I thought it was going to be on "how to" have level conversations with people lol
Tips on how to deal with general conversations. I need some :)
I needed some in general since I came from a narcissitic/neglectful family where children cater to the needs of the adults. Plus trying to awaken, feels like I signed up for an advance life course (universe-ity).
Are there any phrases you use to politely let them know you are not interested? or other tips?
Its sad and funny at the same time, I had to learn by myself with Sims (video game) & Gentle art of verbal self defense communicating with kids (book). To get a general idea of how verbal networks work. "Language is traffic" metaphor was a great way to learn. (pg 17 - 22 you can read it now on amazon search in book "traffic metaphor")
Are there others like me that had to learn by themselves? are there any other books on conversations and networking you suggest?
[quote author=Bud]
Yes, it is sad indeed. When a person's awareness starts to expand, it can feel very lonely and very scary to see people like this and to have no one to talk to on your own level.[/quote]
That's how I feel. Luke thinks 80%; well to me, here in gatorville its 99%
generalizing gatorville people- me):
1. religious extreme -been there done that, made me feel personally responsible for entire world (have to stop myself from supposably saving people & try to keep my mouth shut)
2. indifferent but give lipservice to religious extreme - have to catch myself going back to sterotypes and defering to males (by acting stupid)
3.love light people - alot more here than anyone would think. I let myself get frustrated with them the most. Like mom's Hermetic group people all over fl came for impromptu meeting at lake house, leader looked at us to start one here in gatorville. I was in "I think I'm going crazy phase" and all the love/light crap trying to calm me down was making me even more furious. I somewhat regret not taking that opportunity but as I think of it I'm glad I didn't because group seem it was "gaining knowledge for knowledge sake"
yes it feels very lonely. Tune of voice and auditory is so much different than typing. Typing depending on your mood, judgement of person or so many other variables, may get confused or misunderstood. Especially for me who writes as such in fragmented ideas and way too much writing. (even after triple editing and deleting)
[quote author=opossum]
I went mad when this happened but I am recovering and still feel very lonely and often frustrated. I've seen a couple of people go mad and then slowly return to "life" (in the work sense) and become sheeple again, sad.[/quote]
It happens to
even the ones we think are strong. My brother asked sincerely, numerous times to the point of annoyance. I gave in, he read over 10+ books, except I know he cheated with pot. He was afraid but just on the verge of acceptence and then low end of family came (system in attack mode) he reverted to patriarchal idiot, got depressed and craziest of all joined the army. :: crying
, I never thought about it till now, "oldest daughter program" is telling me is all my fault. Self-calming repress mode on ::
Sometimes you find people who
just don't care. One of my high school friends (now just co-leader/acquaintance, she thinks we are still friends) told me. "you are here [showing hand over her head] and I'm here [showing hand over her stomach]. "I don't mind being here and I don't care about growing. I'm fine where I'm at, stop giving me feedback I don't want it" we had a previous agreement that we would let each other know how we could improve our behavior and vocabulary from "gentle art of verbal self defense communicating with kids" book.
[quote author=oxajil]
When we've lost being in touch with our emotions and being, it's difficult to truly connect with each other (feel/think/do 'deeper') on most levels, so usually, this (talking about TV shows) could be just one of the ways with which we try to interact with each other in some way.[/quote]
like stellaria, I too can't hold off from showing my boredom anymore over tv shows, sports, politics, etc... hehe I take their subject line merge it to what we are feeling, reviewing or reflecting on personal current situations or behaviors = total shutdown (They run away to another room, space out, or give me the most dirtiest look)
sample
spoiler alert: minority report when john knowing that he was setup, just finish looking at the fake digitally altered photos of his son with fake kidnapping guy (who made a deal to get killed for family to live off money given for dying). I asked what would they have done in situation, would they have calmly taken in information and then make judgment on the situation or just let their feelings take over and shoot the fake guy?
reminded me of putting the "fire/emotion" in the "train/mind&logic" vs. putting "train" in the "fire" someone said that in forum/Cass content somewhere?
[quote author=Psalehesost]
As always, people cannot relate to having grown out of something unless they've done it themselves.[/quote]
I have to keep reminding myself of that. Forgive myself for believing the BS that J-Ws, Evangelicals, Bahai, Scient, lots of fluffly love light groups. yay just remembered would like to finish writing out what I learned from each group to help with letting go.
[quote author=Psalehesost]
So if anyone here knows a (at present) bitter, misanthropic nihilist - who still has some manner of higher ideal that they don't find in the world, causing bitterness - they might be much more open than most to discussing and considering the "weird" and unexpected, and they might also have something interesting to say.
Though it all depends on their nature and how messed up they've managed to become.[/quote]
Thanks, I'll be on the look out for those people.
Now add over-analyzing everything and that's what most people may think of me. Most of my remaining friends say that I'm critical. I reply "I just want to know if you see the same thing I saw, or heard the same thing and how we can improve the outcomes if a similar situation happens again"
Some friends have talked more and come to know that is not humanity that I hate its their current behavior. Also that "all humans are born pure" (except for 6% are born psychopathic) if they are xtians I say "I believe like the Jews that all human souls are pure at birth"
messing with them...
[quote author=perceval]
you can reasonably conclude that that is something different about the way you see the world and the way those particular people see the world.[/quote]
[quote author=Stuart "talking about time" movie Kate&Leapold]I'm that dog who saw a rainbow, only none of the other dogs believed me.
revised: ;D
We are dogs who see rainbows, only none of the other dogs believed us. (lol overly simplified but helps on some days and that the other dogs when they are ready will get the chance to see rainbows too!)[/quote]
Since I'm a non-feeling or an emotional wreck phase:
how I usually handle these conversations
1. Try to avoid situations (yep hermit crab) until is necessary not to seem anti-social.
2. keep mouth shut and when it is your turn to talk- pass it. Is better for them think you are a snob or an idiot vs crazy or get them angry/emotional.
3. Or try to find something in subject to refer current situation or ask question back. "what did you think about (be specific)?"
4. there is going to come a time where you will have give your opinion they are going to insist out of beign polite (even if they don't want to know it). Try to be honest; polite, not nice. Its ok even if you said something profound they will forget or later on they'll say it back to you like if it was their idea lol
How do other forum members handle these conversation? Do you try to avoid them? Switch the subject to diet (easier topic discuss and for them to argue)?
Thanks
