In our eyes

[knowledge_of_self]

I also agree that both stuttering and averting of one's gaze are connected with self esteem and possible childhood trauma.

I agree with this also. Something interesting I thought about while reading this thread is how certain types of behaviors such as shuttering or looking away while talking to someone are now being used to incriminate people in the US airports by the TSA and their SPOT program is an example.

And to think that most people's reactions are caused by trauma or self esteem issues, and that they are being incriminated for it... it's just so wrong!

 

[Aliana]

I also agree that both stuttering and averting of one's gaze are connected with self esteem and possible childhood trauma.

I agree with this also. Something interesting I thought about while reading this thread is how certain types of behaviors such as shuttering or looking away while talking to someone are now being used to incriminate people in the US airports by the TSA and their SPOT program is an example.

And to think that most people's reactions are caused by trauma or self esteem issues, and that they are being incriminated for it... it's just so wrong!

I agree with this as well. I unconsciously used to keep my eyes averted when speaking to people; and I would tend to always look down. It was a habit since childhood – I had extreme social anxiety growing up and I think it was part of my strategy of trying to appear subservient / invisible so as to not incur the wrath of parents and other authority figures. The habit lingered for years after I became less anxiety prone and more socially adept.

It was not until I was in my 40’s that a family friend who met me for the first time observed this and it was then pointed out to me. I suppose it was such a part of my persona that no one in my family had noticed before that. The good news is that I began to pay more attention and to try to look people in the eyes while speaking to them. Slowly over a period of time I was able to do so without feeling uncomfortable.

I also know a couple of people who stutter – both are highly intelligent and I think very conscientious. It feels to me as part anxiety in social situations and partly that there is so much going on in their brains that they are overwhelmed when trying to speak. Just my observation, and of course do not really know.

It seems so wrong for people to be incriminated for behaviors of which they are unconscious, and/or because of childhood trauma. It's ridiculous when it's the psychopaths who never have a problem looking someone directly in the eye and lying through their teeth.

 

[Arreis13]

That's interesting about the airport spot program. I was recently flying to Omaha and I am normally nervous around alto of people yet I felt as if the security were almost forcing negative energy on people as to get a rise out of them? Also I think my anxiety with eye contact may have a lot to do with my shyness and low self esteem. I have dark skin and light eyes and I have never felt like I "fit in". So I would wear sunglasses which really helped with not standing out so much. Just thought I would give

 

[little_star_orion]

I think there is a difference in looking into someone’s eyes or to stare like a psychopath. I think the psychopath used the staring to manipulate/hypnotize someone. To manipulate how someone else is thinking/seeing the world.

But just looking into someone’s eye's is/feels quite different. I think it also has a bounding concept.
I have always learnt to look at someone when I speak with someone. If someone would not look at me, it feels as if they are not interested in what I say (it is than almost like being impolite).

But I have always notice that people with bad intensions always have this little evil shine into their eyes. I mostly use looking into people’s eye to test whether they speak the truth or not. But then I do not know whether it are the eyes that are the sign for speaking the truth or the feeling that it gives me.
If someone tells me to believe him and I see this evil shine in the eyes, I know I cannot truth him at all.

 

[doublea1535]

I think there is a difference in looking into someone’s eyes or to stare like a psychopath. I think the psychopath used the staring to manipulate/hypnotize someone. To manipulate how someone else is thinking/seeing the world.

It's a battle of will to force the other person to back down, and see themselves (reflected in your behavior) as the more dominate individual. And it usually works too, leaving the other person feeling unnerved.

But I have always notice that people with bad intensions always have this little evil shine into their eyes.
...
If someone tells me to believe him and I see this evil shine in the eyes, I know I cannot truth him at all.

I've noticed that as well. That glint of evil in their eyes, self-satisfaction as they look you up and down, assessing you, and see in their mind that you are weaker than them. A silent form of mockery.

I mostly use looking into people’s eye to test whether they speak the truth or not. But then I do not know whether it are the eyes that are the sign for speaking the truth or the feeling that it gives me.

Be careful how much faith you place in that observation, some can do it without the evil glint.

Another aspect of eye avoidance can be facial tension, AKA tension in the social engagement muscles. This has happened to me alot, for a long time. Much tension in the neck and head "scrunches" up all the muscles in the face, making it hard (impossible) to simply look at someone in a relaxed fashion, instead having to grimace, which can (will) send the wrong message to the person.