Let the thought games begin...

Mililea

The Living Force
FOTCM Member
I had a philosophical moment last week :-[ (in the spoiler you will find the original german version) and @Luks I hope you will enjoy the paragraphs from an funny old lady :-P (but maybe someone could help the old lady to create the correct Spoiler button? :headbash:

... A white sheet... what is there to write on it. Months have passed, full of thoughts, full of knowledge. Knowledge needs to be learned. Is it the right way? My heart says yes. Just don't fall asleep again. Sometimes knowledge is a burden, it would be easier without .... But would it really? Never! It is an honour to have received this knowledge. But from whom did I receive it? From myself in the future? What will I think about myself in the future? Is perhaps my time not yet right now? The time when my help is needed, when I can apply my knowledge? Do I already have enough knowledge? And the biggest fear is if I have the right knowledge. Because as I have learned, wrong knowledge is even worse than none at all. There are so many pitfalls...

So many lessons I have had to learn, so many tasks have already been set for me in my present life. Have I mastered them all? Somehow I am still here, anyway. And I have grown from it, from all these tasks. But can that already be the goal? I am afraid not. We are waiting for the big showdown. Here everyone has a chance to apply their knowledge. Or is that just wishful thinking? Wishful thinking that we could make a difference? Won't we also be hiding under the rocks when the big showdown starts? I hope not, I wish that I can keep the inner trust. That it is not hopeless. That it's all worth it. As I write this, I have something like a guilty conscience... towards myself and especially towards myself in the future. If I have made it into the future, as I understand it. Then there must be hope. I can feel it.

I often think about what you might know now... mum, dad, grandma... all those who have already left. What advice would you give me now? I only know I will never give myself up again. I will stay in my line and will not do or say anything that would betray my inner conviction. Maybe sometimes you have to be diplomatic for security reasons, but there is no reason not to be true to yourself. And maybe it can be an inspiration to others. Maybe it's like with children, we live for them and they live what they see from us. But should that be the goal? Shouldn't they also work on their own knowledge? Have I really acquired my own knowledge? Or is it ok to get my knowledge only from books, in which other great people have put a lot of work. Is that fair distribution?
I would so much like to give something of the gift back.

I feel a little like I don't have enough time right now. I would like to do everything at once and know everything at once. I'm soaking it all up inside me. But I realize again and again that it just isn't possible. So I trust that the right and most important information will come my way. It often exceeds my powers and I simply fall asleep over reading. But as far as I have understood, this is also important to manifest the knowledge. In the meantime I can even remember my dreams again. However, it is very difficult to interpret if and if so what meaning they have and what they want to tell me or rather WHO wants to tell me something. At the moment I have the feeling that all the unfinished things are coming to light in my dreams. But is it enough to process them in my dreams? Or are they important enough to be dealt with in real life? Is it enough if I work on them inside me or should my dreams be a guide to contact the people I see there? Where will I find the answers?

I sometimes wish I had my own C on my shoulder😊 Maybe I do and I imagine him/her putting his hands over his head or laughing his head off. About my childish exercises to move towards STO. And my failed attempts at doing so. But maybe there was already rejoicing when brain convolutions connected again or when I approached a situation differently than just a few years ago because of the new knowledge. These are all possibilities that buzz through my head like buzzing bees. All in all it is a positive and beautiful feeling to be where I am now with all these tasks. Because I am needed and if only by myself.

All my life I have always felt that something is there. Something that touches me. I could never really describe it well. I did everything rather from the heart and from the stomach. So in general I did it more than talking about it. Through more knowledge the possibilities are refined - I have the feeling. The perspectives become infinite and I think about connections that I would never have found on my own. It is like a crackling in the brain. Like a child learning new things and discovering the world. Together with everyone else who has set out on the same path.

Thank you for being here guys!


Ein weißes Blatt… was gibt es drauf zu schreiben. Monate sind vergangen, voller Gedanken, voller Erkenntnisse. Wissen will gelernt werden. Ist es der richtige Weg? Mein Herz sagt ja. Jetzt nur nicht wieder einschlafen. Manchmal ist das Wissen eine Last, es wäre einfacher ohne…. Aber wäre es das wirklich? Niemals! Es ist eine Ehre dieses Wissen erhalten zu haben. Aber von wem habe ich es erhalten? Von mir selbst in der Zukunft? Was werde ich wohl über mich denken in der Zukunft? Ist vielleicht jetzt mein Zeitpunkt noch nicht gekommen? Der Zeitpunkt an dem meine Hilfe vonnöten ist, an dem ich mein Wissen anwenden kann? Habe ich überhaupt bereits genug Wissen? Und die größte Angst, habe ich das richtige Wissen. Denn wie ich gelernt habe ist falsches Wissen noch schlimmer als gar keines. Es gibt so viele Stolperfallen…

So viele Lektionen musste ich schon lernen, so viele Aufgaben sind mir in meinem jetzigen Leben bereits gestellt worden. Habe ich sie alle gemeistert? Irgendwie bin ich jedenfalls immernoch da. Und ich bin daran gewachsen, an all diesen Aufgaben. Aber kann das schon das Ziel sein? Ich befürchte nicht. Wir warten auf den großen Showdown. Hier hat jeder die Chance sein Wissen anzuwenden. Oder ist das nur Wunschdenken? Wunschdenken, wir könnten etwas bewirken? Werden wir uns nicht auch unter den Steinen verkriechen wenn die große Show beginnt? Ich hoffe nicht, ich wünsche mir, dass ich das innere Vertrauen behalten kann. Dass es nicht hoffnungslos ist. Dass sich das alles lohnt. Während ich dies schreibe, habe ich so etwas wie ein schlechtes Gewissen… mir selbst gegenüber und vor allem mir selbst in der Zukunft gegenüber. Wenn ich es in die Zukunft geschafft habe, so wie ich das verstehe. Dann muss es Hoffnung geben. Ich kann es fühlen.

Ich denke oft darüber nach, was ihr jetzt vielleicht wisst… Mama, Papa, Oma… alle die bereits gegangen sind. Welche Ratschläge würdet ihr mir jetzt geben? Ich weiß nur ich werde mich nie wieder selbst verraten oder aufgeben. Ich bleibe in meiner Linie und werde nichts tun oder sagen, was meine innere Überzeugung verraten würde. Vielleicht muss man manchmal aus Sicherheitsgründen diplomatisch sein, aber es gibt keinen Grund sich selbst nicht treu zu bleiben. Und vielleicht kann es eine Inspiration für andere sein. Möglicherweise ist es wie mit Kindern, wir leben ihnen vor und sie leben es nach. Aber sollte das das Ziel sein? Sollten sie nicht auch ihr eigenes Wissen erarbeiten? Habe ich tatsächlich mein Wissen selbst erarbeitet? Oder ist es ok, mein Wissen nur aus Büchern zu bekommen, in die andere, tolle Menschen sehr viel Arbeit gesteckt haben. Ist das gerechte Aufteilung? Ich möchte so gerne etwas von dem Geschenk zurück geben.

Ich fühle mich ein bisschen, als hätte ich nicht genug Zeit im Moment. Ich würde gerne alles auf einmal machen und alles auf einmal wissen. Ich sauge alles in mir auf. Aber ich stelle immer wieder fest, das geht einfach nicht. Also vertraue ich darauf, dass mir die richtigen und wichtigsten Informationen über den Weg laufen. Oft übersteigt es meine Kräfte und ich schlafe einfach über dem Lesen ein. Soweit ich verstanden habe, ist aber auch das wichtig um das Wissen zu manifestieren. Mittlerweile kann ich mich sogar wieder an meine Träume erinnern. Allerdings ist es sehr schwer, zu deuten ob und wenn ja welchen Sinn sie haben und was sie mir sagen wollen oder vielmehr WER mir etwas sagen will. Im Moment habe ich das Gefühl, es kommen lauter unerledigte Dinge zutage in meinen Träumen. Aber reicht es dann, sie in meinen Träumen zu verarbeiten? Oder sind sie wichtig genug um sie im echten Leben zu behandeln oder zu bearbeiten? Reicht es wenn ich sie in mir bearbeite oder sollen meine Träume Wegweiser sein die Menschen zu kontaktieren, die ich dort sehe? Wo werde ich die Antworten darauf finden?

Ich wünsche mir manchmal meinen eigenen C auf meiner Schulter 😊 Vielleicht habe ich das sogar und ich stelle mir vor, wie er/sie die Hände über dem Kopf zusammenschlägt oder sich kaputt lacht. Über meine kindlichen Übungen mich in Richtung STO zu bewegen. Und meine gescheiterten Versuche dabei. Vielleicht gab es aber auch schon Jubel, wenn sich wieder Gehirnwindungen verbunden haben oder ich eine Situation aufgrund des neuen Wissens anders angegangen bin, als noch vor wenigen Jahren. Das alles sind Möglichkeiten, die mir wie summende Bienen durch den Kopf schwirren. Alles in Allem ist es ein positives und schönes Gefühl da zu sein, wo ich jetzt bin mit all diesen Aufgaben. Denn ich werde gebraucht und wenn es nur von mir selbst ist.

Mein ganzes Leben lang habe ich immer gespürt dass etwas da ist. Etwas, das mich berührt. Ich konnte es nie richtig gut beschreiben. Ich habe alles eher aus dem Herzen heraus gemacht und aus dem Bauch. Also überhaupt habe ich es mehr gemacht, als darüber zu sprechen. Durch mehr Wissen verfeinern sich die Möglichkeiten - habe ich das Gefühl. Die Betrachtungsweisen werden unendlich und ich denke über Zusammenhänge nach, die ich niemals alleine gefunden hätte. Es ist wie ein Knistern im Gehirn. Wie ein Kind, das Neues lernt und die Welt entdeckt. Zusammen mit allen anderen, die sich auf den gleichen Weg gemacht haben.

Danke, dass es euch gibt!


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@Luks[/USER] I hope you will enjoy the paragraphs from an funny old lady :-P
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Hahaha! No shortcuts. Practice makes perfect :-) I think this is true of using the forum as well as other situations.

Many things are seen only close to the end of your journey and you have to first walk a long stretch with no visible end, but when you finally get to the end of this episode, you will be well aware of it and the various issues will become clearer and easier. That's my opinion.

You are probably familiar with Eiriu-Eolas and Cassiopaean Crystals... Both of these things, according to the Cassiopaeans, allow some connection with us in the future. I think this is something that can put us in the right direction when we swing. So if you are unfamiliar with any of them, I recommend that you get interested. If you know it, treat it properly and it will surely work in your life :-) It helped me.
 
Hahaha! No shortcuts. Practice makes perfect :-) I think this is true of using the forum as well as other situations.

Many things are seen only close to the end of your journey and you have to first walk a long stretch with no visible end, but when you finally get to the end of this episode, you will be well aware of it and the various issues will become clearer and easier. That's my opinion.

You are probably familiar with Eiriu-Eolas and Cassiopaean Crystals... Both of these things, according to the Cassiopaeans, allow some connection with us in the future. I think this is something that can put us in the right direction when we swing. So if you are unfamiliar with any of them, I recommend that you get interested. If you know it, treat it properly and it will surely work in your life :-) It helped me.
Yes, no shortcuts... that is very true. I'm very grateful for the little hint in the other thread, because I actually didn't pay attention to it...
My crystals are daily companions. I love them and the connection they create.
I know Eiriu Eolas of course, but I admit I can do more in that direction. The other day I practised it before a nap and had a very real dream during it. It is really very exciting what life with more attention has to offer. :cheer:
 
I know Eiriu Eolas of course, but I admit I can do more in that direction. The other day I practised it before a nap and had a very real dream during it.
Eiriu-Eolas opens psychically. I have practiced this way often. I am not able to prove it, but sometimes I had all the energy in my body still in my "bowels", to psychically open myself to various states and dreams, if I allowed myself to do so. I can't be 100% sure, but it seems that you take steps in the right direction. Very often I have had an active dream after practicing Eiriu Eolas. That might be a good sign.
 
I practiced EE last night and took my crystals with me. I spread them out in front of me and after the warrior breath I put two in each hand. Then continued the meditation and I can't really describe what happened. My hands were practically vibrating and tears were running down my face. I could not appreciate the feeling I had at all. It was as if I had all the feelings in the world at the same time... Connectedness, gratitude, sadness, joy, exhaustion, strength, love, detachment....

While I was lying on the floor for the prayer of the soul, I couldn't move any muscle after a certain point, but my mind was completely clear... It was a very touching state and the tears stopped running in this motionless state, but came back afterwards . It was beautiful.
Eiriu-Eolas opens psychically.
I think I know what you meant now...

Probably your summary helped me a lot too dear @Kay Kim . Because as I read your Thread, I really realized what a gift EE actually is...
And it was exactly this feeling that I practiced it with and got completely involved. I had practiced it many times before, but nothing like this has ever happened.

:grad:I have one more question, maybe someone knows. I could do the BA HA exercise much better if I didn't make my back straight, but changed between round and straight. So when I inhale straight and when I exhale round. Is it possible to do something wrong? Or is it better to practice the complete exercise with a straight back?

This expierience left me speechless... I´m very thankful... :umm:
 
I practiced EE last night and took my crystals with me. I spread them out in front of me and after the warrior breath I put two in each hand. Then continued the meditation and I can't really describe what happened. My hands were practically vibrating and tears were running down my face. I could not appreciate the feeling I had at all. It was as if I had all the feelings in the world at the same time... Connectedness, gratitude, sadness, joy, exhaustion, strength, love, detachment..

WOW wonderful news, Mililea. I am so happy for your achievement!
Perhaps you have cleaned your Karmic Debt or Traumas.
I also noticed that when I do the EE or meditation, my whole body is vibrating. That’s why I do EE and meditation every day. Haha, it also heals my body too.

And few years ago, I also found myself crying after EE and singing the “Prayer of the Soul“ the melody I made for myself to sing, then I was bewildered by myself crying, and at the time I tried to think what was the reason, but I found the answer some times later.
And all these times I always do EE in my bed lay down, it relax me, maybe because my age.

July 16th 2009

Q: (L) So basically, we can recapitulate by saying that people need to learn to breathe. Breathing can change things in their physiology. And also they need to use the breathing to get themselves into a meditative state, or a state where they can do the bioenergetic breathing, which then helps them to release karmic and current life programs and issues and get a cleansing.....
And then once these people begin to clear out their traumas and their programs and get free of illusions and so forth, that means that they are then better able to use facing reality and thinking with a hammer to connect their chakras. And that, I assume, means connecting to their higher intellectual center and higher emotional center. Of course, you connect the emotional center first and then the intellect comes in also. So, in other words, they become kind of like connected with themselves in the future so to say. Am I on track so far?

A: Yes. But we would like to point that all "souled" individuals are members of a fragmented 6D soul/being. When they begin to connect with their future/higher centers, this implies a natural connecting with the other members of their soul group

.......
(L) Right. Because I mean the human brain, the physiology, the electricity, not just the brain but the body... All your neurons generating electricity and interacting with the field and acting like capacitors... I think it's a very powerful thing. And it's not chaotic.
 
... A white sheet... what is there to write on it. Months have passed, full of thoughts, full of knowledge. Knowledge needs to be learned. Is it the right way? My heart says yes. Just don't fall asleep again. Sometimes knowledge is a burden, it would be easier without .... But would it really? Never! It is an honour to have received this knowledge.
The right way is what is right for you if it makes you a better person, I think. And if you can confirm that in your life, if it makes sense when you are not attached to any definite outcome or conclusion.

But from whom did I receive it? From myself in the future? What will I think about myself in the future?

Does it matter? I think it's probably a mixture, and that as long as you have an honest intent, in the future you will also have a mixture. You'll laugh at your own naivete of today, you'll be proud of your commitment, you'll decide to do some things better and continue others, etc.

Is perhaps my time not yet right now? The time when my help is needed, when I can apply my knowledge?

For that, it's never too early I think. Knowledge applied is knowledge gained. And even if you help one or two people, that's a good mission to have, and you can start now.

Do I already have enough knowledge?

Probably not, but who does? At least it's better to recognize that we know so little rather than imagine that we know it all.

And the biggest fear is if I have the right knowledge. Because as I have learned, wrong knowledge is even worse than none at all. There are so many pitfalls...

Yes. Only life can show you, and keeping a curious mind, always questioning what you know, how you see yourself, etc. Then, you filter out a bit of the garbage, and gather some more of the good stuff.

Anyway, just some thoughts to add to your thoughts, FWIW!
 
:grad:I have one more question, maybe someone knows. I could do the BA HA exercise much better if I didn't make my back straight, but changed between round and straight. So when I inhale straight and when I exhale round. Is it possible to do something wrong? Or is it better to practice the complete exercise with a straight back?

What you describe makes me think of one of the stretching exercises that are recommended before the practice, you can see it here (the video will start at the point where they're showing the exercises):


It really helps to do those exercises before the breathing exercises so I don't think that what you are going is wrong, but you could be forcing your breathing a bit, and the idea is to do it rather gently. Maybe you can do that particular exercise before the breathing program and then do the complete program lying down, so that you have some support for your back and you can relax more. Some people find it more comfortable to bend the knees a bit when lying down, as it helps support the lower back better, like in this picture.
 
I'm writing a little update again. :-[ Something is happening to me lately. And I think it's good.

After participating in the joint EE last Monday, I felt more connected than ever. And it happened for the first time that I didn't have to think about breathing. It was like driving a car. I was soooooo excited before the first video meeting with the participants that I just stammered. Then when Laura's audio started playing, I relaxed more and more and it was a little bit like she was telling me a good night story. After that I was completely relaxed and actually dared to sing. Although I often find it much easier to sing in front of people than to speak in front of them, and in English at that. But I think they understood me. :lol:

In the last few weeks I have been reading a lot of material and of course daily in the forum. After the last session I felt a bit worried for the first time, but at the same time excited in a positive sense. This came to a bit of a head with the 06 January excitement and I imposed on myself to read my Mac Kenzie series and it actually helped. I read through the second book in two days. And I felt much better. At the same time, I recognised myself a bit in Mac and was independently advised by my naturopath today that you can see in my blood levels that I can work on showing myself more REAL. So like Mac, bare my soul. This totally floored me because it was exactly what was going through my head when I read it. I'm generally a very open and communicative person, but apparently there are still things to tease out.
I think EE can help me a lot with that, because I think if then I have it very well locked up deep inside me.

Today I also had my last amalgam filling removed and am now looking forward to the heavy metal elimination. :headbanger:

I'm finally managing to take care of myself seriously, I haven't been able to do that very well most of the time because I've only been taking care of everyone else. But step by step I can feel myself again and I have the feeling that I am on the right path.

My big highlight was then finding the great card from Fellowship in my letterbox. My heart leapt. Many, many thanks for that
I think it could be a good sign.... right? :rolleyes:
 
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