There has been good advice in this thread and it indeed can be a minefield, as was said.
Fwiw, on the 17th my partner and I have been in marriage for 32 years. Many of those years we both were caught up in the affairs of raising a child and figuring out something of life while towing our own baggage. There were times when our collinear relationship was waning, if it was even collinear - we seemed for a time on foreign paths. In the last decade things changed slowly at first, we both moved in different directions, yet there were intercept points. It was at these points that things were acknowledged and learning could begin - communicating is something we worked at to maintain.
Going further into the work for me, also brought up discussions of further cognitive and science type matters; not to mention history and the world at large. I started working with more and more people (result of my vocational work) and so did she in a very different way, which resulted in more discussion between us and more learning from each others experiences. As for the real work, work on the-self, even though she was not here on the forum, she was nonetheless doing the same thing in her own way; unpacking baggage in an honest, often painful, yet thoughtful way - I watched this unfold, and it still is. So we've accepted each others paths, knowing they are different in part, accepting these differences, while also knowing there is great commonalty and in affect, these paths are shared.
As for shutting things out, at one time in the past this was so for her, as it was for me, yet her alignments (and mine), without ever asking her to consider, naturally just became more collinear - it was like an osmosis effect, like minds hearing each other without speaking. To this day now, it has become uncanny how she sees something (people, herself or worldviews) and can decipher things so much more clearly in alignment of the work. To be perfectly honest, on the forum, in the work, there is the concept of having someone on the step behind you, and that has become more case, yet more so, I also realized that I'm on the step behind her in so many many ways - so we keep at helping each other to learn and step forward.
I don't think I would have seen this even five years ago. In saying that, keeping communication open, learning more patience, truly listening, trusting, considering and being open to feedback helps a great deal - cause its damn hard seeing yourself in an objective way. In some of these latter things, I truly have to thank the forum here for helping me to better plant these seeds.
Fwiw, on the 17th my partner and I have been in marriage for 32 years. Many of those years we both were caught up in the affairs of raising a child and figuring out something of life while towing our own baggage. There were times when our collinear relationship was waning, if it was even collinear - we seemed for a time on foreign paths. In the last decade things changed slowly at first, we both moved in different directions, yet there were intercept points. It was at these points that things were acknowledged and learning could begin - communicating is something we worked at to maintain.
Going further into the work for me, also brought up discussions of further cognitive and science type matters; not to mention history and the world at large. I started working with more and more people (result of my vocational work) and so did she in a very different way, which resulted in more discussion between us and more learning from each others experiences. As for the real work, work on the-self, even though she was not here on the forum, she was nonetheless doing the same thing in her own way; unpacking baggage in an honest, often painful, yet thoughtful way - I watched this unfold, and it still is. So we've accepted each others paths, knowing they are different in part, accepting these differences, while also knowing there is great commonalty and in affect, these paths are shared.
As for shutting things out, at one time in the past this was so for her, as it was for me, yet her alignments (and mine), without ever asking her to consider, naturally just became more collinear - it was like an osmosis effect, like minds hearing each other without speaking. To this day now, it has become uncanny how she sees something (people, herself or worldviews) and can decipher things so much more clearly in alignment of the work. To be perfectly honest, on the forum, in the work, there is the concept of having someone on the step behind you, and that has become more case, yet more so, I also realized that I'm on the step behind her in so many many ways - so we keep at helping each other to learn and step forward.
I don't think I would have seen this even five years ago. In saying that, keeping communication open, learning more patience, truly listening, trusting, considering and being open to feedback helps a great deal - cause its damn hard seeing yourself in an objective way. In some of these latter things, I truly have to thank the forum here for helping me to better plant these seeds.
