Thank you everyone, the support is very appreciated and Oxajil that is a beautiful poem thank you for sharing it. We have all lost loved ones, good people, that we will always miss and wish were still here with us. And hard as it is, life goes on, they wouldn`t want us to mourn forever.
My little brother was incredible, he knew that his time was short, yet he really wasn`t morose, or depressed and feeling sorry for himself as much as some of us would have done.
When he was still feeling pretty good, he made a series of video tapes for everybody.
He was all dressed up in a suit and tie, and all cheerful and upbeat in the one he made for us.
It started out, with him saying "well, if your watching this, I`m probably not, then he smiled and made the motion with two fingers to his eyes and outward, and said but I`m watching you, so don`t think you`ll get away with anything"!
He made a point of saying how much he loved everybody and that he had no regrets, that his life was a good one and that he wanted us to celebrate his life, and not cry.
He had courage, that's for sure!
He made a video of himself reading children's books, for the grand kids he`ll never know, but he wanted them to at least see him and hear his voice.
I don`t think there was much he didn`t think of, or do, while he could!
Last week I went to check on an elderly gentleman down the street, who I help with his animals or shop for him, whatever he needs, anyway I found him on the bathroom floor and waited with him until the EMT`s arrived to help get him up. He wasn`t hurt, but the EMT`s said that his legs were very swollen from diabetes, and they wanted him to go to the E.R and get checked out, the poor old guy ended up being hospitalized for four days, while they got his fluid levels back down again.
Two days after that, my Mom was in the E.R on a heart monitor, and hospitalized for three days, they had to give her injections of tranquilizers and knock her out because she hadn`t eaten or slept for days and probably "would" have given herself a heart attack, if she hadn`t been tranquilized. She`s home and doing well, now to.
A week or so ago, the same happened to me.
I was in the E.R on the heart contraptions to, because my heart was beating out of chest, then it would just stop, then race and then stop again.
It was horrid, they didn`t keep me there though,they let me go home, telling me that it was most likely all stress related and advised that I see a heart specialist, but it straightened itself out and I`m ok to.
So it`s been a very trying time to say the least.. and I guess that old saying is probably true, it doesn`t just rain, it pours!.
I haven`t heard anymore from my brother lately, but I expected that would be the case.
I only heard what I needed to hear, and that`s enough, until we meet again.