Narcissism - Resources and links

[Gaby]

If some of you want to expand your readings on narcissism here is a link with resources:

http://www.controllingparents.com/links.htm

All the listed books have links to amazon where you can read reviews, some pages of the books, etc and check if it might be helpful. I found the link through the book Controlling Parents, which I'm currently reading.

The recommended books in QFS on narcissism/trauma are listed there (except for Myth of Sanity and Unholy Hungers). The QFS list is the priority and the basic reading on the subject because it has proved to be quite useful, but sometimes and for some of us, it might be helpful to read other stuff too.

Here are some of the books listed about unhealthy narcissism:

Why Is It Always About You? Saving Yourself from the Narcissists in Your Life Sandy Hotchkiss, 2002

Trapped in the Mirror: Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self Elan Golomb, 1992

The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman and Robert Pressman, 1997

Children of the Self-Absorbed: A Grown-up's Guide to Getting Over Narcissistic Parents Nina Brown, 2001

The Destructive Narcissistic Pattern Nina Brown, 1998

The Drama of the Gifted Child: The Search for the True Self Alice Miller, 1996

If You Had Controlling Parents: How to Make Peace with Your Past and Take Your Place in the World Dan Neuharth, 1999

I read most of them except for Nina Brown's book which I have and checked and so far I found them all very useful to get a grasp in the subject that could be useful in a daily basis. My all time favorite is Trapped in the Mirror, probably because it was the first one I read on the subject and probably because I love the author's style ;)

 

[Hesper]

Just read this article on SOTT and thought it was a good article on Western societies and their epidemic of narcissism:

Narcissism lies on a continuum from healthy to pathological. Healthy narcissism is part of normal human functioning. It can represent healthy self-love and confidence that is based on real achievement, the ability to overcome setbacks and derive the support needed from social ties.

But narcissism becomes a problem when the individual becomes preoccupied with the self, needing excessive admiration and approval from others, while showing disregard for other people's sensitivities. If the narcissist does not receive the attention desired, substance abuse and major depressive disorder can develop.

Narcissists often portray an image of grandiosity or overconfidence to the world, but this is only to cover up deep feelings of insecurity and a fragile self-esteem that is easily bruised by the slightest criticism. Because of these traits, narcissists find themselves in shallow relationships that only serve to satisfy their constant need for attention. When narcissistic traits become so pronounced that they lead to impairment this can indicate the presence of narcissistic personality disorder.

In the bolded sentence it strikes me that the narcissist is reacting to objective evidence that directly contradicts their illusions. Major depressive disorder could be a healthy sign, then, that the psyche is actually healing (beginning a positive disintegration), while substance abuse a sign that the psyche is not ready, or has chosen not to, see the truth.

 

[Konstantin]

Very interesting topic Gaby. Thank you

 

[Jenn]

I recently came across Dr. Ramani on YouTube, she's an American clinical psychologist, professor of psychology, media expert, and author (according to Wiki). On YouTube her main focus is Narcissism, she covers signs to spot a narcissist, understanding their psychology, and how to deal with them, among many other things. It's not new information but the format is easy to digest.

I looked into her a little more and it seems she got caught up in the whole covid thing, but if you can set that aside her videos are very useful IMO. Here are a couple:

 

[Yas]

I looked into her a little more and it seems she got caught up in the whole covid thing, but if you can set that aside her videos are very useful IMO.

I usually listen to her and find her videos pretty good, although she does make some 'feminist' comments here and there too.

She recently had another interview with Mel Robins that focuses on healing from narcissistic relationships. I think it is a very good video: