Minor challenges at home

[Gwenllian]

Both my children are home educated and getting bored. Despite all kinds of suggestions on my part their boredom persists. I have even suggested school.
My eldest child has started watching MTV. I have always allowed them to watch what they wished (and for a long time this turned out to be okay), but I am getting sick of South Park and Family Guy, which they watch day in day out. They also watch loads of so-called science programmes.

They were always free to do with their time as they wished and this also turned out to be fine until last year. My youngest child turned into a computer fan and was behind that machine all day.

Steps I have taken:

I have curtailed the use of the computer and stopped our subscription for satellite tv. They will be able to watch certain things (like South Park) on their computer, but only during their computer time. My youngest child has already said that it won't be worth it. He does read and also likes cooking. So I have asked him to help me out with canning meat. They both like to cook. My eldest child takes care of our computers, has a paperround and also helps out in more ways than one.

We live in a village and they do not get to meet many young people. They are not interested in clubs.

I am not sure what to do. Should I accept their boredom and wait until they have resolved it themselves? Or take action and do something which they will probably not like? I am at a loss at the moment.
Also, things are already changing for them with regard to the diet. So I am not sure whether or not I should rock the boat too much.

Thanks for reading. :)

 

[liffy]

How old are your kids? There comes a point where they have to be able to do what they want.

I don't think South Park is that bad for them, though. It might seem ridiculous at a first glance, but there is plenty criticism of 'established truths' mixed into it. It would be better if they watched it on their computer though, so they won't have to see all the commercials, etc.

You could start suggesting some hobbies for them, such as sports, art, or something else they might be interested in, but you might have already done so?

 

[Mr. Premise]

I thin you are right to cancel satellite TV and to set limits on electronic activity. Also, boredom is healthy for kids. When we got rid of cable my children immediately spent much more time in more active/creative pursuits and ended up not missing it.

[edit:fixed typo]

 

[Gonzo]

Two things happen when kids are bored: either their parent tell them what to do or they attempt to satisfy themselves. The former doesn't help the children develop initiative to solve their own problems. The latter, although it can lead to all sorts of trouble, often results in them exploring their inner and outer worlds. Socialization is important. You mention being in a village. Although they might not be interested in clubs, there may be community choirs, bands, sports, hiking, etc., that they could participate in and meet people. Often kids get ideas for things to do from their peers. The more peers, the more ideas (both for trouble and adventure).

I hesitate in mentioning scouting, due to stories of pedophiles making their way into the ranks of leaders. Depending on the area, the background checks may or may not reveal one's past. I had a great experience and followed scouting all the way through, learning a lot about the environment and wilderness survival, including winter survival.

It truly can seem difficult in a small town. When I was young, we lived in a small farming town (pop. 600). I ended up reading a lot, biking with friends I met, playing in fields, exploring the forests and getting into all sorts of trouble :)

Gonzo

 

[Aneke]

I agree that it was a good decision to get rid of the satellite. I grew up without it, and I've never had it to date. (I'm 24, so not -too- much older than your kids :P ) To be honest, TV bores the hell out of me, so I can't help but wonder if your youngsters were bored anyway, with or without TV.

I also lived in a rural area, and I had what started out as 'chores' and 'responsibilities', but they ended up being activities that I thoroughly enjoyed and participated in out of my own free will. We had a large garden that I tended and became -my- garden-- and a milk cow, and chickens, and beef calves. I really enjoyed working with the animals.

Also, we had neighbors down the road who had a used bookstore. My sister and I used to spend hours there looking through books and chatting. I think one of the best things for me, growing up, was having these adult friends. It helped put life in perspective, and they were also interested in many of the same things as us, and served as mentors when it came to my poetry, writing, and art. I could talk to them about deeper and broader subjects than I could my peers.

One of the best things for my sister was a camera. She would spend hours outside taking pictures. She and I would also go 'look for pictures' together: I would point out what she should take a photo of.

Activities where you can make something: cooking, making jewelry, woodworking, leatherworking, gardening, making birdhouses and feeders, etc. I enjoyed all that as a kid.

Boredom is kind of a starting point. You have to decide whether to be bored, or do something about it. If they're complaining about being bored, you can give suggestions, but ultimately they have to be the ones to decide.

As an aside: I learned quickly not to complain to my parents that I was bored. Their answer would inevitably be "go clean the chicken coop" or "weed the potatoes" or "pack wood".

 

[Gonzo]

I'd like to echo Aneke's comment about the value of children interacting with older adults. I believe a lot of my interests in history as well as my respect and compassion for elders in general came about through my interactions with the aged. However, I have no way of knowing if I was already predisposed to such inclinations, but I certainly felt they enriched my world view, sense of community and helped put things in perspective.

I wonder if urban kids, who have fewer opportunities to meet elders and greater opportunities to limit their interactions to their peers has a detrimental effect.

I also got chores as suggestions to cure my boredom and believe children require chores to understand the need for collective responsibility.

Gonzo

 

[Gwenllian]

Thank you all for your replies!

It feels so good to talk about this. So much is changing in my life, because of this forum and its booklist. I have started to reconsider my parenting style. And now that my children are getting older (they are 12 and 15 yo) it seems it is getting more and more important to guide them.
There is so much garbage out there and they have seen plenty of it. They have watched South Park for years, as they have always been able to choose whatever they wished to do. But IMO it becomes unhealthy when they watch this junk every night!

Also, I think, with home education they might have some head start? There is no peer or teacher or system pressure, which makes them stronger perhaps? I do not wish to waste their brain power, which is the reason I will not allow MTV and more into our home anymore. It is also my living room and my youngest child doesn't like it either.

Iffy, South Park does raise some issues, but they never quite make the point, OSIT. My son told me about the latest episode and the OWS movement. Instead of depicting the police as a violent mob they depict them as a bunch of stupid people. That is missing the point.

Mr Premise, good to know that your kids actually used their boredom to their advantage. I already see changes in mine, now that the lights go out before ten. I have started reading aloud again to my youngest and my eldest has taken up reading books again. :)

Gonzo, I loved scouting when I was young. So, I introduced them to scouting, but they did not want to pursue it. As I was thinking of becoming a volunteer there I joined them one Saturday morning. Children were made to pledge allegiance to the Dutch flag and had to kneel before their scout leaders. I couldn't believe my eyes! Also, there was some coldness and indifference about the place.

I am part of some cultural committee in my village, which means that I can involve my kids and my eldest quite likes it, getting involved.
That sounds good, Gonzo, the way you grew up.

Aneke, I think the camera is a great idea! It might even tempt my youngest to go out and take pictures.
And I would love to have pigs! We already have chickens which they take care of, but some pigs to take care of would even be better.

I agree, boredom is a starting point. They are going through a phase they have to conquer themselves. They used to play with Lego for days and days and that time is gone.

I will involve them more in activities. I also wish to make my own salves and creams, which might also be enjoyable for them.

Aneke and Gonzo, from what I understand homeschooled kids often interact with (older) adults.
What a great experience that must have been for you, Aneke, these neighbours and their bookshop.

I wonder if urban kids, who have fewer opportunities to meet elders and greater opportunities to limit their interactions to their peers has a detrimental effect.

I would think so. We all need some significant interaction and kind and caring elders have never been more important. OSIT.