TheSpoon
Jedi
"Keep a low profile, son", my Dad always says to me. I must ask him where that attitude came from. I assume he's trying to protect me from predators. Perhaps he's hoping that I'll develop some sort of social camouflage.
My wife and I were discussing playground politics yesterday evening. Our son (who's just the friendliest little chap that any parents could ask for) had encountered another kid much bigger than him who'd pushed him down a number of times. This has happened to him before; the wife was telling me about him playing quite happily in a soft play area when another kid started throwing blocks at him and kept on throwing blocks until he fell down crying.
That night I had a dream about being back at school. I walked through crowds of children until I came to the guys I used to hang out with, and my son was there. When I woke up I thought that his being there was something of an anomaly until I remembered what I'd been discussing with my wife. I realised that what my son is experiencing now, I had also experienced at school. In fact one occasion particularly comes to mind when - with no obvious provocation - I was picked up by someone much larger than me and dumped in a puddle.
I'd started out my time at the school being very open, approachable, chatty happy and friendly, and after a year there I was more withdrawn, quiet and cautious.
It seems to me that, as a result of meeting bullies, people who shine - who want to share joy with the world - learn to hide their true selves and conform to what society wants them to be - normal. And I think bullies target happy open people because they think they'll get away with it. Happy people don't give off an air of "If you mess with me, I will mess you back 10 times worse".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmavihara
Sympathetic Joy, where seeing other people being happy makes you happy, is one of the Four Buddhist Brahmaviharas (Noble Virtues). But it's interesting that rejoicing in the happiness of others is described as a virtue, like it's something that needs to be cultivated. Like it's not behaviour that would be expected and taken for granted as an integral part of the human condition. I think British people are particularly lacking in this regard. Like if they see someone walking down the street smiling, they're most likely to think "What's wrong with him?", "What drugs is he on?", and so on.
Is it resentment, jealousy? Is it "Why should you be happy when I'm not happy"? Or is the world just such an unpleasant place that the only sane reaction to it is depression?
So what's on my mind today? I think I'm p'd off that society apparently doesn't want it's members to be happy. And I'm depressed that the suppression of joy that my father and schooling instilled in me is going to have to be instilled in my son if he's going to "fit in". It's either that or accept a lifetime of being pushed into puddles.
My wife and I were discussing playground politics yesterday evening. Our son (who's just the friendliest little chap that any parents could ask for) had encountered another kid much bigger than him who'd pushed him down a number of times. This has happened to him before; the wife was telling me about him playing quite happily in a soft play area when another kid started throwing blocks at him and kept on throwing blocks until he fell down crying.
That night I had a dream about being back at school. I walked through crowds of children until I came to the guys I used to hang out with, and my son was there. When I woke up I thought that his being there was something of an anomaly until I remembered what I'd been discussing with my wife. I realised that what my son is experiencing now, I had also experienced at school. In fact one occasion particularly comes to mind when - with no obvious provocation - I was picked up by someone much larger than me and dumped in a puddle.
I'd started out my time at the school being very open, approachable, chatty happy and friendly, and after a year there I was more withdrawn, quiet and cautious.
It seems to me that, as a result of meeting bullies, people who shine - who want to share joy with the world - learn to hide their true selves and conform to what society wants them to be - normal. And I think bullies target happy open people because they think they'll get away with it. Happy people don't give off an air of "If you mess with me, I will mess you back 10 times worse".
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brahmavihara
Sympathetic Joy, where seeing other people being happy makes you happy, is one of the Four Buddhist Brahmaviharas (Noble Virtues). But it's interesting that rejoicing in the happiness of others is described as a virtue, like it's something that needs to be cultivated. Like it's not behaviour that would be expected and taken for granted as an integral part of the human condition. I think British people are particularly lacking in this regard. Like if they see someone walking down the street smiling, they're most likely to think "What's wrong with him?", "What drugs is he on?", and so on.
Is it resentment, jealousy? Is it "Why should you be happy when I'm not happy"? Or is the world just such an unpleasant place that the only sane reaction to it is depression?
So what's on my mind today? I think I'm p'd off that society apparently doesn't want it's members to be happy. And I'm depressed that the suppression of joy that my father and schooling instilled in me is going to have to be instilled in my son if he's going to "fit in". It's either that or accept a lifetime of being pushed into puddles.