Howdy all, I need to vent and get it off my chest...

[Al Today]

I am in my early 60s and am having a rough time. My maladies are many. My family history shows I am experiencing "things" my parents wen through and took them at about my age. Let's go back to when I was young. I was a gifted athlete. Excelled at many things I tried. Let's talk about American football. I was able to accomplish many cool things. Like as a running back, I would get the ball and go for a touchdown. As a defensive cornerback, their quarterback would throw the ball and I could intercept it, and run many yards. No bragging here. I think of that Bruce Springsteen song Glory Days. As I got into high school I had offers from Big 10 Colleges, but did not accept any. All because I was a screwed up kid. I remember being in the games. But I also remember I had to sit on the sidelines because of being an under classman (is that bad to say "man" nowadays?). I was able to participate in the life of the game. Now, I am on the sidelines, not able to participate in the game we call life. I am damn near housebound for my body stops me from a walk in the woods. No longer can I climb a mountain. No longer can I get out to ride a bicycle. No longer can I mow the grass. No longer can I play in the garden with my wife. It sucks sitting on the sidelines. I guess the point of my story is to get y'all to appreciate the health you have that is a no brainer, not thought about. There is an old song that says You don't know what you have until it's gone. Live your life to the fullest NOW. We all have our shoulda coulda instances, do it with no regrets. My momma told me decades ago that she didn't think I appreciated the life I have. She said I did not enough enjoy the simple things that I am able to do. Mothers know their children and she was right...

 

[whitecoast]

Thanks for sharing Al Today. Like they say, youth is wasted on the young. I think it's always important to have gratitude for what you've received as gifts from the DCM. In spite of your handicaps these days I think you still have a lot to be grateful for. For example some people with your age and condition don't even have wives. If you can't be as physically active, I think that could be something you may need to grieve for, especially if it's something you've grown accustomed to and have taken for granted for so long. In spite of that though, the rewarding human relationships around you will always be a source for nourishment when love is in the picture.

Have you had an opportunity to look into the Romantic Reading thread started by Laura, and mentioned in the most recent session? A lot of people have felt that these are a way to experience and work through the lessons of a life experience without physically being present for it. Being more physically limited doesn't mean you have to stop learning from the types of lessons that mobility can sometimes provide.

 

[Gwenllian]

Now, I am on the sidelines, not able to participate in the game we call life. I am damn near housebound for my body stops me from a walk in the woods. No longer can I climb a mountain. No longer can I get out to ride a bicycle. No longer can I mow the grass. No longer can I play in the garden with my wife. It sucks sitting on the sidelines.

That sounds rough Al Today, but a problem shared is a problem halved. So good for you that you have shared your troubles.

Have you had an opportunity to look into the Romantic Reading thread started by Laura, and mentioned in the most recent session? A lot of people have felt that these are a way to experience and work through the lessons of a life experience without physically being present for it. Being more physically limited doesn't mean you have to stop learning from the types of lessons that mobility can sometimes provide.

I agree with whitecoast here, he makes a good point. Also, I was wondering whether you have to sit on the sideline when it comes to our forum. You could still participate here and share your life experiences with others here, as you have just done? Or are you holding yourself back, thinking you have to sit on the sideline as your health deteriorates? Perhaps making a conscious effort to post more often will help you feel better about your situation, as you won't be focused so much on yourself, instead you will be focussing on others. This mindset has helped me a lot over the years.

How is your wife doing and does she agree with your sitting on the sideline or does she encourage you to step out of yourself so to speak? Is she having a hard time seeing you like this and are you trying to make her life a little easier by keeping your spirits up just for her?

For many people our forum equals real life. The only real life they can get, as circumstances have changed so drastically this past year, that every day we have to tell ourselves that we are "in this world, but not of it". Basically, what I am trying to say is while you can you don't have to sit on the sidelines, you can become more involved in life just by sharing (e.g. in the Romance Novels thread) and listening to others' ordeals and issuses. You are not alone!

 

[Wandering Star]

The mind is powerful and sometimes the trees do not let us see the forest.

Reading to you came to mind a story that children are taught to open their perspective of the world. Is this:

Count Lucanor - He ate lupins


What happened to a man who, due to poverty and lack of something else, ate lupins


Another day Count Lucanor spoke with Patronio, his adviser, in this way:

-Patronio, I know well that God has given me much more than I deserve and that in all other things I only have reason to be very satisfied, but sometimes I find myself so in need of money that I would not mind leaving this life. I ask you to give me some advice to remedy this affliction of mine.

"Sir Count Lucanor," said Patronio, "so that you can console yourselves when this happens to you, it would be convenient for you to know what happened to two men who were very rich."

The count begged him to tell.

"Sir Count," began Patronio, "one of these men reached such an extreme of poverty that he had nothing left in the world to eat." Having struggled to find something, he couldn't help but find a bowl of lupins. Remembering how rich he had been and thinking that now he was hungry and had nothing but the lupins, which are so bitter and taste so bad, he began to cry, although without stopping eating the lupins, because of the great hunger, and pouring out the shells back. In the midst of this grief and sorrow, he noticed that there was another person behind him and, turning his head, he saw that a man was eating the lupine shells that he was throwing on the ground. This was the other of whom I told you had also been rich.

When that saw the one with the lupins, he asked the other why he ate the shells. He replied that, although he had been richer than he, he had now reached such an extreme of poverty and was so hungry that he was very glad to find those shells that he was throwing. When the one with the lupins heard this he consoled himself, seeing that there was another poorer than he and that he had less reason to be so. With this consolation he strove to get out of poverty, he did it with the help of God and became rich again.

You, Count Lucanor, must know that, by God's permission, no one in the world achieves everything. But, since in all other things God makes you a marked mercy and you go out with what you want, if ever you lack money and you go through straits, do not be sad, but be sure that other richer and higher status will be. happening and that they would be happy if they could give to their people even less than what you give to yours.

The count was very pleased with what Patronio said, he consoled himself and, making an effort, managed to get out, with the help of God, from the hardship in which he found himself. Seeing don Juan that this story was good, he had it put in this book and wrote some verses that say:



For poverty you never faint,
for others poorer than you will see.

....................................................................

My best wishes to you.

A hug.

 

[Laurs]

Thanks for sharing your troubles AI Today, very courageous and brave and in my view a first step to picking yourself up and venturing out on a new trail. Scary and exciting. I can fully understand what you mean by feeling that you are on the sidelines, now that health is failing you. From your story it appears that perhaps you think you also put yourself on the sidelines when you were in highschool rejecting all those uni offers and now it seems health put you on the sidelines. So the concept of these 'sidelines' and what it really means might be something to explore in more detail.
And perhaps issues like these can be examined?:
What is your body telling you with the signals of ailments or disease, are there books on the Forum Recommended Books List that you haven't yet read relating to this? The C's have confirmed on a number of occasions that physical disease does not manifest unless there is a psycho-spiritual cause, often relating to past life experiences (Chapter 51 of The Wave - Petty Tyrants & Facing the Unknown and Louise Hay's book You Can Heal Your Life). This could tie in with any familial karma you might be carrying, especially when you say you are experiencing things your parents went through at your age, could it be that you are faced with the task of fulfilling some familial karma? Perhaps also reading (if you haven't already of course) the Afterlife thread could help you in some way with this?

In the meantime would it perhaps be an idea to get creative and look at what you can do from your position, what is still possible and what will bring you fun. Are there new things you wish to explore? Apart from the good advice above to release the sidelines and become more active on the Forum, could it be, if at all possible, an idea to become creative in the kitchen? Perhaps you are on the Paleo or Keto diet, and as these require lots of work, it might be an excellent opportunity to explore your talents there (your wife might be enthusiastic about this one, too ;)). Just throwing it out there.

Hang in there AI Today

 

[PERLOU]

Nommes avec Vous... Merci pour le partage...

Appointed with you... Thanks for sharing...

 

[Esote]

Live your life to the fullest NOW

Thank you AI Today for your advice !
... to the fullest of who and as we are...
I guess and hope you may find ways to somehow live fully into your present situation, not as it was when you were younger-stronger for sure, but as it is now, with gratitude for your knowledge, your inner strength, being alive with consciousness...
Hugs

 

[liam1310]

. I am damn near housebound for my body stops me from a walk in the woods. No longer can I climb a mountain. No longer can I get out to ride a bicycle. No longer can I mow the grass. No longer can I play in the garden with my wife. It sucks sitting on the sidelines. I guess the point of my story is to get y'all to appreciate the health you have that is a no brainer, not thought about.

Hi, AI Today.

I can relate to what your saying here, not being able to do things due to health. I was a very active person, working out 5 days a week, mountain biking, hiking, long walks in the woods. I was fit and healthy or so I thought. Until 3 months ago I got chest pains while working out, turns out I have a very serious heart condition. My life has changed dramatically over night.

No longer can I do the things I used to enjoy. No more weight lifting, biking, hiking. Although I do still go for short walks in the woods. I've started doing yoga, meditating more reading the forum more and participate where I can.

What I ask of myself is, what am I going to do about the situation to make it better?? I can't change what happened, just adapt and learn from the situation. The thoughts of whats the point I'm 40 years old and this happens. I try not to dwell on these thoughts and carry on regardless. Your still breathing, still life in you, don't waste the time you have left. Your in control of how you react, you can choose to make things better. Not saying its easy, its far from easy. Life is tough, life can be cruel but we must carry on and do the best we can.

 

[T.C.]

I share in some of your sentiments. I suffer from low-level chronic pain and have become accustomed to moving around in very specific and careful ways because if I get my weight distribution wrong or turn in the wrong way, my hips give out and I’m in agony for weeks. This as a 36yr old man. I see sports men and women who are older than me who do incredible athletic feats. I look around me at everyone, young and old, who don’t have my physical issues and just marvel at how ‘lucky’ they are, or how ‘unlucky’ I am.

But there’s another side to this. My mother was badly physically disabled, but there were things she could have done. Instead she chose to stay in a chair all day, which worsened her disability, which eventually became laying in bed all day, and things kept going downhill from there.

I personally don’t curse the universe for my physical issues because, like my mother, I don’t do everything I possibly could to try to fix it. And Al, you’ve talked about your physical problems a few times before and I know you were given advice on diet and things, and I’m pretty sure you never fully took it on board and really did everything you could to, if not ‘improve’ your quality of life, to at least maintain it at levels you were probably at previously.

The lesson when it comes to health, even debilitating physical conditions that severely limit mobility, is that there is always a choice for that individual: to keep on keeping on and do all they can to get better or make life easier for themselves, or not.

And I guess finally, the show ain’t over till the fat lady sings. You may not be able to run 100 yards, but you’re still breathing, which means there’s still something you could do to make tomorrow better than yesterday.

 

[PERLOU]

Je ne peux pas rester longtemps ni assise ni debout, je ne sors pas de chez moi mais j'ai la chance d'avoir deux petits Yorks et quatre chatonnes qui sont une grande source de joie et surtout j'ai LAURA, les membres du forum, j'ai lu tous les livres de LAURA traduits en Français et ceux de Pierre Lescaudron aussi sans oublier les livres romantiques conseillés par LAURA, SOTT NET FRANCE, les prières en groupe du soir et de CRISTAL/REIKI le Dimanche, les réunions Française et Internationales avec LAURA et le Château, alors ma vie est bien remplie et je rends Grâce à tout cela d'exister grâce à LAURA... Je mange, je respire, je vis LAURA et j'en suis comblée, je vous souhaite de trouver la sérénité, l'acceptation, le courage dont vous avez besoin... LOVE

I can't sit or stand for long, I don't go out of my house but I am lucky to have two little Yorks and four kittens which are a great source of joy and above all I have LAURA, the members of the forum, I have read all the books of LAURA translated into French and those of Pierre Lescaudron too without forgetting the romantic books advised by LAURA, SOTT NET FRANCE, the evening group prayers and CRISTAL/REIKI on Sundays, the French and International meetings with LAURA and the Château, so my life is well filled and I give thanks to all this to exist thanks to LAURA. .. I eat, I breathe, I live LAURA and I am filled with it, I wish you to find the serenity, the acceptance, the courage that you need... LOVE

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

 

[Ysus]

Hey , Al Today, I get the impression you equate everything worth living for with a very able body. I am by no means trying to dismiss what you are going through, it must be very challenging, but let me tell you: living life to the fullest can also mean reading, writing, drawing, listening, singing, discussing etc. - activities that require little physical movement. Learning our lessens with whatever limitation we may personally have. I have always been a bit of a klutz in terms of physical exertions, so I am finishing this post with a bit of light heartedness:

Below you see me doing a work out, which consists of sitting down, opening a sketchbook and holding a pen.

 

[Menna]

Is there an instrument you wanted to learn or language or a book/ebook you want to write? Maybe the things you couldn’t get to when you were out and about you will have time for now...

also regarding college football...I played but only 2yrs as I had injuries that lead to surgery and I saw a neurologist that helped me over lingering concussion ... unless you were going to make it to the pros maybe not playing saved your physical body to get to 60? Getting hit alot buy grown men in their early 20s for free isn’t all that great...Fun memories and experiences but there’s a saying about juice and squeeze

 

[Al Today]

I share in some of your sentiments. I suffer from low-level chronic pain and have become accustomed to moving around in very specific and careful ways because if I get my weight distribution wrong or turn in the wrong way, my hips give out and I’m in agony for weeks. This as a 36yr old man. I see sports men and women who are older than me who do incredible athletic feats. I look around me at everyone, young and old, who don’t have my physical issues and just marvel at how ‘lucky’ they are, or how ‘unlucky’ I am.

But there’s another side to this. My mother was badly physically disabled, but there were things she could have done. Instead she chose to stay in a chair all day, which worsened her disability, which eventually became laying in bed all day, and things kept going downhill from there.

I personally don’t curse the universe for my physical issues because, like my mother, I don’t do everything I possibly could to try to fix it. And Al, you’ve talked about your physical problems a few times before and I know you were given advice on diet and things, and I’m pretty sure you never fully took it on board and really did everything you could to, if not ‘improve’ your quality of life, to at least maintain it at levels you were probably at previously.

The lesson when it comes to health, even debilitating physical conditions that severely limit mobility, is that there is always a choice for that individual: to keep on keeping on and do all they can to get better or make life easier for themselves, or not.

And I guess finally, the show ain’t over till the fat lady sings. You may not be able to run 100 yards, but you’re still breathing, which means there’s still something you could do to make tomorrow better than yesterday.

Thank you T.C. The mirror hurts but shoulda coulda woulda, I did try numerous suggestions, but not all. I came to the conclusion that there is no silver bullet. We can slip, fall, get beat, stand back up and brush off the dust and continue on. It's attitude that matters. This is something that I need to address. I just feel beaten down in so many ways and am tired of trying to shake it off. You guys are more important than you realize. Thank you for caring.

 

[Al Today]

That sounds rough Al Today, but a problem shared is a problem halved. So good for you that you have shared your troubles.

I agree with whitecoast here, he makes a good point. Also, I was wondering whether you have to sit on the sideline when it comes to our forum. You could still participate here and share your life experiences with others here, as you have just done? Or are you holding yourself back, thinking you have to sit on the sideline as your health deteriorates? Perhaps making a conscious effort to post more often will help you feel better about your situation, as you won't be focused so much on yourself, instead you will be focussing on others. This mindset has helped me a lot over the years.

How is your wife doing and does she agree with your sitting on the sideline or does she encourage you to step out of yourself so to speak? Is she having a hard time seeing you like this and are you trying to make her life a little easier by keeping your spirits up just for her?

For many people our forum equals real life. The only real life they can get, as circumstances have changed so drastically this past year, that every day we have to tell ourselves that we are "in this world, but not of it". Basically, what I am trying to say is while you can you don't have to sit on the sidelines, you can become more involved in life just by sharing (e.g. in the Romance Novels thread) and listening to others' ordeals and issuses. You are not alone!

About this forum, I truly appreciate everyone but I am not gonna be a debbie downer. I have a hard time whining. I was raised with deal with it, or just walk it off. I feel this is my Karma and I gotta learn my lessons.
About my wife... I know(feel) that we knew each other before. Soul Group? I found her here, or she found me. Dreams we both have. But here we are and she is my strength, my pusher. We have been an effective team over 45 years.
Yes, this is good that people have a place to share, learn from each other. Very special and very cool.

 

[Al Today]

Hey , Al Today, I get the impression you equate everything worth living for with a very able body. I am by no means trying to dismiss what you are going through, it must be very challenging, but let me tell you: living life to the fullest can also mean reading, writing, drawing, listening, singing, discussing etc. - activities that require little physical movement. Learning our lessens with whatever limitation we may personally have. I have always been a bit of a klutz in terms of physical exertions, so I am finishing this post with a bit of light heartedness:

Below you see me doing a work out, which consists of sitting down, opening a sketchbook and holding a pen.

Blessings to you Ysus. Appears to me you are a strong soul. I salute you. I know nothing of your circumstances but I get the feeling you are more resolute than I. I hear you, but I fight the negativity of the past that dwells within me. Thank you.