Need some time alone..
- Thread starter Meager1
- Start date
ScarletBegonias
Dagobah Resident
So sorry to hear, Meager1. My condolences to you. 
H
Hildegarda
Guest
Meager1, please accept my condolences. Losing your loved one to cancer is so hard. Take all the time in the world. You have our unwavering support.
Meager1
Dagobah Resident
Thanks everybody for the condolences, I appreciate it very much.
It`s been a tough time.
We all knew it was coming, he had been fighting a losing battle for a year or so.
It`s just that your never ready for this, you know what I mean.
The last week, everyone knew it was the last week, and we had the time for the "love you`s" and the last goodbye.. which really helped. He died peacefully at home.
Five minutes before, he was dancing a Popsicle to music on the radio and making everyone laugh, then he handed the Popsicle to his wife and said, I`m so tired, I`m going home now, bye
I love you. And that was it. No struggle, nothing. He just stopped breathing.
Later, I was outside on the deck having a cigarette, and I heard his voice clear as day, say. "so this is what`s it`s like".. and I said, yeah I guess so.
The next day, I was going to the florist to order flowers and I heard him again.
He said, "I know everybody is sad and all, but it doesn`t come through to here, like that".
And that's all he said, and since then just similar "one liners" every once in awhile.
I know it`s nuts and is undoubtedly my imagination, but jeez it sounds exactly like him, and it`s so damn good to think he`s ok, somewhere!
My step daughter who grew up with him, took 20 Adavant and was in the ICU for the funeral.
She`ll be ok. I went to see her and she said she had taken two and dropped the bottle on the floor, then just started picking them up and putting them into her mouth.
She said she wasn`t trying to hurt herself, she just wanted to sleep.
She`s home and ok now, but she will have to have some councling and work through things. We`ll all help her,where we can.
There were many beautiful moments too though.
We had full police escort to the cemetery and police guard standing at attention, at the gate. I actually liked the town cops, for a minute there!
He was a pilot and some friends flew over the service, tipping their wings,and flying spirals. My other brothers held up white roses to them, as they flew away.
My niece has a beautiful voice and she sang a song for him at the grave site, and then we all released balloons.
And there is a tree nearby, that will be loaded with prayer ties by the end of the week!
He was such a beautiful person, and it`s just so hard, to say goodbye.
Talking about it helps me though, so thanks for listening.
It`s been a tough time.
We all knew it was coming, he had been fighting a losing battle for a year or so.
It`s just that your never ready for this, you know what I mean.
The last week, everyone knew it was the last week, and we had the time for the "love you`s" and the last goodbye.. which really helped. He died peacefully at home.
Five minutes before, he was dancing a Popsicle to music on the radio and making everyone laugh, then he handed the Popsicle to his wife and said, I`m so tired, I`m going home now, bye
I love you. And that was it. No struggle, nothing. He just stopped breathing.
Later, I was outside on the deck having a cigarette, and I heard his voice clear as day, say. "so this is what`s it`s like".. and I said, yeah I guess so.
The next day, I was going to the florist to order flowers and I heard him again.
He said, "I know everybody is sad and all, but it doesn`t come through to here, like that".
And that's all he said, and since then just similar "one liners" every once in awhile.
I know it`s nuts and is undoubtedly my imagination, but jeez it sounds exactly like him, and it`s so damn good to think he`s ok, somewhere!
My step daughter who grew up with him, took 20 Adavant and was in the ICU for the funeral.
She`ll be ok. I went to see her and she said she had taken two and dropped the bottle on the floor, then just started picking them up and putting them into her mouth.
She said she wasn`t trying to hurt herself, she just wanted to sleep.
She`s home and ok now, but she will have to have some councling and work through things. We`ll all help her,where we can.
There were many beautiful moments too though.
We had full police escort to the cemetery and police guard standing at attention, at the gate. I actually liked the town cops, for a minute there!
He was a pilot and some friends flew over the service, tipping their wings,and flying spirals. My other brothers held up white roses to them, as they flew away.
My niece has a beautiful voice and she sang a song for him at the grave site, and then we all released balloons.
And there is a tree nearby, that will be loaded with prayer ties by the end of the week!
He was such a beautiful person, and it`s just so hard, to say goodbye.
Talking about it helps me though, so thanks for listening.
Attachments
Thanks for the update and sharing your deep feelings, Meager1. Take care of yourself and those around you. Thanks for the photo of your dear brother. May he rest in peace.
And the forum is here if you need anything. :)
And the forum is here if you need anything. :)
Thanks for shearing Meager1. That brought tears to my eyes.
I don't know what to say other than that I also think he's doing well. I wish all my support and strength to you and your family.
I once wrote this poem, and I thought I'd share this with you too:
A true friend who came and went,
but chose to never leave the heart, home.
Living endlessly in character,
in the memories we chose to cherish.
Our separate journeys continue,
and once, as eternity permits,
we will meet again. And rejoice.
We would feel like we never even left each other.
And maybe we didn't.
Big hugs to you Meager1!
I don't know what to say other than that I also think he's doing well. I wish all my support and strength to you and your family.
I once wrote this poem, and I thought I'd share this with you too:
A true friend who came and went,
but chose to never leave the heart, home.
Living endlessly in character,
in the memories we chose to cherish.
Our separate journeys continue,
and once, as eternity permits,
we will meet again. And rejoice.
We would feel like we never even left each other.
And maybe we didn't.
Big hugs to you Meager1!
Meager1 said:
It's precious that you had this time to say goodbyes, Meager, and that he left this world so peacefully. I have no doubt that your brother is better where he is. I hope your stepdaughter finds some understanding too. Thank you for sharing, and for the picture
Meager1
Dagobah Resident
Thank you everyone, the support is very appreciated and Oxajil that is a beautiful poem thank you for sharing it. We have all lost loved ones, good people, that we will always miss and wish were still here with us. And hard as it is, life goes on, they wouldn`t want us to mourn forever.
My little brother was incredible, he knew that his time was short, yet he really wasn`t morose, or depressed and feeling sorry for himself as much as some of us would have done.
When he was still feeling pretty good, he made a series of video tapes for everybody.
He was all dressed up in a suit and tie, and all cheerful and upbeat in the one he made for us.
It started out, with him saying "well, if your watching this, I`m probably not, then he smiled and made the motion with two fingers to his eyes and outward, and said but I`m watching you, so don`t think you`ll get away with anything"!
He made a point of saying how much he loved everybody and that he had no regrets, that his life was a good one and that he wanted us to celebrate his life, and not cry.
He had courage, that's for sure!
He made a video of himself reading children's books, for the grand kids he`ll never know, but he wanted them to at least see him and hear his voice.
I don`t think there was much he didn`t think of, or do, while he could!
Last week I went to check on an elderly gentleman down the street, who I help with his animals or shop for him, whatever he needs, anyway I found him on the bathroom floor and waited with him until the EMT`s arrived to help get him up. He wasn`t hurt, but the EMT`s said that his legs were very swollen from diabetes, and they wanted him to go to the E.R and get checked out, the poor old guy ended up being hospitalized for four days, while they got his fluid levels back down again.
Two days after that, my Mom was in the E.R on a heart monitor, and hospitalized for three days, they had to give her injections of tranquilizers and knock her out because she hadn`t eaten or slept for days and probably "would" have given herself a heart attack, if she hadn`t been tranquilized. She`s home and doing well, now to.
A week or so ago, the same happened to me.
I was in the E.R on the heart contraptions to, because my heart was beating out of chest, then it would just stop, then race and then stop again.
It was horrid, they didn`t keep me there though,they let me go home, telling me that it was most likely all stress related and advised that I see a heart specialist, but it straightened itself out and I`m ok to.
So it`s been a very trying time to say the least.. and I guess that old saying is probably true, it doesn`t just rain, it pours!.
I haven`t heard anymore from my brother lately, but I expected that would be the case.
I only heard what I needed to hear, and that`s enough, until we meet again.
My little brother was incredible, he knew that his time was short, yet he really wasn`t morose, or depressed and feeling sorry for himself as much as some of us would have done.
When he was still feeling pretty good, he made a series of video tapes for everybody.
He was all dressed up in a suit and tie, and all cheerful and upbeat in the one he made for us.
It started out, with him saying "well, if your watching this, I`m probably not, then he smiled and made the motion with two fingers to his eyes and outward, and said but I`m watching you, so don`t think you`ll get away with anything"!
He made a point of saying how much he loved everybody and that he had no regrets, that his life was a good one and that he wanted us to celebrate his life, and not cry.
He had courage, that's for sure!
He made a video of himself reading children's books, for the grand kids he`ll never know, but he wanted them to at least see him and hear his voice.
I don`t think there was much he didn`t think of, or do, while he could!
Last week I went to check on an elderly gentleman down the street, who I help with his animals or shop for him, whatever he needs, anyway I found him on the bathroom floor and waited with him until the EMT`s arrived to help get him up. He wasn`t hurt, but the EMT`s said that his legs were very swollen from diabetes, and they wanted him to go to the E.R and get checked out, the poor old guy ended up being hospitalized for four days, while they got his fluid levels back down again.
Two days after that, my Mom was in the E.R on a heart monitor, and hospitalized for three days, they had to give her injections of tranquilizers and knock her out because she hadn`t eaten or slept for days and probably "would" have given herself a heart attack, if she hadn`t been tranquilized. She`s home and doing well, now to.
A week or so ago, the same happened to me.
I was in the E.R on the heart contraptions to, because my heart was beating out of chest, then it would just stop, then race and then stop again.
It was horrid, they didn`t keep me there though,they let me go home, telling me that it was most likely all stress related and advised that I see a heart specialist, but it straightened itself out and I`m ok to.
So it`s been a very trying time to say the least.. and I guess that old saying is probably true, it doesn`t just rain, it pours!.
I haven`t heard anymore from my brother lately, but I expected that would be the case.
I only heard what I needed to hear, and that`s enough, until we meet again.
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