Just a dog story

[loreta]

Nienna, yes, I know. I am not abandoning him. I take care of him, looked for a solution. Suddenly I have the sensation that all of this has to do about responsibility. How it is important to be responsible. And my dilemma, my pain inside, was about "Am I enough responsible for this dog even if I let him go?" I don't want to be like my mother, or like me years ago, an irresponsible. The pain in me, the sadness to see that maybe I did not change at all, that I was like years before. I can see now that no, I am responsible. The question is: how come I did not see that I was responsible?

I am going to take the last sentence as a non-rhetorical question and make a comment. :)

It could be that you have been so focused on not repeating what your mother did that it blinded you to anything else. Fear is one of the most debilitating things and dampens our ability to think straight if it is too overwhelming. Maybe you already knew this and my reply isn't necessary. If this is so then good for you! If not, good for you for wanting to get to the bottom of this! Onwards and upwards! :)

It was a non-rhetorical question. I know that fear is strong ingredient in my life. But in the case of this dog, I was not aware that fear was part of the problematic. I also know that fear, for me, is jointed with guilty.

Thanks Nienna. Many things to think about thanks to this little dog that came as a gift in my life. And thanks to all your advices, all of you.

Today I went to the vet for his vaccines. I signed a contract with the association that I am a rescue family till the dog will be send to Germany or be adopted with a good family here or elsewhere. since 2 days the dog is learning how to play with the devil Arturo. Both together are really cute. I am thinking to give my name to be a rescue family (or shelter family) for dogs that are waiting to be adopted, these dogs can be at home around 3 months. They are in need of rescue families. and I need to do something concrete for dogs, and learn about detachment.

 

[ApotheosisMMC.]

thank you ... nice story after all ... I had a similar case with a lost dog, it was presumably in a camp next to the city (the February 27 earthquake had occurred in chile) and the day I tried to go look for it my parents prevented me from taking a trip and for years I felt that I had betrayed my friend by leaving him alone ... you were really in a difficult situation, the feeling of being responsible and thinking that the dog would change over time are situations that are present. ..but really the dogs need a special teaching many times to change their behavior and you could not give it ... I'm glad you're on the right track again.

 

[loreta]

Thank you Matías, I really feel better about this little dog. And I understand your sentiment concerning the dog that you wanted to go to see after the earthquake. It is in the past, I tell myself when some days the images of some animals I did not take care of them come to my mind, I just ask for forgiveness, but some times it is very difficult.

 

[ApotheosisMMC.]

only lessons, it is certain that now you would take another decision and you do not have a dependency on your parents that determines your actions to a large extent ... I already stop judging myself for that, even though it seems very sinister

 

[loreta]

only lessons, it is certain that now you would take another decision and you do not have a dependency on your parents that determines your actions to a large extent ... I already stop judging myself for that, even though it seems very sinister

You are right Matías! and next time also I will be less automatic.