Norwegian officials try to kidnap a Brazilian child

[Gwenllian]

Thanks Hithere, for your reply. :)

I can only imagine how hard it must be to care for these kids that live in war zones at home or in foster or children's homes. But know that just one caring adult can make a world of difference, OSIT. It won't save them from hell, but maybe some time in their future they will be able to remember that somewhere in their past there was an adult that cared about them, spoke up on behalf of them, smiled at them and so on.

I had a pretty rough childhood myself, but now looking back I realise that I was very lucky in the sense that I knew adults that were decent and kind to me, that tried to make me laugh with their corny jokes and when I was very small I had a dog that looked out for me. I wouldn't have made it this far without them, OSIT.

So never, ever underestimate your positive influence on a child.

 

[HiThere]

But know that just one caring adult can make a world of difference, OSIT. It won't save them from hell, but maybe some time in their future they will be able to remember that somewhere in their past there was an adult that cared about them, spoke up on behalf of them, smiled at them and so on.

I think you are right. Some of these cildren are called "dandelion children" because they are able to make it through to lead happy lives, coming from horrible family backgrounds, like a dandelion that can grow almost anywhere. Research around why some of these children come out all right seems to indicate that one caring person can make all the difference in the world.

I had a pretty rough childhood myself, but now looking back I realise that I was very lucky in the sense that I knew adults that were decent and kind to me, that tried to make me laugh with their corny jokes and when I was very small I had a dog that looked out for me. I wouldn't have made it this far without them, OSIT.

Congratulations on fighting your way to where you are now. :)

So never, ever underestimate your positive influence on a child.

I try to be a positive influence, and it is a happy time when some of them come through to a better situation, either with or without their parents by their side.

 

[Gwenllian]

But know that just one caring adult can make a world of difference, OSIT. It won't save them from hell, but maybe some time in their future they will be able to remember that somewhere in their past there was an adult that cared about them, spoke up on behalf of them, smiled at them and so on.

I think you are right. Some of these cildren are called "dandelion children" because they are able to make it through to lead happy lives, coming from horrible family backgrounds, like a dandelion that can grow almost anywhere. Research around why some of these children come out all right seems to indicate that one caring person can make all the difference in the world.

I don't know why exactly, but these words "dandelion children" did something to me. I was thinking about it yesterday, when the image of Regina Loef popped up in my head, a survivor of these horrendous pedocriminal networks in Belgium. Here is a person that was sold out by her own family, was a victim of these criminals, but left it all, when she met her future husband. She is now a mother and a courageous witness who made it possible for police officers and journalists to piece together these events.
She must be a dandelion child and I did wonder where she got her strength from. Maybe her partner and then her kids? A friend at school?
I respect her mightily.

I had a pretty rough childhood myself, but now looking back I realise that I was very lucky in the sense that I knew adults that were decent and kind to me, that tried to make me laugh with their corny jokes and when I was very small I had a dog that looked out for me. I wouldn't have made it this far without them, OSIT.

Congratulations on fighting your way to where you are now. :)

Thanks Hithere :), I find it hard to be proud of my accomplishments, but I am getting better at it every day.

I try to be a positive influence, and it is a happy time when some of them come through to a better situation, either with or without their parents by their side.

In the end it is all worth it. Thank you for doing the work that you do.

 

[HiThere]

I don't know why exactly, but these words "dandelion children" did something to me. I was thinking about it yesterday, when the image of Regina Loef popped up in my head, a survivor of these horrendous pedocriminal networks in Belgium. Here is a person that was sold out by her own family, was a victim of these criminals, but left it all, when she met her future husband. She is now a mother and a courageous witness who made it possible for police officers and journalists to piece together these events.
She must be a dandelion child and I did wonder where she got her strength from. Maybe her partner and then her kids? A friend at school?
I respect her mightily.

Me too. These people are important for us all in my opinion, as a reminder that it is possible to overcome the greatest traumas and obstacles. For other victims they are invaluable examples.

Thanks Hithere :), I find it hard to be proud of my accomplishments, but I am getting better at it every day.

:)

In the end it is all worth it. Thank you for doing the work that you do.

It is a privilege to work with these patients - there is much to learn from their stories and how they deal with it. :)

 

[Nawd]

Here in the US, my brother and I had an opposite experience. The Social Services returned us to the dismal world of being locked in separate empty rooms all day, and being fed on the floor, no beds, no toys, and beaten when we had to crap in the corners of our rooms. We had a 'different language,' because we would talk to each other through the separating wall, and we still know that language well to this day. I was three years old, and my brother was five. We remember everything however.

After three times of us returning, we finally went to a really great foster home. I loved those people so much, but as my foster mom said: "we would adopt you, but your brother is too much for us to handle and we were told it would be terrible to separate you two."

So we ended up abused at our new adoptive parents, my brother much worse than me. However we were told to lie to anyone who asked us how we were being treated, otherwise we would be beaten.

But all in all I turned out ok, my brother is still in prison after beating up our adoptive father-who recently died from a heart attack- and seven driving while drinking charges.

Turns out that when my dad died, I found all of these records, and long ago my brother was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so that explains why he tried to kill me a few times....while I was diagnosed with being 'mildly retarded.' HA, I scored way high on the IQ test when I was 28. Hehehe

Edited for: more details and further thoughts.

 

[H-KQGE]

Here in the US, my brother and I had an opposite experience. The Social Services returned us to the dismal world of being locked in separate empty rooms all day, and being fed on the floor, no beds, no toys, and beaten when we had to crap in the corners of our rooms. We had a 'different language,' because we would talk to each other through the separating wall, and we still know that language well to this day. I was three years old, and my brother was five. We remember everything however.

After three times of us returning, we finally went to a really great foster home. I loved those people so much, but as my foster mom said: "we would adopt you, but your brother is too much for us to handle and we were told it would be terrible to separate you two."

So we ended up abused at our new adoptive parents, my brother much worse than me. However we were told to lie to anyone who asked us how we were being treated, otherwise we would be beaten.

But all in all I turned out ok, my brother is still in prison after beating up our adoptive father-who recently died from a heart attack- and seven driving while drinking charges.

Turns out that when my dad died, I found all of these records, and long ago my brother was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so that explains why he tried to kill me a few times....while I was diagnosed with being 'mildly retarded.' HA, I scored way high on the IQ test when I was 28. Hehehe

Edited for: more details and further thoughts.

I'm so sorry to hear about your childhood experiences Dawn. I myself, was in the US social care system for a while when very young but fortunately, the people I was with were decent & it was a short stay. It's so sad to hear what your foster mum said, this I've heard, is pretty common with siblings & some may use it as an excuse in some cases for different reasons. I hope that your foster parents meant what they said, at least that's something...

After all that you went through, it's a shame to have to hear that your brother was diagnosed with BPD, was he really that violent toward you? Did you find any additional information on your supposed "mild retardation", because in those sciences they are always contradicting each other & giving haphazard diagnoses, even today, many newspapers have a lot of stories like that which those who were diagnosed as one thing find out that they were false.

 

[SeekinTruth]

What a horrific childhood, Dawn! I hope you've healed from it to some extent.

 

[Nawd]

Yes H-kqge , my brother tried to shoot me, and once held a knife to my neck and once tried to rape me. Then, the day before he was arrested he tried to run me over with his truck. That was four years ago.

I have healed pretty well, there is a chance I have a form of autism, but it has not been verified.

When my dad died, it seemed my world ended. I have three children and their father was arrested two days before my brother. I took care of my dad for a year, working a full time job, and then he went in for a regular stent for his heart. He stayed there for three weeks, and I was the last voice he heard. I called every day, and the last day, I called and he held the phone as well as he could. I said "Dad, I just talked to 'my brother,' and he is doing fine, the kids are doing great and I love you. " He dropped the phone and two minutes later I got the call. He dropped the phone because he just died after that.

So much pain in my life, but hey, I'm a warrior.



Edited for: spelling/grammar

 

[HiThere]

Here in the US, my brother and I had an opposite experience. The Social Services returned us to the dismal world of being locked in separate empty rooms all day, and being fed on the floor, no beds, no toys, and beaten when we had to crap in the corners of our rooms. We had a 'different language,' because we would talk to each other through the separating wall, and we still know that language well to this day. I was three years old, and my brother was five. We remember everything however.

After three times of us returning, we finally went to a really great foster home. I loved those people so much, but as my foster mom said: "we would adopt you, but your brother is too much for us to handle and we were told it would be terrible to separate you two."

So we ended up abused at our new adoptive parents, my brother much worse than me. However we were told to lie to anyone who asked us how we were being treated, otherwise we would be beaten.

But all in all I turned out ok, my brother is still in prison after beating up our adoptive father-who recently died from a heart attack- and seven driving while drinking charges.

Turns out that when my dad died, I found all of these records, and long ago my brother was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder, so that explains why he tried to kill me a few times....while I was diagnosed with being 'mildly retarded.' HA, I scored way high on the IQ test when I was 28. Hehehe

Edited for: more details and further thoughts.

That is a challenging set of circumstances to come from, and it is sad to learn of your experiences. This happens too often; that the people responsible for taking care of children that are removed from their parents aren't equipped to deal with their job in a constructive way. It is unacceptable, but continues to happen, also in my country.
I am sorry for all you have endured. Congratulations on coming through it all and being an example for others that experience similar circumstances.

 

[H-KQGE]

Yes H-kqge , my brother tried to shoot me, and once held a knife to my neck and once tried to rape me. Then, the day before he was arrested he tried to run me over with his truck. That was four years ago.

I have healed pretty well, there is a chance I have a form of autism, but it has not been verified.

When my dad died, it seemed my world ended. I have three children and their father was arrested two days before my brother. I took care of my dad for a year, working a full time job, and then he went in for a regular stent for his heart. He stayed there for three weeks, and I was the last voice he heard. I called every day, and the last day, I called and he held the phone as well as he could. I said "Dad, I just talked to 'my brother,' and he is doing fine, the kids are doing great and I love you. " He dropped the phone and two minutes later I got the call. He dropped the phone because he just died after that.

So much pain in my life, but hey, I'm a warrior.



Edited for: spelling/grammar

Thank you for sharing something so personal & I'm sure, traumatizing. To clarify, my question was based on the shock of what you experienced as a child along with your brother, that, I assumed might have given some kind of solidarity or closeness; from youth to adulthood. I hope my question didn't come across as doubting you, I was shocked & if we had been talking in person, my expression would have been clearer, my normal reactions to hearing such experiences would be to use "colourful" language; especially when said experience makes me feel pain.

It's pleasing to hear how you've battled through all those difficulties, such emotional pain with your dad & your children's father must have been a turning point, to let it destroy you or to use it to push forward. I think that it's safe to say that not many would have survived what you have experienced, & I'm glad to read that your attitude is that of "a warrior."