Hello!
First of all, I don't know if this is the proper section to post this. I didn't think it belonged to The Swamp though I do ask for feedback and mirroring... If it is not the right place, please change it to where it belongs.
There's something I've been thinking about lately...
I've been wanting to create a sustainable place in the country side for a long time.
The story goes like this:
I arrived from Europe (Backpacker trip, alone, you can read about one part of it here: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,18079.msg214698.html#msg214698) having realized how much we are poisoned and that there are other ways of organizing and being more independent (because I worked at farms during the trip). When I arrived, the first thing that happens is that someone sends me an invitation to participate in Permaculture Design Course... just like that... I didn't have an idea of what permaculture was, but I went, and I learned too many interesting things and got out of it completely motivated into researching more about the subject. I became passionate about it because it meant independence. (actually before traveling we were thinking of creating a community with some friends with a research place so we could live and research about everything together... but this was more like a teenager's dream than a possiblereality at the moment... LOL) Also, when I was studying psychology I dreamt of a place to do 'workshops' that could help people to get in touch with themselves and maybe inspire the wish for self-knowledge and things like that... lol
Before my trip, I was desperated, in part because of my own problems (I was depressed), an also knowing the situation in the world and findind that there was no possible way of acting that could liberate us a little bit. I had realized that we are indeed all messed up and that all this'groups' that are 'fighting the system' did not seem to really understand how deeply we are messed up. So when I knew this world of 'sustainability, permaculture, independence...' I thought that these actions where somehow positive responses to the crisis we're in... Of course, NOT solutions, the DO NOT go to the roots of the issue (Psychopathy), but I thought they could help in creating places that could be 'models' of how to live in harmony with nature and with ourselves, in cooperation, dignity, as healthy human beings.
I always liked to be independent, to be able to do things by my self and one thing that bothered me was/is to be dependent on a psychopathic system like the one spread through the world... So I was really interested in all this area of 'HOW TO LIVE' being as independent of this system as possible: things like bio-construction, gardening, growing animals, alternative energy, etc. And I had also the aim of self-development and The Work already, but I thought that I could not work properly in this if I couldn't sustain myself 'physically' first.
So... I wanted to create this place and by 'chance', I happened to be given a 'gift' of a 1ha piece of land in a place that must be one of the 'cleanest' places remaining in my country (in terms of pesticides, GMOs, etc.)
I started a project over there... but I started it without enough knowledge and too much wishful thinking... So it failed. I realized I wasn't ready for it so I decided to leave it for some other time in the future. First I had to be able to sustain myself economically, and be able to save some money and use it for the first months/years until I could really sustain myself from my own farm.
Two years passed... And here I am. I have a great work now at an environmentalist NGO, I teach English to children at an English institution and, if I want to make some more money I can teach at one of these 'bilingual schools' that pay very well for a halftime job. So, I don't depend on my parents anymore and, during this time of working in many different stuff, I realize that I don't have to worry about that because it seem that with the right attitude we can do almost anything if we are able to identify opportunities and take them...
But that idea of a sustainable farm and the piece of land the universe has given me are still there wainting for me... And lately I've been thinking that I should start a project there once again... This time with some more knowledge, experience and intelligence (in terms of designing a realistic strategy)
Added to my own interest, I read this SOTT Focus article: (http://www.sott.net/article/255055-Microholding-down-sizing-a-dream) and it inspired me even more.
In the article Eleanor says:
Perhaps, if you find what I have written resonates with you, you might like to try this little exercise:
1. Identify your strengths: try to avoid being overly modest or pretentious if you can. Some areas might be potentials so note them down too.
First problem... I never had an 'specialty of my own'. People call me 'multiusos', which means something like 'that can be used in multiple things'. At work, I do plenty of different stuff, from designing, to translating, photography, video production, project planning, communication, etc.... I know I'm good at languages and I had also worked as a dance teacher before. Basically, during this last months I have been taking whatever work I've been offered and realized that I could do them... So... I don't really know what my specialty would be, yet I know when I can't do something or when I don't want to do something. Maybe the only thing I know I'm very good at is languages, dancing and photography & design (being the first what I'm better at and the last still in development) so these could be my 'strengths'.
2. Identify the things that you love and that make you feel alive.
Since I was a child the 'nature' made me feel alive. I spent hours on trees just watching the leaves and birds and ants and all sorts of insects... thinking how beautiful they were...
. My family used to say that whenever we went to the countryside my aspect changed, as if I reflected my joy of being sourounded by the forest... LEARNING is also something that I love and makes me feel alive, doing The Work, discovering myself and reality, working on something that helps in bringing conscience to others (helping Sott and Cass), etc.
I also enjoy teaching languages, dancing and working with photography and design but I see that more as something that I've learned through time, and the former as something that I 'came with' from the womb... lol
So I was thinking a lot about the essence and personality, and thinking that maybe my essence is happier when I'm in a natural environment. But this is where I need feedback because I don't want to be fooling myself with wishful thinking and the wrong perspective...
3. Redefine your priorities in light of the above. Hopefully, there will be an overlap between what you love and your strengths, so that no matter how intensive they are, they'll be effortless for you because you'll enjoy every minute.
Another problem... What I love and my 'strengths' don't seem to overlap.
I mean... I can start this little project with a very small plan of growing some chicken just to begin with, and continue to work in the city focusing on developing something like a freelance studio for photography and design. I could also work as a translator for different languages (something that I can do from home no matter where my home is), and I can still work teaching English and even open an institute in the small town where the little land is, in the future. This are all thing that are possible and I have all the resources to do them, I just need to establish aims and move towards them.
But I fear that I'm forcing things because I have this 'dream of living in the country side', and I don't want to do things just because I wish to do them. The most important thing to me now is The Work (and I mean it...) Sometime ago I realized that I had no ambitions for my life... I am not saying this as a GOOD or BAD thing. I'm just saying how it was... I felt that the life as it is presented to us was of no interest to me... I wasn't interested in a career, I wasn't interested in money (both things only as a useful tool to LIVE, but no more than that), I wasn't even interested in having a partner and a family of my own (children...) I realized that what I wanted was to fully take a path of self-knowledge and spirituality (more as an inner need to get free) all this while living in this world because I knew that it was through this world that I had to learn and develop myself (and also because I wanted/ want to help others in this world)... My friends and some members of my family thought that I was depressed and wouldn't admit it, or that I would become crazy, or that I would have to 'face reality some day'... But I wasn't depressed, I was happy to know what I wanted the most, and after some time when I came across this forum, The Wave, ISOTM and The Secret History of the World, I felt that it resonated SO MUCH with what I had been thinking and I started to see that I was not the only one to feel like this and started to see what could I do to move towards this aim, through knowledge. What DID worried me, though, was that I SHOULD be able of sustaining myself in terms of physical needs (food, water, house, etc.) and do it in the healthiest way possible so that I could REALLY move on this path. So, creating a little sustainable farm was a very good idea in my logic.
I also want to be useful, useful to YOU and to the 'universe' so to say... even though I know the 'universe' doesn't care about what I chose to do...
I mean that I want to do what needs to be done and not just follow a dream obstinately like a child. So in these aspect I also need some feedback. Be it 'harsh' or not...
4. Start thinking of small, sensible ways to make what you want happen. It might take you a month, a year or a decade but you'll be moving in the right direction.
Well... I have already a very good idea of how to begin with. With very small aims that are steps to the BIG one. Nevertheless, as you can see, I need to clarify some things before I start... So this is why I share this with you hoping that your feedback might give me an objective view of what I'm thinking here.
Last year I posted this: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,28110.0.html
I didn't mention this idea of creating a sustainable place there because it was a moment when I had decided that I would first focus in doing something with what I already had and from where I was living already... and try no to depend so much on my family support.
As you can read there. I have a great job now which I enjoy doing and I'm OK in terms of money. I don not get any money from my family now and I even have some extra money which I'm saving.
I, somehow, realized how to apply The Work in 'normal life' and I stopped doing most of the things that I call 'useless' in terms of spending energy on them and what they bring in the way of growing and learning. Of course, there's always a lot to work on yet... I don't want you to think that I am pretending to be complete... NO! I know there is a lot of work and I'm happy for that... :D
Having said all this... I'm just needing some feedback. And I'm sorry to be asking for it so much. I believe that I'll be also helping others with feedback in time... when I'm ready. I think I'm still a Newbie here! ;)
Thanks a lot in advance!
First of all, I don't know if this is the proper section to post this. I didn't think it belonged to The Swamp though I do ask for feedback and mirroring... If it is not the right place, please change it to where it belongs.
There's something I've been thinking about lately...
I've been wanting to create a sustainable place in the country side for a long time.
The story goes like this:
I arrived from Europe (Backpacker trip, alone, you can read about one part of it here: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,18079.msg214698.html#msg214698) having realized how much we are poisoned and that there are other ways of organizing and being more independent (because I worked at farms during the trip). When I arrived, the first thing that happens is that someone sends me an invitation to participate in Permaculture Design Course... just like that... I didn't have an idea of what permaculture was, but I went, and I learned too many interesting things and got out of it completely motivated into researching more about the subject. I became passionate about it because it meant independence. (actually before traveling we were thinking of creating a community with some friends with a research place so we could live and research about everything together... but this was more like a teenager's dream than a possiblereality at the moment... LOL) Also, when I was studying psychology I dreamt of a place to do 'workshops' that could help people to get in touch with themselves and maybe inspire the wish for self-knowledge and things like that... lol
Before my trip, I was desperated, in part because of my own problems (I was depressed), an also knowing the situation in the world and findind that there was no possible way of acting that could liberate us a little bit. I had realized that we are indeed all messed up and that all this'groups' that are 'fighting the system' did not seem to really understand how deeply we are messed up. So when I knew this world of 'sustainability, permaculture, independence...' I thought that these actions where somehow positive responses to the crisis we're in... Of course, NOT solutions, the DO NOT go to the roots of the issue (Psychopathy), but I thought they could help in creating places that could be 'models' of how to live in harmony with nature and with ourselves, in cooperation, dignity, as healthy human beings.
I always liked to be independent, to be able to do things by my self and one thing that bothered me was/is to be dependent on a psychopathic system like the one spread through the world... So I was really interested in all this area of 'HOW TO LIVE' being as independent of this system as possible: things like bio-construction, gardening, growing animals, alternative energy, etc. And I had also the aim of self-development and The Work already, but I thought that I could not work properly in this if I couldn't sustain myself 'physically' first.
So... I wanted to create this place and by 'chance', I happened to be given a 'gift' of a 1ha piece of land in a place that must be one of the 'cleanest' places remaining in my country (in terms of pesticides, GMOs, etc.)
I started a project over there... but I started it without enough knowledge and too much wishful thinking... So it failed. I realized I wasn't ready for it so I decided to leave it for some other time in the future. First I had to be able to sustain myself economically, and be able to save some money and use it for the first months/years until I could really sustain myself from my own farm.
Two years passed... And here I am. I have a great work now at an environmentalist NGO, I teach English to children at an English institution and, if I want to make some more money I can teach at one of these 'bilingual schools' that pay very well for a halftime job. So, I don't depend on my parents anymore and, during this time of working in many different stuff, I realize that I don't have to worry about that because it seem that with the right attitude we can do almost anything if we are able to identify opportunities and take them...
But that idea of a sustainable farm and the piece of land the universe has given me are still there wainting for me... And lately I've been thinking that I should start a project there once again... This time with some more knowledge, experience and intelligence (in terms of designing a realistic strategy)
Added to my own interest, I read this SOTT Focus article: (http://www.sott.net/article/255055-Microholding-down-sizing-a-dream) and it inspired me even more.
In the article Eleanor says:
Perhaps, if you find what I have written resonates with you, you might like to try this little exercise:
1. Identify your strengths: try to avoid being overly modest or pretentious if you can. Some areas might be potentials so note them down too.
First problem... I never had an 'specialty of my own'. People call me 'multiusos', which means something like 'that can be used in multiple things'. At work, I do plenty of different stuff, from designing, to translating, photography, video production, project planning, communication, etc.... I know I'm good at languages and I had also worked as a dance teacher before. Basically, during this last months I have been taking whatever work I've been offered and realized that I could do them... So... I don't really know what my specialty would be, yet I know when I can't do something or when I don't want to do something. Maybe the only thing I know I'm very good at is languages, dancing and photography & design (being the first what I'm better at and the last still in development) so these could be my 'strengths'.
2. Identify the things that you love and that make you feel alive.
Since I was a child the 'nature' made me feel alive. I spent hours on trees just watching the leaves and birds and ants and all sorts of insects... thinking how beautiful they were...
. My family used to say that whenever we went to the countryside my aspect changed, as if I reflected my joy of being sourounded by the forest... LEARNING is also something that I love and makes me feel alive, doing The Work, discovering myself and reality, working on something that helps in bringing conscience to others (helping Sott and Cass), etc.I also enjoy teaching languages, dancing and working with photography and design but I see that more as something that I've learned through time, and the former as something that I 'came with' from the womb... lol
So I was thinking a lot about the essence and personality, and thinking that maybe my essence is happier when I'm in a natural environment. But this is where I need feedback because I don't want to be fooling myself with wishful thinking and the wrong perspective...
3. Redefine your priorities in light of the above. Hopefully, there will be an overlap between what you love and your strengths, so that no matter how intensive they are, they'll be effortless for you because you'll enjoy every minute.
Another problem... What I love and my 'strengths' don't seem to overlap.
I mean... I can start this little project with a very small plan of growing some chicken just to begin with, and continue to work in the city focusing on developing something like a freelance studio for photography and design. I could also work as a translator for different languages (something that I can do from home no matter where my home is), and I can still work teaching English and even open an institute in the small town where the little land is, in the future. This are all thing that are possible and I have all the resources to do them, I just need to establish aims and move towards them.
But I fear that I'm forcing things because I have this 'dream of living in the country side', and I don't want to do things just because I wish to do them. The most important thing to me now is The Work (and I mean it...) Sometime ago I realized that I had no ambitions for my life... I am not saying this as a GOOD or BAD thing. I'm just saying how it was... I felt that the life as it is presented to us was of no interest to me... I wasn't interested in a career, I wasn't interested in money (both things only as a useful tool to LIVE, but no more than that), I wasn't even interested in having a partner and a family of my own (children...) I realized that what I wanted was to fully take a path of self-knowledge and spirituality (more as an inner need to get free) all this while living in this world because I knew that it was through this world that I had to learn and develop myself (and also because I wanted/ want to help others in this world)... My friends and some members of my family thought that I was depressed and wouldn't admit it, or that I would become crazy, or that I would have to 'face reality some day'... But I wasn't depressed, I was happy to know what I wanted the most, and after some time when I came across this forum, The Wave, ISOTM and The Secret History of the World, I felt that it resonated SO MUCH with what I had been thinking and I started to see that I was not the only one to feel like this and started to see what could I do to move towards this aim, through knowledge. What DID worried me, though, was that I SHOULD be able of sustaining myself in terms of physical needs (food, water, house, etc.) and do it in the healthiest way possible so that I could REALLY move on this path. So, creating a little sustainable farm was a very good idea in my logic.
I also want to be useful, useful to YOU and to the 'universe' so to say... even though I know the 'universe' doesn't care about what I chose to do...
I mean that I want to do what needs to be done and not just follow a dream obstinately like a child. So in these aspect I also need some feedback. Be it 'harsh' or not... 4. Start thinking of small, sensible ways to make what you want happen. It might take you a month, a year or a decade but you'll be moving in the right direction.
Well... I have already a very good idea of how to begin with. With very small aims that are steps to the BIG one. Nevertheless, as you can see, I need to clarify some things before I start... So this is why I share this with you hoping that your feedback might give me an objective view of what I'm thinking here.
Last year I posted this: http://cassiopaea.org/forum/index.php/topic,28110.0.html
I didn't mention this idea of creating a sustainable place there because it was a moment when I had decided that I would first focus in doing something with what I already had and from where I was living already... and try no to depend so much on my family support.
As you can read there. I have a great job now which I enjoy doing and I'm OK in terms of money. I don not get any money from my family now and I even have some extra money which I'm saving.
I, somehow, realized how to apply The Work in 'normal life' and I stopped doing most of the things that I call 'useless' in terms of spending energy on them and what they bring in the way of growing and learning. Of course, there's always a lot to work on yet... I don't want you to think that I am pretending to be complete... NO! I know there is a lot of work and I'm happy for that... :D
Having said all this... I'm just needing some feedback. And I'm sorry to be asking for it so much. I believe that I'll be also helping others with feedback in time... when I'm ready. I think I'm still a Newbie here! ;)
Thanks a lot in advance!
)
