I think I'm an OP.

Danny

Jedi
Can someone help me out here? Does anyone else here feel like maybe there isnt a TOTAL spiritual connection to all this("this" as in the world, things around you, yada yada)?I read alot about people getting this rush or "awakening" but how about on the other end of the spectrum so to speak?I have a special request of sorts.I'm hoping one of the journeypersons or mods.Could someone maybe come up with like a "organic portal" questionare?10 quickies to kinda rate ourselves.I think for some strange reason I am a prime canidate to be an OP but I dont want to get into specifics just yet till I have a little better understanding of myself spiritually.But things came rushing to me from my past when I pondered this question the other night.And it makes me kind of nervous.help! lol .
 
Just my opinion here on this delicate issue.

My question would be, what if hypothetically you did discover you were an OP? Well, let's see. From what was discussed in other threads you might find not to want to go into "deep esoteric stuff" in the abstract as much as others. But that is a relative way of looking at things. I mean you might just want to explore stuff in your own way.

Regarding the "awakening" experience, its really incidental to the person and usually comes along when you least expect such a thing. In fact, some people "awaken" so gradually, it is like watching the hour hand of a clock. It definitely moves, but you cannot see it moving in real-time, so progress can only be seen in hind-sight.

Fortunately, IMO, there is no questionnair to rate oneself. Now again IMO, one might be an OP or just an unidividualized individual if they refuse to believe that there CANNOT be a questionnair (but not understanding WHY there cannot be one does not make one an OP).

In any case, what's the nervousness for? "Oh no! I'm an OP! Now I have to act like a zombie!" It reminds me of certain Star Trek episodes where someone realizes they'r a holodeck program and then someone "real" just turns them while they protest in vain. Everyone is human here.

The thing to know is that whatever label you tack on yourself, you are still the same person you were before the label. The whole distinction IMO is completely counterprocuctive to OP's, while for those of "individuation potential" it helps so they don't try to force people to understand things they can't. Besides, EVERYONE starts off as an OP whether from software or hardware causes. For some it is natural and these are happier that way and for others it is not, and these have a hard time trying to discover themselves.

And its not the "awakening" per se that makes the difference, but the deep itch and urge to search for deep meanings in reality. It's often a painful itch. If you really feel that there is no interconnectedness to life and being, and that what you see is what you get, and you feel that is how things SHOULD BE (at least for you), then its best to keep the OP conclusion out of the assessment, and just live with the fact that you want to relate to the world in YOUR way.

The key is that this is what YOU WANT, and not just some feeling of alienation. In other words, its what is natural for you. Otherwise, if you see this in terms of being an OP or not you may just short-change yourself through some kind of limiting self-labelling, or interpreting OP in oversimplified and derogatory terms that you will feel compelled to live down to.

Even so, self-observation and understanding who you are, what you want from life and knowing your strengths and weaknesses is something useful to everybody and promotes integrity in all cases. And with integrity we need not be resigned to apparent limitations some labels seem to imply when taken at face value.
 
Hey Danny,

Just my thoughts on your worries and a very question I asked myself.

I can understand that feeling of being totally disconnected from any spiritual source or awakening.
It is very frustrating because sometimes, despite all you may know at that point, it does not seem to make much difference.
Sometimes we are blind to our own progress, small they may be but there nonetheless.

Don't forget that we're living in a society that promotes being a machine (like Gurdjeff pointed it out) and where there is not much place for true enlightnement to happen overnight ;).

I think it's a positive sign to ask this question to yourself.
I think that such doubts can help you on your own search for deeper meanings.

On a side note, I always think of the Blade Runner movie, where there is this test to see if you are a replicant or not and the doubt that Deckard (the cop) could be one as well.
 
EQ said:
The whole distinction IMO is completely counterprocuctive to OP's, while for those of "individuation potential" it helps so they don't try to force people to understand things they can't.
I think this is the crux of the matter.

The only other thing I would want to say, and I say it with my tongue approaching cheek... not entirely there... and that is: if a person can really question if they are or aren't, they probably aren't.
 
Danny said:
Could someone maybe come up with like a "organic portal" questionare?
Anyone can come with such a questionnaire. But chances one that the one who comes with it - is an OP :) Publishing a questionnaire about the hypothetical phenomenon, and making other people to believe that the questionnaire has anything to do with the true reality, is propagating ignorance instead of knowledge. Those who propagate ignorance must have no souls, or they have STS-type souls. The truth is that the idea of "no soul", similarly as the idea of a "soul" is a hypothesis. Physicists do not really know what an electron is. They do not know what "energy" is (though they can prove many smart theorems about all kind of energies, theorems based on arbitrary assumptions that seem to be valid at a given span of time). The problems of the "soul" or "no soul" is much more complex than that of an "electron" or of "energy". While in physics we are dealing with third density matter, when it comes to souls and life, things are many orders more complicated, and the responsibility is much greater. If one creates a wrong theory - that is one thing. But if one makes another human being to suffer - that is another thing. Those who come with "questionaires" are simply irresponsible ignorants.

ark
 
I agree with all that has been stated above, and just have one other thing I'd like to add:

Danny said:
But things came rushing to me from my past when I pondered this question the other night.
When I look at my past behaviour, I see LOADS of indications that I could be an OP. My past is littered with behaviour that would be completely foreign to me now. Also, I have never had a 'rush of spiritual awakening' - nope, not me - I've noticed very gradual changes and adjustments over the past four years or so that have changed the entire person that I am. While I have had 'aha' moments, I've never come to a point where I felt, instantaneously, very different, or more spiritual. It has been, for me, a very gradual, very difficult battle to awaken myself, and I don't think I'm even close to being done.

So - my point is that past behaviour doesn't mean much, unless it is also present behaviour (at least in this context).
 
I was considering almost the same thing about being or not being a psycopath, it could be an OP too, but I have not grabbed quite right yet the concept so now that I have been reading the material of Andrew M. Lobaczewski in Laura's articles and books, and I have been answering to myself too... like Laura wrote: “ if a person can really question if they are or aren't, they probably aren't.”

I dont know if trying to identify-cannalize all or most of all my thoughts and actions could be like awakening or develop an spiritual path, but somehow it helps to open my counsciouness, it have been a great help to me in dealing with a trauma-problem-anxiety that I develop 6 years ago.

There was a time that I kept dreaming to go back in time and prevent it, now I think that; yes, it have been quite difficult to learn that lesson, all there is lessons, the C's ketp saying, I cant say, that it is in the past because is not. It kepts coming, affotunately not every day as it was, so I think that is like Anart wrote about the gradual changes.

So viewing in retrospective somehow Im greateful of that trauma-problem-anxiety in particular because It had help me to know me. I am many layers that want to flatten the ones without the noisy stuff.


mabar
 
ok thank you everyone.I think what I have come up against is what is called cognitive dissonance.Not sure.The more information I read about the world and the make-up of things have tossed me asunder.I tend to lash out alot.There is great reference to the movie "the Matrix" here but I wondered if anyone has seen "Dark City" with Kiefer Sutherland but anyway I feel like that lunatic cop that got let go because he just went stir crazy from the glitch he found in this endless loop of time.....great movie I thought .......My point is I guess is that there is alot of work ahead of me to get through the initial shock that the powers that be do not necessarily have my best interests in mind.That the work is never truly finished in this one measely lifetime(if I'm gathering correctly).One thing that really grabs me by the nads is the fact that my parents were devout christians and always asked me to open my heart to Jesus and were firm believers with gleaming smiles on their faces....What is to become of them after this life?? Some lizzie gonna step up and say "Oh heh, how'd ya like that program?You bought the whole thing..hook,line and sinker!
One thing in my past that sticks out for some reason was an experience I had as a child at a Billy Graham crusade.I was 8 or 9 years of age,it was Liberty Stadium in Memphis Tenn.,and the sermon doesnt stick out but the "show" afterwards did.The pouring forth of people stepping forward onto the field towards him to be "saved".It wasn't the actual opening my heart to Jesus feeling that shook me ,it was the amazement that one person with the right affect could control MASSES of people.I had this thought as a kid!!It scared the living shit out of me. and from that day forward I always had a cynical look to things but never had a good reason why.Then SOTT came into my life lol.I have to admit it's alot to chew and swallow.I never imagined what we were up against was at the magnitude that is implied.
 
I'd like to see an improvement in the Myers Briggs personality test first, before others start thinking about something more complex like OPs ect.

I managed to 'flunk' this test somehow when doing an short course at Adult Ed... (and once in the Navy too).

For more info on Myers Briggs - go here. Well worth a look especially if you want to find out how people process information.
http://www.teamtechnology.co.uk/tt/t-articl/mb-simpl.htm

I think I was doing it to find out how to get on better with people at work! I 'scored' as an IS in that test, and was put into another group of three other IS's and given a problem to work on. Well, when the psychologist came round to see how we were going, he almost had to break up a cat fight between me and this other girl. She was most likely very high in the S catagory and therefore 'worked' in completely the opposite way to me. The psychologist declared that I was most likely an IN rather than an IS. I have since found out that I am quite high in this catagory.

This means I am a 'big picture' thinker who wanted background, 'colour', atmosphere and the personal motivations that went along with the problem (it was a real life problem afterall, and I was interested). The girl I came into conflict with was a 'just the facts, maam', 'lets just stick with what we have to do'.... 'we've been given a task, why are you asking these questions?' type person i.e. very process orientated. It was quite an interesting situation.

Myers Briggs test has stood the test of time (accept in my case where I seem to get the wrong result). I'd still like to see it improved because if I keep getting the wrong result, it can't be that reliable, right?

I've got my own ideas about OPs, but I think if you try to make a questionaire, most people will probably have difficulty coming to an agreement on what factors constitute an OP. This is because there seem to be significant varience on what it means (and also, the implications of being one).

As well, you have the STS situation on this planet which invariably creates a situation of 'them and us'. 'Them', being the OPs who MUST be bad ect, ect. This is seen as a significant danger to those who are community minded and don't want to repeat the mistakes of the past.

All together (from what I've seen), you have people who think that OPs are bad and to be avoided at all costs; you have people who think that we are all OPs until we chose not to be; and you have people who think that there's something 'out there' which is a lot more dangerous than an OP and what's all the fuss about anyway (the situation has existed for millenia and its a bit late to get upset about it)! So, creating a questionaire in such an environment would probably be quite difficult.

Maybe another way to look at the issue is for each individual to do a personal examination (or think) about what an OP means to them. It seems to mean different things to different people: cultural, perceptual, intellectual, spiritual and emotional, physical and behavioural.
 
One thing I'd very much like to improve in myself is my patience(or total lack thereof) towards people with a lesser grasp of things than I.I hear some very interesting views on the world sometimes,as so do all of you I'm sure.That coupled with my mental reaction towards our "leaders" in this world(I have a very vivid 'eye for an eye' imagination).I guess ,basically what I'm trying to say is I've got quite the task ahead of me in keeping myself in check.One comment I did get in the not so distant past is that I have to stop dwelling on all the harsh negative things that happen in this world and not carry it around like a veritable Atlas.My rhetort is I wish people would wake the hell up.I'm told I am high strung ,I think the rest of the world is too low strung.
I yell at people alot lately and Everything our puppet president says is like fingernails on a chalkboard.The thought that this stupid man is my spokesman to the world is not only humiliating but downright insane.It truly is difficult and I always get choked up when I say I love this country and what it once stood for but I can't stand behind what it represents any longer.I'm being told I'm over reacting.I say 'where the HELL is the outrage'!!I know the "look" I am getting lately.People think I'm losing it.It is to the point where I am even 2nd guessing myself.
Sometimes it looks as though there are 2 forces of the few fighting for the acceptance of the many.Does that make sense?It's like.....on the one hand we have the psychopaths trying to manipulate everyone for their own cause but then there is the handful out to wrestle the cages of the people trapped in the quagmire of said psychopaths.ok acceptance isnt the right word.Awakening is the only word I can come up with.But my pointis it almost(ALMOST) feels like the same type of result.Maybe I'm rambling but does anyone else feel or see this catch 22?I think it's my own approach.I honestly do start out with a level head explaining things but there comes a point in time where you just wanna shake the hell out of some people.It is frustrating at times.Nevertheless,thank you all,really for casting light on a very important cause.I would still be part of the mindless flock if it werent soley for the people here.
 
Hello all, I am new here and from and at as spanish speaking coutry, tho excuse my misspelling in advance...
Danny, i think you really need a break, and may be, psicological help
What i mean is... you are hurting yourself and others over this.
And to the rest I want to ask, what can one actually do over all this, is like a vicious circle closing over itself, I, like Danny, have also hurting feelings inside, in my case isnt agressive but very depressive and leaves me like without air...
 
Danny you sound fairly sane to me.A friend once said "insanity is a sane response to an insane world" Any one who isn't really pissed off about the current situation is simply not living in the real world. Myself I've thought for a very long time that turning the other cheek and being reasonable is part of the control sytem: be gentle Jesus meek and mild and you'll get your just desserts in heaven AFTER you've been crucified, a meme which must run very deep within the American psyche saturated as it is by "Jesus" the fake artifact/archetype not the actual dude..
What is needed is justice, and the C transcripts has some intereting things to say about the Stalinisation of astrology and the replacement of Scorpionic justice with Libra " balance": on one hand what the neocons are doing is kinda not nice, on the other hand those a-rabs don't bathe much so I suppose they deserve it. That whole be fair and even handed about Good and Evil.. they balance out afterall. Right?
on the other other hand don't you feel like spitting tacks?I saw V/ Vendetta last night and I could really relate.I had the strange sense as I left the theatre that the work of art I'd just seen was more real than the reality I was returning to,the film being as V said "art tells the truth through lies".In the film people had woken up and rebelled: outside it was back to life as usual, nothing happening, she'll be right ( Ilive in Oz/Australia and sometimes I'd really like a pair of ruby slippers).That low strung reality you mentioned as compared with your high strung self.interestingly Laura has posted a new article that I quickly flicked though before I read this A Brief Overview of Positive Disintegration which may help.Are you "overexcitable"!?! lol
If you feel you may be getting in people's face with what you think and feel, and upsetting them and taking away their free will by your "odd" behaviour consider A) you live in the Belly of The Beast b) you're kinda crazy (ain't we all?) and c)we're fighting for our lives and souls here.
As long as you are not contravening anyone's free will in the process of waking them and your self up you're not being like 'them". That's a ticklish one. Quite often I drop this knowledge, and if the person doesn't want to listen (but sometimes they do-how to tell?) then I drop the subject.
take care
 
Diamanda Galas: "We are all HIV+."
MaskedAvatar: "We are all organic portals."

It is in our instinctive centres that we begin life as automatons, and in every aspect of "waking" life we can never escape this home truth.

But if we take our decisions and act in adult life on some principle, not on blind dogma and not on the more mercenary social and religious programming, then are we not a different (I will not say "better") OP?
 
Danny, could you please tell me (YOU, Danny) what is a Organic Portal?
Dont send me to read anything. Dont quote anybody. Please, just tell me, explain me please, what is a Organic Portal?
 
Well, if being pissed off about what's going on not only in the US, but the whole world makes me an OP then thumbs up to the OP's!

From your recent posts, however, it's clear that this is not the real issue here. This issue is about being filled with the energy to act and having nowhere to direct direct it. Like a bowstring pulled back to its limit without having a target for the arrow to meet.

First, I want to say that I think that is natural. Sure, you can have a target and then pull back the bow string, but sometimes the string gets pulled back, and the only thing you can do is hold the tension until you find your target. Otherwise you waste your shot, and all the energy that went into it.

Second, I'd like to say: Justice is a dish best served cold. That's right. The powers that be are manipulators who would like nothing better than for us to waste our energy on impulsive actions, especially when they fill our field of vision with false targets and paper dummies (like the esteemed US President).

Third, the situation the whole world is under is a psychopathic disease, like a tumor. If you try to attack a tumor aggressively with a bowie knife, you'll probably end up killing yourself (and do the psychopaths a favor). Before we can deal with the disease, we must know the disease, inside and out, top to bottom and from all angles.

These psychopaths are master manipulators who spend most of their time plotting and planning. They are cold, and if they are not really calculating reptiles, they surely act like them.

Feeling your blood boil means you have the power, strenght and determination to act, which seems to be rare in Amerika at this time. But that is only half the equation. You need to balance that heat with cold objective understanding so you may know when, where and how to act to get results. The PTB has spent generations manipulating the world and at least decades planning their latest fiasco. Those who will counter them cannot expect to come up with solutions in a day.

The thing is, getting an understanding of the situtation down to its deepest roots IS a step in dealing with it, just as being filled with the motivating power of outrage is another step. These two elements are like ingredients that need to be combined carefully to provide the reaction we want, a reaction that will give true results and solutions. If one is hasty the reaction is explosive, you draw attention to yourself prematurely and effort is wasted. And as this time we are looking for REAL and not just PTB-fabricated solutions, we really don't have prior experience here, and are truly moving through a frontier.

So one needs to be a frontiersman, with the strength, power and motivation to move forward, but also the caution, forethought and observancy of someone treading carefully into the unknown.

All in all, what you describe are natural symptoms of energies similar to brainstorming a solution (before that solution reveals itself), although these fill the whole being. I agree with Godot, in that this sounds like something in the article "A Brief Overview of Positive Disintegration". Namely, it sounds like positive disintegration, which can lead to a whole new restructuring of your being to give you the solutions you seek.
 
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