Having a problem with FOTCM member in my life

[Sunflower]

I have a special situation (or so I think) where a someone I know is heavily involved with the Work. For this post I will call them Kelly. Kelly is educated and very knowledgeable; knows about many things I couldn't even begin to understand. I respect them for that, and rightly so. However, it seems that Kelly has no regard for civilized, courteous communication. Kelly thinks that they are always right; that any kind of questioning in regards to his/her decisions is considered 'negative', and therefore, communication is done-zip-zero.

Kelly expects thing to go his/her way, even if it means a detriment to the other party. The only way I can explain it is that Kelly will use resources not completely his/her own. And s/he will use them at the cost and degradation of said resources without conscience or willingness to help pay for said resources.

I think that people dealing with the 'negativity mask' are afraid of their own shortcomings. They haven't truly 'mirrored' themselves.

Is this how the SOTT people are supposed to be? Totally wrapped up in the 'Work' that they forget how to be human and interact with people? Forget how to be courteous and realize that there are 'other' people that might help them if they don't act in such an abhorrent manner? Please let me know. It will give me an idea on how to proceed with this forum.

 

[Mr. Premise]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

Of course not.

But you're question is kind of loaded, so there's only one answer the way you asked it.

 

[ggen]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

The behaviors of this 'Kelly' seem to contradict what is considered Work here. If this is an actual member and they are abusing SOTT, FOTCM, or any of what transpires here, I hope you would contact a moderator or someone in administration. If 'Kelly' isn't a member, it sure doesn't sound like he/she is doing the Work in respect to the forum and it's guidelines. My two cents.

 

[Approaching Infinity]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

Of course not.

But you're question is kind of loaded, so there's only one answer the way you asked it.

Yup. If you want a better answer, Sunflower, you'll have to give some more details, like a specific scenario of what you describe, for example.

 

[mcb]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

I have a special situation (or so I think) where a someone I know is heavily involved with the Work. For this post I will call them Kelly. Kelly is educated and very knowledgeable; knows about many things I couldn't even begin to understand. I respect them for that, and rightly so. However, it seems that Kelly has no regard for civilized, courteous communication. Kelly thinks that they are always right; that any kind of questioning in regards to his/her decisions is considered 'negative', and therefore, communication is done-zip-zero.

So this is someone you know in person? And these are behaviors you have seen directly, as opposed to being inferred from postings on SOTT or in the forum? There could be a problem there, although it isn't necessarily what it appears to be. Problems often aren't.

Kelly expects thing to go his/her way, even if it means a detriment to the other party. The only way I can explain it is that Kelly will use resources not completely his/her own. And s/he will use them at the cost and degradation of said resources without conscience or willingness to help pay for said resources.

That sounds a bit narcissistic. But I am reading it through your interpretation, and there is a lot of opportunity for reading error.

I think that people dealing with the 'negativity mask' are afraid of their own shortcomings. They haven't truly 'mirrored' themselves.

I don't know for sure what you mean, though I might.

Is this how the SOTT people are supposed to be? Totally wrapped up in the 'Work' that they forget how to be human and interact with people? Forget how to be courteous and realize that there are 'other' people that might help them if they don't act in such an abhorrent manner? Please let me know. It will give me an idea on how to proceed with this forum.

I think you know the answer to that. "Loaded" is a good way of describing your question. I'm not at all clear about your relationship to this other person, but I gather that for one reason or other you aren't able to just ignore them, and you likely think someone else should do something about him/her.

I have never had to deal with the situation of knowing someone else personally on the forum (or SOTT) that I had "issues" with. If that is what is going on, I can appreciate how that might affect you. But it's hard to say more based solely upon what you have told us so far.

 

[Mikey]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

Is this how the SOTT people are supposed to be?

As you have described that person, certainly not. Where did you get the idea that people are 'supposed' to be like that?

Totally wrapped up in the 'Work' that they forget how to be human and interact with people?

Umm... forget to interact with people? There would be no forum here without interaction!

 

[Carl]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

Is this how the SOTT people are supposed to be?

As you have described that person, certainly not. Where did you get the idea that people are 'supposed' to be like that?

Totally wrapped up in the 'Work' that they forget how to be human and interact with people?

Umm... forget to interact with people? There would be no forum here without interaction!

I think Sunflower is talking more about interacting with people outside of what we do here.

Well being in the Work has two facets. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from people who we feel are hindering our development, and that can mean becoming cold to a person when necessary. But if someone is really engaged in what we do here, then they'd know to be considerate of others either inside our outside of the work. We're all still human and imperfect ourselves, and it's not our thing to judge other people's choices and lessons.

Without more data, we can't give a more in depth answer.

 

[knowledge_of_self]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

I think one of the most important aspects of the Work is to be externally considerate towards everyone. Especially to those who are not doing the Work and are not aware of their machines. The person you are describing Sunflower, doesn't seem to be practicing that at all.

Well being in the Work has two facets. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from people who we feel are hindering our development, and that can mean becoming cold to a person when necessary. But if someone is really engaged in what we do here, then they'd know to be considerate of others either inside our outside of the work. We're all still human and imperfect ourselves, and it's not our thing to judge other people's choices and lessons.

It's true that people who do the Work also implement strategic enclosure in their lives, but that's also out of external consideration. Especially external consideration for those who don't do the Work. It's also good to protect your self and ideologies that don't coincide with the "status quo", sort to speak. But I think a person who practices external consideration and strategic enclosure correctly and finds a healthy balance won't come off "cold" to others.

Without more data, we can't give a more in depth answer.

Yup, so far your post has been pretty ambiguous. More data is needed to make a more objective assessment. But as has been said, if you don't feel comfortable giving details on this public thread, please consider PMing a mod or admin.

 

[seek10]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

I have a special situation (or so I think) where a someone I know is heavily involved with the Work. For this post I will call them Kelly. Kelly is educated and very knowledgeable; knows about many things I couldn't even begin to understand. I respect them for that, and rightly so. However, it seems that Kelly has no regard for civilized, courteous communication. Kelly thinks that they are always right; that any kind of questioning in regards to his/her decisions is considered 'negative', and therefore, communication is done-zip-zero.

Kelly expects thing to go his/her way, even if it means a detriment to the other party. The only way I can explain it is that Kelly will use resources not completely his/her own. And s/he will use them at the cost and degradation of said resources without conscience or willingness to help pay for said resources.

I think that people dealing with the 'negativity mask' are afraid of their own shortcomings. They haven't truly 'mirrored' themselves.

Is this how the SOTT people are supposed to be? Totally wrapped up in the 'Work' that they forget how to be human and interact with people? Forget how to be courteous and realize that there are 'other' people that might help them if they don't act in such an abhorrent manner? Please let me know. It will give me an idea on how to proceed with this forum.

If some body is doing like that, they are not really doing any thing for cleaning their machine or understanding themselves. Human mental programs are complicated than what we think other person is doing or what we think we are doing. This following board may be of help. As already mentioned by others, more details or data is needed for understanding.

http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/board,74.0.html

 

[Scottie]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

If you would like to share more details privately, you can do so here:

http://cassiopaea.org/contact-us/

 

[grini]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

Hi Sunflower,

My impression is that everything is okay with "Kelly". S/he just doesn't want to communicate with you and you are constantly pushing communication with him/her. There is probably a reason why s/he acts that way and I don't think it is related to the Work, SOTT or FOTCM, and I also don't think s/he is a psychopath. I think the problem is with you.

You are also trying to help him/her... did s/he ask for your help? I know I would be annoyed if someone is trying to help me all the time and I didn't ask him/her for any help. :)

How do you know that s/he doesn't communicate in civilized, courteous way? If s/he doesn't communicate that way with you, that doesn't mean s/he doesn't communicate with others that way.

 

[Iron]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

Hi Sunflower,

My impression is that everything is okay with "Kelly". S/he just doesn't want to communicate with you and you are constantly pushing communication with him/her. There is probably a reason why s/he acts that way and I don't think it is related to the Work, SOTT or FOTCM, and I also don't think s/he is a psychopath. I think the problem is with you.

You are also trying to help him/her... did s/he ask for your help? I know I would be annoyed if someone is trying to help me all the time and I didn't ask him/her for any help. :)

How do you know that s/he doesn't communicate in civilized, courteous way? If s/he doesn't communicate that way with you, that doesn't mean s/he doesn't communicate with others that way.

Grini do you have extra information so you can draw this conclusion? From what sunflower posted, this is not my impression at all.

 

[Mrs.Tigersoap]

Grini do you have extra information so you can draw this conclusion? From what sunflower posted, this is not my impression at all.

I agree with Iron. Let's give Sunflower a chance to explain what she meant before drawing conclusions. :)

 

[grini]

Re: Can a SOTT FOTCM person be a psychopath, or just so focused on the work?

Hi Sunflower,

My impression is that everything is okay with "Kelly". S/he just doesn't want to communicate with you and you are constantly pushing communication with him/her. There is probably a reason why s/he acts that way and I don't think it is related to the Work, SOTT or FOTCM, and I also don't think s/he is a psychopath. I think the problem is with you.

You are also trying to help him/her... did s/he ask for your help? I know I would be annoyed if someone is trying to help me all the time and I didn't ask him/her for any help. :)

How do you know that s/he doesn't communicate in civilized, courteous way? If s/he doesn't communicate that way with you, that doesn't mean s/he doesn't communicate with others that way.

Grini do you have extra information so you can draw this conclusion? From what sunflower posted, this is not my impression at all.

Iron, this is just my impression, that doesn't mean I'm right. This is only one side of the story. It would help if "Kelly" could join and share his side of the story.

 

[mcb]

Grini do you have extra information so you can draw this conclusion? From what sunflower posted, this is not my impression at all.

I agree with Iron. Let's give Sunflower a chance to explain what she meant before drawing conclusions. :)

Yes. This strikes me as someone who is peeved about somebody else here, and quite possibly for very good reasons. But there isn't enough information to go on, possibly also for very good reasons. I think it is important to respond and see where it goes, but that may not be possible using the public forum.