Hi,
I was going through a couple of threads on The Work (Castaneda's concepts and RE: The first victory, Depression.... The intellectual centre) and a few things stood out for me and wanted to share them.
I have just finished reading Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb and found some interesting parallels between some of the concepts expressed in the above threads. In fact...
So here we have Craig's reply to Thomas:
And then Thomas' summation:
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So maybe it is a good thing to try to have the attitude of a warrior... controlled folly perhaps?
"In order to practice controlled folly, since it is not a way to fool or chastise people or feel superior to them, one has to be capable of laughing at oneself. One of the results of a detailed recapitulation is genuine laughter upon coming face to face with the boring repetition of one's self-esteem, which is at the core of all human interactions. "
--Don Juan The Eagle's Gift
Or more simply put: "One of the greatest strengths a warrior develops is their ability to laugh, to laugh at the absurdity of life, to laugh at themselves."
The world is no joke. But controlled folly lets us laugh :) Or so I think.
Anyway, I hope this all made sense. That voice is still telling me I'm talking crap.
- be quiet you *shakes fist at self*
I was going through a couple of threads on The Work (Castaneda's concepts and RE: The first victory, Depression.... The intellectual centre) and a few things stood out for me and wanted to share them.
I have just finished reading Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb and found some interesting parallels between some of the concepts expressed in the above threads. In fact...
...which was also what I thought - cool. So anyway, I drift over to the next thread and see the topic is about negative thoughts and emotions. Although the topic seemed geared more towards an external influence (as the cause of these negative emotions), I couldn't help but think of the internal ones too, you know, when you doubt yourself and call yourself stupid for doing something (ie, prematurely posting something) and completely convince yourself that EVERYONE is gonna think you're an Idiot. That's right. With a capital "I". Or maybe doing something "wrong" and then being called a useless no-good-doer. Or those times you hear this voice constantly telling you.... what if you fail? You probably will fail and then others will laugh at your stupidity! Then you go into these feeling bad programs and feel sorry for yourself. Or maybe just never try to do anything cuz that way, you'll never fail <- that's a good one ;)Irini (from the 1st thread) said:Actually if you read Trapped in the Mirror by Elan Golomb, her concept of the Negative introject resembles what Castaneda meant with Predator's mind in a down to earth way, of what i understand. [...]
So here we have Craig's reply to Thomas:
Now, its hard to be 'non-critical and impartial' when you're beating yourself up, but that is also the time when practicing the former can probably be really beneficial to your aim. Asking yourself why, is a good thing when it comes to the self, however trying to define it by good/bad might be tricky since we don't want to become identified with it. And if the negative thoughts runs away with you, it probably can manifest itself in a physical way, through sickness or compulsiveness. It does need an outlet, and perhaps felt as well, but it doesn't need to control your actions and thought. Oh how little control of the horse we have. We can get better with practice and help though...Craig (from the 2nd thead) said:Energy from the higher emotional centre brings self-consciousness, and a taste of objective love. [...] the truth about your machine, is all that matters; and it requires long sincere practice with self-remembering, self-observation, and non-identification.
It's a step forward, but true self-observation has to be non-critical and impartial. Maybe you could say it's aligning the instrument to a frequency that the Real Self functions on.What about negative thoughts? These thoughts that we recognise that make us think, "why am I thinking such a thing? Thats terrible". Well, if I think to myself "that thought is terrible" is that my Emotional Centre usurping that Energy? We may also exhibit physical symptoms of these negative thoughts. Like compulsive acts and so forth.
And then Thomas' summation:
I wouldn't say we know nothing of the subject, the basics are probably more down to earth and tangible I think. Work on the self starts with understanding HOW our machine works and then WHY. Reading up on material about psychology and narcissism is a good starting point. What I want to quote in particular, deals with the all too common 'negative voice', that contradictory and morose tone, the narcissistic parent that tells you what to think and be. I found the chapter below very insightful and reminded me of the above parts and how her approach can be useful in helping ourselves be more objective and strive to realize the real self. How to be more non-critical and impartial in order understand our malfunctions get them to function efficiently. It all starts in our head...Thomas C said:[...] All we can do is observe ourselves, remember ourselves. This work, if done effectively and with understanding helps us to identify the jobs of the different centres. These centres use energy for their work, but because in our present day and age, we no nothing about the subject, the centre's work in an inefficient way, and drain energy from each other and waste energy themselves.
But, if our observations of the functions of the centres lead us to understand their malfunctions then we have a chance of them beggining function in an efficient way, eventually producing not a lack, but an abundance of energy. This left over energy, after time, begins to form the magnetic centre (philosophers stone?), which acts as the bridge to the higher centres. [...]
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------------ --------- --------- -----Elan Golomb (Trapped in the Mirror) said:[...] The negative introject is partly the voice of your attacking and restrictive narcissistic parent whose thinking took up residence in your mind. It is not rightly a part of your self but a hostile foreigner that watches you with a critical eye. Little escapes its quest for control. It criticizes you with such comments as "You're a failure" and "Why try?" Your feelings of depression strengthen its force. It makes you discard appreciation and distrust affection. Its punitive demands and paralyzing arguments stop you from trying to change. [...]
[...] My negative introject said, "You'll never finish the writing and will be humiliated, marked as a failure, a tragedy, a landmark of shame." I felt pummeled by this. It seemed to make sense. My hopeless mood was evidence of my worthlessness. With a note of triumph, my introject said, "That is you." Later, while brushing my teeth, despondency drew me to memories of childhood. I felt asthmatic shortness of breath and wheezing, something I had not suffered since that era at times when I was emotionally abandoned, stressed, and pressured. Being unable to breathe was the physical aspect of my emotional horror. It was amazing to have an attack on the day I heard about selling my book about children of narcissists.
The negative introject squashed my feelings of success and raised fears of humiliation. Achieving and then losing again can be more painful than not achieving at all, which is why many children of narcissists do so little. Barely functioning defends us from loss. We were taught to feel responsible for fate rather than to do what we can and let results fall as they may. [...]
[...] After a period of emotional hassle, I laughingly resisted the introject's attack on my commitment and returned to work. When we measure the achievement of a person, we need to know her past, the place from where she has come.
I heard my introject's call to failure. It said that I would not be paid for my work, which part of me believed while the rest of me pushed on. I heard my healthy side saying, "The gods can have their way after you have finished." I am happy to have written this. It represents the triumph of my self. [...]
[...] In repeatedly silencing my introject I learned more about the struggle. Eradication takes deliberate thought and effort. You need to identify the introject as foreign to your self. As long as we think of it as ours, we are at a disadvantage. If we see it as a non-self, an identification that drives us to unacceptable roles, feelings, and behaviors, we can work on it. [...]
[...] Do negative thoughts lurk at the back of your mind like uninvited guests? Such ideas can be so habitual that you do not think them strange. In freeing yourself, it helps to be funny. "You here again?" humor cuts the power of oppressive ideas. Laughing, you can see that you don't believe in everything you think. It is good to tell your self-demolishing messages to those who have similar problems or who can enjoy a good joke.
Sometimes you listen too long before acting. the introjects gets hold of your mood and outwits your common sense and humor. If you can't politely back off, continue on your way despite inner criticism. Reason and will can keep you going till you get support. [...]
[...] The introject is ruthless. At varying times, you will have to battle its self-suppressive force. The introject will activate to knock you back and down. Your assigned position is what the narcissistic parent wants. [...]
[...] If you want to change your thinking to feel less pain but run from the pain introduced by the negative introject, your pain will increase. It is like a helpless child's response to an attacking parent. "I must get away from this. It is too horrible to bear." Pain grows in proportion to the magnitude of your fear. Instead note, "I am giving myself hurtful messages but I know my tendency to think the worst and shall first assess the difficulty." Objectivity reduces your introject's power. If you find a problem in your behavior, it is not equivalent to the worth of your self. A narcissist confuses his behavior and self, which renders him defensively incapable of seeing his difficulties.
Your negative introject can haunt you with tragic fantasies about yourself. To heal, say, "Tell me all and let me see it in a clear light." Fears grow in the shadows. Phobic people are haunted by fear. The more they avoid what they fear, the worse the phobia. Phobia spreads to new objects that are connected with the old. Contamination spreads through flight. Avoidance is a poor response.
[...]
[...] We give ourselves a lower rating than others do. Like all people, we make mistakes. These do not merit condemnations to wear upon our breasts but are to learn from. Humor and courage make good partners. Seeing your difficulties and your tendency to exaggerate blame, humor makes it easier to change. [...]
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So maybe it is a good thing to try to have the attitude of a warrior... controlled folly perhaps?
"In order to practice controlled folly, since it is not a way to fool or chastise people or feel superior to them, one has to be capable of laughing at oneself. One of the results of a detailed recapitulation is genuine laughter upon coming face to face with the boring repetition of one's self-esteem, which is at the core of all human interactions. "
--Don Juan The Eagle's Gift
Or more simply put: "One of the greatest strengths a warrior develops is their ability to laugh, to laugh at the absurdity of life, to laugh at themselves."
The world is no joke. But controlled folly lets us laugh :) Or so I think.
Anyway, I hope this all made sense. That voice is still telling me I'm talking crap.
- be quiet you *shakes fist at self*