Happy birthday to Laura!

:-P BREAKING NEWS: Scientists are baffled by a woman's 'incredible' anti-aging method
Al Ternative News
Feb 15, 2023

Laura Knight-Jadczyk, who has been on our radar for quite some time, has once again caused a stir in the science community by allegedly 'reversing' the arrow of time. Scientists were unable to explain why her age did not keep up with her birthday.

"Her age has not increased this year," said Robby Smith, physicist at Immortality Labs. "Normally, people's age increases every time earth completes a rotation around the sun. What we are witnessing here is unprecedented."

A closer look at her daily habits reveals her 'fanatic' use of hyperbaric chambers. Earlier reports suggest she has had well over one hundred sessions with her 'time machine,' a dangerous undertaking according to Dr. Peter Bubbles.

"We know hyperbaric treatments can be beneficial, but not at this scale. She is basically conducting Phase 1 clinical trials on herself, disregarding the rigorous standards of the pharmaceutical industry. That's not science, that's quackery," confirmed Dr. Bubbles.

Another contributing factor to her anti-aging 'miracle' may stem from her exceptional romantic tastes. In 2020, in the midst of a raging pandemic, LKJ calmly ordered and read hundreds of romance novels. In a recent email exchange with our correspondent, she claims her reading habits helped her address her past emotional traumas, a 'rejuvenating' exercise she thinks.

"I don't now what compass is guiding that lady, but she is clearly onto something. Hopefully we won't get pulled in another dimension on her next birthday. In the meantime, we have no other choice than to wish her a happy birthday, " concluded physicist Robby Smith.


The C's suggested more humor, so I couldn't help it. 😉
 
F
Laura said:
That was hilarious.

Your sources are apparently not wise to my extended intermittant fasting which is very youthifying I think!
Click to expand...

F
Laura said:
That was hilarious.

Your sources are apparently not wise to my extended intermittant fasting which is very youthifying I think!
Click to expand...

Fasting is very healthy, but I am not going to fall into the error of science that does not see the difference between people.
 
Happy belated Birthday, Laura! 🥳 🎂🍷🎁❤️

I cannot express in words how grateful I am to you for everything, but please know I love you very dearly, and if you ever need anything from me, all you have to do is ask. May you be blessed with a year of the most sublime happiness, and here's to a 2023 of learning, laughs, friends, fun, and Fellowship. 🎉🎊
 
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