How to be a STO to a psychopath

[Ant22]

According to Dr. Robert Hare's book, Without Conscience, a psychopath can be 'helped' by putting them into therapy. It won't fix the condition, but they will learn how to be even more manipulative and thus proceed along the STS path :P

I'm kidding. I'm assuming that by 'help' you mean make them less dangerous to souled people. In that case, the best thing might be spreading knowledge to the people who might be taken advantage of. When people are shown how manipulation works they usually become resistant to it. Empathetic people tend to be suckers for their appeals to pity, but what I've been learning lately is that giving psychopaths what they demand definitely doesn't help them. It's like feeding an addict's habit. They only change tactics when a tactic stops working. They will try to guilt us into giving energy and resources and our kindness makes us want to give, but with knowledge we can discern when giving is unhelpful for both parties.

Welcome to the forum. :)

I think you said it very well, three! The desire to "help" psychopaths only makes us their food and they will refine their tactics to become even more dangerous. Best to not play their games at all (walking away) and not let one's compassion be exploited. It's really difficult though!

Good point as well that the only thing we can do to "help" when it comes to psychopaths, besides walking away, is to explain to other people that there ARE dangerous people out there who are out to manipulate them and to help them see this. I often recommend the book "In sheep's clothing" to them - it's a nice and concise overview over the most common manipulation tactics and how to spot/escape them.

Great points three and luc! You just gave me a thought: every predator out there is anatomically and biologically equipped to pray on its victims effectively: huge jaws, massive muscles to chase the prey, ability to immobilise or paralyse the victim, etc. I guess for psychopaths that mechanism is their lack of emotions combined with the ability to use our own emotions against ourselves. To use a biological analogy, they use our emotions / emotional hooks to attach themselves to us and feed on us. As luc said, the desire to help them is that hook that they use to make us food.

I doubt anyone would try to help a hungry lion running to eat them become more benign and loving. Or try to talk them into becoming vegetarian They are predators and that's their nature. Let them be what they are but make sure to protect yourself.

At the same time the victims have biological abilities to defend themselves: antelopes run fast, chameleons can change the colour of their skin to hide better. Whilst we have our brains and the ability to acquire knowledge. And knowledge protects :)

Reflecting on psychopaths seems to help understand ourselves, they don't want to be help and a 'true' STO don't pretend to help, he is the help, so does a STO candidate learn to stop 'wanting' to help others by dealing with psychopath ?
IMO once a psychopath is pierced one has to get away quickly. You cannot make any creative acts with him/her. But sure you learn by being creative escaping his claws.

Exactly Nico! And it does take quite a bit of creativity to escape without any damage to oneself!