Need to Get Some Stuff off my Chest

[Nienna]

Hi All,

This is something that I just have to write down to, sort of, get it off my chest, so to speak.

Every day, as many of you do, I go to the Signs page and read, or skim as the case may be, the articles there as I cast my vote for each one. And lately, the last 3 or 4 days, my mind has become…..I don't know, numb, overwhelmed, horrified.

As I read each article, I become less and less able to put my feelings into words. I am left speechless over and over and over. I start to write a comment, and find that the words just won't form.

The atrocities being committed, the violence, the uncaring acts of psychopaths and the people who are carrying out these actions, the preaching of an ex-military officer praising a god that not only accepts war, destruction and despair, but actively orders its
followers to pursue this type of activity, and praises these actions, are horrifying to say the least.

And the worse part is that almost everyone in the U.S. has adapted to this kind of thinking. They all see nothing wrong with it. Yeah, I know, ponerization to the max.

Then you read the blogs that are out there and you see these brainwashed, ponerized people spreading this filth and infecting
thousands of others with it. The average person not being affected by all of what's going on in the world. Hey, it's not happening to them, so why get all riled up about it. And what's wrong with killing a few ragheads who don't want the democracy that is being gifted to them, anyway. It's like I am in such a deep sorrow and depression that I just can't get myself out of it.

How do you fight against something like this? And it's not only the U.S. anymore. You see it EVERYWHERE now. There is not a country that hasn't, or isn't in the process of being ponerized. GOD! My very soul is crying.

The futility of the situation has hit me full in the face. The pathocracy twists and distorts everything that is written to try to
wake the people up. They hide the truth in lies. And nobody is the wiser. Nobody can see the writing on the wall. See that what is
happening to the Iraqis, the Afganistanis, and a million others is going to be happening to them if things are left to pursue the course that they are on.

It seems that the programming that the C's talked about is just about complete. It all makes me wonder if there really is any hope.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get some stuff out. To let it flow. Maybe it will get things going again for me.

 

[Azur]

You see it EVERYWHERE now.

Actually, it's been like this for a VERY long time.

Maybe you are realizing, or seeing it "everywhere" just now?

And this next, is offered gently: I hope you do not recover you ability to "let words flow" in the context you mention. Maybe they were just an automatic response within a constrained perception to begin with. (Only you know what feeds the need to write anything).

Expressing outrage has many facets, but ultimately has a one root for every outburst. Outrage can be expressed with the unconscious want to garner attention of others, sometimes objectively as a warning, and other times as a personal safety mechanism for the psyche. Safety in numbers that others see it too, even when they do not do anything, may create a false comfort zone. In short, a "buffer".

Getting it "off your chest" is an action that is normally undertaken as a way to absolve oneself from confronting unreconciled internal turmoil, usually. Do you know why you did so?

These are thoughts that came to me....


Cheers.

 

[CarpeDiem]

Safety in numbers that others see it too, even when they do not do anything, may create a false comfort zone. In short, a "buffer".

i have to admit i don't understand this phrase, but i feel what you just wrote is something very important to understand, osit. Azur, could you please explain what you mean in other words?

 

[Azur]

Safety in numbers that others see it too, even when they do not do anything, may create a false comfort zone. In short, a "buffer".

i have to admit i don't understand this phrase, but i feel what you just wrote is something very important to understand, osit. Azur, could you please explain what you mean in other words?

What I mean by this is that the unease that lead many to search out to find answers outside of "normal" realms of common thought (as, for example, those that end up here), may at first be eased by simply seeing that it is a shared feeling. And thus lies a subtle trap by associative acknowledgment: that others have searched beyond where many, many others do not, and therefore it is a validation of sorts.

That those lead to quest, go afield, and consider as real possibilities such (usually unacceptable) strange concepts as hyperdimensional physics, and beings of said realms, extra-luminary communication, intra-human (genetic) predators, etc., does not in any way insulate them from sighing in relief that there are others who also acknowledge the possibility, and by extension "someone is doing something about it". The latter feeling that "someone else is doing something about it" might bring comfort, and push away, or mask or bury the catalyst of what made them search in the first place, and essentially provide a more subtle avenue to "go back to sleep".

This existence, seen as an impossible war (by some), appears to be thus only because of the perception used to observe. But it isn't an external war at the very root of it, no matter the surface appearance.

It is very much an internal one.


Cheers.

 

[Alana]

Expressing outrage has many facets, but ultimately has a one root for every outburst. Outrage can be expressed with the unconscious want to garner attention of others, sometimes objectively as a warning, and other times as a personal safety mechanism for the psyche.

Hi Azur. I personaly don't see where you saw that Lynne was expressing outrage. I read it that Lynne was expressing deep sadness and a feeling of hopelesness. And i don't think is a good idea to create generalizations regarding how one is expressing outrage and what the reasons behind might be. Each situation has a different context, and is like what Laura says "there is good, there is evil, and there is situation that determines which is which".

Safety in numbers that others see it too, even when they do not do anything, may create a false comfort zone. In short, a "buffer".

I would disagree here. Becoming aware that others also see what one is seeing, that others feel the way one does, went through the same experiences, etc, is one of the ways to heal division among human beings in this world, and heal individual souls. In group therapy, when people start sharing their inner world and discover the similarities they share, it is the first and most important step of therapy. It takes one out of the isolated secrecy imposed on him/her by the predators mind and brings him/her closer to other people. A sharing of heart is the way towards unification. And it is definitely a STO thing, because by honestly sharing their inner world, both the person sharing and the receptor of this share are gaining, usualy a part of themselves - OSIT.

Getting it "off your chest" is an action that is normally undertaken as a way to absolve oneself from confronting unreconciled internal turmoil, usually. Do you know why you did so?

Azur, i don't understand what you are saying here. Keeping it inside your chest and never bringing the dark into the light of consciousness, and never sharing out of fears and self-importance is not confronting and reconciling the internal turmoil. At least that is how i understand things so far.

Personaly i thank you Lynne for sharing. I feel exactly the same. What i do sometimes when i feel like this (not all times unfortunately) i push me to write something, to read as much and vote, to translate one more word, as if to win over the fear, a tiny winning over what goes on. But other than that, i don't see any reason to "cheer up" for - but that might be because i am here where i am, same with you, and we can't see the bigger picture, we'll have to walk higher on the mountain for that. OSIT.

irini

Edit: I read your post above mine Azur after i posted and i think i understand what you are talking about, but i still don't see how it relates to what Lynne wrote. What you are sying (in my own words) is when everybody sees red and a person sees blue, and in their search for answers why they see blue they find others that see blue and feel validated for what they are seeing, it might create a buffer for them like "others see blue so i am justified" so to speak and rest at that without doing what is what the blue-seeing people are supposed to do to bring more blueness in the world? Is that what you are saying? Sorry for the example, i can't think of a better way to express in my words how i read your words.

 

[Azur]

Lynne,

I should add as a caveat to your original post, and my response to yours: I have been in the exact "thought space" that you have expressed here. I recognize the feeling, and I hope you understand that my post was made with much consideration.

I hope it displaces something.

Cheers.

 

[Azur]

[

What you are sying (in my own words) is when everybody sees red and a person sees blue, and in their search for answers why they see blue they find others that see blue and feel validated for what they are seeing, it might create a buffer for them like "others see blue so i am justified" so to speak and rest at that without doing what is what the blue-seeing people are supposed to do to bring more blueness in the world? Is that what you are saying? Sorry for the example, i can't think of a better way to express in my words how i read your words.

Not sure I understood your analogy, but the part where you say: "...and rest at that without doing what is what the blue-seeing people are supposed to do to bring more blueness in the world?", I find rather disturbing ("supposed to do"?) because it seems to imply an importance of active imposition of "blueness" on the World, as opposed to a facilitation of possibility or a removal of active squelching of "blue-ism" , should it wish to express.

Have I misunderstood you?

 

[Alana]

Hi Azur, i apologize for not being clear. Another try:

What I mean by this is that the unease that lead many to search out to find answers outside of "normal" realms of common thought (as, for example, those that end up here), may at first be eased by simply seeing that it is a shared feeling. And thus lies a subtle trap by associative acknowledgment: that others have searched beyond where many, many others do not, and therefore it is a validation of sorts.

You say that those who search beyond than most do, when they find others of like mind see it as a validation. Correct? And if i am correct, what kind of validation you speak about?

That those lead to quest, go afield, and consider as real possibilities such (usually unacceptable) strange concepts as hyperdimensional physics, and beings of said realms, extra-luminary communication, intra-human (genetic) predators, etc., does not in any way insulate them from sighing in relief that there are others who also acknowledge the possibility, and by extension "someone is doing something about it". The latter feeling that "someone else is doing something about it" might bring comfort, and push away, or mask or bury the catalyst of what made them search in the first place, and essentially provide a more subtle avenue to "go back to sleep".

Again, here you speak of those who search beyond than most do, and you say that when finding others who understand the things they understand but also these others do something about it, might get them into the comfort zone of sayng "others are doing something" so the former might go back to sleep. Correct? Although wouldn't you think that if one finds others who see what they see and those others do something about it, it would inspire them to do something about it too? Because if they truly see, it is not very easy to go back to sleep. OSIT.

This existence, seen as an impossible war (by some), appears to be thus only because of the perception used to observe. But it isn't an external war at the very root of it, no matter the surface appearance.

It is very much an internal one.

That is very true. But aren't these battles with trying to understand what goes around us and live with it, part of the internal war?

irini

 

[vinny]

hi Lynne,

I feel your pain.

The world is a crazy place - what hurts especially is that I am a part of it, One thing that keeps me going is the idea that somehow I chose to be here in this mess, or I am 'supposed' to be here, to do whatever I will do, or for some unfathomable reason that I don't yet understand, but that I am participating in.

So I try to take this opportunity of being here, to find out what I can do, to find out 'what I am made of'.

 

[Mark7]

I think everyone here has valid perspectives in this complex time, We all travel back and forth in our thoughts and feelings. I go from dreading the time when things REALLY may start to go crazy to being grateful to be alive at a time when we may achieve some sort of new and indescribable freedom. The C's have told Laura to network many times. There may be false safety in numbers if one does not do the work on the self but networking, (and maybe sharing too), can increase knowledge in an STO manner - and "knowledge protects".

 

[Cyre2067]

I try to retain the thought that "as long as i am alive there is a chance to change things, for the better."

Thanks Lynne for sharing your feelings b/c there are times when i feel the same way.

edit: this thread always tends to help me out when i get in a 'down' mood.

 

[ScioAgapeOmnis]

I think the important thing to keep in mind is that the situation on our planet is SUPPOSED to bring emotional and psychological pain to any person with a conscience that takes an objective look around. Which also means that this pain in our hearts and minds cannot be alleviated by simply sharing it like when you share a personal "issue" with others who also have that personal personal "issue", which makes you feel better about it just by knowing that others share your problem as well. This is not a personal psychological or emotional issue that can be done away with by comforting each other in the knowledge that others share it. This can only be alleviated if the world was to change. Otherwise, we're buffering, we're trying to make ourselves feel better without actually changing the situation that made us feel bad in the first place.

If you're standing in fire, there are 2 ways to make yourself feel better. One, get out of the fire. Two, make your nerves numb to the pain. But you'll still be burning to death, you just won't feel it.

I totally agree that there is a law of 3 "there is good, there is evil, and there is the specific situation that determines which is which". So not all "sharing" is a means to buffer, and sometimes it's important to get things "off your chest", so that in and of itself is not a problem as far as I understand it, but the devil is in the details. This whole forum is about sharing, it's about networking, which is essential for our growth. But the above scenario is always a possibility - where sharing is a means to buffer, to make yourself feel better about something even when that feeling was completely justified and this "something" is not actually being changed, only the feeling is. Lynne, I think it would help for you to simply consider this, and honestly question whether you're doing this to any degree.

The clue that some buffering *could* be involved may be in the statement "get it off my chest". What exactly are you "getting off your chest" and how would it "get off your chest" if the situation of the world that made your heart ache didn't change just by writing down your feelings?

I think the knowledge that others share your feelings and understanding can be of help to get rid of the hopelessness, which is not a bad thing to get rid of, considering it could be there for emotional and not objective reasons. But don't let it get rid of your sadness and hurt for the planet as well.

 

[Alana]

Brent, thank you for the reminder. I read that thread last summer, but now i got much more from it now than i did then.

SAO, you make a valid point here

But the above scenario is always a possibility - where sharing is a means to buffer, to make yourself feel better about something even when that feeling was completely justified and this "something" is not actually being changed, only the feeling is. Lynne, I think it would help for you to simply consider this, and honestly question whether you're doing this to any degree.

which i would take into consideration for myself also. I think now i understand what Azur was saying also, which is similar to what you are saying now - OSIT.

 

[noise]

Hi Lynne,

How do you fight against something like this? And it's not only the U.S. anymore. You see it EVERYWHERE now. There is not a country that hasn't, or isn't in the process of being ponerized.

For a couple years I tried doing video's. About two times a week I'd try to get out a new music video. Got about 140 in two years. The intent was never to get over it but burn it through my emotions. It helped to get over the sadness and, well, got me pretty angry about the situation which fueled more video's. Over time and with the help of others here I've come to realize that the Work was taking a back seat. I couldn't really tell that I was getting nothing done as far as personal progress by spinning in a circle of anger. Now a couple of months since my site has been taken down I've finally realized that doing the site I used to was keeping me somewhat locked in a particular series of spins - gain info, acknowledge, REACT, create a video.

It was a good thing generally. In my own perspective I was trying to share the shocks and hopefully got some people thinking but the time consumed could have been used on more useful things like improving my own awareness about myself. Heh, not that I have much of that. :)

I still do some video's but they are much fewer and farther in between. The website went down in March and now I'm moving toward a more strategic enclosure vs. trying to be in peoples faces with my political view. Anyhow, regardless - I've still got plenty of issues to work at or even realize. Doing slideshow/video 's helped me alot in seeing some of the atrocities path's are putting our fellow normies through.

 

[alwyn]

This is a thought-provoking thread. Just to throw out one more consideration...sometimes the feeling of hopelessness can act as a kunda-buffer. Sort of a "why bother, there's nothing I can do, just go back to sleep and forgeddabout it".
At this point, it is a good thing to be able to share this feeling with like-minded folks, or to have a teacher who can give one the proverbial "offset in the octave". Yep, it looks hopeless in this dimension. Happily, this dimension is not all there is. Therein lies the hope. The sufis say "the apparent is the bridge to the real." Therein lies the work.

When we're up to our a** in alligators, hopelessness is one option, and will probably get you killed. Sleep is another option. What are we to do? I'm sending, for your perusal, a sufi story.

The New Lion
A lion was captured and locked up in a reservate where, to his surprise, there were also other lions that had been there for many years, some of them even all their lives: they had been born in captivity. The newly arrived one didn't waste any time in becoming familiar with the activities of the other lions, which were associated in different groups.
One group was "the socializers", another one "those of the world of show business" and there was a group's aim was the preserving the habits, the culture and the history of the time in which the lions were free. There were religious groups and others that attracted those who had a literary or artistic talent. Finally, there were revolutionaries who dedicated themselves to conspire against their guardians and other revolutionary groups. Once in a while a revolt exploded and a certain group was eliminated or, the guardians got killed and replaced by other guardians.
The newly arrived lion noticed the presence of a lion that seemed to be always sleeping deeply. He did not belong to any group and was alien to all of them. Some admired him and to others he provoked hostility.
- Don't join any group- said the lonesome one - those poor lions care about everything besides the essential.
- And, what is the essential? - asked the newly arrived one.
- The essential is to study the nature of the fence.