Good idea or bad idea?

[T.C.]

I've been in a pretty bad way since this thread. Well, bad from the perspective of my predators mind, anyway.

This one topic has opened up so many doors in my mind, so many insights on me and my life. And I'm VERY scared. I'm scared to approach it, think about it... face it.

What's objective about it?

This question haunts me all day, every day; not just about freemasonry, but about everything. It got me thinking a lot about A influences and B influences. My whole life is lived in A influences. I can't describe properly in words, this new sensation I've acquired... that I feel right down to my bones. I'm just a pawn in a game.

I have no say, no control, no input in my existence. I don't exist.

I don't just like masonry, I love it. Why? Because when that door shuts and our meeting begins, I'm in another world. It's a world of fantasy where nothing real can enter. I can forget about everything. There's also the fact that I was a mason before I came across Laura's work and my inner and outer world have gone through massive transformations since coming here. I've 'lost' everything I ever 'had', but masonry remains. It's like the last stronghold for my predator.

On mkrnhr's recommendation, I read Laura's piece on Darkness over Tibet. That was very scary too. There's a part where the author talks about being in the underground city. It has a negative effect on him; he feels he's losing his sense of individuality and ability to think critically. His mind becomes foggy and the group mind sorta takes over. I have to admit, the Lodge has this effect on me. I now believe this relates to what the C's said about, "it's the draining of energy which befuddles the mind". I shiver at the thought of where that energy is going.

As I mentioned, this thread has had me running scared. I'm amazed how much my false personality is doing everything it can to stop me from approaching this. It's like pandoras box, this sense that examining this one thing forces me to examine everything in my life.

It's hard. I'm not winning the fight at the moment, but there's life left in me and I need to reach out.

You know, I couldn't see what some here were getting at until Nienna Eluch's post; Pinkerton then reinforced the realisation. I'm here asking, "should I be the master?" and the real question is, "why am I a mason at all?" Laura once said something like, "there are some things we keep sacrosanct". That's how masonry feels to me.

 

[Buddy]

What's objective about it?

This question haunts me all day, every day; not just about freemasonry, but about everything.

Why don't you try to answer it...if only to yourself, instead of letting the predator's mind generalize the question until it spreads over your entire life causing your focus to blur?

I don't just like masonry, I love it. Why? Because when that door shuts and our meeting begins, I'm in another world. It's a world of fantasy where nothing real can enter. I can forget about everything. There's also the fact that I was a mason before I came across Laura's work and my inner and outer world have gone through massive transformations since coming here. I've 'lost' everything I ever 'had', but masonry remains.

Here, you're simply describing how totally and completely you're invested in it. The temptation to limitation has overwhelmed you.

As I mentioned, this thread has had me running scared. I'm amazed how much my false personality is doing everything it can to stop me from approaching this. It's like pandoras box, this sense that examining this one thing forces me to examine everything in my life.

What is the worst that can happen as a result of this examination?

It's hard. I'm not winning the fight at the moment, but there's life left in me and I need to reach out.

T.C., you describe your inner state as if your life is on the line. Why? It's the predator that's running scared, right?
I regret that I don't have the words you need to hear so that I can help you, but I want you to know that I will do anything I can to help.

 

[Azur]

I can't describe properly in words, this new sensation I've acquired... that I feel right down to my bones. I'm just a pawn in a game.

I have no say, no control, no input in my existence. I don't exist.

T.C.,

There's a lot in your post that I thought to address, but I keep coming back to this statement you made above.

The question that burns brighter than all the others is this: you say you feel that you're only a pawn in a game.

Exactly what is the game you think you are part of? What are the rules? Who made the rules? What if you break the rules? (Can anybody even do that?)

I'm not really asking for a full playbook of this game from you, but asking these questions to myself in the past has helped me see with new eyes.

I hope it helps.

 

[RedFox]

Hi T.C.

I've been in a pretty bad way since this thread. Well, bad from the perspective of my predators mind, anyway.

This one topic has opened up so many doors in my mind, so many insights on me and my life. And I'm VERY scared. I'm scared to approach it, think about it... face it.

What's objective about it?

This question haunts me all day, every day; not just about freemasonry, but about everything. It got me thinking a lot about A influences and B influences. My whole life is lived in A influences. I can't describe properly in words, this new sensation I've acquired... that I feel right down to my bones. I'm just a pawn in a game.

I understand where your coming from at this point. I think it may be worth trying to take a step back at this juncture and try and get an overview of your life, rather than focus on the minutia of what you 'should or should not be'. To gain some overall objectivity. You may be to close to the trees to see the wood.
The best way I know how to do this at the moment is the breathing program, and even if you not doing the full program the pipe breathing will give you some great clarity.
It would be worth doing this before revisiting you initial questions or anything else on this subject osit.

I've posted the following quote a few times regarding this fear/terror you are feeling (because its helped me so much)...but it may be worth repeating

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=12634.msg90480#msg90480

Studies of self-consciousness, or self-insight and self-awareness show that people who rate high in these aspects are less inclined to resort to denial and self-deception. As it turns out, this self-consciousness correlates with negative emotional states. Increasing the apprehension of reality, both internal and external, can precipitate negative emotional responses.

The problem with reality is that it makes no sense. Terror is the normal emotional state for someone in full view and bearing the full psychic brunt of reality.

It should also be worth considering, how much the fear you are feeling is your own, and how much is the predator that being exposed? How much do you identify 'yourself' with what the predator thinks, feels, wants and desires?

I have no say, no control, no input in my existence. I don't exist.

I would have quote G at this point, however I detect (perhaps mistakenly) a mix of two things here......maybe you are generally starting to get a glimpse of what G talks about when he says man is a machine, what seems to be mixed in here is your predators mind using it as a stick to beat you with and keep 'useless' you in submission.
Infact, nearly all your post has this particular flavour to it.

I don't just like masonry, I love it. Why? Because when that door shuts and our meeting begins, I'm in another world. It's a world of fantasy where nothing real can enter. I can forget about everything. There's also the fact that I was a mason before I came across Laura's work and my inner and outer world have gone through massive transformations since coming here. I've 'lost' everything I ever 'had', but masonry remains. It's like the last stronghold for my predator.

We all have a tendency to want to escape when faced with something we feel we cannot bare. The question however becomes, is this an accurate/healthy responce or a programmed responce due to unresolved wounding from childhood when we were unable to cope with what we can now??
This is where the following comes in...

Now, I've been quite a hermit for the last few years and I think I've got some living to do, so in that sense, it seems like a good thing.

....knowing what its like to be a hermit also, and that sense of having 'not lived'/'needing to live'. I've been chasing that in one form or another for as long as I can remember.
For me being a 'hermit' was/is my chief way of hiding from any pain. This being my chief defence program from childhood traumas. At this point in my life I do not need or want it, yet it persists. I'm having to separate the defence mechanism from the concept of 'hermit' by looking at what I can remember (especially emotionally) about why I employed it.
Mostly it was to do with social interaction and feeling overwhelmed/damaged by such encounters, so I avoided social interactions.

This may then be why 'escape' and the glamour (charisma/fantasy) of Freemasonry (a safe social structure you know well) holds you so stead fast. It is also why I suggest taking an overview and not focusing specifically on the freemason dilemma, but your emotional/traumatic history in respect to social interactions from childhood and your drives/programs behind your desire/dilemma to stay.
You could leave the freemasons, yet the drives and programs (and traumas behind them) will remain if unexplored, and history will most likely repeat itself with a different 'social group'.

Something important of note, I can see a possible hole in your awareness that you may not be aware of. This drive to be part of a social group (which is natural) is twisted by your predators mind and more than likely is that way because its something that's not been explored/developed healthily due to past trauma. The danger I see comes from your attraction to the 'magik' and 'fantasy' of masonry. Should you run into a predator (psychopath) you leave yourself wide open to manipulation/control/corruption/distruction via this hunger left by unresolved trauma.
Which leads to.....

On mkrnhr's recommendation, I read Laura's piece on Darkness over Tibet. That was very scary too. There's a part where the author talks about being in the underground city. It has a negative effect on him; he feels he's losing his sense of individuality and ability to think critically. His mind becomes foggy and the group mind sorta takes over. I have to admit, the Lodge has this effect on me. I now believe this relates to what the C's said about, "it's the draining of energy which befuddles the mind". I shiver at the thought of where that energy is going.

.....exactly that in operation.

As I mentioned, this thread has had me running scared. I'm amazed how much my false personality is doing everything it can to stop me from approaching this. It's like pandoras box, this sense that examining this one thing forces me to examine everything in my life.

It's hard. I'm not winning the fight at the moment, but there's life left in me and I need to reach out.

You know, I couldn't see what some here were getting at until Nienna Eluch's post; Pinkerton then reinforced the realisation. I'm here asking, "should I be the master?" and the real question is, "why am I a mason at all?" Laura once said something like, "there are some things we keep sacrosanct". That's how masonry feels to me.

So in conclusion, masonry may well be just the current 'lie' sold to you by your predators mind to stay in charge. It gets to manipulate you through/stay in charge by using those unresolved traumas from your past. The blocked up emotions and psychic damage.
So to remove its influence and to see things objectively.....to be able to decide what YOU want with your life and how to live it....it may be best to look at those wounds that it pokes to keep you in submission and servitude. fwiw

 

[T.C.]

This thread has forced me to look at where I'm going, what I'm doing, and what I want to do.

When I first found The Work, I began in earnest. I thought I truly wanted to work on myself, to wake up, to learn, and for a while, I tried.

But the foundation was wrong. It wasn't me who wanted to work, not for the right reasons. I saw The Work, the C's, the group/forum through my predators eyes. I took it ALL, twisted it to fit my mind and used it to fuel my ego and deepen my dream.

Then one day, I found out the truth about myself, and it all came crashing down, and I never really recovered from it. Since then, I've been treading water, trying to sit on two stools...

TC, if you agree that the network, free-will principles you find here are in opposition to hierarchical secret-societies, then what is happening to you is simple, you are sitting on the fence between two big things. At some point you will want to choose one or the other, and, as you pointed out, time is running out. It's not usually healthy to stay on the fence much past the time a person realizes they are on the fence.

Another way of looking at it is that you have one foot on one train and the other foot on another train. If the tracks diverge you are in trouble. Maybe up to a point your two trains were close enough together, but for how long?

T.C., I was opening the pdf of ISTOM that I used for my last post in other thread.
The next paragraph was actually about 'finding oneself between two stools'!

Yes, to both of you, you're right. GotoGo, I've read that passage from ISOTM quite a few times, every time knowing that it applied to me. But I never did anything about it. I've found it so hard to accept the truth about our reality. I've wanted it to not be true. I've wanted things my way. I've been so convinced that I AM T.C., that it benefits me to be T.C.. For so long, I've clung to my beliefs about life.

No more. I'm trapped in a dream and I want to get out.

The reason I've had to go deeper into my life and thoughts and look at everything, not just masonry, is because when people ask "why do you want to be a freemason?", the fact is that unless I want to really work on myself, learn to see things more objectively and wake up, there's no reason for me to examine this. So I couldn't. Every time I approached the subject, I'd start thinking, "what's the point in trying to figure this out if I don't even know if I WANT to?"

So that's where I've been the last couple of weeks. Making the long overdue assessment of who and where I am, and who and where I want to be.

this may be an incorrect assumption on my part, but I imagine that most of the people involved in the Masons are a lot older than you, and I'm wondering whether there might not be an unhealthy dynamic there, e.g. is it the kind of environment that potentially feeds your fantasy about finding the kind of father you never had, that sort of thing.

I do like to be around older men. Part of that is wanting an older male role model/father figure. The other part is that I was brought up to be, basically, my mothers partner, and so I had to act what she would call mature, believing myself to be mature, and wanting to be in the company of older people.

It's nice to feel and be treated as an equal by men who you hold in high esteem. I must mirror back to them their qualities of maturity and 3D success because I swear, they haven't seen through this act. I think this began as a child when interacting with my father. My father likes to think of himself as an intellectual and philosopher, and I learned that if I showed interest in the same things and could hold philosophical conversations with him, I would get his approval; I would mirror back his image of himself; the mirror he's trapped in.

T.C.,
Have you ever looked at "inside" motivations WHY you want to belong to Free Mason?
Can they be related to some traumas/wounds/hungers "inside" of you?

I am wondering because you have mentioned in a couple of threads you have some wounds you began to see.
For examples:

Because of this situation and the help you've all given, I am beginning to sense there's a huge amount of repressed emotions in me linked to being bullied.

This weekend, my father came over from Italy, and I really saw the truth about him. All the time he was here, he was violating my free will, giving me things I wasn't asking for; his decision to come over at this moment coincided with my moving house which I've had to postpone for another week. I could see that, in conversation, he just runs those 'pre-recordings' that Mouravieff talks about, and that the other person might as well not be there. I asked his advice on a few things regarding my situation, and rather than think about what I was asking and consider the facts, his advice was based on his assumptions about me and my situation. I've been following a much more healthy lifestyle and diet, but that all went out the window because he has a lot of food programmes and I didn't want to rock the boat. So I kinda betrayed my Self.

I now feel drained and tired, and after enjoying a feeling good health for the past few weeks, I now feel grubby and unhealthy; I feel like I "need to take a shower".

I can see how my programmes allowed so much to happen that could have been avoided. A lack of boundaries, fear of upsetting someone else by simply caring about myself. Fear of making judgements, too; it has highlighted for me that I NEED to judge between things as "good for me" and "bad for me", and see other peoples reactions to my choices, as free will choices on their part.

(I am speculating this current thread might be made from the same "lack of boundaries" issue inside of you and you might be simply asking how you can work with it).

My father is a Freemason. He got me into it. I was too young to join when he first told me, but in order to gain his approval, I started to read about masonry to "prepare" myself for the day I would join. By that time, I'd conned myself into believing I was doing it to find out the truth about Masonry for myself.

Also have you ever looked around the people in Free Mason organization and investigate closely HOW each individual Works with their traumas/wounds/hungers?

They don't. Self work isn't very high on their agenda. They're asleep like everyone else.

Hi T.C.,

Ever since you have mentioned, a ways back ago, that you were in the masons, I have been wondering why.

Now you are questioning if moving up would be good or bad.

Everybody is different, but don't these words raise any red flags to you:

hierarchical (which I know you would encounter just about everywhere, but still it's advertised in this group

Master

Worshipful Master

ritual

I mean, these are all terms that are exact opposites of what most of us, here in this forum, are trying to break free from.

When you first pointed out the above, I was still in defensive mode and the words didn't raise any red flags for me with regards to freemasonry. Sure, 'out of context', so to speak, I'd could say "ooh yes, hierarchical, that's an STS construct, an energy pyramid" but I had a complete blind spot with regards to masonry.

I see those words differently now.

Sure they would more than likely give you valuable experience in learning how to "do 3D stuff", but, maybe it's just me, but belonging to an organization associated with the types of things that the masons have been known for seems counterproductive to accomplishing the goals of this group.

The problem for me has been that for a very long time now, I haven't been concerned with the goals of this group; only the goals of my predator. So, it follows that I wouldn't see a problem with any of it.

It would seem to me that you could learn the same 3D concepts by just organizing your life in everyday conditions. Keeping things in your living space clean, paying bills, having to organize your daily schedule, etc.

Yes, all things that I still have trouble with.

No, this isn't as lofty sounding and exciting as being a member of the masons, but, I guess this is where you need to ask yourself what your aim is.

I want to live in reality.

I don't know, T.C., as I said, maybe it's just me, but being a Worshipful Master just makes my skin crawl.

Sounds like the type of reaction I need to be striving for.

Here is a possible shocker: Masons and Freemasonry has its existence in agreed-upon perception in a social reality context only. I.E., it does not exist! There are no 'masons' in reality - only individuals, symbols and pretensions - it's all illusion - a 'game' to play.

Thank you so much for this Buddy. It was this passage that woke me up long enough to remember about A influences and B influences; how A influences cancel each other out and so don't really exist. It ties into the "what's objective about it?" question.

If you are doing the Work you can see this.

But I haven't been.

Networking is/can be important, but if these 'feeding frenzies' are not controllable, why bother with them? With all the people who are suffering and dying from innumerable causes and being 'victimized' by the effects of increasing psychopathology, one could spend all available time just feeding the hungry, distributing basic needs to the homeless, putting information 'out there' for people who are seeking a single thread of sanity in an insane world - DOings that might actually benefit someone. OSIT

[...]

T.C., you describe your inner state as if your life is on the line. Why? It's the predator that's running scared, right?

Yes, as always. I'm so identified with it that it's fear of death becomes my fear of death. I'm so identified with it that I really believe that if it dies it's going to take me with it.

I regret that I don't have the words you need to hear so that I can help you, but I want you to know that I will do anything I can to help.

I regret that I've put you in such a position, Buddy. I really mean that.

I think it may be worth trying to take a step back at this juncture and try and get an overview of your life, rather than focus on the minutia of what you 'should or should not be'. To gain some overall objectivity. You may be to close to the trees to see the wood.
The best way I know how to do this at the moment is the breathing program, and even if you not doing the full program the pipe breathing will give you some great clarity.
It would be worth doing this before revisiting you initial questions or anything else on this subject osit.

I've posted the following quote a few times regarding this fear/terror you are feeling (because its helped me so much)...but it may be worth repeating

http://www.cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php?topic=12634.msg90480#msg90480

Studies of self-consciousness, or self-insight and self-awareness show that people who rate high in these aspects are less inclined to resort to denial and self-deception. As it turns out, this self-consciousness correlates with negative emotional states. Increasing the apprehension of reality, both internal and external, can precipitate negative emotional responses.

The problem with reality is that it makes no sense. Terror is the normal emotional state for someone in full view and bearing the full psychic brunt of reality.

It should also be worth considering, how much the fear you are feeling is your own, and how much is the predator that being exposed? How much do you identify 'yourself' with what the predator thinks, feels, wants and desires?

Totally and completely. But today, something is different. I see the absurdity of it now. The falseness, and how much I live in the false, and crave the false. Or rather, I DID. I don't think I could ever go back to that again. Something has happened, somehow I've woken up for just long enough to see my position. I expect I'll go back to sleep soon, but I'll be working on myself from now on.

Thank you for the rest of your post RedFox; I think there are a lot of good points, and even a lot of truths about my situation.

 

[Buddy]

I regret that I don't have the words you need to hear so that I can help you, but I want you to know that I will do anything I can to help.

I regret that I've put you in such a position, Buddy. I really mean that.

My comment about 'regret' should probably have gone unsaid, due to the likelihood of stimulating similar feelings in others in a manner that adds to the bulk of the issues they're already dealing with. Don't be concerned. I am to be held responsible for my own position and actions.

I've found it so hard to accept the truth about our reality. I've wanted it to not be true. I've wanted things my way.

Although you don't state it directly, I think your experience qualifies as an example of the re-bound or whiplash effect. I experience this at times, when I'm working on getting to the root of something. It seems the closer we get to an important realization of the true nature of reality and the sheer volume of frauds and illusions, the harder we want to swing back to the dream. I still don't have my 'pendulum' under full control, but a commitment to the work, on a deep level, seems to help a lot. I recommend keeping a journal, as well, so you can remember where you were in case you forget yourself sometimes.

Yes, as always. I'm so identified with it that it's fear of death becomes my fear of death. I'm so identified with it that I really believe that if it dies it's going to take me with it.

I understand that the fear of loss is very strong, but sometimes what seems like fear is really excitement at the possibility of an adventure - the physiological responses are virtually identical! If that sounds hard to believe, re-read the online wave regarding being addicts in our own skin. One way we can recover this realization is through recapping experiences where we suppressed our boundless enthusiasm and excitment due to forced behavior restraints.

Something has happened, somehow I've woken up for just long enough to see my position. I expect I'll go back to sleep soon, but I'll be working on myself from now on.

Try getting in the habit of questioning everything and never stop questioning. Until we have total understanding of the universe, there will always be questions we can ask and adventures to have! Consider the comment about keeping a daily journal. Once we forget ourselves, it's very hard to remember that we have done so.
:)

 

[Erna]

The falseness, and how much I live in the false, and crave the false.

T.C., it's clear from what you've written that the thought of possibly leaving the masons is a traumatic one for you. Are you being truly honest with yourself though when you say you are "craving falseness". It was mentioned earlier in the thread that you have become a bit of a hermit and that you gained friendships through masonry. I don't know the mechanics of the society, but would your departure from the masons result in losing these friends. Is masonry the glue that holds you together? Isn't it more the fear of loss than "craving falseness".

If so, well, losing a friend for whatever reason can be an extremely traumatic experience. I sense indecision and postponement in your post. Maybe your anxiety has more to do with not being able to face the possible loss of friendships and familiarity. We are all different. Some of us embrace change and others embrace security and safety. There will be a hole. Maybe I'm completely wrong and the friendships you made in the masons will carry on after you left.

We all fear rejection and want to be accepted, no matter what our individual situations. But a change can sometimes expose one to so much new possibilities. Familiarity is a big plaster and provides a lot of security, but it also makes one complacent and uncreative. You mentioned that the masons have been the only constant in your life, so your struggle with this is very understandable.

I'm also leaving the familiar at the moment and leaping into the unknown. It's very stressful, but it's also exciting.

It helps if one fills a hole with something else. What does your instinct/intuition tell you? If I listened to my intuition when it was practically screaming at me, I wouldn't have been in the dilemma that I find myself in currently. All lessons, right?

 

[T.C.]

Hi E

Is masonry the glue that holds you together? Isn't it more the fear of loss than "craving falseness".

When I said I crave the false, it was more a general statement which applied throughout my life. Maybe rather than crave the false, I feared the truth. I've been thinking about what it will mean to leave, how to go about it etc. I was due to join another 'order' in October which I've already cancelled; I can easily leave the other 'side order' I'm in at the moment.

But leaving the original order, 'the craft', is something that not one of the brethren will understand and it will come as quite a shock to them. I only know one other guy who did it, and I'm going to be meeting with him to find out what are the official ways to go about it.

One of the threads that runs through my life is that I seem to get myself into situations where I 'feel' needed. When I stopped looking after my mum, and there was no one around to ask me to do something for them I almost freaked out until I said out loud to myself, "I NEED TO FEEL NEEDED!". Once 'd got that out in the open, I was able to think about what it really meant. I began to see 'needy people' as people who feed, and I've been trained to be food.

My relationships with girls/women, I had to feel like they needed me. The "Band" thread I started here on the forum, I felt needed by them. My mum, I felt needed by her. And now the Lodge; they're very short on members now, believe that or not, and they're going to 'need' me to take an office next year.

The truth is, in all of the above, none of them need me; it's just the way I feel, it has nothing to do with reality.

We all fear rejection and want to be accepted, no matter what our individual situations.

This is something that I've managed to get control over in the past week. I don't fear rejection any more. The people who would reject me, as such, I see as people who must think they own me, or something. If people have that attitude towards me, bring on the rejection. Let me get on with shaping my life in a way that helps others.

I'm also leaving the familiar at the moment and leaping into the unknown.

Good luck with that, E. I'm sure if you need any advice on it, the forum will help you :)

It's very stressful, but it's also exciting.

My favourite comedian, Bill Hicks, said life is "Just a ride". And I think it's a useful mantra when we decide to do things like leave the familiar, break off a relationship etc, and those fears and negative emotions kick in. I know I take myself and my attachments far too seriously, and that's a trap, a trick. The less seriously I can take my false personality and all it loves, the more seriously I can think about what a mess we're in and how to get out, and help others get out.

It helps if one fills a hole with something else. What does your instinct/intuition tell you?

I'm kinda seeing it the other way round now. It's not that, first I quite masonry, then I find something to fill that hole. It's that I now feel my sleep and the terror of the situation and masonry is just one of a whole host of things that are stopping me from doing anything about it. Even if I spend that new time just reading, it will be time better spent.

 

[Erna]

Good luck with whatever you decide as well. I think this thread has been very beneficial for you. Your false personality definitely came under threat I think.

I will never tell you what to do, but in my life when I procrastinate on a decision, I give myself a deadline to decide. Maybe such an approach would be a good one for you too. Give yourself ample time on that deadline if you need to, but when it arrives make the call and follow through, whatever that call might be, because these tracks are diverging and you might need to choose which train you're staying on.

The initial loss you fear might just turn out to be your biggest gain in the long run.

Time is running out.

Take care T.C. ... and listen to your intuition.

 

[Joe]

It seems to me that the matter comes down to a question of what you want.

Freemasonry is a hierarchical system. It's a pyramid. The efforts of the many "below" are used by the few "above". Sure some crumbs are thrown the way of the pawns, but not until you get to the top can you really enjoy the benefits. The problem is, it takes a long time to get to the top, and along the way you don't really increase your own abilities to sustain yourself and others, you are in fact relying more and more on others to sustain you, but not in a free will kind of way. A 33rd degree mason is much more contractile than those lower than him. So for you TC, continued membership in the masons would mean continued servitude to the leaders of a pyramdial sts system. And you wouldn't get a chance to actually determine your future or the direction of the organisation, becauuse that is left to the elite few.

An alternative, is what you can do here. Here, the more you work, the more you learn, the more free you become and the more you are able to help others who are also helping you. Your contribution in this respect also directly influences the course of the project. If we all network effectively, all may end up at the same point on the learning cycle. No weighing and measuring of the actual amount of effort or work applied compared to others is involved, the only requirement is that full commitment is given, in the measure that each is capable, heart and mind. Then the benefits are enjoyed equally by all as a function of the process itself.

The choice is yours, and choosing is fun!