Denis
Jedi Master
Hey dannybananny.
As many members have already stated here, I will also say it: yep, you made a mistake and did something you shouldn't have done. And kudos to you for being honest about it and realizing what you did was inappropriate. Being honest with oneself is IMHO a starting point for personal development and soul growth. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet- This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
I suggest you take this lesson as an opportunity to grow more in your understanding of yourself, the social affairs and all the dynamics that go with it (this applies to me as well, I still have so much to learn on numerous subjects, so don't take my suggestion like it's coming from some wannabe standpoint of authority, but rather, as I would more prefer it- as a friendly advice).
I have had a somewhat similar situation to yours when me & my friend were training parkour on an empty basketball playground, it was early in the evening, was already dark and getting darker (after the sunset). We were doing pull-ups, stretching exercises, jumping and so on and so forth when we noticed three drunk guys with a small dog beside them heading our way. When they were approaching us, they were trying to incite the aggression in dog by saying to him in angry tone "get'em, go get'em", I guess in order to make the dog start biting us or barking or whatever. I was starting to feel disturbed, but didn't allow myself to be overwhelmed with this emotion. However, I did FELT that I was disturbed. My friend (also a member of this forum :)) was serene and he managed to calm the puppy down with his calm assertive energy (I've learned of this phrase from Cesar Millan :D).
When they approached the leader of the "gang" (I think he was the most drunk of them all, his breath was so smelly and emanated with alcohol) came face to face with my friend (I remember thinking to myself in that moment: "uh-oh I have a feeling this will end up in a fight"), looking him right in the eye and said: "What are you two doing here, all jumping and doing those 'tricks' and so on? Can you climb to this basket column, jump down and perform some acrobatics?" Of course we were not about to entertain these guys with our "moves", we are not training to "amuse the audience" but to improve ourselves and to slowly but surely enhance our abilities. The other two were just standing aside (I guess they were waiting for our reactions on their leader questioning us so they could act "accordingly".) My friend kept his cool and responded calmly to him that we are exercising for the sake of staying vital and fit, and he wasn't affected at all with the guy's aggressive attitude. I was, on the other hand, upset but I've decided to keep my mouth shut and was waiting for my inner state to return to balance and harmony again before I jump into this discussion. I just stood there and watched the drunk guy and my friend having a "conversation". Then the guy began to "cool down" and dropped his aggressive stance, but he began bragging that he can perform sommersaults and flips over the wall and asked my friend if he wants to show it to him. (I'm grateful that he didn't do it, I was expecting to see a serious injury on him if he tried to act that foolishly in his drunk alcoholized state) My friend said that he can't yet do that and that it's cool that he (the drunk gang leader) can perform that- this statement immediately caused an "ego boost" in drunk leader's behavior and he started to brag even more how he can do this & that and the other. Soon, a girl appeared on the basketball court calling the leader to come to her (I guess she was his girlfriend) and she scolded him for his drunken state and soon the 3 of them left us alone and headed toward the girl. It was as if they forgot that we were there and having a "discussion" (my friend and the "gang leader") at all.
It was an interesting situation and I was surprised that this event didn't end up in a fistfight or something as I would sometimes find myself into when I was younger. I guess it's because my friend kept his cool head and he had some experience with how to deal with this type of situation. Interesting lesson for me indeed. As soon as the drunk guy's ego felt fed because my friend pretended he is less skillful than him, his aggressive stance ended and he was satisfied. Sometimes it is wise to "keep one's ego at bay" so that outcomes of certain situations turn out to be positive and harmless to both parties. Correction, it is ALWAYS wise to keep one's ego at bay.
Umm... regarding some members here mentioning the control of personality, emotions and actions. I think that control is the wrong choice of words. Control is an illusion. We cannot control thoughts, feelings and emotions and subsequently our actions, BUT we can guide them, direct them instead of them directing us and we can choose in which thoughts, emotions and actions we will participate and express externally.
I cannot control the flow of my thoughts and emotions but I can guide them and choose in which one I will participate according to a certain situation. Different approach to different situations. Here's a cool video clip from Kung Fu Panda about the illusion of control:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_6g4s9DkGc
I really hope that you will decide to stay and continue participating on this forum. Yes, you've made a mistake with knocking out this kid (hope he's not seriously injured) but what's important is that you have acknowledged your mistake. Learn something from it and move on to the next lesson.
But in the end, it's up to you. You decide...
In Lak'ech
As many members have already stated here, I will also say it: yep, you made a mistake and did something you shouldn't have done. And kudos to you for being honest about it and realizing what you did was inappropriate. Being honest with oneself is IMHO a starting point for personal development and soul growth. As Shakespeare wrote in Hamlet- This above all: to thine own self be true. And it must follow, as the night the day, Thou canst not then be false to any man.
I suggest you take this lesson as an opportunity to grow more in your understanding of yourself, the social affairs and all the dynamics that go with it (this applies to me as well, I still have so much to learn on numerous subjects, so don't take my suggestion like it's coming from some wannabe standpoint of authority, but rather, as I would more prefer it- as a friendly advice).
I have had a somewhat similar situation to yours when me & my friend were training parkour on an empty basketball playground, it was early in the evening, was already dark and getting darker (after the sunset). We were doing pull-ups, stretching exercises, jumping and so on and so forth when we noticed three drunk guys with a small dog beside them heading our way. When they were approaching us, they were trying to incite the aggression in dog by saying to him in angry tone "get'em, go get'em", I guess in order to make the dog start biting us or barking or whatever. I was starting to feel disturbed, but didn't allow myself to be overwhelmed with this emotion. However, I did FELT that I was disturbed. My friend (also a member of this forum :)) was serene and he managed to calm the puppy down with his calm assertive energy (I've learned of this phrase from Cesar Millan :D).
When they approached the leader of the "gang" (I think he was the most drunk of them all, his breath was so smelly and emanated with alcohol) came face to face with my friend (I remember thinking to myself in that moment: "uh-oh I have a feeling this will end up in a fight"), looking him right in the eye and said: "What are you two doing here, all jumping and doing those 'tricks' and so on? Can you climb to this basket column, jump down and perform some acrobatics?" Of course we were not about to entertain these guys with our "moves", we are not training to "amuse the audience" but to improve ourselves and to slowly but surely enhance our abilities. The other two were just standing aside (I guess they were waiting for our reactions on their leader questioning us so they could act "accordingly".) My friend kept his cool and responded calmly to him that we are exercising for the sake of staying vital and fit, and he wasn't affected at all with the guy's aggressive attitude. I was, on the other hand, upset but I've decided to keep my mouth shut and was waiting for my inner state to return to balance and harmony again before I jump into this discussion. I just stood there and watched the drunk guy and my friend having a "conversation". Then the guy began to "cool down" and dropped his aggressive stance, but he began bragging that he can perform sommersaults and flips over the wall and asked my friend if he wants to show it to him. (I'm grateful that he didn't do it, I was expecting to see a serious injury on him if he tried to act that foolishly in his drunk alcoholized state) My friend said that he can't yet do that and that it's cool that he (the drunk gang leader) can perform that- this statement immediately caused an "ego boost" in drunk leader's behavior and he started to brag even more how he can do this & that and the other. Soon, a girl appeared on the basketball court calling the leader to come to her (I guess she was his girlfriend) and she scolded him for his drunken state and soon the 3 of them left us alone and headed toward the girl. It was as if they forgot that we were there and having a "discussion" (my friend and the "gang leader") at all.
It was an interesting situation and I was surprised that this event didn't end up in a fistfight or something as I would sometimes find myself into when I was younger. I guess it's because my friend kept his cool head and he had some experience with how to deal with this type of situation. Interesting lesson for me indeed. As soon as the drunk guy's ego felt fed because my friend pretended he is less skillful than him, his aggressive stance ended and he was satisfied. Sometimes it is wise to "keep one's ego at bay" so that outcomes of certain situations turn out to be positive and harmless to both parties. Correction, it is ALWAYS wise to keep one's ego at bay.
Umm... regarding some members here mentioning the control of personality, emotions and actions. I think that control is the wrong choice of words. Control is an illusion. We cannot control thoughts, feelings and emotions and subsequently our actions, BUT we can guide them, direct them instead of them directing us and we can choose in which thoughts, emotions and actions we will participate and express externally.
I cannot control the flow of my thoughts and emotions but I can guide them and choose in which one I will participate according to a certain situation. Different approach to different situations. Here's a cool video clip from Kung Fu Panda about the illusion of control:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x_6g4s9DkGc
I really hope that you will decide to stay and continue participating on this forum. Yes, you've made a mistake with knocking out this kid (hope he's not seriously injured) but what's important is that you have acknowledged your mistake. Learn something from it and move on to the next lesson.
But in the end, it's up to you. You decide...
In Lak'ech
