Need advice

[Yas]

hallo everybody!

I have something like an urgent decision to make.

I have been invited to go as a photographer to a place where things are quite tense now.

The thing is, last Friday there has been a battle between peasants and the police in the country side. 15 are dead. I know, it doesn't sound like a lot, but my country is quite pacific so that's a lot for us.

Tomorrow there is a protest organized by the peasants with which they ask the government to release the people who are arrested and the quit the order to arrest other peasants, as well as giving the lands to the people that is the reason why this all happened. Not to mention the political interests behind this all...

The situation is very tense and uncertain. Originally, nothing should happen because the idea is just to manifest peacefully. Yet, the military is already taking position and there are reasons to believe that this can get a little bit dangerous.

Now, The reason I post this is because in this moment I can't really see myself objectively concerning this situation. I don't know what is truly the best for me.

On one hand, I want to go because it is experience in something I like which is photography and specially photojournalism. I don't think I could actually help in the process because it is politics and we have the same snakes in power here as everywhere else. So, I don't think taking some photos can change something. Nevertheless it is a local independent journal that asked me to go and I like the idea of helping them in some way.

On the other hand, I'm scared and I don't want to be in risk. But I also don't want to stop doing something just because I'm afraid....

So I don't know if I should do the effort, overcome my fear and go to help this journal and to acquire some experience.... Do something that can change my life in some way... Or if I should say that sometimes courage is just to be stupid... And this might be stupid if I'm putting my life in risk (that would be an extreme) or see other people die which I don't know if I am ready to experience.

I interested in knowing what you think. Maybe this is not of great interest but I think that, as we apply the Work in our life, it is in this kind of decision that we choose important things that can push us forward in some way or just make us go backward or get lost.

I read in this forum that it is by getting out of our comfort zone when we can really learn. But I don't know if this would be the case where I can get out of my comfort zone. So... what do you think???

I don't really know if you will be able to answer because of the time. Most of you might be sleeping. But if somebody wants to give me some advice, it will be very appreciated. And this can also be an opportunity to learn something about myself. Of course.

That's all I guess....

Thanks for reading!

 

[Lilou]

Hi Acid Yazz. Traveling to a unfamiliar location, in the midst of an uprising, without having support from local friends and family, I would say it is a huge risk. Being female would add more danger to the equation, OSIT.

I recall a young women from the United States, who traveled to "help" the local people during the aparteid uprising in South Africa. She was gunned down by the very people she was their to help, simply because she was blond haired and therefore seen as the enemy. That example is extreme, but people are crazy when emotions run high.

So for me, I wouldn't step quite that far outside my comfort zone. I also wouldn't want to witness any death, it is very traumatic. And I certainly wouldn't feel guilty about being afraid, I would say you are being smart!

My 2 cents.

 

[Paragon]

Hi Acid Yazz!,

I think that is good you have recognised the dangers in going and also the limitation of fear that prevents us from doing things. But certain things are to be feared for a good reason and in this specific example you give, I'm not sure you are being objective about this. OSIT

You mention the military is already 'taking position'. Does this mean that effectively you will be heading into a situation whereby the possibility of being injured or arrested will occur? And what does the independent journal that has asked you to go, think about putting you in the 'front line' so to speak? Do you want to take the risk of being injured or worse? What kind of protection, if any, will be on hand for media types? I think a tad more information would help :)

I may be off here, and I'm sure that someone else will chip in and offer help!

 

[mkrnhr]

Hello Acid Yazz,
From what you describe, the situation looks very risky. Usually photojournalists rely on local network for security, and for escape in case things get ugly. An sometimes, even an official press accreditation does not protect in case one is arrested. We sometimes what to help but there are many different ways to help, and times to do so. It requires strategy and trusting instinct in case of danger. OSIT

 

[Buddy]

Acid Yazz, judging by your descriptions, it just sounds to me like you have a much clearer idea of why you shouldn't go then of why you should.

 

[Yas]

Thanks for your answers!

Hi Acid Yazz!,

I think that is good you have recognised the dangers in going and also the limitation of fear that prevents us from doing things. But certain things are to be feared for a good reason and in this specific example you give, I'm not sure you are being objective about this. OSIT

You mention the military is already 'taking position'. Does this mean that effectively you will be heading into a situation whereby the possibility of being injured or arrested will occur? And what does the independent journal that has asked you to go, think about putting you in the 'front line' so to speak? Do you want to take the risk of being injured or worse? What kind of protection, if any, will be on hand for media types? I think a tad more information would help :)

I may be off here, and I'm sure that someone else will chip in and offer help!

I mentioned that I couldn't see myself objectively... That's why I asked for advice. :)

I said that the military is 'taking position' because they have been called to the bases, and some to the place where this things are happening, 'just in case' they are needed... I think this is a big movement for a pacific protest. And it happens a lot around here that there are infiltrated people amongst the protesters who 'start' the violence in order to set a scene that is usually wanted by the snakes who are in power here. So, basically I believe this whole thing is just responding to higher interests and honest people are just being used so they can get what they want. But this is another analysis we can speak about in another post. And is just the usual thing that happens all around the globe.

But yes, If i decided to go I would be heading to a place where I could be injured, more probably than arrested or killed....

To answer to your questions about protection... There is no protection guaranteed as I would be going with just another pair of other 'kids' who work for the journal and we would be on our own. Yet, there are other journalists in the place, of course. And when this things happen, most of the journalists get together and protect each other.

But as Buddy said:

Acid Yazz, judging by your descriptions, it just sounds to me like you have a much clearer idea of why you shouldn't go then of why you should.

Once more you have read me well...

Deeply inside I felt that I shouldn't go. My 'rational' mind, so to say, was telling me the reasons why I shouldn't. So, actually, I decided not to go.

So... problem solved! ;)

YET.... I would like to go deeper in this IF that if OK with you....

I realized some time ago that I have this feeling (program) of not wanting to loose any opportunity. This comes from a very young age already but I can't recall exactly when it started. I would suffer a lot, for example, if I couldn't go to eat with my classmates on Fridays (they used to eat all together on Fridays), but not because I REALLY enjoyed going, just because I didn't want to miss anything, in a way, I wanted to know everything that was going on. lol I know it may sound silly, but, when I realized I had this 'not wanting to miss anything' feeling which made me feel really anxious, I remembered it as the first times I felt that.

So. I don't know where it comes from, but it has governed me for sometime already. I have been a lot of times in moments where I had to chose to do or not to do, and I finally anded up doing something that wasn't really beneficial to me only because I COULDN'T miss the opportunity of trying it.

When I realized this it was really a revelation for me. From that day I started fighting it and I think it is almost not active anymore, but it is still there, as I can see now.

The anxiety of going, put apart my will to help, was coming from this 'I don't want to miss this opportunity, I don't want to miss anything' 'program, rationalizing it: 'because I can LEARN from this experience'. [If I don't get killed... lol]

I also noticed another feeling (program) that is the one of 'fighting with my brothers against the evil'... lol I felt that I had to go, because this people who I know are going and they are also going to be at risk, so I should stand on their side and help them, somehow.

This is also a feeling that I have since I can remember myself. I ALWAYS wanted to protect other people by standing myself in front of the danger (evil), so the other person wouldn't suffer. I don't know where it comes from either. I remember though that my mother was really aggressive and violent so when she was nervous and angry at us she used to hit us. And when this happened to my brother (and it happened quite a lot because he failed a lot at school), I would get between them and end up being kicked myself so my brother could run away.

Now, I don't know if what I'm going to say is nonsense, but my mind is making a connection at this precise moment so I think it is a good moment to share it. In 'RAW format'.

I remember that I always expected my brother to do the same thing for me. To stand by my side facing injustice (I felt that parents kicking their children was a HUGE injustice). But my brother never did this. He never protected me in other occasions either. In fact, he would get on my mother's side most of the time when there was a fight between us and even -sometimes- help her in making me feel as bad as possible.

This made me feel VERY frustrated. I am kind of feeling it back now that I'm making this connection so I guess it is something that I should heal. I felt betrayed because I loved my brother so much that I would do anything to protect him and I wanted so bad to be as important to him as he was for me. It really made me feel very angry, sad, etc. Nevertheless I kept doing the same thing, anyway, until I manged to convince my mother that it REALLY wasn't a good thing to use violence against children and that she should stop it because it was hurting us in deep ways. :)
(I even threatened to contact UNICEF in some occasions [a little bit of an exaggerated reaction, I guess, because It wasn't THAT terrible] ... lol)

So... the connection I made -which I don't know if is a correct one- is that, maybe this 'program' of "fighting with and for my 'brothers'" has its roots in this, somehow...

Well, I guess I'll stop here and try to sleep a little bit because tomorrow is EE day and I do it early in the morning with my dad before he goes to work. And... I think I will need it after this.... ;)

I'm sorry this got so long and thanks for reading.

Good day for everybody!

 

[luc]

Thank you for sharing, Acid Yazz, your post was very helpful for me in terms of seeing some things more clearly.

So. I don't know where it comes from, but it has governed me for sometime already. I have been a lot of times in moments where I had to chose to do or not to do, and I finally anded up doing something that wasn't really beneficial to me only because I COULDN'T miss the opportunity of trying it.

When I realized this it was really a revelation for me. From that day I started fighting it and I think it is almost not active anymore, but it is still there, as I can see now.

This has been similar for me for a long time. I was jumping on every opportunity, always saying "yes", thinking I can learn from everything or get "excitement" without ever taking decisions. Now I realize that if you just go where the wind blows you, always saying yes, it becomes impossible to REALLY say yes, to REALLY take a decision FOR something - be it a partner, a project, an aim, etc. and most especially everything connected to the Work.

And for me too, I think it started in school, where I always felt abit unsecure and "not accepted enough" and felt I had to take every opportunity to be part of a group, be with the cool people. Still struggling with this program sometimes... fwiw

 

[Nienna]

Acid Yazz, ultimately, the choice is yours, of course. What I have noticed here in the US is that photojournalists are targeted by the authorities because they want to pictures to show what really was going on. A lot only had their cameras confiscated. But some have been beaten.

I think that if you go, you will be truly putting yourself at risk. Moreso because you would be recording the events that happen.

fwiw

 

[Paragon]

Sometimes when we have a situation and an important one for a decision to be made, we tend to rationalise things according to how we view ourselves I.e our false personality and programmes and what's 'good' for them. Are you sure you want to put yourself in that position of risk? Perhaps the lesson here is to become more aware of the dangers of 3D and to not let your programmes run you? What do you value more? Your 'feeling' (programme) of not wanting to 'miss out' or your own safety?

Perhaps there is another way of expressing your feelings of in justness, like helping here at SOTT on an article or developing your self further I.e the work. Something creative that will help more people than travelling to a dangerous location where other journalists shall be there, recording the event anyway. I am in no way trying to knock your empathy, since it's really quite lacking in this world as it is, but to help you see more creative and useful expressions of your humanity :)

These are just possible alternatives to your situation however, as Nienna Eluch said, the choice is totally up to you. :)

 

[Yas]

Sometimes when we have a situation and an important one for a decision to be made, we tend to rationalise things according to how we view ourselves I.e our false personality and programmes and what's 'good' for them. Are you sure you want to put yourself in that position of risk? Perhaps the lesson here is to become more aware of the dangers of 3D and to not let your programmes run you? What do you value more? Your 'feeling' (programme) of not wanting to 'miss out' or your own safety?

Perhaps there is another way of expressing your feelings of in justness, like helping here at SOTT on an article or developing your self further I.e the work. Something creative that will help more people than travelling to a dangerous location where other journalists shall be there, recording the event anyway. I am in no way trying to knock your empathy, since it's really quite lacking in this world as it is, but to help you see more creative and useful expressions of your humanity :)

These are just possible alternatives to your situation however, as Nienna Eluch said, the choice is totally up to you. :)

I completely agree with you. Which is why I decided not to go, but then I realized some deeper aspects about my self that were triggered by this situation. This is written above.

I totally need to help SOTT and do The Work on myself because I 'need' to express this feelings of justness and my deep wish for understanding the reality in which I exist now.... I have the feeling this is vital for me, so I am starting to be as active as I can in this aspect.

Yet. I guess it happens to everyone... The situation my country is passing through at this precise moment is activating a lot of 'programs' and I have to be very cautious and stay calm, because I can feel all the tension affecting me. I'm feeling a mix of fear, anxiety, uncertainty and the 'desire to do something' and also the feeling that 'I can't do anything because this things just happen and I don't have the power to change them'.

So I want to stay calm and observe objectively... Try not to be so influenced by all this stress coming through my machine right now. And by doing this, maybe I can help Sott and others in the sense of informing as objectively as possible.

People are coming from everywhere to the capital to a big protest because the President is about to be judged and other snakes in power want him out of the government. There are lots of emotions floating around and I have always been sensitive to 'environment emotions' as I used to call them. The USA ambassador is visiting the USA base in the Chaco Region... something that never happened before (at least publicly).

I didn't do my EE session today. Because I woke up already with all this news alerts in my computer... I think it will be helpful if I do it ASAP... :)

I guess the 4D STS beings are about to have a great meal here today. :( I don't want to be part of that meal....

Well. I'm sorry if this got too emotional. As I said, I'm trying to stay calm, get information about what's going on and analyze the circumstances.

Thank you all for the advices and support.

 

[Paragon]

Sometimes when we have a situation and an important one for a decision to be made, we tend to rationalise things according to how we view ourselves I.e our false personality and programmes and what's 'good' for them. Are you sure you want to put yourself in that position of risk? Perhaps the lesson here is to become more aware of the dangers of 3D and to not let your programmes run you? What do you value more? Your 'feeling' (programme) of not wanting to 'miss out' or your own safety?

Perhaps there is another way of expressing your feelings of in justness, like helping here at SOTT on an article or developing your self further I.e the work. Something creative that will help more people than travelling to a dangerous location where other journalists shall be there, recording the event anyway. I am in no way trying to knock your empathy, since it's really quite lacking in this world as it is, but to help you see more creative and useful expressions of your humanity :)

These are just possible alternatives to your situation however, as Nienna Eluch said, the choice is totally up to you. :)

I completely agree with you. Which is why I decided not to go, but then I realized some deeper aspects about my self that were triggered by this situation. This is written above.

I totally need to help SOTT and do The Work on myself because I 'need' to express this feelings of justness and my deep wish for understanding the reality in which I exist now.... I have the feeling this is vital for me, so I am starting to be as active as I can in this aspect.

Yet. I guess it happens to everyone... The situation my country is passing through at this precise moment is activating a lot of 'programs' and I have to be very cautious and stay calm, because I can feel all the tension affecting me. I'm feeling a mix of fear, anxiety, uncertainty and the 'desire to do something' and also the feeling that 'I can't do anything because this things just happen and I don't have the power to change them'.

So I want to stay calm and observe objectively... Try not to be so influenced by all this stress coming through my machine right now. And by doing this, maybe I can help Sott and others in the sense of informing as objectively as possible.

People are coming from everywhere to the capital to a big protest because the President is about to be judged and other snakes in power want him out of the government. There are lots of emotions floating around and I have always been sensitive to 'environment emotions' as I used to call them. The USA ambassador is visiting the USA base in the Chaco Region... something that never happened before (at least publicly).

I didn't do my EE session today. Because I woke up already with all this news alerts in my computer... I think it will be helpful if I do it ASAP... :)

I guess the 4D STS beings are about to have a great meal here today. :( I don't want to be part of that meal....

Well. I'm sorry if this got too emotional. As I said, I'm trying to stay calm, get information about what's going on and analyze the circumstances.

Thank you all for the advices and support.

So it looks like this been fruitful for yourself in work terms, discovering deeper aspects of your self :)

I also have this 'feeling' and I find that it definitely helps to contribute in some way here, because if not, then that energy will be co-opted by the control system if one isn't sufficiently aware of it I.e you may channel it into seemingly benevolent causes, when objectively you are being used as a pawn by those at the very top. I think my point is that when we express our creative potential so that it is useful in an objective sense, the universe responds and helps you in turn :) I hope that comes across well lol.

Yeah this 'environmental fear' is something to really watch out for as this is part of the control system. I don't mean be afraid of the fear, but rather try to see what is really going on, research and cross reference that with what you have learned here about the matrix etc, so that you will have a more objective understanding of how it all works to trap you into a certain 'frequency'. So as to regards this aspect, EE and dietary discipline realllyyy works! It removes the physiological and emotional toxins and free's up energy for more important work. :)

Also it's not really up to us to 'change' this world per se, it's more about working towards our own destinies and being the force for STO in this world. Obviously that means we are 'against' STS, but it's more a case of showing the universe who you really are and contributing towards that aim, of creative expression and being a 'role model' if you like. The universe will respond in turn :)

And do not worry about coming across too emotionally, you didn't, and even if you did, we are all here to help and that is the main thing.

So be good to yourself and try not to let the environmental stress get to you, I know what it feels like too, but I've become more able to 'switch' it off. Hopefully you can take something from that! :)

 

[Average Joe]

I was in the news business for many years as a technician. I was sent into a lot of dangerous situations where my personal safety was of little concern to those I worked for. I was young and stupid at the time, and didn't know any better, so I went.
I didn't take long for me to realize that the only thing I could rely on was my own common sense. When a reporter wanted me to drive the truck into a town where there was a drunken gunman shooting up the place, I simply said no. The story was still reported on and I got to go home in one piece. In the end it made no difference.
When I eventually wised up to the fact that the news business was nothing more than alarmist fear mongering, I got out of it altogether. Publicizing conflict and violence only generates fear and insecurity in the general population (which is the intent). It rarely, if ever, does anything to resolve the conflict itself, or prevent the same thing from happening again. So what's the use?
Fear mongering provides a lot of free lunches for the lizzies, it's one of their main meal tickets. Why contribute to the gravy train?
I tell you what, ask the local newspaper why they wouldn't want pictures of flowers and puppies instead of death and destruction. Then you'll find out why they would send someone into a potentially fatal circumstance for a few pictures.

 

[Buddy]

Now, I don't know if what I'm going to say is nonsense, but my mind is making a connection at this precise moment so I think it is a good moment to share it. In 'RAW format'.

I remember that I always expected my brother to do the same thing for me. To stand by my side facing injustice (I felt that parents kicking their children was a HUGE injustice). But my brother never did this. He never protected me in other occasions either. In fact, he would get on my mother's side most of the time when there was a fight between us and even -sometimes- help her in making me feel as bad as possible.

This made me feel VERY frustrated. I am kind of feeling it back now that I'm making this connection so I guess it is something that I should heal. I felt betrayed because I loved my brother so much that I would do anything to protect him and I wanted so bad to be as important to him as he was for me. It really made me feel very angry, sad, etc. Nevertheless I kept doing the same thing, anyway, until I manged to convince my mother that it REALLY wasn't a good thing to use violence against children and that she should stop it because it was hurting us in deep ways. :)
(I even threatened to contact UNICEF in some occasions [a little bit of an exaggerated reaction, I guess, because It wasn't THAT terrible] ... lol)

So... the connection I made -which I don't know if is a correct one- is that, maybe this 'program' of "fighting with and for my 'brothers'" has its roots in this, somehow...

This may be a partial description of the program. Do you remember in the Wave where Laura mentions Barbara De Angelis' work in the context of describing programs in the realm of "love relationships"? I can't find or access the link to the online version ATM, but a general principle I got from this is how our beliefs can determine, not only what we see and don't see, but the actions we take in the pursuit of the emotions which stimulate us.

Maybe worth re-reading even if you're already familiar with it?

[...]
These are just possible alternatives to your situation however, as Nienna Eluch said, the choice is totally up to you. :)

I completely agree with you. Which is why I decided not to go, but then I realized some deeper aspects about my self that were triggered by this situation. This is written above.

I totally need to help SOTT and do The Work on myself because I 'need' to express this feelings of justness and my deep wish for understanding the reality in which I exist now.... I have the feeling this is vital for me, so I am starting to be as active as I can in this aspect.

Yet. I guess it happens to everyone... The situation my country is passing through at this precise moment is activating a lot of 'programs' and I have to be very cautious and stay calm, because I can feel all the tension affecting me. I'm feeling a mix of fear, anxiety, uncertainty and the 'desire to do something' and also the feeling that 'I can't do anything because this things just happen and I don't have the power to change them'.

So I want to stay calm and observe objectively... Try not to be so influenced by all this stress coming through my machine right now. And by doing this, maybe I can help Sott and others in the sense of informing as objectively as possible.

People are coming from everywhere to the capital to a big protest because the President is about to be judged and other snakes in power want him out of the government. There are lots of emotions floating around and I have always been sensitive to 'environment emotions' as I used to call them. The USA ambassador is visiting the USA base in the Chaco Region... something that never happened before (at least publicly).

I didn't do my EE session today. Because I woke up already with all this news alerts in my computer... I think it will be helpful if I do it ASAP... :)

I guess the 4D STS beings are about to have a great meal here today. :( I don't want to be part of that meal....

Well. I'm sorry if this got too emotional. As I said, I'm trying to stay calm, get information about what's going on and analyze the circumstances.

Thank you all for the advices and support.

That I know of, there's no harm or shame in simply being an historical recorder of objective facts without putting yourself in harm's way. That's what our own "rolls" (G) are doing now even if we're not paying attention, OSIT. In our personal Work its how we can observe what we are objectively recording on those rolls when we're doing that exercise, in G's terms, of 'one center observing another'.

Allow your EE practice to help you process emotions. :)

 

[cry to emptyness]

Hi Acid Yazz

As i understand it, you are in Bolivia or somewhere in Latin America. Very bad to hear about the massacre.

If you go there try to stay as much safe as it could be to catch a good shot. Goodluck ;)

Publicizing conflict and violence only generates fear and insecurity in the general population (which is the intent). It rarely, if ever, does anything to resolve the conflict itself, or prevent the same thing from happening again. So what's the use?
Fear mongering provides a lot of free lunches for the lizzies, it's one of their main meal tickets. Why contribute to the gravy train?

Sure mainstream media is there to brainwash your children, thats not bad at all, one day they may see thru.

We need to know news (stuff) solely to be prepared for what awaits us out there.

Fear is something you create yourself in my opinion.

 

[pstott]

It seems to me that demonstrations are generally lacking in positive results. Police NEVER give in to public demands, and the government seldom does either (unless there is a serious possibility of them losing funding or an election).

Demonstrations give police the opportunity to take YOUR picture and put you on a list. It also gives them an opportunity for violence, arrests etc.

IMO if you do go to photograph such events, it would be best done from a great distance, using a telephoto lens, so that the police have no opportunity for these things, and so you can stay safe and off their lists. Disguising yourself as male may also be something to consider.