One of my journal entries

monotonic

The Living Force
I wanted to post this journal entry I made a year ago or so, but kept finding things wrong with it. I finally decided to post it with minor edits because I think it may be a valid illustration of patterns in our lives. If it's good, maybe it can be rewritten and used.

Monotic's journal said:
At 9:00 in the evening you decide to go to bed at 10:00, for good reasons. 10:00 passes and you decide to stay up for no good reason.

When your being at one time denies your being at another time, your being is divided by the contradiction. The person at 9:00 who decides to that 10:00 is a good time for bed becomes separate from the person who at 11:00 who has decided not to. The latter person denies the former and when the pain of contradiction becomes predictable, tunes it out. For the 11:00 man to be the same person as the 9:00 man, he must have chosen not to sleep using the same knowledge and reasoning with which at 9:00 he had chosen to go to bed at 10:00. If the reason is good, there is no contradiction.

In this simple way we divide ourselves into disparate personalities that continually contradict and undo our work.

The passing from the 9:00 man to the 11:00 man can be healed with discipline and awareness. But if there is no reconciliation, and the mounting contradictions not fixed, yet another division may form instead - the 10:00 man! His purpose will be to deny both of the others, placating them at the same time, to make the passing from one to the other imperceptible.

And on this goes, divisions multiplying, until you are hopelessly divided and disfunctional.
 
The observation in the entry is a valid illustration of what happens.

[quote author=Monotonic]
The passing from the 9:00 man to the 11:00 man can be healed with discipline and awareness. But if there is no reconciliation, and the mounting contradictions not fixed, yet another division may form instead - the 10:00 man! His purpose will be to deny both of the others, placating them at the same time, to make the passing from one to the other imperceptible.

And on this goes, divisions multiplying, until you are hopelessly divided and disfunctional.
[/quote]

I think how the 10:00 man is formed can play a significant role in determining whether there is further division or there is a little step towards integration.

One way to look at it is: how did the decision to go to bed at 10:00 come about? Was it a whim? Was it based on the body giving signals that it is tired and wants to rest? Was it based on some knowledge input regarding healthy sleeping habits?

If the decision to go to bed at 10:00 comes from a strong, stable and rational foundation, then it can become a general aim. It is very common to find resistance to the aim. Then there is an inner struggle. This struggle is regarded as very important in the 4th Way context as this builds something inside. Struggling for an aim can lead to integration.

As for the struggle itself, with a little attention it is possible to see which part says "yes" and which part says "no". The third force or the reconciling aspect is usually ignored and by default it is brought into play mechanically. Then the final outcome is dependent on chance. If you are bored and have nothing interesting to do at the time, or if you are very tired, you can go to sleep at 10:00. But if you are hooked to the tv or the computer, then the outcome would be different.

One way to facilitate the conscious entry of the third force is to go through certain preparations at the time of the formation of the aim followed by periodic renewal of the aim. Gurdjieff suggested getting into a collected state before forming an aim. One way to come to such a collected state can be through meditation (EE for example). In the collected state the aim is formed, a decision and commitment made. One can even ask for help in the form of a short prayer. Then one can write down the aim in a piece of paper and re-read it periodically for remembering it.

Then when the time of struggle arrives, the third force enters and the aim is fulfilled. How it comes may vary. Sometimes, it can come through the body. Sometimes, the feelings. Sometimes even the environment can provide the conditions in which remembering and carrying out the aim becomes easier. It depends a lot on the strength of commitment made at the time of the aim, the periodic renewals of the commitment and the amount of effort put in the previous struggles made to fulfill the aim. In a way it is mysterious. It is best to try this out and experience it.

fwiw
 
So I may be trying to simplify things here a bit but the 9.00pm guy would need a conscious shock at 9.00pm to remind himself that he is the 9.00pm guy and therefore go to bed at 9.00pm, if it is the 9.00pm guy that is the most desirable upon reflection? If the 9.00pm guy is aware of himself and he is the most desirable then that would be the impetus to not become the 10.00pm guy. Perhaps
 
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