I need advice for this subject because I really don't know what to do.
My two neighbors, mother and daughter, are in the hospital. The mother is in the emergency section because she was spitting blood and the daughter because she broke her leg one day after her mother was interned.
These two women are very strange and I don't like them. I see that they are like two Siamese sisters, they do everything together, ALWAYS and they are also a sort of vampires. They drain your energy. It took me some months to learn about it and I had to cut the intimacy, specially with the daughter that was coming at home almost 5 times a day smoking her cigarettes because she was afraid to smoke in front of her mother. So she told me. But in fact this was not true. The daughter is a liar and she lied to me to manipulate my sentiments. With time I saw how liar she was, inventing how a victim she was of her mother and all her familly! But it was invented stories that she told just make me feel sorry for her. And she is 60 years old. To cut my relation with her was very difficult because I thought more of her then of me. But finally I was incapable to continue to see her, I was really feeling drained, tired, and manipulated. After reading a chapter of one of the books of Laura I understood that we feel sorry for that sort of people but it is necessary to cut the relation, and in fact the other person don't care at all. So I stopped my relation , asking her not to come anymore at home and I saw that she didn't care at all not to come anymore at home, and she started to smoke in front of her mother.
Now I continue to be in good terms with mother and daughter because they are my neighbors and it is important to be in good terms with your neighbors, in peace. So once in a while I go to take a coffee with them, and listen. They are the sort of people that see nobody. The daughter is like a little girl of 13 years, is incapable to live alone, maybe because her mother is a big controller, maybe because she is too lazy to fight for her life and her independence. In fact I think she was a spoiled kid and that's maybe she have psychological problems and her parents wanted to protect her. The fact is that I don't like to be with them, they are superficial, void. They just talk about what they have seen on tv. At the beginning I wanted to inform them a little about diet but they are incapable to listen. So I stop to talk, when with them.
So Monday the mother was, so another neighbor told me, sick spitting a little blood. They called the ambulance. And Tuesday the daughter broke her leg, needs to be operated. They are in the same hospital. One son is coming from Madrid today.
I feel very bad not wanting to see them, and I don't like to feel this emotion, it is like to see in me a very hard heart, my cold side, an egoistical and narcissistic side because I don't want to see these two women that drain energy. And I am afraid to be again manipulated. Is this a problem of control, from my part? But at the same time I know how alone they surely feel, but this is just an impression. In fact I know also that they are incapable to communicate, to have friends, to need friendship because is as they were living in a loop, just them together and that's all.
Do I have to go to visit them at the hospital? I am afraid that they will need me and this scares me very much. So this is my dilemma. I love to help people in need but that sort of people makes me anxious because I know how manipulative they are.
What do you think is the best way to deal with this situation? Should I keep my distance? Did you ever encounter this kind of situation?
Thanks for listening!
My two neighbors, mother and daughter, are in the hospital. The mother is in the emergency section because she was spitting blood and the daughter because she broke her leg one day after her mother was interned.
These two women are very strange and I don't like them. I see that they are like two Siamese sisters, they do everything together, ALWAYS and they are also a sort of vampires. They drain your energy. It took me some months to learn about it and I had to cut the intimacy, specially with the daughter that was coming at home almost 5 times a day smoking her cigarettes because she was afraid to smoke in front of her mother. So she told me. But in fact this was not true. The daughter is a liar and she lied to me to manipulate my sentiments. With time I saw how liar she was, inventing how a victim she was of her mother and all her familly! But it was invented stories that she told just make me feel sorry for her. And she is 60 years old. To cut my relation with her was very difficult because I thought more of her then of me. But finally I was incapable to continue to see her, I was really feeling drained, tired, and manipulated. After reading a chapter of one of the books of Laura I understood that we feel sorry for that sort of people but it is necessary to cut the relation, and in fact the other person don't care at all. So I stopped my relation , asking her not to come anymore at home and I saw that she didn't care at all not to come anymore at home, and she started to smoke in front of her mother.
Now I continue to be in good terms with mother and daughter because they are my neighbors and it is important to be in good terms with your neighbors, in peace. So once in a while I go to take a coffee with them, and listen. They are the sort of people that see nobody. The daughter is like a little girl of 13 years, is incapable to live alone, maybe because her mother is a big controller, maybe because she is too lazy to fight for her life and her independence. In fact I think she was a spoiled kid and that's maybe she have psychological problems and her parents wanted to protect her. The fact is that I don't like to be with them, they are superficial, void. They just talk about what they have seen on tv. At the beginning I wanted to inform them a little about diet but they are incapable to listen. So I stop to talk, when with them.
So Monday the mother was, so another neighbor told me, sick spitting a little blood. They called the ambulance. And Tuesday the daughter broke her leg, needs to be operated. They are in the same hospital. One son is coming from Madrid today.
I feel very bad not wanting to see them, and I don't like to feel this emotion, it is like to see in me a very hard heart, my cold side, an egoistical and narcissistic side because I don't want to see these two women that drain energy. And I am afraid to be again manipulated. Is this a problem of control, from my part? But at the same time I know how alone they surely feel, but this is just an impression. In fact I know also that they are incapable to communicate, to have friends, to need friendship because is as they were living in a loop, just them together and that's all.
Do I have to go to visit them at the hospital? I am afraid that they will need me and this scares me very much. So this is my dilemma. I love to help people in need but that sort of people makes me anxious because I know how manipulative they are.
What do you think is the best way to deal with this situation? Should I keep my distance? Did you ever encounter this kind of situation?
Thanks for listening!
