I come across this book (Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock the Potential in Yourself and Your Organization) recently, and I find it very interesting since the subject that it covers has been on my mind for a while now. The book attempts to answer the question as to why it is difficult for people to make the changes that they actually want to make, what gets in the way, and how to go about approaching whatever is that they're trying to achieve in a different manner. The authors note that we genuinely want change, but are unknowingly "immune" due to competing commitments and big assumptions that safeguard our current mindset and identity. Essentially it's about uncovering the subconscious commitments and beliefs that oppose our stated aims, without us knowing that this is what's happening. It reminded me of the popular quote stating that we cannot solve our problems with the same level of thinking (or consciousness) we used when we created them. We know from books such as Strangers to Ourselves that we don't really know ourselves, but this one really brings home the message since it's based on an exercise you can do yourself and see it in action, whereas with Strangers to Ourselves it remains more theoretical than practical unless you're actively networking, asking for feedback and aiming to consciously integrate the lessons.
The classical way to go about making changes it to formulate an aim and then come up with technical solutions; you take on behaviors that will presumably get you to where you want to be, it's the willpower approach. An example would be starting a diet, exercising, etc. This can work just fine in some areas of life, you adopt certain behaviors and you're successful, but sometimes even these seemingly simple changes have been shown not to work, for instance there are studies showing that most people that have a goal of losing weight end up regaining it shortly after.
So if we have an area in our lives where adopting technical/behavioral solutions doesn't quite work, the authors show that what actually happens is that underneath our stated goals, there are goals and commitments that we have that we aren't aware of and which work in direct opposition to the stated aim, they essentially keep us in place because they have to do with self-protection or self-preservation. For instance, a person can have an aim to be more open to feedback, but if subconsciously there's a fear of looking stupid, that fear will make sure that their actual aim is to protect themselves from looking stupid and their behavior will be a result of this, which obviously works in direct contradiction to the stated aim of being more open to feedback, and if it's based on a deep seated fear, it will win over the stated conscious aim. Adding in new behavior will only do so much, and the person will probably in time revert back to things being as they were unless the underlying issue is seen and recognized. Like a house divided against itself and us not realizing that that is the case. It just brought home the message to me how easy it is too fool ourselves without even realizing it. A part of us might really want change, but another is fighting to keep things as they are.
What they propose is that instead of viewing the problem as a technical one (where you just adopt different behaviors or habits), to view it as an adaptive one, one in which we need to both view and formulate the problem differently and in which we ourselves would need to adapt or change in some way.
To help people see how they're standing in their own way (though unconsciously), they have a simple exercise consisting of four columns, a mental map of sorts.
I'll explain it briefly, and below is an image with an example of how it looks when it's filled out.
Column 1 starts with identifying improvement goal or aspiration. It answers the question: "If you can get significantly better at one aspect, what would it be?" It's something that invites you to a fuller expression of yourself, something that you personally want to get better at. It's something that you have to grow into in order to achieve it. Leaving aside any skepticism whether it's achievable or if you failed at it in the past. Some examples would be: "I want to get better at saying no", "I want to be a better listener", "I want to be more spontaneous."
In column 2 you'd list all the things that stand in the way, that works against, and are in contradiction to the stated goal from column 1. These would be both actions you take or inactions.
Column 3 has two parts, in the worry box you'd look at what you wrote down in column 2 and answer the following question for each entry: "If I imagine myself trying to do the opposite of this, what is the most uncomfortable or worrisome or outright scary feeling that comes up for me?," and the second part is to for each of the fears that you identify to come up with a possible competing commitments that is standing in the way of the goal from column 1, in short it's about recognizing the unconscious competing commitments/goals. For instance, the example from the image below has a person that wants to be a better listener, and in the third column it shows that his competing goal is to not look stupid. He worries that if he listens, people are going to be disdainful, and he is going to feel humiliated. Which means that this is what is preventing him from making any progress on his goal, and it's what's generating the behaviors in column 2, they are the outcomes of these unconscious commitments, the behaviors themselves are a symptom and give us a picture as to what might be actually happening. Before doing the exercise, he didn't realize that he even had these fears and that they were working against him. If he would adopt the usual willpower approach, it wouldn't actually lead to a change since the unconscious competing commitments/goals would still remain in place.
The 4th column is about identifying the core assumptions that keep us stuck. Here you'd look at the column 3 entries and brainstorm all the possible assumptions a person who had such commitments might hold.
What happens upon completing the chart is that people usually come up with a realization that they're "screwed" in a sense that they recognize that the aim they have is being undermined by unconscious process that they weren't aware of and which is working in opposition to their stated aim. It's like having a foot on the gas pedal, and another on the break, and if you find yourself in such a situation, you can't really willpower yourself out of it, or maybe you can but it will be to a limited extent and it won't lead to a lasting change.
I can't do justice to the book with this review, so if it resonates with you, do check out the book, I think it could be helpful to many. I found a YouTube video where the author summarizes the research and walks you through the exercises (the exercise starts at 28:00 min mark). I'll probably make another post in the future where they go into what can be done in face of these internal contradictions, if others find it helpful, but I think just the above is a enough for now. In just seeing internal self-contradictions, it opens your mind to seeing things differently and to come up with different approaches, like standing above a problem, it stops you from engaging in the same things over and over again and spinning you wheels needlessly.
The classical way to go about making changes it to formulate an aim and then come up with technical solutions; you take on behaviors that will presumably get you to where you want to be, it's the willpower approach. An example would be starting a diet, exercising, etc. This can work just fine in some areas of life, you adopt certain behaviors and you're successful, but sometimes even these seemingly simple changes have been shown not to work, for instance there are studies showing that most people that have a goal of losing weight end up regaining it shortly after.
So if we have an area in our lives where adopting technical/behavioral solutions doesn't quite work, the authors show that what actually happens is that underneath our stated goals, there are goals and commitments that we have that we aren't aware of and which work in direct opposition to the stated aim, they essentially keep us in place because they have to do with self-protection or self-preservation. For instance, a person can have an aim to be more open to feedback, but if subconsciously there's a fear of looking stupid, that fear will make sure that their actual aim is to protect themselves from looking stupid and their behavior will be a result of this, which obviously works in direct contradiction to the stated aim of being more open to feedback, and if it's based on a deep seated fear, it will win over the stated conscious aim. Adding in new behavior will only do so much, and the person will probably in time revert back to things being as they were unless the underlying issue is seen and recognized. Like a house divided against itself and us not realizing that that is the case. It just brought home the message to me how easy it is too fool ourselves without even realizing it. A part of us might really want change, but another is fighting to keep things as they are.
What they propose is that instead of viewing the problem as a technical one (where you just adopt different behaviors or habits), to view it as an adaptive one, one in which we need to both view and formulate the problem differently and in which we ourselves would need to adapt or change in some way.
To help people see how they're standing in their own way (though unconsciously), they have a simple exercise consisting of four columns, a mental map of sorts.
I'll explain it briefly, and below is an image with an example of how it looks when it's filled out.
Column 1 starts with identifying improvement goal or aspiration. It answers the question: "If you can get significantly better at one aspect, what would it be?" It's something that invites you to a fuller expression of yourself, something that you personally want to get better at. It's something that you have to grow into in order to achieve it. Leaving aside any skepticism whether it's achievable or if you failed at it in the past. Some examples would be: "I want to get better at saying no", "I want to be a better listener", "I want to be more spontaneous."
In column 2 you'd list all the things that stand in the way, that works against, and are in contradiction to the stated goal from column 1. These would be both actions you take or inactions.
Column 3 has two parts, in the worry box you'd look at what you wrote down in column 2 and answer the following question for each entry: "If I imagine myself trying to do the opposite of this, what is the most uncomfortable or worrisome or outright scary feeling that comes up for me?," and the second part is to for each of the fears that you identify to come up with a possible competing commitments that is standing in the way of the goal from column 1, in short it's about recognizing the unconscious competing commitments/goals. For instance, the example from the image below has a person that wants to be a better listener, and in the third column it shows that his competing goal is to not look stupid. He worries that if he listens, people are going to be disdainful, and he is going to feel humiliated. Which means that this is what is preventing him from making any progress on his goal, and it's what's generating the behaviors in column 2, they are the outcomes of these unconscious commitments, the behaviors themselves are a symptom and give us a picture as to what might be actually happening. Before doing the exercise, he didn't realize that he even had these fears and that they were working against him. If he would adopt the usual willpower approach, it wouldn't actually lead to a change since the unconscious competing commitments/goals would still remain in place.
The 4th column is about identifying the core assumptions that keep us stuck. Here you'd look at the column 3 entries and brainstorm all the possible assumptions a person who had such commitments might hold.
What happens upon completing the chart is that people usually come up with a realization that they're "screwed" in a sense that they recognize that the aim they have is being undermined by unconscious process that they weren't aware of and which is working in opposition to their stated aim. It's like having a foot on the gas pedal, and another on the break, and if you find yourself in such a situation, you can't really willpower yourself out of it, or maybe you can but it will be to a limited extent and it won't lead to a lasting change.
I can't do justice to the book with this review, so if it resonates with you, do check out the book, I think it could be helpful to many. I found a YouTube video where the author summarizes the research and walks you through the exercises (the exercise starts at 28:00 min mark). I'll probably make another post in the future where they go into what can be done in face of these internal contradictions, if others find it helpful, but I think just the above is a enough for now. In just seeing internal self-contradictions, it opens your mind to seeing things differently and to come up with different approaches, like standing above a problem, it stops you from engaging in the same things over and over again and spinning you wheels needlessly.
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