i feel weird

[abstract]

...first we start with the good ole' question: where to begin? hmmm....

i've had a wierd day today, internally speaking that is. i woke up from two hours of sleep, and felt horrible. but i still got ready for work, as usual.

I thought i was going to vomit and would have if i had anything in my stomach at the time. I had a weird angry spell for a couple hours, smashing my fist on the upholstery of my
truck on the drive to work, multiple times. Due to my lack of sleep i eventually became very calm and quiet. it's hard to be angry when i simply can't expend the energy, so my programs hushed up for a good part of the night.

so at work i decided just to not eat anything and drank a whole bunch of water, every chance i got. I wasn't intentionally fasting, it was just sort of circumstances. I do feel a lot better than i did this past "morning" if i may call it as such, after drinking all that water and using the bathroom once every 45 minutes.

So there is a question amidst all this rusing. I'm considering a fast, but at the same time i really don't know if i am disciplined enough. I could eat right now if i wanted to, but at the same time i'm quite curious how i'd react to a fast. Maybe this one day of water guggling was good enough for now? Probably...

at the moment i'm feeling sort of...airy and light and i really like this "clean" feeling i have after drinking so much water.

 

[1984]

So there is a question amidst all this rusing. I'm considering a fast, but at the same time i really don't know if i am disciplined enough. I could eat right now if i wanted to, but at the same time i'm quite curious how i'd react to a fast. Maybe this one day of water guggling was good enough for now? Probably...

at the moment i'm feeling sort of...airy and light and i really like this "clean" feeling i have after drinking so much water.

Hi abstract, have you tried taking melatonin, valerian or 5HTP before going to bed? I find all three of these help tremendously with my sleep cycles. I am a light sleeper and these supplements really help me stay asleep longer. (There are other benefits of these supplement, but that's for another topic :))

Also, are you consistently doing the EE breathing program? I found that the nights I did the entire program, I slept much deeper and longer than the nights I didn't. So now, I do the baha breathing and the meditation each night before bed, saving the entire program for Mondays and Thursdays.

 

[abstract]

1984, I am currently taking 5htp when i wake up, but i will try it at night and see what happens. i usually can get enough sleep but for some reason i was all wired.

 

[anart]

abstract, I think if you would get off the soda, donuts, dairy, and the rest of the sugar you eat, that you would find that all this out of control anger of yours would vanish. Your body and mind are so inflamed due to your diet that it's a wonder you can think at all.

You're obviously sensitive to this stuff or I don't think you'd be on the emotional roller coaster you're on - your body is trying to get you to notice that you can't keep putting that crap into it.

Bring bottled water to work. They even sell those water bottles with the little Brita or Pur filters in the neck so if you can't take distilled with you, just drink that, it's still better than tap.

Don't eat one other donut. Don't drink one other soda. Take control of your body and the food that goes in it. A fast isn't going to help if you don't change what you eat when you come off of it. Your mind and body are fighting a battle against the inflammation from your diet and it's no wonder you're so angry all the time.

Eat breakfast - doesn't have to be big, but something - start taking care of your body or stop complaining about feeling weird and angry and out of control. It's your life - so do it.

(all of the above is said with a hug)

 

[shijing]

abstract, I think if you would get off the soda, donuts, dairy, and the rest of the sugar you eat, that you would find that all this out of control anger of yours would vanish. Your body and mind are so inflamed due to your diet that it's a wonder you can think at all.

All the more reason to find a nice music store to work at and get away from the evil donut shop :)

 

[abstract]

Anart! Shijing! I missed you two while I was away! :) good to see you both.

abstract, I think if you would get off the soda, donuts, dairy, and the rest of the sugar you eat, that you would find that all this out of control anger of yours would vanish. Your body and mind are so inflamed due to your diet that it's a wonder you can think at all.

Like i said, i didn't eat anything today. Only water. I can tell you that i want sugar out of my diet. I think you are right about that.

All the more reason to find a nice music store to work at and get away from the evil donut shop

one thing i've been thinking about lately is this: GET ME OUTTA THE FRIGGIN' FOOD BUSINESS! i gotta find a job where i can get some other satisfaction besides money.
money is fine, don't get me wrong, but when it's all said and done it's just BS. I want something more from my job, my way of earning a living.
I'd like to actually be interested in my occupation for a change. I've considered a few things, but need to check out job listings.

i don't know about a music store...i just can't play guitar anymore. well, i can technically play it but i just can't find a reason for it.

Your mind and body are fighting a battle against the inflammation from your diet and it's no wonder you're so angry all the time.

I don't wanna seem unappreciative, but why didn't anyone say that a long time ago?

 

[Buddy]

Your mind and body are fighting a battle against the inflammation from your diet and it's no wonder you're so angry all the time.

I don't wanna seem unappreciative, but why didn't anyone say that a long time ago?

I think it was said, just not in those words, or to a more receptive mind. :D

 

[abstract]

I think it was said, just not in those words, or to a more receptive mind.

Probably missed among a slew of other words, posts, and paragraphs. ;)

 

[Beau]

i don't know about a music store...i just can't play guitar anymore. well, i can technically play it but i just can't find a reason for it.

You don't have to play an instrument to work there. You really just need a passion for music, a cursory knowledge of the merchandise, and an ability to have positive interactions with customers. But, before anything, you have to really WANT to do it.

 

[henry]

abstract, changing your diet is the single most important thing you can do to change your mood. After that, getting on a schedule where you are getting to bed before midnight and getting up in the morning with enough sleep. As a recovering night owl, I know it sounds awful, but you will really be surprised as how those two changes will help.

As for working in a guitar store, even if you don't feel inspired to play guitar for yourself at the moment, it is a skill you have that can be put to good use. Staying at work in a donut shop is really asking for trouble. Yeah, it could be seen as conscious suffering, but we also can't bite off more than we can chew... to use another pat phrase. But it is true. If you are addicted to the sugar, do yourself a big favour and don't make it harder than it has to be to quit! :)

 

[doublea1535]

abstract, I think if you would get off the soda, donuts, dairy, and the rest of the sugar you eat, that you would find that all this out of control anger of yours would vanish. Your body and mind are so inflamed due to your diet that it's a wonder you can think at all.

Hi abstract. I recently seriously cut back on my sugar intake, my sugar intake is close to rock-bottom low compared to what it was like before, but I am aiming lower :) What I wanted to say was I have found anart's statement to be true for me. I often struggle(d) with anger and emotional roller-coasters. For about the past couple of months things in this regard have gotten a lot better. I even had an argument with my wife a week ago and I felt like I was seriously going to lose it (by which I mean say something I would later regret) but I didn't. I was able to take a deep breath and somehow, someway, made it through it without feeling embarrassed with myself afterwards.

When your addicted to sugar like I am, and you go off of it for awhile, the affects it has on your mind become very pronounced. I don't understand the exact process but after eating sugar I can almost feel it flooding my brain, weakening my neural network. Then almost immediately I feel more excited (in a bad way!) and more likely to get upset or offended by something.

I too have wondered how I managed to think at all, although I suppose it depends on how rigidly you define thinking ;)

I don't wanna seem unappreciative, but why didn't anyone say that a long time ago?

I felt the very same way

 

[abstract]

Staying at work in a donut shop is really asking for trouble

agreed. I am snacking on peanuts as i type. and YES i did get unsalted peanuts with no other crap in it, just in case someone was wondering.

Yeah, it could be seen as conscious suffering, but we also can't bite off more than we can chew... to use another pat phrase

The ONLY reason i work at a donut shop is because that was the job availible at the time, and i was desperate to re-establish a cash flow.
Actually, it's funny, my mother works there too, she helped me get the job.

why would i work in a donut shop to induce conscious suffering? Makes no sense.

If you are addicted to the sugar, do yourself a big favour and don't make it harder than it has to be to quit!

I believe the addiction is mainly psychological (i think) because i have had plenty of opportunities to have sugar today. I got back from the grocery store not too long ago
(hence the peanuts) and totally could have got a jarritos and some skittles but i didn't. i can eat the donuts at work for free, drink the soda for free, and i didn't have any today.
I will agree that i don't want to be around it anymore, peddling heart attacks to people and and their poor children who have no idea what they're consuming, not to mention the "stupid people" and everything.

As a recovering night owl, I know it sounds awful, but you will really be surprised as how those two changes will help.

I have been kind of wanting a day schedule, but alas, i quite enjoy being awake while the rest of the people sleep. It's quiet. There is less traffic, etc.

 

[aragorn]

I even had an argument with my wife a week ago and I felt like I was seriously going to lose it (by which I mean say something I would later regret) but I didn't. I was able to take a deep breath and somehow, someway, made it through it without feeling embarrassed with myself afterwards.

Hi Aaron. I've been struggling a lot with this type of reactive behaviour and I still have a lot of work to do in cleansing my programming. Reading this part of your post wanted me to ask if you feel that there's more to this 'feeling of seriously going to loose it' than dietary issues? With the little experience I have from cleaning out my narcissistic intrinsic behaviour programming I warmly recommend working on ways to see where these reactions actually stem from. Maybe you've begun this work already in which case my post is unnecessary.

Just wanted to share some thoughts on these matters, FWIW.

 

[Beau]

I have been kind of wanting a day schedule, but alas, i quite enjoy being awake while the rest of the people sleep.

You don't need to stay up all night to do that. Just read more of SOTT, network here, and voila! ;)

 

[doublea1535]

I even had an argument with my wife a week ago and I felt like I was seriously going to lose it (by which I mean say something I would later regret) but I didn't. I was able to take a deep breath and somehow, someway, made it through it without feeling embarrassed with myself afterwards.

Hi Aaron. I've been struggling a lot with this type of reactive behaviour and I still have a lot of work to do in cleansing my programming. Reading this part of your post wanted me to ask if you feel that there's more to this 'feeling of seriously going to loose it' than dietary issues? With the little experience I have from cleaning out my narcissistic intrinsic behaviour programming I warmly recommend working on ways to see where these reactions actually stem from. Maybe you've begun this work already in which case my post is unnecessary.

Just wanted to share some thoughts on these matters, FWIW.

There is definitely more than just dietary issues at play methinks. I was programmed at an early age to react with anger when, well, when just about anything didn't meet my expectations, including when people don't agree with me. But dietary issues, especially sugar intake, seem to play a big role in weakening my ability to resist these programs.