Maia
Jedi
Here in America almost 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In 80% of custody hearings the mother gets major custody of the child(ren).
Many children are raised by their mothers and never allowed or encouraged to get to know their father or his family.
Men are painted as brutish and savage.
Not all men are, in fact, like most animal species, the female is turning out to be more deadlier than the male.
How do I know this?
I am the paternal grandmother of Alexis and have gone through eight years of constantly trying to be allowed to see my own grand daughter.
Eleven years ago, my son brought over a very young and physically beautiful lady. She was 5', 110 pounds (soaking wet with a towel), long thick beautiful blonde hair, big brown eyes and well, by any man's standards, a real "beauty".
Michael, pulled me aside and said, "Well mom, what do you think, isn't she gorgeous!" (He did not express this sentiment as a question).
I replied, "Michael, looks are only skin deep. She has already bragged to us how she has stolen a cassett player from her own brother, how deeply she hates her family, they have drug problems (her brother is now currently dying of long term meth use) and comes from a very deeply disturbed family background."
My son replied, "Oh but I looooooooooooove her. She wants to be like us a normal family, you know, married, with kids and a house - the whole works, that's what she wants, and I'm going to give it to her."
We are not rich. My husband and I of 38 years have struggled our whole life, working very hard, scrimping and saving "for our three sons".
Our entire life has revolved around our three sons and their welfare and happiness. My husband was and continues to be a exceptional father, that is why I married him.
My son that first night then asked me if she could spend the night, she had a horrible fight with her father and couldn't go back home.
I replied, "I don't think that would be a good idea, we hardly know this young lady."
The subject was than dropped.
Fast forward to around midnight, they were still downstairs talking. I reminded Michael that Stacy was not to remain overnight under our roof as they were not married and this was ten years ago, our home, our rules. He agreed. We did offer Stacy money if she needed to check into a motel for a day or two. I thought that most generous. We also offered to "get to know her better, maybe meet her for lunch or such, she declined.
Fast forward to three AM. We have one upstairs bath, all three bedrooms share. The bedroom to the right of the master bedroom is my office and library where my computer is located at.
Anyway, it is three AM, I wake up to go to the bathroom which is to the left of our (husband & I) bedroom. I remember distinctly turning off our office/library's light, but there it was on and who is sitting at my desk, in front of my computer but Stacy.
Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but if you should invite me over for dinner, I would come, be on time, bring something nice and leave at the appropriate time. I would not invite myself to camp out in your home or stay past "the welcome period."
Also, I would, if invited into your home, no more think of touching your computer no more than taking your car for a spin without your expressed approval.
I was livid, my computer is my private property. My husband has his own computer, and I don't even go into his without asking first, for us this is JUST NOT DONE! It is a breech of polite and considerate conduct.
I than went in and woke up my husband and he said he would "handle this touchy situation". I did not want to be accused of fouling up our son's "happiness" or come off as the pushy mother in law to be. Personally I wanted to go in there and yank the little princess out of my chair and kick her skinny little butt out of my home.
Well she left, not happy I am sure.
In trying to reason with my son, I told him, you're not thinking with the head on your shoulders, her sweet smile changed once she wasn't allowed to run all over us Mike, somethings not right. I'm not the most socially smooth or adept person by a long shot and even I know that one never touches another's computer like one would never think of driving off with someone else's car. She simply had no respect for the property of another. I repeat I had a really bad feeling about this young lady from the get go.
Flash forward a few months later, we had treated the little princess out to dinner several times, taking her to the restaurant of her choice for her birthday, inviting her over and including her in our nice Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, I honestly treated her very nice.
Every step of the way I could see she was a taker, everything had to revolve around what she wanted and she had no conception of being "nice" or playing "fair". She was a person without rules or restrictions as far as when she saw something, she would grab it regardless of who she hurt or ran over.
One night they sat my husband and I down on the couch and announced she was with child and were looking to get married within about six months, she was already two months along.
She was living with her father who was now really mad at her as he wanted her to have a second abortion (first was pre Michael). She refused this time.
Why?
She saw that:
My son had a good payroll job.
My husband had (and still has) a very good job and has been with the same company, working his way slowly up for now over 39 years.
I had a very good paying job
We had one ten room house and doing better than what she was use to.
Some background info on Stacy:
When I was first introduced to her father, she asked me to come over with her to pick up her things. Her father was reclined full length, laying down on the sofa, smoking and drinking. He took one look at me and the first words he uttered to me were, "God you're fat." I politely ignored his comment. He appeared to be semi-drunk, and possibly suffering from the beginnings of dementia from long term alcohol abuse. (I was in nursing years back).
We did not have any further contact with Stacy's father until the wedding.
We did have dinner with Stacy's mother the night before the wedding. J was a lovely woman who left her four children and abusive husband (including Stacy) years back because the father had gotten a hold of a very slick lawyer and she knew it would be hopeless to fight for custody of her children. J was also an immigrant from WWII Poland.
J left and I could tell this probably broke her heart but Stacy's father was a real piece of work. I have never run into people before that actually were so hateful, so eager to fight, they actually enjoyed fighting and hurting others, it was like a fun game to them to listen to them talk and brag about how they screwed someone.
The above concept was very foreign to me. I would rather run than fight, personally, I don't like fighting - it is exhausting and a waste of good energy.
Stacy's mother did not come to the wedding because I had told Stacy that if she thought her father would make a scene with her mother there it might prove very uncomfortable and wreck her wedding. Her father was now at the point where he said exactly whatever came to him and did not bother to spare anyone's feelings in the process.
As it was, several people made some very heartwarming and wonderful toasts at the wedding reception, however, the bride's father (as I anticipated) made a total jerk of himself by toasting not to Michael and Stacy's happiness but cutting his ex wife down. It was a good thing that J did not come to the wedding.
In my 58 years of life, Stacy's father is the only human being I have ever seen in a coffin I didn't feel sad for. Other than my husband's family, (I have none living), he had three friends.
Things went along smoothly for awhile.
I could tell Stacy really resented John and I being so excited and happy about our grand daughter and her parent's not even caring, so I tried to contain my joy.
Oh that was hard, Alexis was the most beautiful baby - so delicate, so sweet.
We chipped in quite a bit to help get them a townhouse - All babies deserve a little nest. They both lost their jobs and we ended up buying the townhouse off of them so it wouldn't go into foreclosure.
While most times it is the wife and mother that cares for and forms a bond with the children, Stacy had no clue or desire to mother Alexis. Changing poopie diapers made her vomit. So, while she worked, went to school and helped her brother Curtis at his DJ/Kareokee business, my son was the main caregiver of his daughter. They still have a very strong bond, usually reserved for the mother - but Stacy (the mother) was never around so Alexis bonded with Michael.
Stacy's father didn't want to see Alexis until he was on his death bed and her mother, the maternal grandmother, had long ago moved far away to another part of the country and remarried, starting a whole new life minus her ex-husband and children. This situation contributed to Stacy's psychological problems I believe. She simply never got to see how a loving, functional family operates. Her homelife had been one of being raised by a psychopath, full of hate and fighting everyone.
Alexis turned two in April of 2003 and was staying over at our house one night. We were all sleeping peacefully, after a fun filled day together.
I turned over, at again around three AM to find my husband not next to me. I got up to check on him. He wasn't in the bathroom but I could now see red and blue lights playing against the walls - the police were here!
I went outside to find my grand daughter wrapped in one of the angel quilts I bought her (and planned to keep as a heirloom item for Alexis's children) but now she was in Stacy's arms with her mother taking her away, with my husband, the police and Michael standing on the driveway.
I was informed that Stacy was leaving Michael (later she confided to me that my son gaining 45 pounds disgusted her).
I went up to her in her car and begged her, "please do not make this a vicious, drawn out affair - for the sake of your daughter, our grand daughter. What ever happened between you and Michael is none of my business - but Alexis is a part of us, we are also her family, please do not cut us out of her life, I am prepared to pay you up to $1,500 a month to ensure the baby has a nice place to live and good healthy food in her belly. I want to remain a part of her life, and we care deeply about you both." My sentiment went right over her head, I could see in her eyes she was shutting me out.
Again, the concept of someone willing to do anything for a loved one was totally beyond her.
Well Stacy disappeared with Alexis for three months, Those three months we worried and worried about her and no the law didn't care.
After four months, she initiated divorce proceedings and for the last eight years we have shelled out over $18,000 in lawyer fees (in addition to what my son could also afford, another $12,000, to just be able to see his daughter and our grand daugher occassionally.
Thanksgivings, weddings, Christmases, Easter, most holidays we rarely got to see her.
BTW: In Illinois, the system does not make the woman comply with "joint custody" - that's a joke, only if you have mega bucks and can find a really aggressive lawyer will you get any justice from a psychopath.
And Laura is right, "Birds of a feather, flock together."
When we did get to see her, Alexis would cry when it came time "to go back to mom's". She would act out, get all bent out of shape, clinging to my son, my husband and me.
Once two years back she begged me to "take her away, we could run away together." and I had to tell her, "Sorry, we have to obey the law."
The law is not just, nobody yet has bothered to speak with my grand daughter. She, "by law" is considered the property of her mother.
Joint custody in Illinois means (usually the father) gets to see his child(ren) 48 hours every other weekend. And that's if the woman decides to comply. Stacy would go for months in non-compliance and the court didn't care.
We have experienced the following:
Stacy has stalked and contacted my son's fiance.
Mike has dated two different women in eight years.
Stacy has dated and lived with around seven or eight men.
She has called his place of employement and got him fired. Michael worked for the Illinois Tollway Dept and she cut her own throat because now Michael losing this job he could no long pay child support - we had to help him get a lawyer because the court doesn't care if the woman stalks, physically abuses (Stacy has punched Michael in the parking lot) or does not follow "joint custody rulings, the woman can get by with anything in Illinois. The court only cares if the father is making payments. No matter if the ex-wife called the ex-husband's employer and got him fired.
For eight years this monster has stalked, harrassed our son and made our financial and emotional life miserable.
Stacy as stated before punched Michael at the pick up point and this upset my grand daughter, as she said, "Mama punched Papa and the Policemen laughed."
Michael, my husband and I have never been given a phone number, address, school, doctor, no information about Alexis. For eight years we were only included marginally in Alexis's life.
Alienation is a popular game I was told by our lawyers, the woman alienates the child by keeping THEIR CHILD(REN) away from the father and his family.
Now the antiquated laws were made to protect women before they could get a decent job, and when most men were unfortunately brutish.
In this particular case, my son was never a brute. Oh he's sloppy, leaves socks where they fall, toilet seat up, sloppy but basically a nice, kind, gentle person who did the bulk of parenting Alexis as a infant.
However, times have changed. While many men are brutes, I myself have found more women than men to be psychopathic than men.
Most men are too stupid, manipulative wise, they are more like dogs, where as women are smarter socially, they are more like cats, sneaky, manipulative and actually enjoy practicing predatory behavior.
Again, this is just my own opinon and I only have my own experience to go by.
Stacy, my ex boss (my job was outsourced to India), the most horrendous dealings I have had with psychopaths - have been women. I have met a few men, but by and large, women are smart enough to take it to a whole new level. The women managers I encountered were all psychopathic.
See the movie, "The Orphan".
Women are just so good at manipulating, they don't get caught and our society promotes the sterotype brutish male vs poor defenseless female. (They never met Stacy).
Well, it's been eight years and Stacy has had about eight boyfriends. She has finally gotten one to propose marriage and he met with our son. His statement after talking with Mike was, "Gee you're a pretty decent guy, nothing like what Stacy told me.
In fact, the new boyfriend (heaven help him) has asked Stacy to please stop with the battle or he won't marry her. So now we have a written agreement she signed that finally Michael will be allowed more "access" to his daughter.
Meanwhile, Alexis has developed real separation issues among other deep psychological wounds, no child should have to endure. However many do because the woman puts her own vendictive, desires to "get even" ahead of her own child(ren's) welfare.
And I am not talking about protecting a child from a abusive father, ours was not the case.
Recently a few years back, she went to court trying to claim ownership of the town house, but my husband and I had the receipts showing we paid 95% of the mortagage on this property. fyi: If she allowed us to be a part of our grand daughter's life she would be the owner of the townhouse as I would do anything to maintain contact with my one and only grandchild. But, she enjoyed hurting, fighting, just like her father did and that's exactly why her mother moved as far from her and started a new life as possible.
It's been eight years of hell, pure hell - all that money going towards lawyers, it's a racket the lawyers promote to make themselves rich. That money could have, should have gone towards Alexis's education or wedding.
But Stacy lives to fight. That's all she has ever known.
I would have rather given the money outright over to Stacy for Alexis vs paying a bunch of lawyers to out manuever her trying to erase us from our grand daughter's life.
I don't know if I've explained it clear enough, at this point rehashing over this I find myself crying (again) as this is not how I wanted it to be.
My son, like many men, thought with the head between his legs and not on his shoulder.
Stacy was smooth, she came from a very disfunctional family background and saw our family, which, while not perfect, were pretty happy and loving, she saw we had"stuff" and she wanted it, and would stop at nothing trying to take it.
If you are a man and a man with some real money - I give you fair warning, you must be very careful who you give your heart to.
Headgames, at everyone's expense, no matter who she hurt. She thinks of only one person, herself.
Once she told me her mother sent Alexis a blanket and I said, "Oh that's wonderful!" and she looked at me completely floored, and said, "Aren't you jealous?" and I said, "No, when you love someone, you're happy whenever they get something nice in their life." Her look said it all - this concept of wanting something good for a loved one was completely outside her understanding, a foreign concept to her.
Life is one big fight after fight after fight for this young woman. She can't hold a job, an apartment, her friends, everyone around her eventually wises up and drops her like a hot potato, after being used and hurt by her.
Well, the little princess of psychopathica has finally found another victim. We now, after $18,000, get to see Alexis regularly and in passing, Alexis and I, in one of our talks she said, "Grandma, I want to be like you and Grandpa - my mother is mean, all she does is fight with everyone."
I kept my mouth shut and went onto another subject as I am afraid if I say anything I will risk losing my precious grandbaby again.
She has had to endure so much for one so young.
Men are not the only psychopaths out there, there are plenty of women - I've watched them operate and they're far superior to men, because women have had to learn to survive in a "man's world" for so long, they've become adept at manipulation.
Alexis once told me, "I hate my mother, she is a bad person." and I told her, "You love your mother because she is your mother, but you hate what she is doing and that can make you feel icky." Alexis replied, "Yes, that's why I'm confused inside sometimes."
Our society is big on promoting the sterotype "brutish male" vs the "poor defenseless female" but that in and of itself is another conspiracy, the separation of the sexes, as Rockefeller once said, "I don't want a nation of thinkers, I want a nation of workers".
TPTB Don't want us to unite and the family unite has systematically and is successfully being destroyed and that's exactly the way TPTB want it.
United we stand, divided we fall and folks, we're falling fast.
Children no longer see how two people work things out, talk things through, compromise, treat each other with respect and kindness.
What are they being taught?
Many children are raised by their mothers and never allowed or encouraged to get to know their father or his family.
Men are painted as brutish and savage.
Not all men are, in fact, like most animal species, the female is turning out to be more deadlier than the male.
How do I know this?
I am the paternal grandmother of Alexis and have gone through eight years of constantly trying to be allowed to see my own grand daughter.
Eleven years ago, my son brought over a very young and physically beautiful lady. She was 5', 110 pounds (soaking wet with a towel), long thick beautiful blonde hair, big brown eyes and well, by any man's standards, a real "beauty".
Michael, pulled me aside and said, "Well mom, what do you think, isn't she gorgeous!" (He did not express this sentiment as a question).
I replied, "Michael, looks are only skin deep. She has already bragged to us how she has stolen a cassett player from her own brother, how deeply she hates her family, they have drug problems (her brother is now currently dying of long term meth use) and comes from a very deeply disturbed family background."
My son replied, "Oh but I looooooooooooove her. She wants to be like us a normal family, you know, married, with kids and a house - the whole works, that's what she wants, and I'm going to give it to her."
We are not rich. My husband and I of 38 years have struggled our whole life, working very hard, scrimping and saving "for our three sons".
Our entire life has revolved around our three sons and their welfare and happiness. My husband was and continues to be a exceptional father, that is why I married him.
My son that first night then asked me if she could spend the night, she had a horrible fight with her father and couldn't go back home.
I replied, "I don't think that would be a good idea, we hardly know this young lady."
The subject was than dropped.
Fast forward to around midnight, they were still downstairs talking. I reminded Michael that Stacy was not to remain overnight under our roof as they were not married and this was ten years ago, our home, our rules. He agreed. We did offer Stacy money if she needed to check into a motel for a day or two. I thought that most generous. We also offered to "get to know her better, maybe meet her for lunch or such, she declined.
Fast forward to three AM. We have one upstairs bath, all three bedrooms share. The bedroom to the right of the master bedroom is my office and library where my computer is located at.
Anyway, it is three AM, I wake up to go to the bathroom which is to the left of our (husband & I) bedroom. I remember distinctly turning off our office/library's light, but there it was on and who is sitting at my desk, in front of my computer but Stacy.
Now, I don't know about the rest of you, but if you should invite me over for dinner, I would come, be on time, bring something nice and leave at the appropriate time. I would not invite myself to camp out in your home or stay past "the welcome period."
Also, I would, if invited into your home, no more think of touching your computer no more than taking your car for a spin without your expressed approval.
I was livid, my computer is my private property. My husband has his own computer, and I don't even go into his without asking first, for us this is JUST NOT DONE! It is a breech of polite and considerate conduct.
I than went in and woke up my husband and he said he would "handle this touchy situation". I did not want to be accused of fouling up our son's "happiness" or come off as the pushy mother in law to be. Personally I wanted to go in there and yank the little princess out of my chair and kick her skinny little butt out of my home.
Well she left, not happy I am sure.
In trying to reason with my son, I told him, you're not thinking with the head on your shoulders, her sweet smile changed once she wasn't allowed to run all over us Mike, somethings not right. I'm not the most socially smooth or adept person by a long shot and even I know that one never touches another's computer like one would never think of driving off with someone else's car. She simply had no respect for the property of another. I repeat I had a really bad feeling about this young lady from the get go.
Flash forward a few months later, we had treated the little princess out to dinner several times, taking her to the restaurant of her choice for her birthday, inviting her over and including her in our nice Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners, I honestly treated her very nice.
Every step of the way I could see she was a taker, everything had to revolve around what she wanted and she had no conception of being "nice" or playing "fair". She was a person without rules or restrictions as far as when she saw something, she would grab it regardless of who she hurt or ran over.
One night they sat my husband and I down on the couch and announced she was with child and were looking to get married within about six months, she was already two months along.
She was living with her father who was now really mad at her as he wanted her to have a second abortion (first was pre Michael). She refused this time.
Why?
She saw that:
My son had a good payroll job.
My husband had (and still has) a very good job and has been with the same company, working his way slowly up for now over 39 years.
I had a very good paying job
We had one ten room house and doing better than what she was use to.
Some background info on Stacy:
When I was first introduced to her father, she asked me to come over with her to pick up her things. Her father was reclined full length, laying down on the sofa, smoking and drinking. He took one look at me and the first words he uttered to me were, "God you're fat." I politely ignored his comment. He appeared to be semi-drunk, and possibly suffering from the beginnings of dementia from long term alcohol abuse. (I was in nursing years back).
We did not have any further contact with Stacy's father until the wedding.
We did have dinner with Stacy's mother the night before the wedding. J was a lovely woman who left her four children and abusive husband (including Stacy) years back because the father had gotten a hold of a very slick lawyer and she knew it would be hopeless to fight for custody of her children. J was also an immigrant from WWII Poland.
J left and I could tell this probably broke her heart but Stacy's father was a real piece of work. I have never run into people before that actually were so hateful, so eager to fight, they actually enjoyed fighting and hurting others, it was like a fun game to them to listen to them talk and brag about how they screwed someone.
The above concept was very foreign to me. I would rather run than fight, personally, I don't like fighting - it is exhausting and a waste of good energy.
Stacy's mother did not come to the wedding because I had told Stacy that if she thought her father would make a scene with her mother there it might prove very uncomfortable and wreck her wedding. Her father was now at the point where he said exactly whatever came to him and did not bother to spare anyone's feelings in the process.
As it was, several people made some very heartwarming and wonderful toasts at the wedding reception, however, the bride's father (as I anticipated) made a total jerk of himself by toasting not to Michael and Stacy's happiness but cutting his ex wife down. It was a good thing that J did not come to the wedding.
In my 58 years of life, Stacy's father is the only human being I have ever seen in a coffin I didn't feel sad for. Other than my husband's family, (I have none living), he had three friends.
Things went along smoothly for awhile.
I could tell Stacy really resented John and I being so excited and happy about our grand daughter and her parent's not even caring, so I tried to contain my joy.
Oh that was hard, Alexis was the most beautiful baby - so delicate, so sweet.
We chipped in quite a bit to help get them a townhouse - All babies deserve a little nest. They both lost their jobs and we ended up buying the townhouse off of them so it wouldn't go into foreclosure.
While most times it is the wife and mother that cares for and forms a bond with the children, Stacy had no clue or desire to mother Alexis. Changing poopie diapers made her vomit. So, while she worked, went to school and helped her brother Curtis at his DJ/Kareokee business, my son was the main caregiver of his daughter. They still have a very strong bond, usually reserved for the mother - but Stacy (the mother) was never around so Alexis bonded with Michael.
Stacy's father didn't want to see Alexis until he was on his death bed and her mother, the maternal grandmother, had long ago moved far away to another part of the country and remarried, starting a whole new life minus her ex-husband and children. This situation contributed to Stacy's psychological problems I believe. She simply never got to see how a loving, functional family operates. Her homelife had been one of being raised by a psychopath, full of hate and fighting everyone.
Alexis turned two in April of 2003 and was staying over at our house one night. We were all sleeping peacefully, after a fun filled day together.
I turned over, at again around three AM to find my husband not next to me. I got up to check on him. He wasn't in the bathroom but I could now see red and blue lights playing against the walls - the police were here!
I went outside to find my grand daughter wrapped in one of the angel quilts I bought her (and planned to keep as a heirloom item for Alexis's children) but now she was in Stacy's arms with her mother taking her away, with my husband, the police and Michael standing on the driveway.
I was informed that Stacy was leaving Michael (later she confided to me that my son gaining 45 pounds disgusted her).
I went up to her in her car and begged her, "please do not make this a vicious, drawn out affair - for the sake of your daughter, our grand daughter. What ever happened between you and Michael is none of my business - but Alexis is a part of us, we are also her family, please do not cut us out of her life, I am prepared to pay you up to $1,500 a month to ensure the baby has a nice place to live and good healthy food in her belly. I want to remain a part of her life, and we care deeply about you both." My sentiment went right over her head, I could see in her eyes she was shutting me out.
Again, the concept of someone willing to do anything for a loved one was totally beyond her.Well Stacy disappeared with Alexis for three months,
Those three months we worried and worried about her and no the law didn't care.After four months, she initiated divorce proceedings and for the last eight years we have shelled out over $18,000 in lawyer fees (in addition to what my son could also afford, another $12,000, to just be able to see his daughter and our grand daugher occassionally.
Thanksgivings, weddings, Christmases, Easter, most holidays we rarely got to see her.
BTW: In Illinois, the system does not make the woman comply with "joint custody" - that's a joke, only if you have mega bucks and can find a really aggressive lawyer will you get any justice from a psychopath.
And Laura is right, "Birds of a feather, flock together."
When we did get to see her, Alexis would cry when it came time "to go back to mom's". She would act out, get all bent out of shape, clinging to my son, my husband and me.
Once two years back she begged me to "take her away, we could run away together." and I had to tell her, "Sorry, we have to obey the law."
The law is not just, nobody yet has bothered to speak with my grand daughter. She, "by law" is considered the property of her mother.
Joint custody in Illinois means (usually the father) gets to see his child(ren) 48 hours every other weekend. And that's if the woman decides to comply. Stacy would go for months in non-compliance and the court didn't care.
We have experienced the following:
Stacy has stalked and contacted my son's fiance.
Mike has dated two different women in eight years.
Stacy has dated and lived with around seven or eight men.
She has called his place of employement and got him fired. Michael worked for the Illinois Tollway Dept and she cut her own throat because now Michael losing this job he could no long pay child support - we had to help him get a lawyer because the court doesn't care if the woman stalks, physically abuses (Stacy has punched Michael in the parking lot) or does not follow "joint custody rulings, the woman can get by with anything in Illinois. The court only cares if the father is making payments. No matter if the ex-wife called the ex-husband's employer and got him fired.
For eight years this monster has stalked, harrassed our son and made our financial and emotional life miserable.
Stacy as stated before punched Michael at the pick up point and this upset my grand daughter, as she said, "Mama punched Papa and the Policemen laughed."
Michael, my husband and I have never been given a phone number, address, school, doctor, no information about Alexis. For eight years we were only included marginally in Alexis's life.
Alienation is a popular game I was told by our lawyers, the woman alienates the child by keeping THEIR CHILD(REN) away from the father and his family.
Now the antiquated laws were made to protect women before they could get a decent job, and when most men were unfortunately brutish.
In this particular case, my son was never a brute. Oh he's sloppy, leaves socks where they fall, toilet seat up, sloppy but basically a nice, kind, gentle person who did the bulk of parenting Alexis as a infant.
However, times have changed. While many men are brutes, I myself have found more women than men to be psychopathic than men.
Most men are too stupid, manipulative wise, they are more like dogs, where as women are smarter socially, they are more like cats, sneaky, manipulative and actually enjoy practicing predatory behavior.
Again, this is just my own opinon and I only have my own experience to go by.
Stacy, my ex boss (my job was outsourced to India), the most horrendous dealings I have had with psychopaths - have been women. I have met a few men, but by and large, women are smart enough to take it to a whole new level. The women managers I encountered were all psychopathic.
See the movie, "The Orphan".
Women are just so good at manipulating, they don't get caught and our society promotes the sterotype brutish male vs poor defenseless female. (They never met Stacy).
Well, it's been eight years and Stacy has had about eight boyfriends. She has finally gotten one to propose marriage and he met with our son. His statement after talking with Mike was, "Gee you're a pretty decent guy, nothing like what Stacy told me.
In fact, the new boyfriend (heaven help him) has asked Stacy to please stop with the battle or he won't marry her. So now we have a written agreement she signed that finally Michael will be allowed more "access" to his daughter.
Meanwhile, Alexis has developed real separation issues among other deep psychological wounds, no child should have to endure. However many do because the woman puts her own vendictive, desires to "get even" ahead of her own child(ren's) welfare.
And I am not talking about protecting a child from a abusive father, ours was not the case.
Recently a few years back, she went to court trying to claim ownership of the town house, but my husband and I had the receipts showing we paid 95% of the mortagage on this property. fyi: If she allowed us to be a part of our grand daughter's life she would be the owner of the townhouse as I would do anything to maintain contact with my one and only grandchild. But, she enjoyed hurting, fighting, just like her father did and that's exactly why her mother moved as far from her and started a new life as possible.
It's been eight years of hell, pure hell - all that money going towards lawyers, it's a racket the lawyers promote to make themselves rich. That money could have, should have gone towards Alexis's education or wedding.
But Stacy lives to fight. That's all she has ever known.
I would have rather given the money outright over to Stacy for Alexis vs paying a bunch of lawyers to out manuever her trying to erase us from our grand daughter's life.
I don't know if I've explained it clear enough, at this point rehashing over this I find myself crying (again) as this is not how I wanted it to be.
My son, like many men, thought with the head between his legs and not on his shoulder.
Stacy was smooth, she came from a very disfunctional family background and saw our family, which, while not perfect, were pretty happy and loving, she saw we had"stuff" and she wanted it, and would stop at nothing trying to take it.
If you are a man and a man with some real money - I give you fair warning, you must be very careful who you give your heart to.
Headgames, at everyone's expense, no matter who she hurt. She thinks of only one person, herself.
Once she told me her mother sent Alexis a blanket and I said, "Oh that's wonderful!" and she looked at me completely floored, and said, "Aren't you jealous?" and I said, "No, when you love someone, you're happy whenever they get something nice in their life." Her look said it all - this concept of wanting something good for a loved one was completely outside her understanding, a foreign concept to her.
Life is one big fight after fight after fight for this young woman. She can't hold a job, an apartment, her friends, everyone around her eventually wises up and drops her like a hot potato, after being used and hurt by her.
Well, the little princess of psychopathica has finally found another victim. We now, after $18,000, get to see Alexis regularly and in passing, Alexis and I, in one of our talks she said, "Grandma, I want to be like you and Grandpa - my mother is mean, all she does is fight with everyone."
I kept my mouth shut and went onto another subject as I am afraid if I say anything I will risk losing my precious grandbaby again.
She has had to endure so much for one so young.
Men are not the only psychopaths out there, there are plenty of women - I've watched them operate and they're far superior to men, because women have had to learn to survive in a "man's world" for so long, they've become adept at manipulation.
Alexis once told me, "I hate my mother, she is a bad person." and I told her, "You love your mother because she is your mother, but you hate what she is doing and that can make you feel icky." Alexis replied, "Yes, that's why I'm confused inside sometimes."
Our society is big on promoting the sterotype "brutish male" vs the "poor defenseless female" but that in and of itself is another conspiracy, the separation of the sexes, as Rockefeller once said, "I don't want a nation of thinkers, I want a nation of workers".
TPTB Don't want us to unite and the family unite has systematically and is successfully being destroyed and that's exactly the way TPTB want it.
United we stand, divided we fall and folks, we're falling fast.
Children no longer see how two people work things out, talk things through, compromise, treat each other with respect and kindness.
What are they being taught?
I did get custody of my kids even being the single dad, but I still spent 7 yrs in court fighting with their psycho mother. VERY draining to say the least. As you know, this type of creature lives to fight and cause agony even if it's not in their best interest. I was giving her $3,000/month before it became apparent that I should take custody, but she still wanted more. After/during court, she ended up without her kids and had to pay me $250/mth. (sounds like "the scorpion and the frog")
