few Euros!
I was reading the linked thread a few minutes ago, and thought you might find the quote useful.

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?PHPSESSID=2ombetd408kbe6p5nmdvd71ev6&topic=13009.msg94547#new

At first they are present only in potential and the individual cannot yet "see" the path of their own development. They traipse through the forest blindfolded, thinking they can see. Then the first shock spontaneously (or mechanically) shakes the cloth from their eyes and they See for an instant. Dabrowski called this stage "level III: spontaneous multilevel disintegration". At first they aren't under conscious control; an external stimulus prompts an inner conflict which shakes reality into levels of values. As the disintegration process (the breaking down of emotional and intellectual programs and the resulting behaviors) continues, it becomes more controlled and more conscious dynamisms take over, the end result being that every behavior is chosen and purposeful. Each center is given its rightful due. Motor/instinctive centers digest food, regulate body, respond to conscious direction, etc. Emotions respond to relevant scenarios and action is primarily directed by higher emotions and values. Intellect is used in service of higher emotions. Instinct and imagination allow a deeper view of life and greater empathy.

 

[kenlee]

feel terribly guilty for what happened. I feel weak, I am angry against myself.

Hi Polonel. There is certainly nothing wrong with having fear and walking away from a potentially violent/deadly situation and avoiding it in whatever way you could but I think the important thing here is your own attitude towards yourself in this event. Imo, the real ‘enemy’ here is your attitude to your own fear. By criticizing yourself and then doing nothing will just make it easier for you to give into your inner ‘enemy,’ which will then reflect itself outwardly. Change your attitude towards yourself along with changing your attitude to whatever fears that you may have and then things will outwardly change. It’s possible (highly probable) that those bullies instinctively sensed this attitude that you have towards yourself, saw an opportunity, and moved in quickly like programmed mechanical robots to feed off of your reaction so that they could psychically feel stronger and ‘alive’ (while you were in a ‘shock and awe’ dissociated state).

I think what might help you is if you take some self defense classes. A lot of people (including myself) got into the martial arts because they feel just the way you do. You might want to give it a try! If you have some karate or self defense clubs around you then you might want to shop around and find what club is best for you. This doesn’t mean that you’ll ever use it but the confidence you get from it will help change your internal world (your attitude towards yourself) and this, I think, will reflect itself in your outer world as well.

 

[Renaissance]

Hi Polonel, I'm sorry to hear that you've gone through this. The feeling of violation is valid, and it is one you would probably feel no matter how much or how little you were robbed from. It's not really about the money. It's experiencing the effect of inhuman action onto our being, and too often we try and digest this, which is a foreign substance. Inhuman actions can't be digested and need to be expelled. It seems the emotional center is the main organ that works to do this, but when it's run down, sleeping, and overloaded with pathological toxins, it has trouble doing the purging. Even worse than the emotional center's ineffective action towards healing, is it's dysfunctional action of beating ourselves up. Is it not enough to experience the pain inflicted by another, then we must further punish ourselves on our own!??

I'm sure you've had a rough weekend, so you may have missed the breathing program previously mentioned - it's here if you missed it: Eiriu-Eolas and here on the forum. Laura and the QFS gave a remarkable gift with these breathing and meditation exercises, which go great lengths in healing our wounds and traumas. I strongly suggest checking it out.

 

[Jeremy F Kreuz]

Hi Polonel,

I agree with the comments made by others: you acted wisely in the situation. In my line of work I have been confronted with quiet some similar situations. The advice given in the trainings prior was and always is: don't oppose, give what they want, in the end it is only material things you loose. And those can be replaced. (it might even be a hint: get rid of that mobile phone that is transforming braincells in mush).

Opposing will end up in violence. You might consider it from another angle: what if it was not the mobile phone they where after, but an excuse to agress you physically? As you did not start the fight, they could not continue the fight. Most of the time these kind of attackers are cowards and they need an excuse. You did not give them that.

I would also agree with Kenlee,

It’s possible (highly probable) that those bullies instinctively sensed this attitude that you have towards yourself, saw an opportunity, and moved in quickly like programmed mechanical robots to feed off of your reaction so that they could psychically feel stronger and ‘alive’ (while you were in a ‘shock and awe’ dissociated state).

A decent martial arts teacher will tell you that the final goal of learning martial arts is to never use it. Martial arts is about making the attacker understand that they better don't try their tricks with you. A glance in the eye is enough.

By criticizing yourself and then doing nothing will just make it easier for you to give into your inner ‘enemy,’ which will then reflect itself outwardly. Change your attitude towards yourself along with changing your attitude to whatever fears that you may have and then things will outwardly change.