My son has mangas with violent sex scenes and violence

[Atreides]

Without knowing the name of the manga it's hard to say, it sounds like it's a villainous character and the point of the scene is to establish his evil nature. Which from what you say, it seems the son got that. I am not sure anything else needs to be understood from this. At the age of 13, there's nothing you can much say that won't come off as irritating and patronizing. If he says he understands it's not a model to emulate, and that it's a villain, then I think he's sorted on this topic.

 

[SunEterna]

Hello everybody! Thank you for all the answers!
Sorry for the delay, we were overtake by things of life! :)

I think ideally he needs an understanding male who has 'been there' to candidly offer some experience. So few of us have that, and I think it would have made a world of difference for me. Are you close enough to him for this to be an option?

Hello! Thank you for your answer!
I guess it is a good idea! I'll can talk with him, talking about the issue of pornography, when the mother will talk to him! I'll add a comment, add an advice, an experience, some thoughts... But he has another father! I don't know what my girl plains to do, talking with the father or with me, or both... If she engages in a talk with him while i'm here, i'll try to add something! :)

Without knowing the name of the manga it's hard to say, it sounds like it's a villainous character and the point of the scene is to establish his evil nature. Which from what you say, it seems the son got that. I am not sure anything else needs to be understood from this. At the age of 13, there's nothing you can much say that won't come off as irritating and patronizing. If he says he understands it's not a model to emulate, and that it's a villain, then I think he's sorted on this topic.

Yeah! I don't remember the name of the manga... my girl said it was a violent sex scene, but, for me, it is just a two people doing a bestiale like intercourse! It is not a rape... maybe it is, but i don't have proof and factual elements to point it out! :)
I'll read it and i'll get the name of the manga!

But another problem, is, that he's on the website 4chan... it's a website only for adults! He always speaks about 4chan! So, i told the mother what kind of website it was! We went on it and even in a normal section like "paranormal" (where you also have to be an adult to access it), it had "trash" sexual pictures!

The mother talked about it with him and he said, after a silence, "no, no, i don't directly go on it, just, i know it by youtube"... Knowing how we can be as teenagers and taking into account everything you all said, i guess it is a time to speak about sexuality and pornography... :)

Moreover, i have the feeling that he always tries to find an excuse to prove the fact that he's "clean"! :D The mother was worried and she talked in a way where she lost a little her temper the night she discovered the material!

So, i guess we have to talk to him about it, with consciousness, respect and comprehension!

Thank again everybody, peace!

 

[Phill4]

How is their relationship? I mean is their relationship good and loving? how is their life? how many hours does the son spend online?

kids are now bound to the influence of speeded information via internet, it is true that during puberty all these curiosities take place on every kid, the risk with this as is the case of her son as well as any other kid with to access to internet is that they have to develop their sexuality in a healthy way, and sometimes they have access to more than they should or more than their mind can handle and process.

13 is a very important age in the development of a person and unfortunately pornography in itself is unhealthy even to adults.

It is normal for a kid to have curiosities, and explore, as it is important for them to know their responsibilities, like is not just a game.

at this point she should address the difference between making love and have sex, so at least the kid has something to ponder in this regard.

My opinion

 

[SunEterna]

Hello everybody!

I have the name of the manga, it is called "Prophecy" ! This is the tome 1!
And for the sexual scene depicted in it, it's the "hero" of the manga who is working, cleaning the glasses of a building and he sees a couple, two fat persons, with perspiration, copulating! The woman is blindfolded and the man is behind her... I don't know the utility of this scene... After that, the hero is fired because the society in which he works received complaints... So... The scene is really well drawn, with details and all... So i don't know the utility of the scene, maybe because they wanted him to be fired (for the story, it makes sense), but, why this way? Just for placing a sexual scene like in our "good" Hollywood movies! :D

This manga is destinated to young adults as i can see on Wikipedia!

Well, peace, see you, we will see with the mother...

 

[SunEterna]

How is their relationship? I mean is their relationship good and loving? how is their life? how many hours does the son spend online?

kids are now bound to the influence of speeded information via internet, it is true that during puberty all these curiosities take place on every kid, the risk with this as is the case of her son as well as any other kid with to access to internet is that they have to develop their sexuality in a healthy way, and sometimes they have access to more than they should or more than their mind can handle and process.

13 is a very important age in the development of a person and unfortunately pornography in itself is unhealthy even to adults.

It is normal for a kid to have curiosities, and explore, as it is important for them to know their responsibilities, like is not just a game.

at this point she should address the difference between making love and have sex, so at least the kid has something to ponder in this regard.

My opinion

Hello!
Thank you for your answer!
Why are you asking "how many hours does the son spend online?"? :)
I think she cans speak with me easily...
And yeah, yeah, she should interest herself with his internet life! :)
Well, peace!

 

[Shinzenbi]

My girlfriend would like to know what to say to her son... what could she say? Speak about sexuality? She would like to know how to explain things, with sanity, as her son is 13 years old!

These excerpts from Hagakure (book of the samurai, written at the beginning of the 18th century) may help :

To give a person one's opinion and correct his faults is an important thing. It is compassionate and comes first in matters of service. But the way of doing this is extremely difficult. To discover the good and bad points of a person is an easy thing, and to give an opinion concerning them is easy, too. For the most part, people think that they are being kind by saying the things that others find distasteful or difficult to say. But if it is not received well, they think that there is nothing more to be done. This is completely worthless. It is the same as brining shame to a person by slandering him. It is nothing more than getting it off one's chest.

To give a person an opinion, one must first judge well whether that person is of the disposition to receive it or not. One must become close with him and make sure that he continually trusts one's word. Approaching subjects that are dear to him, seek the best way to speak and to be well understood. Judge the occasion, and determine whether it is better by letter or at the time of leave-taking. Praise his good points and use every device to encourage him, perhaps by talking about one's own faults without touching on his, but so that they will occur to him. Have him receive this in the way that a man would drink water when his throat is dry, and it will be an opinion that will correct faults. This is extremely difficult. If a person s fault is a habit of some years prior, by and large it won't be remedied. I have had this experience myself. To be intimate with alt one's comrades, correcting each other's faults, and being of one mind to be of use to the master is the great compassion of a retainer. By bringing shame to a person, how could one expect to make him a better man?

This one is also interesting, in this context. It emphasizes the fact that someone may not be the right person to comment someone else’s behavior.

In admonishing the master, if one is not of the proper rank to do so, it shows great loyalty to have someone who is of that rank speak and have the master correct his mistakes. To be on a footing to do this one must be on cordial terms with everyone. If one does this for his own sake, it is simply flattery. One does this, rather, in his concern to support the clan on his own.