Thank you everyone here ( and
@Laura ) once more for all the love and support and prayers for my loving grandfather.
Today we had lovely ceremony for him although it was very hard for me to be there due to very bad
realations betwen all of us.
First my aunt (she is a snake ) 'accidentaly' put on grandfathers obituary that I don't have a husband,
while other grandchildren were writen with spouses. Her son and doughter to be more precisely.
But it was ok by me. Was not surprised at all, I used to all of her ploting, gossiping around and trying
to put her kids first like everything is some sick contest .
And after not seeing some relatives for more than 20 years I put 2+2 to realise she gave her heart and soul to
klevetajte me u svakoj prilici jer su ljudi bili čudni gledajući me poput 'Zašto je ona uopće ovdje..?'
Most of people was so nice and heartwarming to see. My heart is full.
Lots of huging and kissing, nice words.
From people that were my extended family also until i was kicked out by my closer one.
It's shame that most of ordinary people get that only in occasions like this.
And regarding my father who was actaually my biggest concern - well, he ignored me and my doughter
comepletely.
First he stared at the floor like she is not in front of him. Ignor 100%
Didn't want to shake my hand or even look at me either when I tryed to give my condolence.
So you know what I did ? I hugged him !
I don't know how the hell that happened but I was like octopus holding him tight for some
10 seconds until he start crying.
My mind was going wild at the moment like WTH am I doing ???
But my heart was so, so.... I don't even know how to call that kind of love I was experiancing at the moment ?
All pervasive love ?
Like 'Ok, you're scumbag, you used and hurt so much people, you do not deserve to breath, but it's ok and I love you ?!'
But it's probably only me cause after he ignored us further.
My aunt was runing the show, uncle tried to be invisible.
My nonexisting husband (for them ) blend in perfectly in every moment and I'm so gratefull for his
support. He is not 'approved' cause he is 20 older that me. Well, what can you do...
My doughter said ' well, at least now I know what he looks like' for my dad.
And that love, respect and understanding are stronger than blood.
So it's better to choose soulmates to become our family and this by blood given family
should be taken only as lessons if there isn't nothing more possible.
You can not force anything, only make an offer.
The ones who should stick around will accept and make something of it.
Sounds good to me.
I couldn't visit and see my grandmother in nursing home because of the f*****g flu season
and they do not let anyone in. Not by any reason.
I feel so helpless but that's just the way it is at the moment.
My heart is with all of you that go through something similar, this world is crazy.
Take care guys and give love, we got this
